So, new day, new story. This is my first attempt on Twilight Fanfic. I should tell you that i've already written the whole story and i will post chapters on a weekly basis. It is 6 chapter long and if i want, i may later add an epilogue to it. For now, read knowing that it is a complete story.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. This book and it's every character is Stephanie Meyer's property.

Hope you guys enjoy!


This day had been as good as any that I experienced nowadays. I woke up from that nightmare that hadn't left me still. Even after I had confessed that yes I love Jacob Black enough to be with him. The ragged hole in my chest hadn't healed yet. It was the same shape and size that it was before. But I had controlled the pain somewhat; I focused on the love that Jake showered me with every day. How much he loves me, how can I show him the pain I go through still when he try so hard to make me forget that. And I try too, to forget him. To forget the family that I had dreamed of being a part of. But it was now a mere dream. The reality was Jacob and our somewhat new but very comfortable love. It was a different kind of love too. In this relationship I don't have to be afraid, I don't have to think that he is too perfect to be with me. He was just Jacob. A normal guy except for the werewolf part. The reason that I smile and laugh even after I have broken heart from inside but it was healing, in a really slow pace but it was healing. I have come to the terms that Jake is my love and life now. There was hesitancy in me still. We kissed but I couldn't do anything more. My body always protested against the action that would lead to anything of that sort but he understood my problem and didn't blame me. He said that we will be able to pass that obstacle too. He had been patient with me before when I had said to him that I couldn't be with him and his determination in the end proved fruitful. He had every hope that this time too, I will let him in someday.

I was ready for the day ahead. I would go to school and after that, I and Jake made plans to go to a movie. We had planned to meet in Seattle because he had some patrols to run before he could come and meet me. We had planned to meet in a park where we had gone to before and loved it there. We both weren't the picnic type but there was something good, something really natural that let us connect to the nature.

So after meeting there we would go to a movie and then eat somewhere there. A night tried to come to surface in my mind. With Mushroom Ravioli and Him. The night that had conform my theories and had me enter the supernatural world. I shook my head trying to clear my mind. It would do no one good if I started to think the times that I had spent with him.

Charlie had been near ecstatic when he got the news of me and Jake being together. Though he had talked to Jacob, about not hurting me in the future, while brandishing his gun. It was certainly a funny sight and I wondered how Jake was stopping himself from snorting. After so many test and trials, he had kept his promise of not hurting me.

As I got in my Chevy, I thought of cheating again. To think about Edward for a minute, I cheated like that now and then. I had time to get to school so I drove extra slow and allowed myself to drown myself in his memories. I smiled through the pain in my chest; I would always smile when I remember his smouldering gaze, and how he could manipulate me by just a look. His hairs, his smell, everything about him that had attracted me. I remembered him trying to tell me that all these things are the one that makes him dangerous for me. How he underestimated me. I know the real reason he left, I am a thoughtful person and could see from others perspective and I know it took me a little time to understand but I did. How can a vampire be that stupid, I have no idea? He left to protect me, even knowing that I was a danger magnet in myself. Like Victoria wouldn't come after me, like Laurent would be loyal to the vegetarian diet, like I would be able to live without him. He underestimated me and my feelings for him. I wondered sometimes what kind of hell he would be living in, knowing he had left me that day so broken. I remembered Alice telling me once, when James was tracking me that Edward has been alone for a long time and if I would die, he would be alone for another century. I wished he would eventually find someone like I had found Jake. IT may not compare to what I and Edward had, but it was good, I could think my future living with Jake and loving him like he loves me.

I stopped thinking about him as I parked my truck in my spot. My performance in school has changed. I was now studying really hard to get into a really good college. Career is the next thing that I wanted to make. Jake were the most important one nowadays and I wanting my second priority to be my career. I had decided my career to be in medical field. Jake and I discussed our future together sometimes, he wanted to build cars. He was already good at that but after studies we were confident, he'll be great.

Studies were not the only thing that I concentrated on. I decided I didn't wanted to be helpless in front of my friend; it was time to be Bella again. Angela and Ben were always the ones I talked to. I sometimes talked with Jessica and Mike, but not too much. I had found out who was a true friend and who was not. I didn't ignore them but I didn't particularly make an effort to talk to them. Needless to say Jake was happy that I wasn't friends with Mike.

I stepped out of my truck and made my way to my first class. I just wanted the day to end, so I could enjoy a cracking up time with Jake. We always went to those movies that we can joke about all the time. That was our type of date.

As the last bell rang, I thought I could just sing from relief. Two days of school freedom. As I was making my way toward my truck, Ben stopped me.

