I've been trying to write a diary for years, but I always seemed to give up before I got anywhere. I don't know, I've always had way too much to do, but nothing to say. And I'm the sort of person who gets started on about a billion crazy projects and gets bored in five seconds.

Only now I've got all the time in the world. And everything to say. If I tell my story, maybe at least I'll get one good thing out of everything that happened.

Where shall we start? How about the summer holidays. Or, no, a few weeks later when the story really started. Because though most stuff happens to us at the weekend and in the holidays, stuff happens at school too.

Friday

School was always weird, being in care. Although Carmen was in year nine, like me, she was in a different form. It's strange, what things are like at school. It's like, we're all in different friendship groups, and there, we mostly hang out with people in our form. So Carmen and Lily never had much to do with me there. Bailey's in my form, which is sort of weird, cos it means he's the person from the dumping ground I see most. Jody and the little kids are still at primary school, and Tyler's in the year below me. And everyone else is older, so they look down at me when I'm at school. But in a way, it's like everyone from the dumping ground is linked, too, because we're all care kids. And some people are kind of weird about that. I'm unlucky enough to be in the same class as the school bully, this guy called Thomas Fletcher who no one likes, and he's always making stupid comments, but luckily he gives Bailey more hassle than me. I guess it's cos Bailey's a boy, which I know is sexist but is definitely the case, and it's also because Bailey gets angry a lot more easily than me. And I've had years practice at handling people like Thomas Fletcher. He doesn't really know how to wind me up very well.

I haven't got a best friend in my class. There's these two girls I hang out with a lot, though. I get on best with Cally. She's really creative, and great at winding up the teachers. It's almost like she's above them, and she knows how to get away with almost anything. Her best friend is a really pretty girl called Ruby, who all the boys are into, including Bailey! Ruby's lovely, but I don't think I have as much in common with her as with Cally, though she's a lot nicer. Sometimes Cally can be a bit weird about me being in care, and she doesn't like coming home with me after school. Ruby's a lot nicer that way. I've got other friends too, but I don't get on with them as well. Becky and Melanie are the sort of people I chat to, but wouldn't tell things to, like if someone was thinking about fostering me and Johnny. And then there's Jenny, who went to my primary school, and who I go to netball club with.

So anyway, that day, the day everything began, we were all having breakfast in our school uniforms. Carmen was texting Lily (again) and everyone else was fighting, and I was worried there'd be a food fight and I'd have to go to school covered in bits of cornflakes, which would be mortifying, and not just cos of Thomas Fletcher and Cally. But because everyone would see that all the care kids had been having a food fight, and you know, just automatically group us. I hate that!

Thank goodness we don't have to go to school by minibus. That would be too embarrassing, though I'd never dare to say so, and none of my friends would ever want to come to my place after school. Not that it is my place. No, we take a normal bus. I met up with Cally but she was sitting with Ruby so I sat next to Carmen instead. That's another thing. It's sort of like Carmen's my sister when we're at school, so sitting with her is kind of like sitting with Johnny. It's complicated. But what choice did I have?

Anyway, to be honest I don't particularly like school. I mean, it can be fun, and some of the subjects are all right, but when it's like you have a label saying "Care kid! Approach at your own risk!" it isn't always fun. But I caught up with Cally in the classroom and got ready for the day.


"I'm so glad it's almost the summer holidays," I said to her. "I don't think I could stomach much more of Mrs Harrison teaching maths..."

"Trying to," Cally corrected me. "We're always asleep by the time she's got Thomas and Matt to shut up. And no one listens to what she says, anyway."

"I know," I agreed. "I hope we get a better teacher next year. I don't really want to fail my maths exam when the time comes."

It was only when I saw the look of disbelief Cally was giving me that I realised how geeky that sounded. Cally doesn't understand anyone being even remotely interested in school.

"I wonder what how Jody will find this school," I said, changing the subject quickly."

"Oh yeah," said Cally. "She's got her induction day next week, hasn't she?"

"That's right." I paused. "I hope she doesn't get picked on too much. You know, for being in care."

"Well, from what I've heard about her, I don't think Jody's the type of person who'd get bullied," Cally comforted me. "She'll be fine, you'll see."

"I hope so."

"Quiet, please!" said my teacher, and we shut up.

It was later that day that everything kicked off. There are some days which just seem to be destined to be life-changing. Or where everything goes wrong. Like the day I got a letter from my mum, who I hadn't heard from since I was five. Or for Carmen, the day she heard that Lily was moving away, and got arrested... well, some days are just big. I've had more dramatic days than the one I'm talking about, but two very significant things did happen, which sparked things off later. The first thing didn't seem that big at first, but small things can grow in time.


It was at morning break. Carmen and I were sitting on some bench in the playground, looking through one of her magazines (which was all we could think of to do). It was a seriously hot day, and I was really too lazy to do anything but gaze around, and there was nothing to gaze at but Thomas Fletcher and Matt McDonald acting like they were special. All I was thinking about was summer hairstyles and holidays. I had seriously had enough of that year, with everything happening at home, not to mention school, and summer is my favourite time of year. It's like all the regular routines are dropped and the possibilities are endless. Like when I was eleven and ruined everyone's holiday by accidentally letting out a load of sheep. Somehow, I managed to get everyone an even better holiday. I still think it was a miracle.

