A/N- I rewrote the next couple of chapters so there is less an Alice and Wonderland theme. I like the idea but it's mainly in the first chapter. I'm taking some liberties with characterization because this is an origins story and I feel like the book and movie were pretty one-dimensional in regard to explanations for faction structure and purpose and individual motivation.
Story Changes:
-Everyone is 18/19 at choosing ceremony because this is an M rated story
- OOC and OC because takes place before first book
-Dark story because it treats Dauntless like an actual soldier class, not like high school adventure camp
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"Little Alice fell
d
o
w
n
the hOle,
bumped her head
and bruised her soul"
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She broke the news over dinner.
A delectable array of pan seared salmon, mango chutney, and fresh spring peas.
It was a celebratory meal.
One that called for the fine china, white wine, and Crème Brule for dessert. The dining room had been wiped down spotless. The lace, white table cloth that adorned the round dining table had been cleaned and pressed. The crystal chandelier above them had been scrubbed so hard it shined. And the heavy, black curtains had been drawn to allow the light of the setting sun to filter into the room and illuminate the interior.
The sparsely visited and rarely inhabited room had been transformed from the breeding ground of cobwebs and dust into a dining hall fit for God himself, as her mother had so brazenly stated.
Everything had been so meticulously placed, polished and positioned it would give the most conservative Amity a heart attack.
But Christina had no appetite.
She used her fork to move the peas across her plate and made geometric shapes out of the mango chutney. She tuned out the small talk between her mother and her sister and instead chose to stare at her plate.
"Are you a child Christina?"
The girl in question looked up at her mother, a blush spreading across her face.
"No."
Her mother glared, her red lips forming a scowl.
"Then don't play with your food."
Christina sighed before forking a piece of salmon into her mouth.
Stephanie, her mother, was as severe as she was beautiful. She was impeccable from head to toe. With her black hair smoothed back into a tight bun. Her smoky eye makeup and blood red lipstick applied effortlessly. And her wrinkle-free white two piece pant suit. She looked ever the part of the lead prosecutor she worked tirelessly to be.
It was never fun being at the receiving end of her mother's fury. Stephanie was a prosecutor every minute of every day and her harsh verbal berating, disappointed scowls, and judging looks were both administered to criminals and her own children. There was no distinction. Her mother was uptight and as rigid as a board. So, it was just like her to throw a fit over a few measly peas.
"Sorry mother." Christina mumbled.
She lowered her eyes in acquiescence and forked another piece of salmon into her mouth, hoping (praying) that it would be enough to please her mother.
But it wasn't.
Was it ever?
Her mother's scowl deepened. She opened her mouth and Christina steeled herself for the usually diatribe about manners, respect, and insolent little girls.
But Rose (her sister, her savior) took pity on her and interrupted.
"Mom give her a break. I think she's just tired. Heaven knows after I took my aptitude test, I wanted to sleep for a week. I could hardly focus on anything. It was like I was in a daze."
Rose ended with a chuckle, and a smile that lit up the room.
Christina turned and mouthed a "thank you" and Rose smirked.
Her sister was a beauty.
If Stephanie was a queen among peasants, then Rose was a goddess among men. Where Stephanie was severe and Christina was child-like, Rose was elegant and refined. Tonight, her long black hair was curled and pinned up in a half ponytail. Her light makeup accentuated her sharp cheekbones, plump lips, and lush lashes. And her form fitting white empire dress highlighted her curves and toned arms. At twenty-five Rose was on track to follow in the footsteps of their father and become a judge in the high court circuit. She was sharp, honest to a fault, and conniving when she needed to be. Rose was the poster child for all that Candor stood for.
And she was the favorite of their parents.
Luckily, a few soothing words from Rose caused her mother to remove her sharp claws from Christina and she was let free.
(Christina really loved her sister.)
Stephanie relaxed her scowl and took a sip of her wine.
"Sit up straight Christina. Your posture is atrocious."
Christina sighed and straightened her back.
They finished their meals just as her father walked into the room. He was still in his court room garb, a simple black robe with white cuff-links, and the weariness on his face spoke of long work hours and difficult court hearings. He moved across the room towards Stephanie and gave her a peck on the cheek. He did the same for his two daughters and then plopped down into his chair with an undignified huff.
