A/N: Drabble about Quinn's thoughts during the first Glee club scene in 1.15 – because who didn't notice the big hearts all over her notebook? Spoilers for this episode, obviously.
And I still don't own Glee.
When Quinn looked at her crush and picked up her pen, it was almost subconscious. The lines taking shape on her page morphed into the other girl before her eyes, unintentionally. It was a crude drawing, unflattering. The ex-Cheerio never had been good at art. The hearts she drew -yes, hearts- were perfect. She's had plenty of time to practise those, having been silently lusting after the star since before sectionals. In her untidy scrawl, the person in the caricature is named by an arrow pointing to her likeness. Rachel Berry.
From her seat a few feet away, Santana catches her friend's eye with an accusatory stare, one eyebrow cocked skywards. Quinn doesn't look back. Now, however, she's conscious of what she's done. The picture she's drawn in plain view of anyone who looked her way. Inside her head, she berates herself and quickly scratches out above the drawing "LOSER". It didn't explain the hearts, but at least it looked a hell of a lot better. Now that she was as covered as she could ever be, she let her eyes take in the picture she'd drawn. The other girl's nose was too big, and she'd done nothing to capture the intensity of those shiny chocolate orbs that Quinn often found herself getting lost in. It was still all she had.
When Rachel makes her way down to the front of the group, the cheerleader quickly hugs the notebook to her chest. When she hears the word "dating" fall from those lips, her head snaps up and she can't help the split second look of heartbreak that flits across her features. Then it's gone, and she turns her attention back to her book. Her crush relays a story of making out and being pressured into sex to the girls of Glee, and Quinn can't help the way her grip on the pen tightens painfully. She can't believe that someone would use her like that – almost more than she can't believe the gorgeous girl is still a virgin. Sure, she could be a bit overbearing and conceited at times. Most of the time, in fact. That tends to put boys off. Even so, there is still something special about Rachel Berry. Quinn just can't put her finger on what it is.
"Would you please stop talking, you're grossing out my baby." Of course she says that. Because how can she explain the real reason she wants Rachel Berry to stop talking? She could say, "Would you please stop talking, because it is really difficult for me to think about you with some boy "hypothetically" without wanting to punch something? ...Preferably said boy." That just didn't have quite the same ring to it. So instead, she let Santana tell her to stop saying no. Because even though she feels her heart break just a little more, there's nothing else she can do.
