DISCLAIMER: All character rights belong to ABC & Shonda Rhimes.
Summary: Callie's thoughts before, during, and after meeting Arizona for the first time. Set at the end of 5x14
The Dirty Bar Bathroom Kiss, Callie's POV
Here I am, sitting at this god-awful bar again. God! I have had the worst luck this year. I keep going over it and over it in my head, yet can't seem to pinpoint exactly where it was that I went wrong… Okay, so my marriage failed. I'm not going to lie: It was a pretty big blow. I shouldn't have expected as much as I did. George never really loved me. He was grieving the death of his father and I was blind and stupid. When I was a teenager, I used to ask my sister Aria for dating advice. We've both always had this kind of overbearing personality. A lot of Latin men find it attractive; they like strong women. My dad used to say that. "Like your mother, Calliope. You're just like your mother. A strong, strong woman," he would say. I'm not strong. I'm just ...domineering, in a completely unattractive way. Aria could always keep her men. They flocked to her. I, on the other hand, run them off. I've always run them off. They head for the hills. I'm too needy. I wear my heart on my sleeve. God, I'm such an idiot. I am 31 years old and I am completely at a loss. How did I get here? How did I become this person? Not only did George leave me, but Erica left me. I've been jilted by not only men, but by a woman now! I am so confused! I don't know what I want. I feel like I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. The only thing that makes sense in my life is my job. When I'm in the OR, I feel so powerful; in control. I don't think I've ever felt that way about my life.
When I was a kid, I used to dream of marriage and having kids and nothing has panned out the way it was supposed to. That disgusting gap between dreams and reality has really thrown me. I had a vision for my life--a clear, fool-proof vision and none of it has come to pass. Nothing. I am broken and alone. How did I end up alone? Ugh, I just want to disappear. Everybody knows. I hear the whispers in the halls, I see the look on the scrub nurses faces when I walk past them. They know and I am so... ashamed. My thoughts are interrupted for a moment.
I look up from my drink. Little Grey is walking toward me. Ugh, spare me. "Mind if I sit here?", she asks.
Yes, go away! "No, no just... over thinking" I down the rest of my shot. Oh, God that burns.
"You think he'll tell him?" she asks, referring to Mark informing Shepherd of their dating situation.
"If he's not an idiot" I reply, trying desperately to hide the emotion that is filling me up. Racing thoughts. Not a good sign.
She sees the look on my face. I'm going to cry. I can't hold my emotions together right now. I am slightly inebriated; I fear I may not be able to control myself. I gotta get out of here. Don't let anyone see you break, Callie. Come on. Be strong.
"Uh, I don't...I'm fine.", I say, choking back my tears.
I get up. I've got to get a hold of myself. I rush to the bathroom and stare straight ahead at the mirror in front of me. I start to fix my make-up. My mascara has run a little. I'll be okay. It's gonna be okay. Oh, no! I hear footsteps. I hope it's not Lexie. I can't take anymore of this.
The door opens. In walks a woman I've never seen before. Thank God.
"Hey", she says. Weird.
"Hey", I reply.
I think I've finally got myself together. I'm alright. I'll be alright.
"Ortho right?"
"Yeah, right. Hi," I say.
I'm good. I'm absolutely fine. Weak moment. I'm fine now.
"I'm Arizona Robbins, PEDS surgery. I've seen you at the hospital."
Oh, no! She knows. Okay, just play it off, Cal. Come on. I let out a slight chuckle. This is so freaking embarrassing.
"Are you okay?"
"You know, I'm fine--I'm fine"
I turn around to face her. I've got this. I can have a conversation right now. I am fine. Keep cool, Callie.
"People talk, where we work. They talk..alot."
Who is this woman again? A Peds surgeon? She's pretty. Oh God, Why am I thinking about that?
"So, for the sake of being honest--I-I think I should tell you I know things about you…because people talk..
Oh my God. "Oh, you mean...?"
Of course that's what she means. I am mortified. I am humiliated. Uggh. She nods her head back at me, with a beautiful smile. Perky one, this woman. Smiles a lot.
"Terrific," I say.
Alright, I'm going to have deal with this. I can face things head on. Bring it, perky girl.
"It is actually. The talk. People really like you over there. They respect you and they're concerned and interested. They really like you.", she says.
Right. I'm not buying this.
"Some of them really like you." She continues.
"You just.. you look upset and I thought that you should know that the talk is good."
What? I can feel tears start to well up in my eyes. Who is this woman!?
"And, when you're not upset, when you're over being upset, there'll be people lining up for you", she finishes, with a reassuring nod. She' s sweet.
My tears are forgotten in a mess of my own confusion. I laugh. How else can I respond?
"You wanna give me some names?", I ask.
She has no answer for this and thus the conversation will end. I can finally go home. Wait, why is she loooking at me like that? She's leaning into me.
What's happeni-- She is kissing me! What the..?
She's... beautiful.
"I think you'll know...", she says.
I'm in shock. Complete shock. She smiles at me. She's sexy and nice and cute and--should I say something to her? She's backing out of the room. She keeps eye contact as she leaves, never letting her smile waver. I don't know what to say. I'm frozen. I gotta go home and think. I can't believe she kissed me. I can't believe she kissed me. Wow! WOW
