- You don't exist in the world if all you hope for is gone..... Even the ones you love.... Sesshomaru/Rin of how it is the last time where they ever will be together. A two chapter fiction.-

He was there for her always...to hold her close when she needed him the most... her breath placed an icy liquid patch on the thin transparent window glass.

Her fingertips touched the glass as they left clear imprints frosted over soon by the winter chill, a fireplace warmed her as she awaited his return.... he would return for her.

Warmth wouldn't even heat her skin, inside she felt hollow and lost. Ignoring the feelings in her heart that something was wrong, he would return and that was what she held to.

Rin hadn't known she was still sitting there beside the window for days, her eyes transfixed and still to the white frost floating in the sky. " Where are you....Sesshomaru-Sama,"

Finally, she turned to the silent creak of the door sliding on the light marble, tears sparkled in her eyes as the new throne of the Western Lands awaited at the door. " We have found him.... but he isn't to return here,"

Those words caught in Lord Inuyasha's throat, she could see the fear and depression revealed on his demonic face. Rin shook the fear from her thoughts of him dying, staining white pure snow in his own crimson blood.

Her feet touched the ground, she could feel the cold wood numb her toes, without a thought she rushed past Inuyasha in a thin white gown.

Running endlessly without a breath in her beaten cold lungs her feet were numb, snow coveted her hair and white trees surrounded her. How far she went was lost in her mind, all seemed to feel that he was gone from her reach.

I love you Lord Sesshomaru, my love and strength is you....for eternity and until death....

In the distance a still body was covered in an icy grave, her breath came in a thin gray cloud collapsing. Her knees scarred in torn thorny branched falling from dead trees above her. Her whole body felt numb as she crawled wincing with tears slipping from her brown glass eyes.... to finally come to his side.

The demon's eyes were closed and his silver hair lightly moved in the wind, his face pale and comforted in light warmth.

" Wake up.....oh Sesshomaru," Her voice cracked, his eyes opened to her own as they looked into one another after all those times parted. " What happened.... please... we can heal you,"

Sesshomaru lightly had a laugh and shook his head, blood was stained in the snow for more than a day. Being left in the cold to die in the misery of being so cruel, when all he ever disapproved was the darkness of the world being lived in.

She held him in her arms, for so long she had grown to finally be old enough to understand love.... Her love was there....but couldn't stay long and died in her thin colorless arms.

Hold onto me love

You know I can't stay long

Tears fell on his wonderful glistening hair, brushing snow to find life reaching in the white death. To see Tensaiga shattered in the snow glinting with sharp edges to the gray skies.

"I love you....," His hand took hold of her own, she gasped with still tears seeing his grin on those lips, " I have never..... been afraid..... of death," Gasping he coughed slight blood but the stains on her garments wouldn't end this moment....

All I wanted to say was I love you

And I'm not afraid...

Can you hear me

Can you feel me in your arms?

He spoke words in a whisper she couldn't make out, those words she wished to hear him speak with that smooth pure voice. Rin felt her arms stiff, his body was so light she felt as if her hands grasped around nothing but air.

' Don't die one me, never will I feel you gone, I want to hold you near, with me...' Holding him so dearly he closed his lips, not a sound broke through the sheet of silence. Life shining in those eyes seemed to dim with his chest lightly taking in air, but his lips wouldn't move to breath.

"Hold on.... I can save you..." Sesshomaru's hand slipped in her own but to soon release, his eyelids fluttered to see the white around him. The land seemed so peaceful and harmless, now a dank cold land to die in as life would open their eyes when he would not.

Holding my last breath

Deep inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

I miss the winter

a world of fragile things

" I won't.....see life and the light of spring anymore...with you," His words hit her as cold water would in a cold iced lake. Spring was the season they met....where he lied there so peaceful and calm as he was now....

" I will be there....always....at the white tree...I lay under," His voice was soft and light, not one breath would elapse and make his lungs take in the breath of his own ending. "I will be there....right where you came....for me,"

look for me in the white forest

hiding in a hollow tree -come find me-

Sesshomaru felt himself in the white frost, he could see Rin looking in on him with tears in her eyes as she slowly closed the doors. He cried out the name he only loved, hearing her cry of regret and tears when the wooden doors closed before him..... the fire in the home faded in the breeze....his light... gone...

Rin whispered in his pointed ear, " We will be there together.... in the fields," Lies came through her words, even he could taste the lies she spoke of, the words he spoke she talked over as nonsense...thrown aside...

I know you can hear me

I can taste it in your tears

He gasped feeling life seep from his heart and veins, his pulse seemed to be faint and dim. Letting go of that ounce of breath would lead to the end.....it would never come... never would it.

" Promise me.... you'll find me," She nodded knowing the truth, he was to die, but held back just to spend that time...together...

"Please... I don't want you to suffer here," Rin stabbed at those words breaking through the silence, "Let go," Warm tears fell from her eyes finally. She would let go of this hold she kept to him, Sesshomaru wouldn't suffer...though her arms wouldn't release.

holding my last breath

safe inside myself

are all my thoughts of you

sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

She closed her eyes telling herself in choked tears and a faltering voice he was to live, his body shook in her arms and she could feel the cold blood on her white gown.... how she wished this was only a dream where she would awake in the room beside a warm fire.

"Please....Kami let him live...to see another day... Gomen," Opening her eyes she saw that the only living creature for leagues beyond her sight was herself. What she held was a demon holding...holding onto his life so dear in this terrain.....

She found herself alone, no one was there to have the chill and pain go away..... to release herself from this pain as well....

closing your eyes to disappear

you pray your dreams will leave you here

but still you wake and know the truth

no one's there

Not once had he blinked, his eyes began to close but she lightly shook his body, he would open those golden eyes filled with darkness and expressionless to her eyes.... please... not this...

"I'll never let you be alone..." With those words spoken he grinned touching her face with those frozen fingertips. " Goodnight.... my koi.," Sesshomaru's hand slowly came to his side.... with his mouth opening he let in a breath.....

One last breath.... and then... he mouthed her name... tears rolled down his eyes freely...

say goodnight

don't be afraid

calling me calling me as you fade to black

His soul had left him.... only lights were in the distance...silent calls of her name....

There she stood before the tree, her rose in hand wilted curling with black ash tips, her gown in his blood she kneeled where he lay. Placing the dying flower on the bark she leaned against the tree, feeling his secure arms in a embrace....

He awaited her.... in the white tree...forever he would stay...and never leave her side...

look for me in the white forest

hiding in a hollow tree -come find me-

- The end of the chapter.... please tell me of how you feel of this fiction, though I wish for no flames, I'm a Sesshomaru lover but decided to use him in this song. Thanks-

Words:

Kami-God

Koi-Love

Gomen-Sorry

............TBC