"What's the matter Ben?" I asked as I took his presence. He had a blush on his face and looked nervous. He kept stretching and then straightening his blue t-shirt. His bag hung on his right shoulder, his faded black jeans had mud clinging to it, from all the mud on the ground.

"I wanted some help actually" he smiled again. I have to say his smile was really childlike.

"Yeah, tell me" I said

"It's going to be our one year anniversary, so, I was thinking if you can help me plan something." Ben said

I smiled, "Of course Ben, I would love to help. What do you want me to do?"

"Well, according to forecast, it's going to be sunny that day, so I was planning something outdoorsy but I want it to be just us, so, I can't take her to a park, they are all so full, so I wanted to ask if you can help me find a place like that."

An image of a meadow came to my mind. It was still beautiful in my mind, a perfect spot for the two lovers like Angela and Ben. That place should not be in the memory of the person who will only recollect bad memories from it, the place deserved better, and it was a heaven for the couple who really loved each other. I could see Ben and Angela being with each other for a long time and maybe even marrying. They shared something so deep that the hole in my chest hurt to remember that I had felt like that too at some point.

"I have just the place for you. But we'll have to leave for that place right after school, if you don't mind." I told him.

He looked ecstatic and smiled in such a way that can only come when a person think about the person he really loves.

"I owe you one, Bella." Ben said.

"You can order home deliver pizza for me." I replied

He laughed but agreed and I told him to follow my truck. I knew that I would be late after showing Ben the meadow, so I called Jake.

"Hey." I said when I heard him pick up.

"Hey, Bella, I was just going out for patrol." He answered.

"Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I will be late for meeting you in the park. Ben is asking for my help for his and Angela's one year anniversary."

"You? Helping someone for a romantic day?" He snorted." That would be something to see."

"Nobody's asking you for my lack of romance ideas. Beside I can have good ideas. I am taking him to the meadow." I told him smugly.

"Aww… I was going to take you there." His tone implied that he was mocking me.

"Way to have original ideas Jake. Maybe we should just sit at my sofa and see movie marathon of something." I replied. Although I was joking yet I felt a jolt at thinking that we may celebrate our first year anniversary and many more.

"Ah, you always know how to make my day, love." I felt a jolt at that because He called me that. I gulped.

"Yeah, now I am hanging up. Ben would be thinking that my truck had decided to not move at all if I kept him waiting any longer."

"That can happen. But yes, I've got to go too. I love you."

"Love you too." I clicked the end button and started my truck.

I couldn't help but see all the memories flickering in front of me. I didn't stop them. Sometimes to know something was real was to face the pain that it had brought on you and I didn't want Edward to fade into nothing. After all first love should always be remembered.

I glanced in the rear view now and then to check if Ben was following me and he was. There was stinging in my eyes but I refused to cry. The meadow now consisted of others memories too. It was supposed to be for a Bella and Edward who were together but they were not here now. I have tainted it with the memories of me and Jake together when we went hiking and I enjoyed those memories because they kept me away from the hole.

I could see the point from which the trail started and stopped my truck there. The map and compass was always there in my truck and it was becoming rather easy for me to find my way through the place. I knew that it would take us at least three hours to get in and out if we went in a fast pace.

"Is this it?" Ben asked gesturing toward a trail.

"No, it is nowhere near the trail." I answered and started toward the edge of forest.

Ben looked surprised but followed. I could understand his surprise, after all even Jake accepted the fact that I did not look like a girl who would go off trail but they didn't knew that he was also called a trouble magnet. The name stung a bit but not that much to curl into a ball.

The forest was alive with an activity, it was sunny and the winter was at end after all. This year was my last year and I was applying to many colleges. Jake had made sure to make me give application in Dartmouth too. I didn't know what he was thinking. Like I could be that intelligent to get into that college.

I could hear the scuttles and whispers of leaves moving, the animals shifting from their position. The new green leaves and small blossoming flowers. Although it wasn't as green as it should be by now but for a place like Forks it was still something. There were some spots where the sun's rays broke through the heavy foliage. The warmness that seeped into the skin that was exposed to the sunlight was countered when I moved from that spot and felt the still icy wind.

The conversation was less because we both knew that we had to get back early, so we trudged up quietly and fast. The occasional talk consisted of asking about assignments and Jake and how the part time job was going. After walking for a while I could see the glare of sun at some distance. I prepared myself for it because I knew that there would be some beauty that I had beheld when I had first been there.

"Be prepared." I told him and smiled.

He looked suspicious but still nodded. And then we broke out of the forest and into the meadow and I could hear him gasp. It still looked breath taking and I could feel the hole growing in my chest and I let it for a minute. I closed my eyes and just felt the presence that wasn't there. I heard his voice in my memories, I saw his skin glittering and felt the ghost touches and I could feel my own tears flowing but I did not feel like curling up, I just let myself feel and let them flow because sometimes that was hard too and I had been keeping them at bay for a long time now.

