Chapter 1 – A new kind of life

"I've turned into a monster

A monster, a monster

And it keeps getting stronger"

[Dean]

I opened my eyes. I felt different, powerful. Every smell of my bedroom penetrated in my nose with an intensity it was hard to focus. I felt away from my body like it didn't belong to me. I tried to move and I felt my essence moving across the whole body like taking him to me. I sat on the bed and looked at Crowley who was smiling at me.

-Hello, Dean – He said standing on foot next to the bed where I was.

I dropped the Blade, looked at my hands and saw the dry blood on them. I passed them on my shirt noticing that it was full of blood too.

Metatron's face came to my head and the fight scene slowly took control over my mind… I was a little confused when I remembered my last moments with Sam. "I'm proud of us"; these were my dying words. I died and now I was back.

I got up and was about to leave the bedroom when Crowley stood right from of me.

-Take it easy, Dean. There are a few things you need to know.

-Move, Crowley. Where's Sam? – I asked with a deep and husky voice. I felt stronger than never e as the seconds went passed I was more unstable inside my body.

-Look at me. – He said. I look at him serious and I noticed he was looking me in the eye. I blinked and arched an eyebrow waiting for him to explain himself or to say something. – Not a big deal. It's better to resolve this, all together.

He stepped aside and I left the room. The hallway was dark but I could perfectly see. I could still sense lots of odors, since the dry blood on my shirt, to the rust on the dungeons, to the beer in the kitchen. But most of all, I was able to sense Sam's smell who was on the dungeons.

I was lost. Maybe it was the adrenaline but… I knew something was going on. My audition was stronger too. I could hear Sam like if he was right next to me. I look at Crowley who was following me tranquil but somehow reticent. Everything that was happening was because of him and I was back because I had done something.

I had a feeling that Sam had also done something to bring me back: like selling his soul.

I was on the stares when I heard steps coming in our direction. I stopped. A few seconds later Sam was at the bottom of the stairs looking at me. A tear dropped down his face. I knew I just smile for seeing again my brother, but I didn't. I didn't feel happy to do that. I continued on the same place looking at him until he got closer and hugged me. I felt his heat, his smell, even his thoughts. I stepped back and told him we needed to talk and went back to the main room.

-So, tell me, - I started – what did you offered? – I asked my brother pointing at Crowley with my head.

-Excuse me? – He asked kinda lost.

-Tell me the truth, now! – I asked again with an instant rage taking control of every inch of my body.

Crowley was going to say something but before he got the chance I turned at him telling him to shut up.

-Dean… I didn't offer anything… I… - he tried to talk. I interrupted him.

-Are you going to say he brought me back just because he likes me and has a soft heart? – I was getting even more angry than usual.

-Dean! – Crowley called me.

-Shut up! – I yelled.

Crowley looked at me balancing negatively his head. I looked at Sam who stood in chock looking at me. I started approaching at him but at every step I did forwards, he went two back.

-What did you do to my brother? – He asked with a sick voice while stepping back, possibly to grab a gun.

-Sam… what do… - before I could finish the sentence I saw my reflex in the mirror.

I couldn't believe. It couldn't be true. For a moment, everything around me had stopped, being just me and my reflex in the mirror. I passed my finger through my face, still trying to believe what I was seeing. Was that me? Something demonic? I took a deep breath, trying to get back to normal. I was shaking. I had become my worst enemy, every time I looked at me at the mirror with more rage, scorn, sickness, hate I was. I stepped back, blinking my eyes trying to get them back to normalcy. I looked at Sam who was frozen in the middle of the room and then at Crowley who was still waiting to speak.

-Like I was telling you when you were… taking a nap in there, there's a little story about Cain I might have forgotten to tell you about.

Sam looked at us trying to keep being rational and to understand what was going on. I tried to remember what he was talking about but… I was technically dead, so it was normal to not remember of anything.

-It's in there, Dean. I'm sure you'll remember if you try. – Crowley continued.

I frowned trying to pull out that memory to surface. I looked at the ground trying to focus but the last thing I could remember was falling into Sam's arms. I focused harder and some free phrases popped into my mind. "killer" "the mark never quite let go" "new kind of life" "open your eyes, Dean!". I remembered it.