"No way." Carmen broke into my thoughts. "Thomas Fletcher is an idiot, sure, but this is too much. He is going to get caught."

"What's he doing, smoking or something?" I muttered, bored.

"Taking money from little kids." Carmen said. "He is crazy."

"Maybe they owed it to him."

"Um, no. I think he's just threatening them. I didn't think that really happened."

I looked up. What he was doing did seem like classic bullying. I'd never seen anything like it.

I'm not usually the type of person to step in with things like that. Maybe it was because I'd been thinking back to when I ruined that holiday, and how hurt I felt when everyone blanked me. Or maybe it was how similar that kid whose schoolbag they were turning upside down looked to Mo. But suddenly I was over there.

"Can't you think of anything better?" I said. Thomas turned round, and stared at me.

"You what?" he said, in a surprised and slightly amused tone. That's when I realised what I was doing. What was I thinking? I wondered, panicking. But it was too late to back out now. I had to think of something clever, and quick, in order to keep my dignity.

"Don't you have any imagination?" I said, trying not to stammer. (Yes, I know, not at all clever and just typical creative-person-insult, but as you can probably tell, I'm not good at the spur of the moment.) I continued. "There's loads of ways of making money without having to bully people."

"But Tee," Fletcher said, with a smirk. "We can't be bothered selling cupcakes or doing paper rounds. This is much more practical."

"But it's bullying," I persisted.

"Bullying happens. It's life. Get used to it. We're just giving David here-" he pointed to the year seven - "A bit of experience. So he knows what to expect later in life."

"Well, he wouldn't have to learn if there weren't yobbos like you about," I fumed. I don't know, what he was saying was so ridiculous that I just sort of abandoned all attempt at saying anything clever.

"Well, we're here," said Thomas. "Now go away and let us do our work."

"And why would I want to do that?"

"Because it looks like David's not the only person who needs life experience."

"Well, that's true. Hows about I give you some?" I said. I'm not sure why, it just sounded strong.

"You? Since when have you turned into superman? Carmen maybe, but you just twitter behind her and bake cakes. I suggest we both stick to what we're good at." I realised he had a point. And I was surprised at myself, too. But like I said, for me in summer, anything is possible.

"People do change. And I think it's high time I did." I said defiantly.

"Look, I'm not looking for a fight. How about you go back to your orphan friends and buy some more sheep."

That hit me. It always stung when someone referred to me being in care like that. And how did he even know about the sheep thing?"

"I'm not an orphan," I said quietly. "I've got a mum."

"Who doesn't want you." he taunted. I heard Carmen dashing off behind me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, though I was determined now not to take the bait. Not to be like my brother. I realized now that despite what Thomas had said, he was looking for a fight, an easy victory. And there was no way I was giving him that. I'd get him later.

"Even if I was bullying," I said, plotting now. "I wouldn't go for the classic kind. Where's the honour there? I can think of much better."

"Well, who says I can't?" Thomas demanded. Which, seemed at that moment so ridiculous I just wanted to laugh. I mean, he is like the biggest ape ever. So I laughed.

"Let's settle this." Thomas said. "This is war, right? Then we'll see who the idiot is."

My heart pounded in that way it does when I'm either fantasizing about some boy I'm into, or really, really nervous, scared or shocked. But I welcomed the feeling. It was time for change, adventure. Being me. And this seemed to be the first step to getting it.

But at that moment, Johnny ran up, followed by Rick, Carmen, and a bunch of his geeky mates.

"Leave my sister alone!" he fumed at Thomas.

"Johnny!" I shouted. After a rush of relief, all I felt was annoyed. Like I couldn't even handle that ape alone.

"Or what?" Thomas was yelling back. "What is this, reject kids to the rescue?"

My brother grabbed him, and suddenly they were fighting.

"Stop it!" I yelled. Now Carmen, Tyler, Faith and Rick and the others were pulling them apart, and I could sense other kids gathering. I begged them to stop, horrified at what I'd started.

"JOHNNY, LEAVE IT!" I screamed, losing it. My brother stopped for a moment. In that moment, Thomas glanced at me, questioningly, his eyes glinting dangerously. I held his gaze, determined to win this time. And gave the tiniest nod.

Thomas looked back, satisfied, geared up. Then he gave Johnny one last shove, and walked away, Matt close behind.

"Tee, you idiot!" Johnny said angrily when he'd gone.

"ME?!" I demanded. "Why did you have to jump in? I was handling it!"

"Yeah right! It's lucky Carmen went and got me when she did!"

We trudged off, arguing. "You could have helped, Bailey!" Carmen said as we passed him where he'd been standing watching, bouncing a football up and down.

"Well, it's obvious she didn't want everyone to!" Bailey retorted, giving Johnny a look.

"Or you were just scared," Carmen said scornfully. "Where are the teachers when we need them, anyway?"

But I thought about what Bailey had said a few times that day.