Disclaimer: Zhu Li, I do not own the thing.
A/N: The sixth and penultimate part of a brief series of song-inspired drabbles. This part is for the incredibly talented Hailey ( skellagirl), with hugs!
Good reading,
Wil.
My Poison On Your Lips
Secrets – OneRepublic
'So tell me what you want to hear,
Something that will light those ears,
Sick of all the insincere,
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away.
This time, don't need another perfect lie,
Don't care if critics ever jump in line,
I'm gonna give all my secrets away.'
She had played every move of her game to utter perfection.
Although she would willingly admit Kuvira was more than able an opponent, she had managed to remain one small step ahead of her up till now. She wasn't deluding herself, though. Kuvira was a true mastermind, and she excelled at the art of manipulating people at will. The only advantage Zhu Li held over her was secrecy. Thus, Kuvira had never attempted to decipher Zhu Li's mind or motives, and though it was evident the metalbender would rip the other woman to shreds without a flinch shall her loyalty ever waver, she was still, to this day, considered and treated as one of Kuvira's most trusted advisors.
She would finally get to see him, for the first time in several weeks.
They had never been apart for so long in the past and, despite her cold and apparently unmoveable facade, Zhu Li's mind was whirling, dragging her heart in its wake. She knew Varrick was still alive, for she had heard him move around the train several times in the past. Other than that, Kuvira had proven utterly prudent and avoided any possible interaction between the former mentor and assistant. After all, she had had first-hand experience of the consequences such an encounter could trigger, through her brief reunion with Suyin.
Nevertheless, after Zhu Li had ever so tactfully worked the eventuality of Varrick planning a coup into the conversation, Kuvira had reluctantly accepted to send Zhu Li decrypt her former employer's true intentions.
Her interaction with him would, however, be supervised at all times; there was no way Zhu Li would be able to slip Varrick any word of the truth. She would only be able to check on his physical and mental state; it had to be enough for now.
Zhu Li sadly realised he would probably not give her a chance to explain herself anyway; not after what she had said and done to him.
…
How wrong she had been.
The very second her grey eyes met Varrick's sorrowful ones, words began spilling out of his mouth relentlessly, so fast Zhu Li could barely make sense of them.
'Zhu Li, I need to speak to you.'
'Sir, I don't think it would be appropriate. I'm currently on a formal mission for the Great Uniter; my duty is to discuss the potential dangers of your on-going experiments with the spirit vines, nothing else.'
'There is so much I have never told you,' he continued as if she had not interrupted him at all. 'I thought you knew all along, Zhu Li. It never occurred to me I should have said, well- the things.'
Deep inside her chest, Zhu's heart had begun pounding wildly against her ribs; she barely managed to breathe at all.
'I never- I have been so inconsiderate in the ways I have treated you, Zhu Li. My- affection for you was always so evident to me; I never realised I was hurting you all along.'
'Sir, this is not the discussion I am here to have with you.'
'Zhu Li, let me speak! I've realised now you were absolutely right to turn against me as you did. I've been a terrible partner to you, and I only wish I could make you see how much I regret the way things evolved between us.'
Zhu Li had to bite her lower lip hard enough it drew small droplets of blood in order to keep the words in. If only he would stop speaking. She had yearned to hear those very words for so long- years, decades even, and now Varrick had finally said them, she was denied the right to answer.
'I've never apologised to anyone in the past, but I will apologise to you now. I am truly sorry, Zhu Li, and I know I can't change the past, but, Spirits, do wish I could.'
'Are you quite finished, sir?' she forced herself to say, focusing every small parcel mind on keeping her voice steady and collected.
'I always thought you knew,' he continued despite her rebuff. 'I did honestly think my feelings -for you, that is- were clear as day. I can see now I really ought to have said it, said the thing. I'm sorry, Zhu Li. I don't' expect you to ever forgive me.'
Zhu Li shut her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath as she prayed the guards standing behind her would not come to notice the glistening droplets attached to her eyelashes. She readjusted her small glasses, clenching her fists until her nails were digging deep into her palms, before forcing herself to speak again.
'Right. Now, about the spirit vines…'
