Disclaimer: I do not own the rights Hogan's Heroes or any of its characters.

This is my first trip into the Hogan's Heroes fandom. Hello. This story was originally supposed to be a short one shot but somehow turned into a multi-chapter.

Chapter 1:

Accidents Happen Accidentally

If there was one thing Hogan and his heroes could always count on, it was Sergeant Schultz. Schultz was the enemy, a German officer, but he was almost one of them. The man was easy to trick but even more than that it was easy to trip his soft side. He was a teddy bear of a man that in most times cared for Hogan and his men more than his fellow officers. The heroes were lucky to have gotten such a man as their guard. He would never hurt them… not on purpose.

Corporal Newkirk, resident pickpocket, spotted the loveable guard crossing the compound his rifle on his shoulder. "Oye! Schultzy!"

The German Sergeant raised an eyebrow but marched over in his direction. "What is it?" Sergeant Carter stifled a smile from his spot next to Newkirk.

"Just wanted to say 'ello Schultzy. You're looking good today." Newkirk patted a hand on his stomach. "Are you losing weight?"

Schultz smiled and relaxed, dropping his gun to his side. "Actually, I have been trying to watch what I eat. Thank you for noticing Newkirk."

"Of course." The Englishman smiled. "What are friends for?"

"We are… friends?" Schultz questioned.

"Course we are mate. Isn't that right Carter?"

The American nodded. "Best friends Schultz." The German smiled. "And do you know what best friends do for each other?"

Schultz leaned in closer. "What?"

"They tell each other secrets."

"Like where Colonel Klink is having you take that load of ammo this afternoon." Newkirk added, pointing at the truck parked by the gates.

The robust Sergeant stumbled back. "Oh no-no-no!" He cried. "You are only trying to get information out of me. And I will not have it! Absolutely not!"

"Oh come on Schultzy." Newkirk said, throwing his arm around the man's shoulder. "We're friends, mates. We're just worried about you. We want to make sure you're not going anywhere dangerous."

Schultz relaxed again. "Really? You're worried about me?"

"Yeah." Carter nodded. "We don't want you getting hurt."

"That is so nice." He straightened suddenly and slapped his rifle back on his shoulder. "But I cannot tell you. Now back to work, the both of you."

The two prisoners sighed and went back to cleaning the barrack windows as they had been ordered. Schultz marched away and the window they were working on opened. "Get anything out of him?" Hogan questioned, leaning out the window.

"He wouldn't tell us." Carter said with a pout.

Hogan shook his head. "It's like he doesn't trust us or something."

"Maybe with good reason." Newkirk smirked and pulled a slip of paper out of his sleeve, handing it to his commanding officer. "Schultz's orders. Pinched it off him in case he didn't spill."

Hogan smiled. "Good job Newkirk, I'll give this to Kinch and have him radio the information to London." He started to close the window but stopped. "Oh, and you missed a spot." He added with a smirk before slamming it shut.

Newkirk rolled his eyes as Carter buffed out the smudge. "Everyone's a critic."

"Roll call!" Schultz yelled later that night. "Roll call, everybody out! Out! Out!"

"Out, Out, Out!" Corporal LeBeau mocked as he took his spot next to Newkirk. The little Frenchman wrapped his arms tighter around his body. "You should really come up with something new." It was their job to stall the German while Hogan and Sergeant Kinch sabotaged the ammo truck to make sure it would stop at an intended location, where it would be taken by force and unloaded by fellow underground agents.

"He's right." Newkirk said with a nod. "It's awfully harsh, you could be a little nicer."

"Niiicer?" Schultz whined. "But I am a German Sergeant, I cannot be nice."

"And why not?" Carter asked. "Don't we always do what you tell us to?"

Schultz straightened. "No you do not, you are always giving me trouble."

"Only because we care." Newkirk smirked.

The plump guard rolled his eyes before the lack of prisoners suddenly occurred to him. "Wait just a minute." He lowered his voice and moved closer to Newkirk. "Wheeere is Hogan and Sergeant Kinch?"

Newkirk pretended to give the question some thought. "I'm sorry who?"

"Hogan and Kinchloe!" He roared before checking behind him to make sure Colonel Klink hadn't come out of his office yet. "Where are they?"

Newkirk saw two shadows run behind the barracks, Hogan and Kinch, he had to get Schultz's attention turned so they could fall in line. It wasn't a problem, he had done it a million times before. "Oh! Hogan and Kinch, of course, how stupid of me. I think I saw them off that way." He pointed a finger in the opposite direction and Schultz followed it. "I'll just go get them and you can count to your heart's content."

He stepped forward but Schultz stopped him, placing his rifle in the way. "I don't think so! Just tell me where and I'll go get them."

