She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
I swear, it wasn't supposed to happen like this.
My laugh, my smile, my essence at some point had been pure, sincere, real.
But it was just a matter of time.
I thought I knew everything, how everything was supposed to be but that was something only my old naïve self would've said. I learned in the worst possible way that the people you loved would only build you up and tear you down.
They do say that the higher you are the farther you'll fall.
I could've sworn I'd left my bad luck behind, that a new city would bring a fresh start; a new life to put it simply. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was right.
I don't know what to believe anymore. Its one thing to believe you lost someone; it's an entirely different thing to lose them twice.
Something like throwing away a second chance.
I think brooding is contagious; I simply can't stop dwelling how badly I screwed up.
Maybe…just maybe I didn't screw up though. Is loving a mistake? That's what I once thought but now I'm not so sure.
Not that I was ever sure of anything.
They all said writing it down would help me, make me see that I haven't lost everything. The thing they don't understand is that I know that. I know that I have the world at my finger tips; I know I can make people bow before me. I know I have the power.
I know that all, but it none of it changes how I feel.
I was selfish, stupid, and weak before I met the friends I have today. I thought nothing of the people who suffered in silence. I know better now, every life means something in the long run.
More than I could've imagined.
To put it simply, I was wrong.
This is my story, not the before one, not the after one.
The one where what seemed like a tragedy became the closest thing to a happily ever after.
That is, if I believed in those.
-Max
