Hey Guys, sorry for those of you who got another email for this, I forgot to put the disclaimer: I don't own Twilight nor its characters and all that good stuff...
Chapter One – Let Me In
"Jesus, Bella" I hissed, my own voice betraying me as she straddled me, my fingers itching to just feel.
"You're making a fool of yourself" I tried to dissuade her, turning my head away as she kneeled her face down to mine, as if she repulsed me.
Her hand jerked my head towards her, forcing me to face her.
"I don't believe you" She searched my eyes cupping my face in the process, looking for some indication that she was right.
It made me uncomfortable. She always saw through whatever bullshit I gave off to everybody else.
"Edward" she breathed my name and I swear to god the sound alone was enough to get me excited.
"Please, don't push me away" she pleaded, gently leaning her head against my chest, as if to listen to my heartbeat, slipping her arms under my armpits and onto my back. She pressed her arms together so tightly, I don't think I've ever felt safer in my life.
How can I not love her? I sat there, willing my arms still, clenching them to my sides. The only indulgence I would allow myself was to shut my eyes closed and inhale her scent, intoxicating my being.
I let her hold me.
I didn't break the silence because heck this would be the last time I felt her against me and It felt so damn good.
It wasn't long until I felt a moist tugging on my neck. My eyes shifted sideways in its direction. I groaned as she placed soft kisses then parted her lips and sucked on the flesh; she was playing dirty. She knew what it did to me.
Not sure how much longer my resolve would last before I tore her clothes off, my right hand fisted the back of her head, stopping her movements as she reached her face up to look at me, assessing me. My head inched minimally backwards, the only distance my self-control could muster.
Her hand moves through my hair, pulling back lose strands. It makes its way to my cheek in a caress, always, always tender. I feel so naked, no longer able to hide my desire behind my bangs.
She smiles breathing in, her forehead against mine. "See, how can you look at me like that and tell me you don't want me?" Her eyes wander shyly to my lips, contemplating something, then shift back up to me, determination setting in, her hands firmly on either sides of my face. "Please don't push me away, Edward. I know you don't mean it. I can feel –" she hisses as she bucks her pelvis against my erection. "Whatever it is – " she starts anew after catching a breath.
She leans in and licks the side of my lips. Was I drooling?
I was paralysed. Why couldn't I speak?
"Let me in" she whispers in my ear.
Again, she licks my lips, attending to the other ear, when she was through teasing it. "I'll love you till the day I die." At that, she looked me square in the eye and it did me in. My finger trailed a tear down her cheek, contemplating my next move. How could I deny her?
Begrudgingly, I crushed her to me. Tasting her sweet lips. I'd always joked she was my personal brand of heroin. I'd never been more aware of it than now. Her hands plunge around my neck and play with my hair and it sends shivers down my spine. God, I could swallow her whole.
My tongue explores every inch of her mouth and battles for access when she pulls away, my teeth tugging her bottom lip.
She smiles at me that angelic smile she has, and lifts the hem of her shirt slowly, pulling it over her head, and dropping it to the floor. Heck, it seemed I threw caution out the window long ago so I bury my head in her chest sucking on every inch of exposed skin. Again, I kept telling myself, If only for one last time.
She pushes me back, growing impatient at the layers of clothes between us. I never once take my eyes off her as she pulls at my jacket and slides it down my arms, biting her lip in the process until her eyes turn curious at an object in my front pocket.
`What`s this?" I follow her gaze to a folded paper.
I feel like I've been splashed with a bucket of ice cold water.
She reaches for it but I stand abruptly, pushing her off me, and she falls to the floor.
I've never been so aggressive with her. Her eyes narrow, like she doesn't recognize me, and my facade comes back up again.
Back to reality.
"Edward?" there's a plea in her voice and I ignore it because if I let myself care, she'll see right through me.
I needed to stand my ground firmly.
I turn my back to her. "This changes nothing. We're done" I practically spit out, bile collecting in my throat.
She stands up and runs in front of me. "Edward, please-" she was begging.
"What did I do? Did I do something? What changed? What happened – does it have to do with this letter?"
I feel like a bastard for what I'm about to tell her. "Nothing's changed. Life happened." I condescended.
I could see her fighting the tears. "What does that mean? Edward, I told you, I know something's been bothering you for the last week, but I promise you" she leaned into me, showing me the sincerity of her words "as long as we love each other, we can face anything. Together."
"Christ, Bella"
"One minute we're about to make love and the next, you close off"
"Well, how did you expect me to react? You seduced me. I am a man, I never said I wasn't attracted to you."
She left me no other choice.
"We've been dating since sophomore year, you're suffocating me! We're a month away from graduation and I just need my freedom." Her mouth gaped open and I could see the horror in her eyes. "To see other girls; sow my oats, if you will" I added, twisting the knife in further, grinning like a jerk for effect.
"Edward – " she chokes my name as her eyes well up even more than before.
I could tell she was not fully satisfied with my reason so I cut her off before she probed me further.
I knew her Achilles heal and shamefully, I aimed bellow the belt.
"You just don't bring me the same excitement as you used to, sweetheart."
She stared at me for what seemed like an eternity.
I could hear her heart breaking into a million tiny pieces as she bolts out of my room, bumping into my desk on her way out, the incident making her turn towards me one last time, and I do the one thing i'm sure will make her run the other way.
I wink at her.
The minute my door slams shut, I run to the bathroom as my body attacks me, my lunch coming up into the sink. I feel my own tears trickling down and I look up at my reflection in the mirror.
I transfer all my fury to my fist and yell as I slam it into the mirror, glass penetrating through my skin.
I've never felt pure hatred like I do now.
I wanted to die.
AN: Hey everyone! Thanks so much for reading! I have to say, Twilight has completely taken over my life, its not even funny. Its like I spend every free second I have reading Bedward fanfiction. I started getting all these ideas so I'm putting pen to paper so to speak and ta-da! please please please tell me what you think so far?? There are lots of twists and turns to come. This story is AU. It does not pick up in New Moon. This story is all human. Things to look forward to: Edward is going to become a complete ass to make Bella hate him. But what happens when she turns the tables and decides that two can play that game? And why did he break up with her in the first place?? I'd really love to hear your thoughts, and If i know that people actually like this story, it'll definitely motivate me to write more and faster.