"Oh, it's really no problem Schultzy, you're a busy man. I'll just go and-" He pushed past Schultz but the man just wouldn't turn around. He backed up with Newkirk's movements and pushed his gun in between them again.

"Stop it!" The German yelled, "You are up to somethiiing!"

"Who? Me? I would never, I just want to help you out. They were just over there." Finally, Newkirk got fed up, he grabbed Schultz by the shoulders and spun him around so his back was facing the barracks.

Newkirk smiled as Hogan and Kinch started to round the side of the barrack, they were just about to slip in undetected when Schultz started to push him back into the line. "No you are not! You are trying to distract me but I am too clever. Now back in line! Back!"

He started to turn but Newkirk grabbed him again. "You are being difficult Schultzy, I just-"

"That is enough Newkirk!" He cried, growing irritated, he shoved his rifle between them and pushed him back to the line.

"Come on mate, I'm telling you-"

"Now I am the guard and you are the prisoner!" He snapped, pointing at Newkirk with the end of the rifle. They both knew it wasn't loaded so neither thought much of it but Newkirk put his hands up and took a few steps back anyway. "Now back to your spot! Back! Back!"

The entire line of prisoners and guards jumped in surprise when the gun went off with a loud bang. Schultz's face fell into silent horror in realization at what had just happened but Newkirk had a few choice words to say. "Blimey!" He yelled after a string of curses. "You coulda' killed me Schultz!" He shouted.

"I am so sorry Newkirk." The German whined. "It was an accident, I would never-"

"What's the big idea Schultz?" Hogan snapped as if he had been standing there the whole time. "Newkirk was just trying to help."

"I knooow." He whined, forgetting completely what it was that Newkirk was helping him with. "It was an accident I- I'm sorry."

"Gee Schultz." Carter chimed in.

LeBeau shook his head. "How could you be so thoughtless Schultz?"

Newkirk grinned, just happy their mission had been accomplished. But as the whole shock of the situation started to wear off, the Englishman started to notice a pinch of pain rising up from his abdomen. Schultz continued to whine his apologies as the others berated him but it was all drowned out when Newkirk stated to have trouble taking in air.

"What was the meaning of that gunfire?" Klink roared as he came out of his office in a hurry. "Who fired?"

Schultz snapped to attention. "It was me Herr Kommandant. It was just an accident."

"Accident!" Klink roared. "An accident! How could you fire your weapon on accident? Dummkopf!"

Newkirk pulled at his overcoat, loosening it and reaching a hand inside. "Sir?" He whispered in Hogan's direction. "Colonel Hogan…"

Hogan pulled his attention away from the scene before them, to which he was clearly amused. "What is it Newkirk? You did a good job distracting."

"Thank you sir but… I don't feel so well." His hand brushed over his side and he felt his uniform growing warm and wet. "Sir… I think I…"

"Newkirk?" His legs seemed to fall out from under him but luckily Hogan moved quickly to catch him.

The Englishman pulled his hand out from his coat, fingers covered in blood. He heard LeBeau let out a squeak and turn away. Hogan moved both of them to the ground, propping Newkirk up against his chest. He tore at his overcoat and pushed it away, revealing the gunshot wound soaking his blue uniform in red. "Klink!" Hogan cried. "Klink, Newkirk's been shot!"

The angry Colonel turned from berating his Sergeant. "What do you mean-" He cut himself off with a strange guttural noise when his eyes landed on Newkirk. "What? B-but how?"

"I-I-I…" Schultz stuttered. "I shot him?" He looked blankly at his weapon. "But… but I never keep it loaded. I must have… I must have grabbed the wrong gun from somewhere." The befuddled German's face turned to a mask of instant regret and remorse. "I am so sorry Newkirk, I didn't mean… I…"

"Don't worry about that now Schultz!" Hogan snapped. "Go call for an ambulance." When the Sergeant didn't move he grew angry. "Now Schultz! Now!"

Schultz snapped into action and took off across the compound in a hurried putter. "Klink, get something to soak up the blood." Hogan ordered, watching his Corporal's face grow paler by the second.

Klink shook his fist. "Hogan you cannot tell me what to do, I am the Commander of this-"

"Now Klink!" Hogan snapped again.

The Colonel startled and quickly ordered his guards to find bandages and towels. "Colonel, what can we do?" Carter asked in a small and helpless voice.

"Carter, take Newkirk and press down on his wound, he's bleeding to fast, we have to slow it." The Colonel passed him off to the young American and he did as he was told. They all flinched when Newkirk let out a cry of pain at the pressure. Carter let off a bit, afraid he was hurting his friend. "No Carter! Keep pressing down hard or it won't slow the bleeding."

"Okay Colonel." Carter said weakly. "Sorry buddy." He said before pushing his hand into Newkirk's side and making him cry out again.