Stephanie passed him a plate of Crème Brule and he dug in with relish, making satisfied noises as he spooned the flavorful treat into his mouth.
Just like her dinner, Christina barely touched her desert. Only ate a few spoon fulls to please her mother. But unlike her father, Christina ate slowly trying her best to prolong the inevitable. Because when everyone was finished and the plates had been cleared, the truth would be forced to come out.
However, it was Rose who broke tradition. Not even half way done with her dessert, she opened her mouth and asked the dreaded question.
"So, what faction was chosen for you?"
Blunt. Straight to the point. Like always.
It was forbidden to reveal the results of your aptitude test before the choosing ceremony, but any fool on the street knew that Candors couldn't hold their tongues. They valued truth and honesty above all else. Deception and lying were likened to the most egregious of sins. So when asked what faction they had an aptitude for any Candor would let it slip.
Except Christina apparently.
She tried to speak, but a feeling of dread overcame her so strongly she hesitated.
And Candors don't hesitate.
Her mother cocked an eyebrow and her father put down his fork, a confused look on his face.
"Christina dear, what faction did the test choose for you." He prodded.
Christina bit her lip. Why was she so nervous? It wasn't as if Candors transferring to Dauntless was uncommon. Quite the opposite actually. So why…
"Goodness Christina. Just spit it out already." Her mother barked.
Well. Now or Never.
"Dauntless mother. I was chosen for Dauntless."
The room descended into silence.
It was suffocating.
No, Dauntless transfers weren't uncommon. But in her family they were nonexistent.
Her parents were less than pleased and for the rest of the evening Christina was forced to endure their disappointed stares. They had believed she would stay in Candor. Become a prosecutor like her mother and her mother before her. It wasn't as if they had any faith in her abilities, it was just tradition, the norm. No one in Christina's family had ever left Candor. No one had even received an aptitude for anything but Candor. It was simply expected.
But the test said otherwise. And if anything her parents were firm believers in the test.
No,the test was infallible.
Christina was the mistake.
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"You know you can always stay in Candor right?" Her sister stated. Hands clutching a bottle of wine, sadness in her eyes.
"Yeah," Christina replied, sipping her own glass," but it wouldn't be right. I don't belong here Rose."
Rose laughed, but it was hollow. Lifeless.
"Of course you do, silly girl. Candor's your home. Your life. You were born here, raised here. You are blunt, straightforward and have one of the sharpest tongues I have ever heard."
"Are you saying that the test was wrong?"
"No." sigh."I'm just saying not to sell yourself short. You're better than you think you are."
"At what?"
"Everything."
Christina set her glass down on the coffee table and reclined further into the living room couch.
She was tired. So very tired. Rose had been right, Christina wanted to sleep for a week.
No forever.
Lay her head down on her pillow and succumb to darkness, never to wake. But she couldn't. She had to keep moving. In a few short hours, she would stand in front a crowd, slice her hand with a knife, and bleed.
Where her blood landed would seal her fate.
There would be no going back.
Christina never understood why they made sixteen year olds make such a weighted decision.
"Well whatever you do I'll support you one hundred percent."
Christina hugged her sister right as Rose began to cry. They were horrible, wretched sobs and Christina felt herself tear up as well…
"I don't want you to leave."
But she refused. Took a deep breath and held back her tears.
Christina didn't consider herself particularly brave or fearless.
But the test said she was Dauntless
And Dauntless she would be.
"I'm sorry."
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Later that night, Christina had Rose cut her hair.
There was much moaning and groaning on her sister's part.
Many "your hair is so pretty why are you doing this?" and "You are so going to regret this later" were thrown around as Rose took to the scissors and chopped away years of growth.
But Christina just smiled and endured her sister's mumblings.
When Rose was done, Christina marveled at her new bob.
She looked edgy, dangerous. No longer like a child.
She looked…dare she say Dauntless (that thought had her and Rose giggling for a bit)
Christina hugged her sister one last time before finally retiring to her room.
There were only two hours before she would have to wake up and she would try to use them to the fullest.
Christina laid her head down on her pillow and passed out, exhausted.
She didn't sleep well.
Instead she dreamed of blood and knives and little girls who would never wake up.
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Her name was called.
