Okay, here it is, my first story in English. English is actually my third language so be kind to me. Please tell me if you find any grammar errors or other mistakes. I've written a lot but it has all been in Finnish. I'm quite happy about this story, though it was harder to make. Please please please tell me what you liked it and review! On with the story…
Starry night
It really was a beautiful night. Everything was calm and peaceful. Stars on the night sky looked like diamonds on a black velvet. Wind was blowing softly. It made the trees move lazily and made their leaves make a sweet sound, like quiet whispering. Moon shone above earth looking cold and so very beautiful. The flowers on the ground seemed to suck the moon's light so that they too were glimmering.
Yes, the scene sure was beautiful. But it wasn't only that. Everything looked strangely cold and unmoving, like a picture, and it was all so very…lonely.
At least that was what a certain monk was thinking while standing on a cliff and admiring the spectacular view. It reminded him of someone. It was someone he would not have liked to think about but that seemed to be impossible. His thoughts had wandered to that person constantly for the past few weeks and it made him nearly insane. He wanted to forget. He wanted to forget the silvery hair that shone like that cold moon on the sky and the pair of golden eyes that looked like they could see right into your very soul and those soft looking lips and deep, rich voice that constantly echoed in his ears and…
Miroku inwardly slapped himself. What the hell was he thinking? Again! When would it stop? Why hasn't it already stopped? It was getting on his nerves, and sexuality. He hadn't groped Sango for ages, for god's sake! Why was he constantly thinking of someone else, when he had a strong, sexy woman right in front of him? Especially when that other one happened to be a man! And a blood thirsty demon. And his best friend's older brother. And he hated all human beings. And he was so damn hot and…
NO! Not that line of thought! Miroku slapped himself again, this time physically. It helped a little. But honestly the truth was that he just couldn't stop thinking about Sesshoumaru. No matter how hard he tried. Dear god, hadn't he tried! Problem was that everything, every little thing, reminded him of him. It really didn't help him that he was travelling with Inuyasha. No, it didn't help at all. Actually it was tormenting. One night he had found himself comparing Inuyasha's body to Sesshoumaru's. It had scared the hell out of him. And his thoughts had been so intense that he had needed a cold bath.
This night wasn't any better. He couldn't stand it anymore. The proud youkai lord was everywhere, he couldn't get away. He hated it! He hated the stupid demon and his stupid face and voice and everything he was!
Miroku fell to his knees. He buried his face to his hands and sighed. Who was he kidding? He was totally smitten by the angelic youkai. His mind was filled with him. His heart started to race just by hearing, or thinking, his name. And he wanted him. Not just watch, but to touch. He wanted so badly to touch Sesshoumaru's skin, he wanted to taste it, feel it, have it, and have HIM. He wanted to touch that shiny silvery hair and feel how it slides trough his fingers like thousand silken strands. He wanted to expose that toned body that was hiding under the armor. He wanted to know how those soft looking lips tasted.
And now he needed a cold bath. Again.
Miroku sighed and stood up. He gave the scenery one final, and a little longing, look and left to find a place to bath. He remembered Kagome saying something about a small mountain lake she had found in the forest. Kagome wanted to bath all the time. Miroku didn't quite get it. She had to bath every day, even if the water was ice-cold. Though, of course, Miroku never opposed the idea of a naked woman. Kagome and Sango looked absolutely lovely when they were shivering in icy water. Hmm… What would Sesshoumaru look like? Miroku shook his head. The image that rose to his head was way too distracting.
After wandering around for some time he found the lake Kagome had been talking about. It was pretty little lake. Water was strangely gloving in the moonlight. It reminded him of certain person's hair. Miroku grit his teeth and took of his clothes. He jumped in the water and gasped. It was freezing, and exactly what he needed.
Miroku looked to the sky. Stars were so beautiful. The whole world was beautiful and full of wonderful things but still Miroku's thoughts grew darker and darker.
He was in love. He was madly in love and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Why did it have to be like this? Why, out of all people, it had to be Sesshoumaru? It wasn't fair! He had fallen in love with a person that most certainly wouldn't ever love him back.
This love was forbidden. Human monk can't fall in love with a youkai lord. It just doesn't work that way. It can't be like that! Especially if that lord happens to be your friend's evil brother, love like that isn't allowed. And let's not forget that that person despises human beings and is a MALE.
Miroku put his robes back on and sat down to the ground. After a while he lay down and watched the moon and stars with tears in his eyes. He really was miserable. Loving someone you can never have does that to a person. He couldn't even talk to anybody! No-one would understand. Everyone that knew Sesshoumaru thought him to be coldhearted and murderous killer. And in a way they were right.
Miroku didn't think that that was the whole truth thought. He had seen him to be something more. Sesshoumaru was capable of loving someone. He had shown such kindness to the little girl who was travelling with him that it made Miroku's heart ache. Not to mention that Miroku was certain that Sesshoumaru didn't really want to kill his little brother. With Sesshoumaru's power he could have disposed Inuyasha with one swing of a hand but he didn't. Actually their fights looked more like…well…not like real fighting at least. Maybe Sesshoumaru didn't make up with Inuyasha just because he thought he would betray his own mother by doing so. It did kind of make sense.
