The Morning After
Set after the episode 'Lucy'. This is a bit different from other stories I've written. The pair reflect on the events of last night and on their relationship. The first chapter is written from Lucy's point of view, the second from Lee's. I really enjoyed getting into the heads of the characters, and I hope you enjoy reading. Please review.
Lucy's POV
I slowly wake up from my slumber, and try unsuccessfully to stretch to my limbs as I come round. I can't move and that's when I realise I'm not alone. Lee is behind me, his arm is wrapped around me and our legs are entwined. Our bodies are flushed together, and I can feel his warm breath against the back of my neck as he murmurs in his sleep, the soft sounds escaping from his lips making me smile to myself.
I can't quite believe we're here, in my bed, together. I can't quite believe that last night was real, though the ache in my muscles and slight soreness between my legs tells me it was. The soreness is strangely pleasurable though, as I welcome the reminder of last night's exertions.
I sigh when Lee moves a little and I can't help but wriggle back against him, relishing the contact. I'm not sure if I'll ever get used to the feeling of his naked body pressed against mine. It feels wonderful, and completely natural. It sounds cheesy but I'm certain we were made for each other.
I really want Lee to wake up now, so that we can pick up where we left off last night, but he sounds so contented that I can't bring myself to disturb him. Besides, he needs to rest, as to be honest we didn't do a lot of sleeping last night.
I don't understand why Lee always jokes about being bad in bed. I now know that this couldn't be further from the truth. He was amazing…we were amazing together, I'm sure he would agree. Maybe I'm exaggerating but the word that springs to mind is 'revelatory'. I'm blushing now, as my mind starts to wander back to the moment when we finally gave over to our desire.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't dreamt about this, that I hadn't fantasised about being in bed with Lee. I can't pinpoint the moment I fell in love with him, it happened sort of gradually really. I always thought he was cute, maybe not conventionally handsome but very attractive nonetheless. And there's no denying that he's charming (when he wants to be anyway!). He's always been able to make me laugh, and he has a sort of childlike, carefree disposition coupled a naughty, flirtatious side which can be infuriating but it's also irresistible. Being with Lee feels exciting, as I never know what he's going to do next. Yet I trust and feel safe with him. There have been many times when he's done his upmost to protect me, even if it's sometimes backfired. Like the time we thought we were being attacked in the woods during a camping trip, or the time we were stranded at sea, and when he thought I was being mugged at the door of the flat recently.
It took me a long time to realise I was in love though. I think I finally admitted it to myself when Lee was run over by a car and ended up in a coma. It was touch and go for a while and the thought of losing him was utterly heart-breaking and terrifying. The relief I felt when he woke up and was his old self was immense and I told myself then I would never take him for granted again.
I'm not sure what stopped me from telling him how I felt at the time, or what has stopped me since. I was scared I suppose – partly of what my family would think, especially Tim and dad. That still scares me, but we'll deal with it and I know they'll come round to the idea of us once they realise that this isn't going to be some meaningless fling. I know they will both say Lee is not good enough for me but I will defend him, make them see they are mistaken. Lee told me last night that he will do everything in his power to prove them wrong and I believe he will.
Lee would be the first to admit that he's always had a fear of commitment, stemming from him being a first-hand witness to his father's inability to hold down a marriage or be a good dad. Frank hasn't exactly been a good role model to Lee when it comes to relationships. Knowing this was another reason I was reluctant to act on my feelings. I know Lee hasn't exactly had many 'successful' relationships (not that I can talk) and I didn't want to end up another on his list of failures. He meant too much to me to risk that. But most importantly, I was never really sure how he actually felt about me. I knew he probably fancied me, but I needed to know his feelings went beyond that. Lee doesn't often share his feelings though, and can be quite hard to read. I even studied psychology for while last year in the hope that I could get him open up to me.
Despite our constant flirting, and the times when I thought Lee might be on the brink of telling me he had feelings for me, something always held him back. I know I have nagged him a lot, and have been quite disapproving of his behaviour at times. To be fair, sometimes he has deserved it, but at others I know I was just trying to mask my own feelings. Nevertheless, I also I thought I'd given him enough hints, and been receptive at the times he had started to let his guard down. But he never did say the words I wanted to hear, until last night.
So I had started to think that Lee really didn't love me back, and that nothing was ever going to happen between us. As it turns out, maybe like me he was just too scared to make that leap of faith. I think this is why I waited for him to make the first move. I needed him to prove he could make that leap.
In a way I do regret not acting on my feelings. I can't help but feel we've missed out on several years of time together, as a couple. Yet, maybe it was never the right time before. Over the years we've become closer and closer, to the point where I'd say we were best friends. We have come to trust each other completely and so maybe it's a good thing, that we were best friends before we acted on our attraction. I've always thought that's the best foundation for building a relationship.
