Healing

Chapter 1
Katniss

I lay on the couch, somewhere between sleep and consciousness, when I hear it. The familiar shuffling of a certain boy with a fake leg. I bolt upright, rubbing my eyes and straining my ears, hoping to hear it again, and that it wasn't my imagination, or a hallucination—which I'm not proud to say I'm no stranger to.

Just as I'm about to chalk it all up to my reconstructed ear, which I'm sure picks up unusual signals, I hear something else. This time, it's a faint squeaking noise, accompanied by the familiar shuffling. The noise continues, and I hear it rounding the front of the house, and stopping with a soft thud under the window in the living room.

I begin to contemplate whether or not I should peek out the window, when I hear a few soft thuds as a shovel hits the dirt, and a grunt from the shovel's operator. Deciding I can't just sit any longer, I swing my legs off the couch and rush to the front hallway.

I throw open the door and step out onto the stairs, the sunshine, which I haven't been exposed to in quite some time, stings my eyes as they adjust to the lighting. In front of me, I see none other than Peeta Mellark, digging in my garden, with a bunch of rose bushes surrounding him. I must make some sort of noise, because he looks up at me suddenly, and gives a small smile.

"You're back," I squeak, my own voice making me jump slightly, seeing as I'm no longer used to it after my period of silence.

He responds with something about Dr. Aurelius finally letting him leave the Capitol, and how I should pick up the phone to receive my treatments.

I ignore his comment and look towards the bushes, feeling anger rise inside of me. Anger towards the boy standing in front of me, who thinks he can return from his stay in the Capitol, and invade my house and garden. And of all plants, he had to choose rose bushes?!
"What are you doing?" I ask, trying not to let my anger show.

He looks at me for a moment before saying, "I dug these up this morning. For her. We could plant them along your house."

I open my mouth, about ready to scream at him for thinking planting those wretched bushes in honour of my dead little sister was a good idea, when I notice something. I take a closer look at the bushes, and my anger fades quickly. They're not rose bushes, but primrose bushes, the flower my sister was named after. Suddenly, I feel overwhelmed with emotion. I simply nod at him, and flee back into the house, slamming the door behind me.

I lean against the door for support. He's back. Here. Outside my house. I can't help but feel a small spark of joy, but I push it down quickly as I race up the stairs to shower and grab my equipment.

Seeing Peeta has sparked something in me. I decide to take a trip to the woods. I throw on my old hunting clothes, grab my bow and arrow and game bag, and dash back down the stairs, running right past Greasy Sae, who is preparing a meal, as usual, in the kitchen.

She turns around, surprised to see me up and about, and only has the chance to say a quick hello before I'm out the door. I can only wonder what she thinks has gotten into me.

I sprint as fast as I can to the area where I used to escape into the woods, and stop short once I reach there. The fence is pretty much demolished, and only stands in a few places, looking like a small breeze could easily knock it over.

I slow my pace slightly, suddenly mourning the loss of the old District 12, which I haven't thought about in months. As soon as I'm past the fence, I pick up speed again, and run to the place that used to hold the most comfort for me. The lake. I emerge from the dense trees some time later, and am immediately flooded with memories of days spent here with my father. A small smile creeps onto my face as I sit at the edge of the lake, watching the little fish swim back and forth.

I strip off my shoes and socks, and dangle my feet into the water. As I sit there, I let my mind wander.

"He's back," I say aloud, as if finalizing it. I let out a sigh, wondering what could have possibly made him want to come back here. Any remnants of his family, or mine, were all destroyed in the bombing. There's nothing here that could help him heal.

Suddenly, a thought crosses my mind. Maybe he isn't here for his own personal healing...maybe he's here for some other reason. Maybe he's here…because of me.

I shake my head at the thought. That's crazy. There is no way Peeta came back to District 12 because of me. Last time I saw him, he was still pretty concerned that he would attack me and kill me at any given moment. He didn't even trust himself without handcuffs around me during our mission in the Capitol. So then why is he here? It's only been a few months since I left the Capitol, and I know that he surely hasn't been cured of his episodes that quickly.

Memories of the old Peeta begin to creep into my mind. I see one of the many nights on the train. I'm curled up in his strong arms, trembling, and he's stroking my hair soothingly, assuring me the nightmare was over, and I had nothing to be afraid of.
I see his warm smile, his blue eyes shining as he looks at me.
I see us in the cave during our first Games, and feel the pressure of his lips on mine, the fiery sensation the kiss leaves in the pit of my stomach.

I clear my throat and stand, beginning to pace around in the water. The boy in those memories is gone, and it's all because of me. He was taken from me, and changed into someone who I no longer know, and who can no longer stand to be around me.

"But he came back…" I say aloud, still stuck on the fact that of all the places he could have moved on to, he came back here, where I am. Where he knew I would be, seeing as I was sent here with no other choice.

It's not that I mind that he's back…that's the problem.
I've been without him for so long, and, I will admit, I missed him terribly at times. The thing is; I shouldn't miss him. I should have been happy that he was nowhere near me, so I couldn't cause him any more pain. He would still be the same old Peeta, if it weren't for me.

There's nothing I can do at this point. He's here, living in the house right next door to mine. He will no longer be miles and miles away from me, where I couldn't reach him even if I wanted to. And I can't help but smile when I realize that I will be able to see him, at any given time.

The smile fades though, when I come to a decision. I can't let Peeta Mellark back into my life. For his sake, I have to stay away from him.

No matter how hard it may be for me.