Oh, and most importantly, Sesshoumaru was absolutely the sexiest and most beautiful creature he had ever seen. That gave him a lot of points in Miroku's eyes. Unfortunately…
Miroku sighed. He did that a lot nowadays. But he couldn't help it; he was trapped after all, trapped in this forbidden love of his. He wanted to see his loved one so badly it hurt. It was getting harder and harder to hide his thoughts. Last time Sesshoumaru had showed up he had barely contained his overly happy smile and after that his heart breaking, sad face when he realized that he wasn't the reason Sesshoumaru had come.
How long could he go on like this? Love was supposed to be a wonderful thing. It was supposed to fill you with happiness, wasn't it?
Miroku wiped away a tear that was running down his face. He couldn't go on anymore. Not like this. He had to forget, he just had to, before this horrible, sweet love would eat him up inside. Before it would destroy him. He had to forget.
--
--
Sesshoumaru was staring at the moon. He hated it. It looked too cold. He hated it because it made the nights look so lonely. Night after night he would be standing there on the ground and the moon would appear on the night sky and glowing coldly in a mocking way saying: "Ha! There you are again, alone as usual." Sesshoumaru hated the moon.
Sesshoumaru frowned. The pain in his chest was getting unbearable. His heart ached and all because of some stupid human monk. Why had he, the great lord of the western lands, fallen in love with a human. A MALE human! It was unheard of. Intolerable!
But he couldn't help it. Miroku's deep brown eyes were so beautiful and something about him so soothing and yet strong that he couldn't stop thinking about him.
He wanted to devour the monk. He wanted to make him scream under his touch. Yes, he wanted to touch that body under those dark robes and see how that pair of brown eyes become filled with lust. He wanted to know what he tastes like. Those wonderful lips and every other part of him, he wanted it all.
Despite of his heated thoughts he was still as composed as ever. He was someone who had learned to control himself so that his weaknesses would stay unnoticed by others.
Unfortunately his thoughts were more than obvious to himself. He couldn't stand it, this weakness of his. He couldn't help thinking that he was just like his father, weak against one mortal, and he knew that he too would protect his human if it were to come to that. He had already proven that to himself with the little girl, Rin. He had come to love that girl. Rin needed him and it made him strangely warm inside. It felt like he wasn't so lonely anymore, he was needed.
Then again, if he hadn't met Rin, he most certainly had never taken notice of the human monk. Like meeting the girl had somehow opened his eyes. He wasn't sure he liked it…
That warm feeling, he was quite sure it was called love, was actually quite a nice feeling, at least he didn't HATE it. But then was that feeling he had with the monk, Miroku. It was something he didn't quite understand. It wasn't nice, it was painful.
And Sesshoumaru wasn't stupid. He knew very well that his love to that monk, yes, it was love, was totally doomed. The monk was, well, a monk. His job was to destroy youkais. That didn't put Sesshoumaru in a very good light… Besides, he was Inuyasha's companion. Sesshoumaru could only imagine what Inuyasha would do to him if he were to claim the monk to himself. Then he would really have to fight against Inuyasha and he really didn't want to do that anymore. His hate towards his brother had stopped long ago.
But still, he couldn't just go and apologize, could he? He didn't do that. He didn't even want to be on good terms with his idiotic brother. He still wanted to be the one that kills him. That way no-one else would do that.
Sesshoumaru's biggest problem at the moment was that he had never been in love before. He really didn't know what he should do. What does a person in love actually DO? He didn't know the answer. He wandered if anyone did. Not to mention that his situation wasn't actually something one would call usual.
Most importantly, it wasn't good for a human to associate with a demon. Now that Rin was already travelling with him he found himself unable to leave her behind. What he should do is to leave the girl to some nice human village but that was totally impossible. And Sesshoumaru knew that it would be even worse with the monk.
It seemed, Sesshoumaru thought with aching heart, that the very best thing he could do, is just to let it be. He should forget the monk. Forget his existence. It shouldn't be that difficult, the monk was just a human after all.
Actually he had thought about this many times already. But somehow he always ended up going to his brother's camp just so he could steal even a smallest glance of the monk. It really was pathetic of him.
Sesshoumaru turned his eyes to the ground. No, he couldn't go on like this. He couldn't be weak like this. He had to close up his heart, just like so many times before. It wouldn't make any difference. He was already cold and just a memory of what he used to be before he started to protect himself over this. One would think one would learn something over the years but no, that never happens. No-one never learns.
Sesshoumaru turned around and walked away. He didn't look back.
Liked it? Hated it? Please tell me.
Yours truly, Valtiatar
P.S. There are a few people who have asked me to write a second part to this, but I'm not really a very nice person so if you don't REVIEW I'n gonna leave it as it is and you are gonna leave there hanging. HA!
Okay, so please review. I'm begging here and I absolutely HATE whinig and these long author notes so don't make me do this, please. REVIEW!!
