Disclaimer: I own nothing related to 'Merlin' and I make no profit from this
One More Night
Staring out of the window, Gwen knew she couldn't keep doing it anymore. She and Arthur had been 'together' for some months now, meeting in secret and snatching precious moments here and there but all the while pretending that they had as much in common as a duck had with a cow.
She believed him when he told her that he loved her - she felt the same and she didn't think life could get any happier than when they were with each other. However, not being able to demonstrate their feelings in public was taking its toll on her and it killed her every time Camelot's prince had to show some kind of regard towards yet another noblewoman who his father deemed a possible match for his son.
Arthur swore on Merlin's life that he felt nothing for those women, that it was just a show for Uther's benefit but for the maid it was more than that. There was always the possibility that one of them would indeed become Arthur's princess and that what she had with him was nothing more than a fleeting experience in their young lives. She couldn't go on with so precarious a situation.
Gwen felt her eyes welling up as she contemplated her decision to end her involvement with the prince. She had given her heart and soul to him and they were not things that she gave lightly to anybody. With the death of her father, Gwen had very carefully locked away her deepest, innermost feelings and although she remained the affectionate, kind person she had always been, Gwen had built a high and sturdy wall around her heart. She had been determined to protect herself, to never again be vulnerable to that terrible sense of loss and hurt but she hadn't counted on Arthur Pendragon. With him, she couldn't hide anything and she found that she didn't want to.
Almost without her noticing, he had breached her carefully constructed defences, pulling her walls down piece by piece and when she finally became aware of what he had done, it was too late. Significantly, he had opened parts of himself to her that nobody else had access to.
Now, though, she realised that she could no longer bear it. More and more, Gwen felt like Arthur's 'dirty secret' and one that stood no chance of being redeemed. Arthur could not make the commitment she needed and she could not ask it of him either. She had made arrangements to go to stay with relatives across the border in Alined's kingdom, pleading family illness when she had gone to Morgana for permission to leave.
Her meagre travel bag lay in her house already packed. She would have gone that morning but for one person. Gwen could not leave without seeing him one last time, to have one more night with him.
At their prearranged time, Gwen knocked very softly on Arthur's door which was quickly opened and he reached out to pull her quickly into his room and into his arms. He immediately placed a passionate kiss on her lips and he felt her relax and press against him as her tongue met his in a delicate duel.
When they finally pulled apart, Arthur's eyes were bright. "I've missed you. I hadn't seen you all day," he breathed.
"I missed you too." Her hand lifted to caress his cheek before sliding down his torso and underneath his shirt.
He helped her take off the shirt, enjoying the sensation of her gentle hands running over his chest and stomach. Arthur closed his eyes and let out a sigh as soft kisses were placed wherever her hands had touched. Still with his eyes shut, he allowed himself to be led to the large bed and laid down upon it.
Arthur opened his sapphire eyes which widened further as he watched Gwen slowly and very deliberately undress before him. He felt his heart beating loudly and more quickly. There was something different about his love tonight. She had an intensity about her which was not previously present and her deep brown eyes, which usually displayed her emotions like an open book, had a faintly guarded look about them. It troubled him as he hated to see her anything other than happy and contented. It was something he would have to ask her about later on. For now, she was doing something infinitely more interesting with her mouth and hands and his brain was floating on a cloud of pleasure.
Their love-making lasted long into the night, bodies moving and undulating together. They continued to surprise and delight each other, enjoying how perfectly they fit together both in mind and body. The lovers talked and laughed and Arthur forgot about anything he was supposed to ask Gwen. It would probably come back to him tomorrow when he knew that Gwen would not be working. Morgana had mentioned something earlier about giving her time off but the precise details escaped him.
Eventually, sleep overtook them with Arthur's arms curled snugly around Gwen and their legs entwined.
The bright morning sunshine roused Arthur and he stretched lazily in his warm and comfy bed. His eyes opened when his outstretched arm felt… nothing. Where he expected Gwen to be, there was only an empty space. His brow knitted in a puzzled frown as he tried to clear his sleep-fuzzed brain. The light floral scent of her was still on his pillow, on him. A memory came back to him, he thought it was the memory of a dream.
Gwen watched him sleep for just a bit longer. He was so peaceful, so handsome as a small smile appeared on his face from some sweet dream. She wanted to stay there forever, listening to his deep even breathing and smelling his comforting scent. But she had to leave. She had to go before it was too late, before her heart was broken beyond repair.
She slid out of his embrace, dressing quickly and quietly in the dull light of the pre-dawn. She leaned down to kiss him one last time and she pulled back as she felt his mouth move to respond to her. Slipper-shod feet carried her to the door and she crept out.
The words and her voice drifted back to him.
"Farewell, my love. Forgive me."