"It's so magnificent; there is no word for it." I opened my eyes and saw him looking in awe at the sight in front of him. He rounded at me.

"How did you find it?" He stopped as he saw tears in my eyes. "What happened?"

"Nothing, just some past memories. I came here with Edward. He showed me this place." I told him and smiled. I wiped my tears and looked at the place for one more time.

"Does it still hurt?" He asked uncomfortably.

"Yes, it does. It will always hurt. And let me give you an advice as a person who had experienced it, hold on to Angela. You guys have something so special that not many people experience it."

He smiled softly and hugged me. I hugged him back for a moment then told him to hurry as I had to meet Jake.

Evening was not very far and I wanted to make it before complete dark and our pace was faster than before. I did not notice the wonders that the forest held but saw my on feet and the ground ahead as I moved. Ben was also keeping pace with me, he also had some study plans with Angela and he did not wanted her suspicious of his plans.

At last we got the place where we had parked our vehicles. After thanking me, he and I parted ways and I swerved my truck toward the route to Seattle.

The Sun was still in the sky and I knew that by the time I would get to that park it would set. I sighed as I realized that I was late. I just hoped that Jake wouldn't be angry or that he would get to do something else there. Although he probably would start playing with kids. Sometime I forget that we were still teenagers, allowed to be kids. Mine and his life has just been through things that normally human didn't encounter and it was important to salvage the moment of normality. I already spend my free time with Emily, helping her and waiting for boys and I understood that, that was difficult too. Wondering if someday they would encounter a vampire and wouldn't come back. I didn't know if I wanted anymore vampires here or not. This life was comfortable; I knew now why Charlie preferred this small town. I knew that Jake ha responsibilities here and that's why I wasn't bringing this topic for now. We still have years for thinking about settling down and we can think about it later. For now it was important for us to survive. I knew when it came to it, I was the problem. I couldn't forget the past but who would be able to. When you have a future planned out and it just disappears into nothing, how can you not hold the wisp of it?

At last I got to the appointed place and parked my truck. I could see Jake's vehicle too. I remembered the days when we spent the whole day playing in his garage with those things. Now, my motorcycle was in his garage and we went there now and then when they needed a fixing. We still rode them and it was exciting as hell. I had stopped seeing Edward after I had gotten the hang of it. I was disappointed for days but I knew it was for best. I can't chase his shadows everywhere after all.

I shook my head and tried to cheer myself up so that Jacob wouldn't suspect anything. I think he still knows when I am thinking about Edward but he also knows that they had left a big impact and it would take me some time to recover. I trusted Jacob to get me through it, he was the only person whom I can trust with my heart and he had proved it.

The park was big and we would have difficulty finding each other if not for the place that we have fixed already. That place was tucked away in a corner, with lots of trees surrounding it. There were many bird houses hanging from trees there. It was mainly for that purpose. Kids often made their own bird houses to be hanged there. There was a competition every year to choose the best one. It increased the imagination power of kids and made them more active. It also created a place for Bird watching and to be an environment with only the bird chirping sounds. Sometimes it was annoying if you're already in a bad mood but sometimes it just absorbs you and makes you one with nature. Now that, the sun was setting, I guessed that birds would be trying to sleep and would be relatively silent, accept for nocturnal ones.

When I went to the spot though, I didn't find Jacob there. I frowned and wondered if I was that much late that he would have left already but Jacob wasn't that type. He would have waited for me or would have at least called me if that were the case. I thought about checking the park then, maybe he just went for a stroll.

After checking half the park, I found him by the small pound that the park had. I walked toward him but stopped when I saw that he hadn't heard my approach. That was weird because he always knew when I was in his vicinity. He was looking toward the playground and he had an expression that I haven't ever seen on his face. I looked toward the playground to see what has captured his attention but I only saw two girls talking while sitting on the swings. I looked back toward Jacob but he still had that expression, like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.

I gasped and felt my legs give away as I realized what had happened. Surprisingly I felt numb except for the chant of 'No' going in my head. I clutched my chest as it became too difficult to breathe and gasped. I realized I was saying 'no' aloud too. I couldn't think of anything but I still felt my thoughts clashing in my mind. The 'it can't happen' to 'I should have known' running through my mind. But I couldn't feel anything other than the hole that just became bigger, maybe not bigger but as though another hole has opened. I was numb to everything. The cold air didn't sting, the stone under my knee didn't hurt and the pain of losing something, didn't register.

