Story

(which is the most original title ever, btw)

By DMRox and Sailor Scully

A/n: Ok. So, we were watching the Harry Potter movie. Isnt that how it always starts? Anyhoo, uhhh…stuff. Yay. So, all the craziness in this story is a product of watching the Harry Potter movie. Don't kill us. (flames can be sent to sailorscully2000@aol.com; I'll feed them to my neopets. Yay.)

Chapter one – The Phantom Insanity

One bright and sunny day (as opposed to the clichéd "dark and stormy night"), Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were strolling across the front lawn of Hogwarts, heading towards the Quidditch practice field. They walked, and walked, when suddenly a familiar sounding voice called Harry's name.

"Hey Potter! Guess what!?" yelled the Mysterious Voice ™ . Harry and Ron turned around, and suddenly the Mysterious Voice™ wasn't so mysterious anymore, because it was…Oliver Wood! *gasp* Harry and Ron were thrilled to see him.

"Hey, Wood…haven't seen you in a few years…what's up?" asked Ron.

Oliver grinned and said, "Well, I went to America for a few years, and I actually played on a Quidditch team over there, in Massachusetts, the Salem Trials. And I'm the new quidditch coach for Gryffindor because you guys are so bad, now that I've left, whoo, what a coincidence! Anyway, you're getting a new assistant coach, too. And, what another coincidence, here she comes now!"

Just at that moment, a girl came running happily out the front door, and down the steps, tripping over the last one. "Oops! Haha…" she walked over to where the guys were standing and hugged Oliver. "Hi Oliver!" she smiled.

"Hi, Sarah! These are two of the kids from the Gryffindor team we're gonna help out. Harry here's the seeker, and Ron's a beater. But we still don't have another chaser…where are we gonna find you a chaser when the first match is next week?" The four of them turned and watched the rest of the Gryffindor team practice.

Suddenly, a blur shot by them and snatched the Quaffle out of Seamus (who is now officially a chaser) Finnigan's hands.

"What the bloody…" he gaped as the human blur chucked the quaffle directly through the goal. Everyone stared as the blur screeched to a halt and waved down at Oliver and the gang.

"Hi!!!!!!!!!!" she yelled and dashed down to them. "I heard you needed a chaser?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "How convenient, that you just HAPPENED to be here just as we said that."

"Yes, I just HAPPENED to be there just as you said that." She imitated. Sarah rolled her eyes once again (she does that a lot).

"Harry, Ron…this is Sheilagh," Sarah said. "She's a really good chaser, she played on the Salem team with Oliver and me, even though she's still a seventh year student. I guess that'd make her the same age as you guys, huh?" Sarah grinned. "Oh! I didn't really introduce myself, either…I'm Sarah, I'm from Salem, Massachusetts, too."

"Isn't that in America?" Ron asked, astonished. Harry "golf-clapped".

"Bravo, Ron! You're so smart!" he cheered sarcastically. Ron punched him. Everyone else laughed.

"So…are all the old teachers from when I went here still here, Olly?" Sarah asked. "Oooh…is S² still here?" she laughed. "And Cat-lady? And of course, Dumbledrawers must still be here…" Oliver grinned.

"Yep, they're all still here. Oh! Wanna go visit them??" he asked.

"YEAH!" Sarah said gleefully. Ron and Harry grinned at the thought of the pair terrorizing any of the teachers, even if they didn't know WHO S² or Cat-Lady were.

"Well, we have to get back to practice," Harry sighed. Sheilagh smiled at Ron and said, "I'll go with you. I should get used to playing with you guys after all, right?" Ron nodded and the three of them headed off.

Sarah and Oliver headed into the building, towards the dungeon, where they heard Snape yelling at some poor fool of a student. Sarah grinned at Oliver and bounded into the room, shouting gleefully, "Hi, S²!" She dashed over and jumped on his back, as the student keeled over laughing.

"OOOooof!" Snape grunted, and twisted sideways, throwing her off. She fell on the ground next to the student, grinning cheerfully.

"Hiya, S²! Didja miss me? Huh? Huh? huh?" Snape leered at her. Oliver strolled in, helping her off the ground, as Snape continued to leer.

"Uhh…you better not keep that face on for long, 'cuz if someone hit you on the back it would stick that way," Sarah said. Oliver snuck around behind him and hit him on the back. Snape gasped, and could not move his face!

"Mrrrrreeeeeg!?!?!!?? Mmmhat Mrrrrrr Mrffffffff Frrrmmm?!?!?!?!??" (this will definitely not be translated). Sarah and Oliver laughed insanely and skipped off to terrorize the catlady. The student dashed off, and Snape headed off to the hospital wing to get his face fixed.

Meanwhile, Sheilagh was off practicing with the Gryffindors. Well, actually she was SCHOOLING the Gryffindors. Awfully. It was painfully obvious how terrible they were. Then, a whistle blew signaling Gryffindor's practice time was over, and it was Ravenclaw's turn to use the practice field. Harry held Ron back for a second.

"Hang on, Ron…I heard Ravenclaw got a new coach, too…lets see who she is…" Ron poked Sheilagh. "wanna stay with us, too?"

"suuuure, why not. I got nothing better to do." She threw an arm around his shoulders and they walked back. Ron was blushing a lot, but Sheilagh couldn't figure out why. (because she's sort of….dense. Haha. (DMRox: what!? Ron's dense too!!)) So they went back to the Quidditch field…and WHOA! Guess who the new captain was!?

It was Cho Chang.

(you expected someone else?)