-The mark… When Cain took his own life, the mark didn't let him go so it brought him back as a demon. The same happened to me after Metatron stabbing me in the chest. – I told them serious as I was stepping back from them. I turned my back at them. I grab the whiskey bottle, dropping some of it into a glass, drinking it in the end. The taste was good. – So, now I'm a demon too. – I completed.

-Oh, don't be such a grumbler. – Crowley commented. – It's not the worst thing on earth! You're still Dean… just a version of him more… - he did a break to think. – Frisky.

-Look, Dean… - Sam said with a shaky voice. You could see he was about to cry. – We will find a way to fix this… Like we always do. You and me, brother. – He was getting close to me and touching me in the shoulder.

I looked at him. I felt nothing… no kind of affection. I just smiled, giving him a false sense of fraternity. I glanced over the bottle of whiskey and decided to drink another one. Sam sat on a chair and cleaned his face with his hands without knowing what to do. Crowley was still at the middle at the room looking at both of us, but mostly at me. I just wanted to know about the whiskey.


[Sam]

My brother was a demon. A demon! I was completely devastated, without a clue about what to do next. I looked at him and I could see Dean but at the same time I felt him distant like if it wasn't him. In some way it wasn't. Liking it or not, demons are distorted versions of a human. I didn't want to hate my brother, because after all, that evil thing in front of me was part of my family. It was my only family. I glanced at Crowley who was still in the same place and I wanted to kill him. This was his fault.

We had everything against us: Metatron was still alive, my brother had turned into a demon and Cas and Gadreel were missing. I was getting worried.

-Does anyone know anything on Cas? – I asked them both. Dean didn't even move.

-No. – He said while drinking another glass of whiskey completely annoyed with the conversation.

-Little birds told me something happened upstairs and someone died. I wasn't able to get more details. – Crowley said while cleaning his long black coat. The room went silent. – Well, I have more important issues to resolve. Don't kill each other. – And disappeared.

I looked at Dean who had gone sitting in a armchair still drinking the glass of whiskey, it was the fifth already, but it didn't seem to me like it was making any difference in him. He realized I was watching him but he didn't show any interest in saying something or to stop drinking. I took a deep breath. I wanted to trust him, but I felt like if he wasn't my brother anymore, like if he wasn't the Dean who raised me all these years. There was something different about him, an emptiness, a darkness it was hard to understand. It was something I never felt in the presence of any other demon. Maybe it was because of him being my brother and I used to feel more connected to him so I could feel the difference. I was with a bad feeling about this.

Dean turned his head to the Hallway with a serious expression on his face. I hear nothing so I didn't care about it. I got up and went to my bedroom. I had a lot of things to think about and more than that I needed to get a way to call Cas down here, I mean, if he was still alive.


[Crowley]

Dean becoming a demon could possibly be the best thing that could ever happen to me. Now with Abaddon dead and with Heaven in a permanent chaos, all the power I could get is out there with no one else to take it. There are a few demons who refuse to rejoin my team and for that I need something to remove them from my worries and that something is Dean Winchester. Of course he won't accept my offer just because so my arrival to his secret home was just to help him through the transaction but also to prepare him and to take a few things I might need to get him to cooperate with me. I disappeared of the main room and ended up on the squirrel's bedroom.

The smell of death and blood was still on there. I looked at the desk and I noticed the family picture Dean and next to the lamp. Nice family, his mom was certainly hot. I laughed when I realized the irony of my thoughts. I passed my hand over the desk and saw the dust; I cleaned my fingers and saw the arsenal he had on the wall.

-And people say I'm addicted. Look at this… - I said to myself.

The reason I was there wasn't to contemplate Dean's bedroom but his addiction. I approached the bed where the Blade was. I admired her and then I grabbed her. I examined her and smiled. It was mine now and if Dean wanted it back he would have to work for me. I kept it in the inside pocket of my coat and before disappearing I left a note in the place where the Blade was before.