I saw as Jacob swung his head toward me, He should have heard my gasping and I could see the horror in his eyes but I could also see the acceptance in his eyes of what was happening. He started walking toward me and I didn't knew if I wanted him to come near to comfort me or just staying away from me so that I didn't have to hear it. I could see it in his eyes already.

Jacob was coming toward me but I could see him struggling to not look toward the girl who has captured his heart. A lilt of laugh made him look away from me and again toward the girl. I didn't know which one he was looking at but I knew that I have lost him. He looked at me again and I could see the tears forming in his eyes. This thing would devastate him too but he will not be able to ignore it, I already knew it.

I stood up on shaking legs and saw him stop. He looked at me, trying to communicate without words but I couldn't bear it any longer. I couldn't bear to see him struggling neither seeing the finality of the situation. I shook my head, tears trickling down my face, I didn't want him comforting me, and I just wanted to curl up somewhere. The person I trusted most would be breaking it. I understood why he would be doing it but it didn't make the heartbreak any better.

I spun around and ran, clutching my chest as I felt the hollow ache in there. The scene blurred in front of me because of my tears but I couldn't stop or wipe them away because I just wanted to get away from all this. As I saw the last time behind me, I saw Jacob crouching on the ground, his hands covering his face. I saw the girls making their way toward him, probably to ask him if he was alright. The day it will end for me, will be starting of a new relationship.

I didn't know how I got back to my house, everything was just a blur. The only thing running in my mind was 'Not again'. Because I could not live through it all again. The rain had started half way through my home and I didn't care when I stepped out into it and felt myself get wet. It didn't matter because I was numb and I didn't want to feel anything either. I stood in front of the house, staring at it. It was all coming back, the numbness was going away as things registered in my head. I shivered as I felt cold. No one was there with their werewolf heated body to get me warm. My heart was broken and no one was there with their sunny smile to make me feel happy. I was lonely and the person who loved me was so far away now that the emptiness ached.

Edward and Jacob. Both revolved inside my mind, no name gave me comfort, it just made me want to curl up and die. My safe harbour had become another storm for me to face.

Light spilled in front of me as the front door opened and Charlie saw me. He would be seeing his daughter broken again. I didn't know how he would cope with that. He came out and rushed toward me. He called my name but I couldn't answer. Thankfully darkness was seeping around me and after a moment I drowned in it.

As I came to, I knew that I didn't want to face the world. I couldn't remember because of the haze that was surrounding me but I knew that it was disastrous and something that I wouldn't be able to bear. I blearily opened my eyes and saw the ceiling overhead, it registered in my mind that it was night time. I got up slowly and saw that I was in the same clothes in which I had gone to school. They were dry but I remembered being in the rain. I struggled to remember why I was there and slowly the information came. My hand went to my chest and I started crying because I felt like there was nothing else to do. I remembered that I had a history assignment that I would have to submit tomorrow and I went to my desk, sobbing and throwing aside things to get to my books, I cried as I wrote in my notebook, the tears dropping on my notebook and ruining it. The only thoughts that I tried to think about was history but that didn't stop me from crying because it was unbearable but I have to live but there was nothing to live for. If I could find a reason like history assignment to continue my existence then I would.

That's how Charlie found me, doing homework while sobbing. He came to my desk and tried to make me stop.

"Bella, listen to me. Stop crying." He said, he was never very good at comforting.

He made me face him and hugged me.

"I can't." I sobbed. "I can't go through that, Dad. I will die. Why did this happen, why?"

"Bells, I'll make him pay, I promise." He said his voice hard.

I recoiled in horror.

"No Dad, it's not his fault. Jake didn't do anything. It was just…" I trailed. How can I make him understand that it was the universe that was to blame?

"I've already talked to Billy and I know who I am going to blame. I was so happy when you got together with Jacob but I didn't know that he would also turn out like that Edward. I'm sorry Bella. I couldn't protect you from anyone." He looked at me with anguish in his eyes and I hugged him again. He shouldn't feel like that, if I would have been stronger from the starting, he wouldn't have to see it.

I didn't want him to worry. I had to be strong and face it if I wanted to see him happy so I wiped my face and put a determined mask on my face. "I will be alright Dad. You don't have to worry about me."

He looked at me, I think he knew what I was trying but he still nodded, kissed my forehead and with a last look got out of my room. As he closed my door, the tears came again and I stared at my assignment.

I was in my own world of anguish and did not care for whatever was happening around me, so I startled as I felt a cold hard hand close over my mouth and as a musical voice said in my ear.

"Be silent or your Dad would have to suffer too."

It was Victoria.

If you liked it, please review. It helps me get more creative. Seriously. Criticism is appreciated.