As good friends as we were, recently I had been finding it harder and harder continuing to live with Lee like this. 'Just good friends' wasn't enough for me anymore. We pretty much did everything together and it was becoming too difficult to be so close to Lee without actually being with him in the way I really wanted. All the time, there were these hidden feelings simmering just below the surface, and I couldn't take the frustration and pain of denying them anymore. So, when an opportunity came up to apply for a job that would mean me leaving my current life behind and spending the majority of my time abroad, I decided to go for it.
It was a decision I wrestled with as the thought of leaving Lee behind broke my heart and I'm not sure how I would have coped with actually saying goodbye to him when the time came, or even if I'd been able to go through with it. But, I couldn't see any other choice. Rightly or wrongly, and it doesn't matter now, I decided that putting distance between us was for the best. If I'm honest, part of me did hope that Lee, realising he was losing me would admit he had feelings for me, but it was a big risk. As it turned out, thank God, it was a risk worth taking.
Yesterday evening, when the interviewer offered me the job I said yes, but immediately started to have second thoughts. She handed me contracts to sign, just like that, and I panicked. I asked her if I could take a breather and come back in a minute. Part of me had wanted the company to turn me down then I wouldn't have to make the decision as to whether or not I should leave, it would be made for me.
So before I turned my life upside down, I realised I had to talk to Lee. In truth, I wanted him to ask me to stay. Simple as that. I returned to the pub next door where I had left him earlier and was relieved to see he was still sitting at the bar. What followed was probably the most difficult conversation we have ever shared. I told him about the job offer and about Naples. I tried to read Lee's thoughts, and although I detected a hint of sadness in his eyes as we talked, as usual he kept his feelings to himself. Resigning myself to the fact it was probably never going to happen between us now, I walked away, tears forming in my eyes. But that was when everything changed…
"Don't go". His words are still so clear in my mind. I took a gulp of air and my heart began to race when I heard him speak. I took a few paces back towards the bar, hoping and praying he was about to say the words I so desperately wanted to hear.
Lee didn't turn around, continuing to face the bar. He spoke again, "I don't want you to go to Naples. I want you to stay here with me. Because I love you".
At that point my stomach did a somersault, and I don't think I have ever felt so happy. I didn't know whether to cry or scream or sing from the rooftops, and in the end I did none of those things, instead I retreated into some kind of daze and I couldn't speak. We stood merely gazing at each other for what felt like an age, and then…
"Will you marry me?". His words were unexpected but literally the best four words I have ever heard in my life. I know I will never forget that moment. Yep, me and Lee are getting married! I keep saying that to myself and it still sounds so strange. A good strange, of course. My heart was bursting with joy when he asked me. My first reaction was to throw myself at him, so I did exactly that. I literally jumped on him, wrapped my arms and legs around him and kissed him with more conviction than I've ever kissed anyone in my life, not caring that we were in a bar full of people. As I clung on to Lee for dear life, we lost balance and toppled to the floor, and he cushioned my landing. It must have hurt him, but he didn't flinch as we continued to kiss with increasing passion, until the need for oxygen finally broke us apart and we realised where we were.
I realise it all happened really quickly in the end. I think we'd both spent so long denying our feelings that as soon as they were said neither of us wanted to hang around. Why waste any more time?
The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur. We celebrated with Toby, Anna and Daisy, and the Champagne flowed. We talked, just the two of us, whenever we got the opportunity. When the others went to bar or were sharing a conversation between themselves. I told Lee I loved him, realising that I hadn't actually said it yet despite accepting his marriage proposal. Neither of us could wipe the smiles off our faces, as deliriously happy as we were.
It came to a point when neither of us wanted to be there anymore. For me it was torturous having to make polite conversation and not be able to touch or kiss Lee when that was really all I wanted to do. We had waited so long to be together, after all. We didn't want to be rude, as we had Toby to thank after all for giving Lee the push he needed to tell me loved me, but we just wanted to go home so that we could be alone. Lee had whispered as such in my ear several times. Noticing we were distracted and somewhat wrapped up in each other, Toby suggested that perhaps it was about time we went home, much to my relief.
When we arrived back at the flat the realisation hit us both that we were now alone and there was no longer anything stopping us from taking the next step, that consummating our relationship was the obvious thing to do next. Neither of us could deny that was what we wanted, but the nerves set in a bit, understandably. This was a big deal for both of us. We talked though, and were completely open about our anxieties, agreeing to leave them, and our inhibitions, at the bedroom door. As it happened as soon as we kissed again, they were immediately forgotten anyway and our need for each other took over.
What followed was completely incredible, in fact mind-blowing sex. Lee was so sweet and gentle when I needed him to be but also just masterful enough when I that's what I needed from him. He made me feel sexy, alive and most importantly, loved. As I lie here patiently waiting for Lee to wake up, I can only hope things will always be this good…