[Dean]

Despite being a demon I didn't feel bad with that… just indifferent. I knew I should feel bad, heartbroken, with self-loathing, but I was good. Better than when I was human. I just didn't feel anything: no guilt, pain, solitude, sadness, desperation. And that was making me feel more alive than ever, like the world could be on my hands.

I heard a noise coming from my room and for a minute I hesitated if I should go check it out or not. I wasn't used to have my senses so sharp. To not take any chances I got up and went to my room. When I entered it, I smelled my blood but more than that I smelled Crowley like if had just been there. I stared at my bedroom and instead of seeing my Blade I saw a little note. I took it and started reading it.

"You know where to find me,

Your King."

I crumpled it in my hand and threw it to the floor. I breathed deeply but my anger took control over me. I tuned my back to the bed and punched the desk, cracking it. A photo felt to the floor. I picked it up and noticed it was the pic with my mom. I looked at it with disaffection, opened the closet and grabbed a bag full with some clothes and some other objects I always carry with me. I turned around to see one last time my bedroom and when I left I threw the picture to the trash can.


[Sam]

-Cas, you there? I need you, man… - I called sat on my bed. I looked around and I was alone. – I know that my brother is the one you does this more often, I… Please, things in here are out of control… My brother… – I didn't finish the sentence, a tear fell down my face and I held my breath to keep myself from crying. – I need your help. – I begged running my hands over my forehead to take my hair out of my eyes. I sighed. – You're the only one who's left. If you have the chance to get down here, please do it, I need to talk to you.

I got up; if there was any place full of books about everything that place would be the main room and if I wanted to find a way to get my brother back I needed to start researching. I left the room. The hallway was silent until a heard a noise coming from Dean's bedroom. I was in the main room picking a book when I heard someone behind me.

-I heard you, Sam. I'm sorry. – Cas Lamented.

I turned to look at him and saw the sadness in his face. I got close to him and hugged him. We were never too close but I really needed a hug.

-I thought you were dead, I wasn't sure If I should even try to call you, I was afraid you wouldn't come. How did the things go up there? – I asked worried.

-Metatron was captured, Gadreel is dead… - He told me shaken up. – He sacrificed himself to help me, he died as a hero. – I felt a tone of pain in his voice. – Metatron told me about Dean's death, my condolences. – He lamented looking me in the eyes.

I was about to tell him what was going on but someone spoke first.

-Yeah, about that… - A grave voice said.

Cas recognized the voice, smiled at me and I saw happiness in his eyes before turning at Dean. When he saw him, his happiness turned into desperation. I had forgotten angels could see the true face of a demon. Dean stood still in the same place looking, himself too, at Cas' true form.

-What happened to you? – Cas asked without knowing how to react. You could see he was completely lost. – What did you do? I don't… I don't understand.

-A new life. It seems the marks gives you more perks than some powerful mojo. – Dean said with a deep but secure voice. I think he was actually loving that moment. Cas wasn't able to look at Dean, whose eyes were black since he saw Cas. – Damn, you're definitely … big. – He commented with a mock smile in his face. He should be referring to Cas' true form. He didn't get a response.

I noticed the bag he was carrying on his shoulder. I looked at him, who looked at me with his eyes now normally green.

-Where are you going? – I asked pointing to the bag.

-Out. – he said curtly.

-You're leaving, aren't you? - I asked disappointed.

-So? – he asked once again curtly.

-"So"? Dude, are you going to be like this? Now you're a demon and you're just gonna leave your family, your friends, behind? – I didn't want to lose him. I didn't know what he was capable of.

-Demons don't have family… or friends. – He answered.

-You do have! – Cas argued finally looking at him

-I did have… When I was human. Now I'm alone. I don't need anyone to hold me back. – He affirmed, adjusting the bag on shoulder and turning around moving to the stairs. Cas stopped him, grabbing him by the shoulder.

-Damn it, Dean, we can fix this! – Cas said whit a voice full of agony.

Dean looked at him and removed Cas' hand of his shoulder. He glanced over me and winked. Then he looked again at Cas.

-It's not broken. – He said with a large smile on his face and climbed up the stairs closing the door after him.