If Betel wasn't crazy as shit before he sure was going to gonna loose it by the time Juno decided he had been waiting long enough. He must have been in there for years and dammit he needed to get out and get back to work and...
Well, he needed to get laid too dammit!
I wish someone would destroy this hell hole. Who wants to die just to wait some more? Betel thought bitterly and crossed his arms.
To be perfectly honest, he had gone over these sort of thoughts a hundred times before but as time went on he just got angrier and the more he got angry the more likely he was to forgot all about his personal rantings.
The only thing that kept him from going bonkers after reaching his boiling point was the nice looking distraction that had just walked up to the front desk. And considering the way Betel Geuse's tantrums went when he had to use the word 'bonkers' to describe them... well let's just say the Miss Argentina Receptionist should be damn grateful for that tasty lady she was talking to.
But not as grateful as Betel was planning to be.
The woman in question was all sorts of yum from behind, he could only hope she had a face to match and if not he could get over that soon enough. She was wearing a black mini dress that looked fantastic from behind over fishnet stalkings paired with a pair of thigh high boots. It was all Betel could do to not shout for the room to clear out now so he could put his best moves on her.
Standing up, Betel smoothed his hair back and checked his breath. Ahh the stench of rotten cockroaches. Poifect.
So what if his last hundred times of putting the moves on a lady in this very room hadn't worked. He had a good feeling about this one.
Clearing his throat he reached forward to tap on her shoulder as suavely as was possible but before he touched her she turned around and looked up at him with a pair of big ole surprised brown eyes.
Betel laughed, hardly believing his luck. "So look who finally got in."
Lydia Deetz was quick to wipe that look of shock off her face and glare at him instead.
Maybe he wouldn't be getting lucky then. Fine, there was always the next good looking thing who would appreciate a suave tap on the shoulder.
When Lydia tried walking past him, Betel was quick to jump back in front of her. "No way am I lettin' you go that easy, babes. I mean, you know when you leave I'll just get bored as balls again!" Don't make me beg, I don't want to go bonkers anymore!
"Let me go Betel Geuse."
"Ah hah! that's once. Guess you want me to come with you then" Betel snickered. "'Sides, I'm not holdin' on to you or anything so just go chill your twat doll face."
Lydia rolled her eyes at him before she moved past him again and accidentally brushed against him. That was when he thought to ask her about the crazy outfit and the story behind that.
"You become a stripper since our wedding?" Betel asked, deciding it couldn't hurt to guess to get the conversation going. Strippers were his favorite kind of woman. Especially those single mom types... they always worked so damn hard for his tip... Ah good times.
The only response he got was a bunch of obscene language thrown over her shoulder before she walked through the green mist.
Betel frowned.
I was completely serious. Where does she get off just ignoring legitimate questions?
The next time Betel saw Lydia he figured another couple of years had passed. Apparently her dog had died and she wanted to know about animals in the Afterlife and boy did that girl cry something fierce when she found out that sort of thing just didn't happen.
Betel was going to seize the opportunity to offer her a sympathy lay but as he stood up to walk towards the sobbing woman, the Miss Argentina Receptionist told him Juno wanted to see him.
Betel looked at her, his face completely expressionless as all he felt was defeat.
They are all against me.
He had barely sat down across from Juno and she was already giving him the harshest lecture he ever heard.
"Do you know how much paper work I've had to do because of your irresponsibility?" She shouted, or tried to before she had a coughing fit.
Betel attempted to look like he gave a damn before shrugging, "I know I don't care..."
"Well guess what, Geuse, you're going on probation. Very strict probation! And I'm completely serious about this probation, got it Betel? So no gally-wagging about while you're supposed to be on probation!" She scolded while pointing a long bony finger at him.
"Are you saying I'm going on probation?" Betel asked, deciding to be a smart ass instead of dwelling on what the hell "gally-wagging" meant.
"Don't you try and get funny now. Just get to work signing these papers."
Betel made a noise of defeat when she slammed down the large pile in front of him.
"What're all these for!?" He asked, pretty damn sure he didn't break that many rules.
"They're to ensure you never, ever try to marry a mortal again. Or an underage mortal at that." The tone Juno answered with made Betel wish he hadn't even asked.
"Alright." Betel grumbled, pulling the pile closer to him to start signing. "Don't know what signing ever ensured anyone anyway."
Juno pretended not to hear him and leaned back in her chair. She spent the rest of their meeting watching him sign papers and looking far too pleased with herself.
When Betel Geuse finally walked outside into the fresh-ish air of the Neitherworld, his hand was cramped up and looked morphed.
Son of a bitch. Now I can't even finish what Lydia started all on my own.
Grumbling to himself, Betel walked home and began to think how nice it would be if someone just bombed the Waiting Room. Not like anyone would get hurt or anything.
Betel had been out buying groceries - well beer at least - the next time he spotted Lydia's ass and then he recognized the rest of her.
"Well hello." Grinning, Betel leaned against the display of grey oranges she was looking at.
Lydia rolled her eyes and made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat.
"Yeah these oranges don't look so great." Betel agreed.
Fixing him with a hard stare, Lydia shook her head before turning to walk away. She wasn't even going to say a damn thing to him.
That just wasn't fair at all.
"But I could easily get you a crate of real ones." He didn't know why he had offered that, except he knew it had been a long time since he'd been to the real world and it had been a horribly long time since Lydia had cursed at him.
That made her pause at least and Betel continued, "As many crates as you like."
Turning, Lydia walked towards him with her hands on his hips and he suddenly had the urge to say please as well.
"If you could get me a crate of real oranges I would appreciate it." Lydia said carefully and Betel realized she didn't want to owe him anything.
"How about we make a deal what with you being oh so appreciative and all."
Raising an eyebrow at him, Lydia tilted her head. "Like what? And nothing stupid, I'm not marrying you or doing anything like that."
"Hey now don't you go underestimatin' me like that." Betel told her sternly to which she merely shrugged. Smirking, Betel looked her up and down and decided she probably wouldn't appreciate his suggestion of spending the night. Or week, whatever. "I get you a crate of the finest oranges you've ever seen... and you tell me the story behind that little get up of yours and why you're going and dying so young."
Lydia appeared to think about it for a moment and Betel could smell victory on the way. After all, with the high maintenece ones like Lyds you had to start out slow. Talk to em and shit. Then they pretty much tell you to get in their pants.
"You get me a crate and I'll tell you the story behind my outfit. You'll have to do something better than that for the other story."
Betel watched her go and frowned. She didn't look beat up like she was in some sort of crash. No cuts on her arms and her face looked normal so she couldn't have drowned or anything like that.
What was her issue anyway? It's not like he was touchy about his death... well he wasn't when he could remember it.
Remembering something, Betel shouted after her as an after thought, "Hey, I don't know how to get a hold of you brainiac!"