And Christina watched as her blood dripped through her fingers and sizzled on the hot coals.
It was an out of body experience. Kind of like that acid trip she and her friends had when they were fourteen and dumb and thought she needed to rebel against the system.
Almost, but not quite.
She felt as if she were a spectator in a theater watching a show. An outsider looking in. She didn't feel as if she had any control over her body. Was simply a puppet at the mercy of whoever controlled her strings.
It was a strange feeling. Christina didn't want to experience it again.
She was broken out of her daze when the Dauntless cheered and Christina was led to her new seat.
To her new faction.
To her new life.
Christina sagged into her chair as the weight of her decision finally hit her. She felt like screaming, punching a wall, laughing hysterically until she started to sob. Do something to relieve this dreaded pressure that had built up in her chest. She simultaneously felt like she had just made the best and the worst decision of her life. She would probably never see her family again (Heaven knows her parents wouldn't fraternize with a Dauntless traitor) and she had just turned her back on the faction that had given her life and nurtured it for sixteen years.
Christina closed her eyes and allowed the cheering and clapping to fade into the background. To fade into nothing, but white noise. She took a deep breath (In through your nose. Out through your mouth)
The test said you are Dauntless.
The test in never wrong.
You belong here.
Trust the test.
You are stronger than you think you are.
Believe Christina.
You are Dauntless.
You are Dauntless.
You are Dauntless.
You…
Christina was broken from her thoughts by another round of applause, primarily from Candor. She smiled and only then did she allow herself to relax, to breathe. She should trust the test, but above all else she needed to trust herself. Her sister always told her she had the rationale and foresight to rival any Erudite. And that whatever decision Christina made was for the best. So this decision was the right one.
Christina took another deep breath and ran her hands through her short hair. The nervousness and trepidation that had been gnawing away at her was slowly dissipating and a state of relief had washed over her. She slunk further into her chair and watched the ceremony through hazy, half-lidded eyes.
The choosing ceremony had been progressing steadily for three hours and Christina knew that it would be quite a while before it ended, so she allowed herself to lose focus.
The hall the choosing ceremony took place in was elaborate to say the least. The pristine white stage and oak walls and flooring seemed to sparkle from the mid afternoon sun that fluttered through the wide pane glass windows. And the high ceilings and circular formation gave the room a prestigious, almost medieval flare.
The five white bowls (the guests of honor) stood out upon the stage almost as if they were deities worthy of worship and praise.
Maybe they were Christina thought as she watched an Amity cut her hand and bleed for Abnegation.
Isolated from the uncommon masses, they were mutually revered and loathed; they required offerings of your blood and your home, and even were the hands of fate that determined your future. They were probably the closest things to gods this city had. And no one even realized it. Except maybe the Erudites. It seemed like something they would notice.
Christina shifted in her chair as another Erudite sided with Dauntless.
She found herself drifting off, both from her limited two hours of sleep and from her boredom with the ceremony. Her eyes fluttered close, heavy from sleep and she leaned her head forward resting it on her chest.
Would it be inappropriate to nap in the middle of the ceremony?
Maybe, but Christina found that she didn't care.
However, just before she had reached the brink of the sweet relief of sleep, an audible murmur swept through the crowd, jolting her awake. She was accustomed to the loud clapping, and rowdy cheering, but it was this wave of shock and awe that had her confused. Her eyes frantically searched the room before landing on the source of the unrest.
Christina's eyebrows furrowed.
It was just another boy who had chosen his new faction so why…
Oh.
That's why.
Physically, there was nothing wrong or overly strange about him (sure Christina had to admit he was a little cute) but it was the fact that he was from abnegation...
And headed straight toward Dauntless.
How strange.
Christina didn't know of anyone from Abnegation who had transferred to Dauntless. It was like members from Candor and Amity sitting together over a cup of afternoon tea, having a peaceful conversation.
It just didn't happen.
What an interesting turn of events.
Finally the murmurs were overshadowed by a loud applause from Dauntless and a collective chanting of "stiff".
Christina joined the frenzy and clapped and cheered alongside her faction.
"My faction." She whispered against the din of the crowd.
That felt good to say.
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Suddenly she was running and it was exhilarating.
