It's so lonely without him here. Him as in Peter Parker. I don't get it why he still refuses to talk to me. It's been a whole year since that day. The day where I came to his door and he told me he didn't love me and that he couldn't see me anymore. There is only one reason why he said that. My father.
"Mom, I going out for a bit," I say. I need to get out of this apartment. It has too many things that remind me of my father and also Peter.
I need to see him.
But I can't.
But I need to.
I argue with myself all the time when it comes to Peter. Whenever he is in the news for his other identity, Spiderman, I argue with myself if I should help him with his injuries because I know I am the only one that can.
I wish he would be mine.
But he doesn't want me anymore.
But I do want him.
I need to get Peter out of my mind. I snatch up my iPod and walk out of the door. I decide to go to the café down the street. They have soothing smoothies there that always help me think. That was where my first date with Peter was.
I can't go there.
I don't have enough strength.
But, I need to go.
So, I end up going there out of mental frustration with myself. When I arrive, I see one of my dad's friends, Captain Richards.
"Gwen! What a surprise! I didn't know you lived around here! How's your mother doing?"
"She is fine. Thanks for asking," I say. I never liked him. He was the one who allegedly shot Spiderman, almost killing him.
I walk out of earshot from him. I don't want to talk to him.
I get a Mango Madness Smoothie from the cashier. I decide to go to the park to deink the smoothie and listen to some music.
"Red" by Taylor Swift is on my Top 5 list. I find that is exactly how to describe my relationship with Peter.
"Gwen?" someone asks.
I am still looking down at my iPod and say, "yeah?"
I look up and realize that the person who I love is standing right in front of me.
"Peter? What are you doing here?" I ask in complete shock.
"I was looking for a job when I realized it is hopeless for as guy like me to get a job so I came here. What are you doing here?"
"I was trying to clear my mind. My head is just out of control since today is one year after my father…well you know. Sorry I'm rambling," I say embarrassed.
"That's ok."
An awkward silence has us just staring at each other. I should tell him.
I should tell him I love him.
But it won't work anyway because he can't be with me.
But I need to tell him.
"Listen Peter, I didn't come here to clear my mind about my father. I came here to clear my mind of you. I keep arguing with myself about you and I can't stop thinking about you. You are constantly on my mind and I can't take it anymore. It's killing me to know that you don't want me anymore. I realize you can't be in love with me because you made a promise but I don't care about my safety. I just need you to be there for me."
By this point I had started crying and I was making a big scene.
"Listen, Gwen," he starts to say. But just out of the blue the police sirens go off and I am left with a broken heart.
"Peter, I know you have to go so just pretend this didn't happen, ok? For my sake, just go save the city and don't worry about me. I will be fine without you. I will get over it."
"Gwen, Im not leaving you here by yourself.I am not going anywhere without you. I cant go anywhere with out you anymore because I constantly sit at home and think about you and what it would be like to still habe you." He says .
I am touched that he isn't going to leave me here by myself. For onece, he isn't going to save the city froma ragin fire or a burglary. He is saving me. He is saving me from falling into a complete darkness without him.
Should I tell him I love him? Or should I just keep quiet. We both know that we love eachother but it is so nerve racking to know that he loves me.
Should I tell him?
Maybe he is just trying to save my feelings from being hurt.
But
I
Do
Love
Him
So I am going to tell him.
"I love you, "I say.
"I love you, too Gwen" he says. I really do love the way he say it.
"Please, please, I am begging you Peter Parker, Kiss me," I say helplessly.
So he does.
And I am suddenly lost again into his kiss.
He should really go save New York but he stays with me and loves me.
