Title: Sick Leave
Author: Evil_Little_Dog
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: This is a derivative work, and, as such, I make absolutely no money writing this. Darn the luck.
Summary: The bots think Tony's sick.
"I don't," Tony tried to say when U rolled over to him with the blanket off of the cot in the back room, "need that. Thank you."
U let out a mechanical whine, drooping, but not letting go of the blanket. The bot rolled closer, bobbing the blanket up and down at him.
Tony tried to scowl, but his frown was marred by the sneeze that nearly took out U's camera 'eye'. Dummy perked up – as much as a robot could – at the sound of his sneeze, and grabbed a box of tissues, rolling over. "I don't need that, Dummy!" He considered his runny nose. "No, no, I need that, bring that here. U, no blanket. U! No blanket!" Butterfingers rolled up with an over-the -counter bottle of cold medicine. "No, Butterfingers, I don't need that, ei – ei - " The sneeze splattered the two closest bots. "Either!" He snatched the tissues from Dummy, pulling some out and blowing his nose. "If I need anything else, I'll let you know. I'll let you know!" He waved at the bots. "Shoo. Go clean something."
They all whirled around him like miniature mechanical dervishes instead. Tony growled and flung his arms at them, like they were chickens. "I swear I'm going to turn you all into plant holders!"
Dummy whined.
Tony narrowed his eyes at them all. "I know you're trying to help. I don't need any help! I'm not a baby, and there are other things you can be doing. And you should be – haaachooooo!" Tony sniffed. "Doing!"
They kept coming, offering him a pillow, a bottle of water, a second box of tissues. Tony felt inundated with their offerings. "No! Enough! Go away!"
The bots ignored his words, determined to take care of him. The gifts piled up around him, a mass of things that kept him from moving anywhere.
Which is how Pepper found him a few hours later.
"What happened here?" she asked, folding her arms and tapping her fingers against the bend of her elbow.
"They think I'm sick." Tony coughed, giving her a pitiful look.
"I think you're sick. Don't you have a mask you could be wearing?"
"Oh, that's payback for when I asked you, isn't it?" Tony made a circular motion around his mouth for emphasis. "It is, isn't it? Can you help me? What are you doing?"
What she was doing was taking her phone out, holding it up and taking a picture. And another. And another.
"Pepper!"
"Tony, you're sick. And they're cute when they're taking care of you." Pepper grinned, snapping one more photo. "And it's adorable."
"Is not." Tony pouted, looking down at the pile of gifts, then back up at Pepper. "Okay, it is. Help?"
"I don't know, it's nice to know if I'm not around, someone will take care of you."
"Does this mean you're not going to help me?" Tony reached out as she turned on her toe, walking off. "Pep? Pepper? Please?"
She giggled, opening the door. "Feel better, Tony!"
"Pepper!" he hollered as the door closed. The bots wheeled closer, boxing him in again. "Gah!"
~end~