Hogan nodded in approval before turning to his radioman. "Kinch, go get Klink's car and bring it around, the ambulance isn't going to get here fast enough." The American nodded and took off into the dark. "LeBeau." Hogan snapped.

"Yes Colonel." The Frenchman showed he was paying attention but wouldn't look in their direction. "What can I do?"

"Just… don't pass out."

LeBeau's body deflated. He wanted to help and hated feeling useless. "Yes sir." His eyes darted very briefly toward Newkirk. "Is… he okay?"

Newkirk would have laughed if it didn't hurt so badly. "I'm alright little mate." He managed to cough out.

Schultz came wobbling back. "The ambulance is on its way." He panted, out of breath.

"Forget the ambulance, it'll take too long." Hogan growled.

"But what are we going to do?" He whined. "Newkirk, he is bleeding."

"Of course he's bleeding! You shot him Schultz!" The German guard seemed to shrink down under the accusation. His whole being slouched and vanished.

Klink returned with a guard carrying a mountain of towels. "Here we are Hogan, just as you asked for."

"Good." He grabbed a handful and knelt next to Newkirk. He lay them on ground and pulled out a knife to cut through the Englishman's clothes.

Klink gasped. "You are not supposed to have that weapon Hooogan!" He cried.

"Can it Klink!" He pushed back Newkirk's jacket and cut away his sweater and undershirt. "Now ease up just a little Carter, so I can get the towel in. Carter did as he was told and they could finally see the extent of the wound. The bullet had entered just above Newkirk's hipbone on his right side. The hole was bubbling with blood so he didn't have time to address it any further, he layered the towels over it and moved Carter's hands back to push down. Newkirk took in a sharp breath of air and let it out in a whimper. Carter apologized again.

Kinch arrived, driving the German Commander's car. Klink gasped in horror. "What is that prisoner doing?"

"The ambulance will take too long Klink." Hogan explained, barely paying the Colonel any mind. "He needs to get to the hospital now." Kinch stepped out and waited for further instruction.

"But how did he get my car started?" Klink stuttered. "I have the only key." Hogan only answered that with a roll of his eyes. "No!" The German snapped. "He can wait for the ambulance."

A rash of anger none of the prisoners or guards had ever seen before suddenly fell over the American Colonel and unleashed itself. "This man was shot by one of your own guards when he was doing nothing wrong!" Hogan roared, rushing towards Klink with reckless abandon. He shoved a finger in his face, wet and dripping with blood. "He will be taking your car to the hospital or so help me Klink I will make sure you pay for whatever happens to him until my last fighting breath!"

The Kommandant stood in a state of shock, staring at the blood on Hogan's hands. "A-alright, fine. But I'm not letting you go alone."

Schultz suddenly reappeared from his sulking and snapped to attention. "I will take them Colonel!"

Klink gave a single nod. "You are not to let them out of your sight, do you understand?"

"Yes Herr Kommandant. Of course, Herr Kommandant."

"Good now that that's settled." Hogan grumbled. "Help me get him in the car. Gently." Kinch moved to Newkirk's side and the big American moved his arms under his back and legs. "Carter, keep pressure on the wound." Hogan ordered. "LeBeau, get the door open. Schultz, get that car started."

"Yes sir." They all cried, even the German guard.

Kinch lifted Newkirk off the ground as carefully as he could but still the Englishman whimpered in pain. Carter did as he was told and kept his hands on Newkirk's stomach as they moved him to the car. LeBeau held the door open with one hand and kept his eyes covered with the other. The car roared to life. Hogan climbed in first and took Newkirk into his lap when Kinch handed him in. Carter climbed in last, still keeping a tight hold. He reached out for more towels to replace the ones that had soaked through. Kinch handed them over and leaned his head in, "LeBeau and I will come later, I'm sure we can talk ol' Klink into it." His eyes fell on Newkirk. "Get better buddy." He smiled and shut the door.

"Get going Schultz." Hogan ordered harshly. The car sped forward on command, jostling all the passengers. Newkirk let out a gasp of pain. "Easy Schultz!"

"S-sorry Colonel. I did not mean-"

"Just drive!"

"Y-yes sir. Sorry."

The ride was a little bumpier than Newkirk would have wanted. Every dip in the road jostled the car and moved either himself or Carter's hands. Carter did his best to keep his grip steady but it was easier said than done. Each time a white hot pain like a fire poker being stabbed through his gut radiated up from his side and spread out through his entire body. It was almost too much to bare. But Schultz did manage to make good time. They arrived at the hospital in half the time it should have taken.

The portly German guard hopped out of the car and fetched a couple of nurses and a stretcher, he told them the situation and they were ready as soon as they got back to the car. Carter and Hogan lifted Newkirk out and onto the stretcher and let the nurses take over. A doctor joined them and they rolled him away, leaving his friends behind.

To Be Continued