The ceremony had ended mere minutes ago and already the Dauntless were sprinting out of the building, rushing toward the train.
Christina laughed as she felt the wind whip through her hair and her heart burn as it struggled to pump blood throughout her body. It had been a long time since she had run like this, put any physical strain on her body actually. She had been trained to be an attorney. To sit around in a courtroom all day and occasional walk in front of the stand. Not to run and jump and climb and be free.
Which right now…was exactly how she felt.
Must have had something to do with exercising and endorphins.
The rowdy group of dauntless initiates reached the bottom of the train track and began to scale up the legs.
Christina's eyes widened as she watched them effortlessly and rapidly climb to the top of the railroad. She felt a twinge of fear, but before she could back out her hands had grabbed hold of the trunk and she was ascending.
She had chosen Dauntless. No turning back now.
She was panting heavily by the time she had reached the top. She couldn't even stand up straight, had to bend over and place her hands on her knees. But it seemed like only a matter of seconds before the horn of the train sounded its arrival and people around her began to run forward.
Christina sighed.
No rest for the wicked indeed.
Since the beginning, no faction beside Dauntless was permitted to ride the train, not even Jeanine Matthews herself was granted access. So all her life Christina had marveled at the beauty and ingenuity of this sleek and silver machine from afar. The train had always been this forbidden, enviable piece of transportation. And Christina always wanted what she couldn't have.
But right now as the train approached closer and closer and she watched initiate after initiate leap onto the train like gazelles, her desire turned into fear.
And right now she would be willing to do anything instead of jumping on that train.
But what choice did she have. It wasn't as if she could slink back to Candor, back to her parents and beg for them to take her back. No. She would be factionless. Homeless. Another failure to society who was defeated by her inability to hitch a ride on a train. How embarrassing that would be.
So Christina began to run. Her white coat whipped behind her and her arms legs pumped with renewed fervor.
She had to jump on the train, but it was moving so fast and she knew she was slowing down, getting tired.
She could feel her future slipping right through her fingers.
Until somebody grabbed them.
"Hold on." He shouted as he tightened his grip on her hand and began to run forward, pulling them alongside the train.
He quickly grabbed onto a train handle and pulled both of them up until they landed inside and fell into an undignified pile of tangled, sweaty limbs.
Christina quickly disentangled herself and scooted away until she felt her back hit a wall.
She felt a blush make its way across her face and she coughed into her hand to hide her embarrassment.
The eyes of the other initiates focused on the two sweaty, panting individuals for a minute before they quickly lost interest and moved on to other things.
"Man that was close."
Her savior was still sprawled out on the train floor. His eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply to calm his rapid heartbeat. If it weren't for the steady rise and fall of his chest Christina would have believed he was dead. Because she sure felt like she was.
Christina laugh tiredly. Even if he wasn't wearing a blue coat she could tell he was Erudite by his ragged breathing and the way he flopped on the floor like a dead fish. Almost as if he had just ran throughout the whole city or battled all of Dauntless itself.
Within their faction, Erudite valued brains over brawn. Fitness wasn't a top priority.
So, he was definitely out of shape.
Christina smiled. Guess she wasn't the only one.
"Yeah it was." She replied.
The Erudite (no Erudite transfer) finally stood up before sitting down next to Christina.
"You okay?" He asked.
Christina turned to her left and looked at him. He was still flustered from their mad dash, his face now a pale pink. His blue coat and pants were rumpled and damp with sweat. His gelled-up blonde hair was slightly falling and his bright blue eyes were filled with weariness and trepidation. If he were a little less sweaty and disheveled, he might have actually been cute.
Christina's smile turned coy.
"I am now."
His face turned a shade darker and Christina laughed and lightly punched him in the arm.
"I'm just messing with you. Name's Christina by the way."
She stuck out her hand and he shook it.
"Eric."
Christina removed her hands from his and placed both of them in her lap.
"So you're a long way from Erudite aren't you?"
He gave a slow once-over of her outfit as if it was the first time he was seeing it.
"Same could be said for you, Candor."
" Ah ah ah," Christina replied, shaking her index finger back and forth, " Ex-Candor. Everyone here chose the knife and the hot coals. No more Candor or Erudite or Abnegation. We're all Dauntless now."
Eric closed his eyes for a moment and smiled.
