The Legend of
Zelda
Ganon
Returns
A long time ago, deep within Hyrule, a squirrel exploded. But that's a different story. THIS story is about how evil was once more spread upon Hyrule. Again. This was very inconvenient for our hero, Link. Who was just in the middle of his aerobic workout................................
"Navi! This is very inconvenient for their young hero, me! I was just in the middle of my aerobic workout!......................." Link said angrily. "Well, Link," Navi replied. "All you have to do is defeat the monster that's attacking Kokori Village as we speak, then the newly returned Ganondorf will come telling you that if you ever want to see any of your girlfriends again, then you'll go to his castle to have yet another battle to determine who is truly the most powerful being in Hyrule.no. The whole word." "Navi, that is totally ridiculous!" Link said. "Where do you get this stuff?" "I have my ways." Navi began cackling madly. Link raised an eyebrow. If this was the way Navi lived, he would have to eat peanuts for the rest of his life. He didn't know why. It was just a feeling. "OK, fine," Link said. "I'll defeat the stupid monstrous beast that's sabotaging the village." Link jumped from his window with his sword drawn. He lunged at the beast. The beast was covered in black armor. It deflected Link's blow with ease. "Uh-oh," he said. The beast charged at Link. It shot fire out of its mouth. Engulfing Link in a flaming ball. "NOOO!" Link cried in rage as his clothes ignited. And HE ignited. "This is so cool," Navi stared intently out of the window. "I'm BURNING!" Link cried in agony. "BURNING!" "He's BURNING!" Navi repeated mutually. "BURNING!" As you can see, Link was currently in flames. Panicking Navi for a can of gasoline. How she got it, no one knows. "FIRE!" she screeched and poured the gas all over Link. "Navi, you retard!" Link yelled in exasperation. "WHAT?!" she cried. "I just saved you sorry-" However Navi had spoken too soon. For at that point Link exploded in a burst of flames. "AHHH!" he cried. If you're an extremely retarded idiot and you don't know why Link just exploded, it's because gasoline is an extremely flammable liquid. "Link!" Navi called sadly. But she knew he was gone. Gone forever. "Why did you have to explode? Why was it all my fault? WHY IS GASOLINE FLAMMABLE?! WHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?! Why." She turned on her CD player.
If only tears could bring you back to me If only love could find a way
Suddenly, Link's body parts began to come back together. Gospel music could be heard millions of miles away. He stood up. "I I feel so alive For the very first time And I think I can fly!" He picked up his fallen sword. It was filled with light. He struck at the beast. It cried out in pain as it collapsed. As the monster faded, a dark cloud appeared over their heads. An array of light came down to the earth. A dark figure came out of the light. Link tensed. Something was wrong. The figure was consumed within a dark shadow. He wore a black cloak. He obviously didn't want to be revealed. But Link felt the darkness flowing inside of him. It could only be one person. Ganondorf.
A long time ago, deep within Hyrule, a squirrel exploded. But that's a different story. THIS story is about how evil was once more spread upon Hyrule. Again. This was very inconvenient for our hero, Link. Who was just in the middle of his aerobic workout................................
"Navi! This is very inconvenient for their young hero, me! I was just in the middle of my aerobic workout!......................." Link said angrily. "Well, Link," Navi replied. "All you have to do is defeat the monster that's attacking Kokori Village as we speak, then the newly returned Ganondorf will come telling you that if you ever want to see any of your girlfriends again, then you'll go to his castle to have yet another battle to determine who is truly the most powerful being in Hyrule.no. The whole word." "Navi, that is totally ridiculous!" Link said. "Where do you get this stuff?" "I have my ways." Navi began cackling madly. Link raised an eyebrow. If this was the way Navi lived, he would have to eat peanuts for the rest of his life. He didn't know why. It was just a feeling. "OK, fine," Link said. "I'll defeat the stupid monstrous beast that's sabotaging the village." Link jumped from his window with his sword drawn. He lunged at the beast. The beast was covered in black armor. It deflected Link's blow with ease. "Uh-oh," he said. The beast charged at Link. It shot fire out of its mouth. Engulfing Link in a flaming ball. "NOOO!" Link cried in rage as his clothes ignited. And HE ignited. "This is so cool," Navi stared intently out of the window. "I'm BURNING!" Link cried in agony. "BURNING!" "He's BURNING!" Navi repeated mutually. "BURNING!" As you can see, Link was currently in flames. Panicking Navi for a can of gasoline. How she got it, no one knows. "FIRE!" she screeched and poured the gas all over Link. "Navi, you retard!" Link yelled in exasperation. "WHAT?!" she cried. "I just saved you sorry-" However Navi had spoken too soon. For at that point Link exploded in a burst of flames. "AHHH!" he cried. If you're an extremely retarded idiot and you don't know why Link just exploded, it's because gasoline is an extremely flammable liquid. "Link!" Navi called sadly. But she knew he was gone. Gone forever. "Why did you have to explode? Why was it all my fault? WHY IS GASOLINE FLAMMABLE?! WHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?! Why." She turned on her CD player.
If only tears could bring you back to me If only love could find a way
Suddenly, Link's body parts began to come back together. Gospel music could be heard millions of miles away. He stood up. "I I feel so alive For the very first time And I think I can fly!" He picked up his fallen sword. It was filled with light. He struck at the beast. It cried out in pain as it collapsed. As the monster faded, a dark cloud appeared over their heads. An array of light came down to the earth. A dark figure came out of the light. Link tensed. Something was wrong. The figure was consumed within a dark shadow. He wore a black cloak. He obviously didn't want to be revealed. But Link felt the darkness flowing inside of him. It could only be one person. Ganondorf.