"Yeah I guess we are."
"Everyone get ready!"
Eric and Christina both turned to the source of yell. It was a female Dauntless leader and right before their eyes she backed up and then leaped out of the train. Christina and Eric quickly jumped to their feet and looked outside of the train door.
Right across from them was a rooftop covered in sand and gravel. Dauntless initiates were soaring across the deep chasm and landing in a tuck and role on the top of the building. Christina gasped as she saw a few unlucky souls try to grasp onto the edge of the building only for their fingers to give out. She watched them fall out of sight. She was morbidly fascinated.
But better dead than factionless.
"We just jumped and now they're making us do it again." Eric shook his head in disbelief.
"No one said being Dauntless would be easy."
Christina moved to the back of the train and Eric quickly followed.
"Are you ready?" She asked, breathlessly.
"Yeah."
And then they were running and then flying and suddenly they were falling.
They both came down hard on the rooftop and Christina felt pain explode throughout her right leg. She let out a grunt of pain as she collapsed onto the ground.
She wasn't there for long. A pair of arms wrapped around her waist and hauled her onto her feet.
"Damn you're heavy."
Christina scowled.
"No you're just weak and flabby. Lay off the hamburgers. And didn't your mother teach you not to insult a women's weight."
"Yeah, you can practically see "mind your manners" branded onto my ass." He rolled his eyes.
Eric set Christina down on her feet and she wobbled for a few seconds before standing up straight. She had broken her leg when she was younger, so Christina could tell that right now it probably only suffered from a mild strain.
"You good?"
"Yeah."
They joined the group of initiates that had gathered around at the edge of the roof.
In front of them stood five Dauntless leaders. One stood on the ledge above the rest. He had shaggy black hair that reached his ears and dark, winding tattoos that curved along his neck and forearms. He wore the standard black dauntless uniform, only with a red insignia denoting his role as instructor. However, it was the way he carried himself that distinguished him from the rest. With arms folded across his chest, feet spread apart and chin held up he exuded an aura of strength and experience.
Qualities no one else on this roof top possessed an abundance of.
He cleared his throat and the group descended into silence.
"My name is Amar and I'm your initiation instructor. I was born here, raised here, and three years ago, I passed Dauntless initiation with flying colors and graduated top five of my class. I live and breathe Dauntless. And at any given moment I would lay down my life for it. For sixteen years your loyalty has resided in other factions, but that ends today. This morning you bled for Dauntless and you will bleed for it again and again and again until you love it. Make no mistake my job is not to keep you alive of safe or even healthy. My job is to ensure that only the strongest and most fearless initiates join our ranks. Many of you will die, many of you will become factionless, and only a few of you will truly become Dauntless. Lucky for you guys all of you standing here have passed your first test, now it's time for your second."
He twisted his body to the right and gestured towards the empty space behind him.
"The only way to get into Dauntless is by jumping off this building and free-falling into a hole in the ground. If you are unwilling to jump, then you can take the train to your new cardboard box because you will have failed and you will be factionless. So…any volunteers?"
A nervous murmur spread throughout the crowd and Christina felt fear clench her heart.
"What's with all the jumping?" Eric whispered.
"I don't know. But third time's the charm right?" She replied.
Amar looked at the crowd expectantly, but it seemed like no one…
"I will."
Never mind.
The group distanced themselves from the speaker to reveal that it was the sole Abnegation transfer that had shouted out. He walked through the path that had been cleared from him until he reached the edge of the building.
"So stiff's the only one who has balls huh?"
Amar turned to face the volunteer and placed his hand on his shoulder.
"Jumper number one, the hard part's over. Now all you have to do is fall. Anyone can do that."
The boy took a deep breath, leaned forward, and then blinked from existence.
Amar looked over the ledge for a moment before turning back around, smirk on his face.
"Jumper number one clear. Now who's next?"
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She remembered a book her mother used to read to her as a child.
It was about a little girl who fell down, down ,down a rabbit hole and entered into a world of myths, and magic, and wonder.
Wonderland.
That's what it was called.
Christina had never liked fairy tales.
They were lies weren't they?
But right now as she descended of off the roof into the deep, dark pit, she felt a little like Alice herself.
Into the rabbit hole.
Down, down, down.
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