AN: Umm..*cough*..read at your own risk. OH, and I don't own Fushigi Yuugi
and I have nothing against Adam Sandler..(is that who he spells his name?)
Miaka skipped merrily down the beach shore in a pink two piece bathing suit with yellow flowers on it. She raced into the water and let the waves cascade across her toes. Suddenly, she was swept up by strong, familiar arms and spun around once. She looked up into Tamahome's eyes and giggled when she saw a strand of kelp on his head. She plucked it off and tossed it into the ocean. Then she took Tamahome's face into her hands and kissed him.
Six other people cringed at this sight. The rest of the Suzaku seven sat together on towels and under umbrellas staring at the two love birds play in the water. Tasuki shook on his orange towel under the Tokyo sun.
"This is truly disgusting. They're just making out in front of Hotohori, it's fuckin' cruel!" Hotohori lifted his sunglasses to look at the hotheaded seishi.
"You're just saying that because you're in love with her too," and he returned his shades to their former position. Tasuki growled.
"So!? Nuriko's in love with her also, and he's not even straight!"
"Hey!" Nuriko sat up under his large, violet umbrella. He worn a pair of navy swimming trunks and a loose lavender blouse. "Just because I've been in love with Hotohori-sama for the past.two years or so, doesn't mean I can't love women! Besides, you don't even like wo-Is that Brad Pitt!!" and he ran off down the beach shouting, "Wait! Can we do lunch or something!!!"
Chichiri shook his head and sat up on his towel.
"Well, I don't really blame any of you for being jealious of Tamahome. I'm in love with Miaka, as well." Everyone but Mitsukake looked at him.
"I thought you had a bride you were in love with?" asked Chiriko.
"Yeah, I do. But I can't help it. I love them both." Tasuki tackled Chichiri.
"You two timing bastard!!" As the two were wresling, Nuriko returned with a look of disappointment on his face.
"It wasn't Brad. It was just Adam Sandler." He raised an eyebrow at the two men rolling around over the towels. He whisled and they looked up.
"Did I miss something? You know, if you two were going to fool around together, you could at least invite me." Tasuki glared at the small, violet-haired man.
"You bitch!" and the bandit tried to jump Nuriko but he was soon kicked sky high. Nuriko giggled to himself.
"I didn't mean to send him so far, my bad," and he sat down under the shade of his umbrella again. Chiriko pointed to the couple now rolling in the surf.
"We were just saying how we're all in love with Miaka."
"Well," started Hotohori as he moved into the shade of Nuriko's umbrella, "we said that you, Tasuki, Chichiri, and myself are under Miaka's influence." Chiriko got a little upset.
"I'm in love with her too, you know." Everyone but Mitsukake stared at the boy.
"But you're only thirteen!" stated Chichiri.
"So! Love transends all ages!" Nuriko scratched his head.
"Now, why does that sound familiar?" Chiriko smile sheepishly. Tasuki walked back with sand all over him and grass in his hair. He sat down on his towel.
"So we're all in love with Miaka, what do we do now." Mitsukake lifted his head slightly.
"I think we should kill Tamahome." Everyone except, well, himself stared at the healer. He set his head back down. "This is why I never talk." Nuriko shook his head.
"This is rediculous. We can't all be in love with her, it's too bizare." Tasuki nodded.
"The fruit has a point there."
"Would you like to go flying toward the parking lot this time?" Hotohori stepped in.
"Nuriko's right, it doesn't make sense that we all love her, there's got to be something or someone behind this."
"It's Nakago," said Chiriko.
"Really?" asked Chichiri.
"I don't know, but it would make perfect sense. After all, he is the villan in this story." He was slapped on the back of the head by everyone but Mitsukake and Nuriko.
"Maybe it's Miaka," suggested Hotohori.
"You know, that actually makes sense!" shouted Tasuki. Then everyone except for Mitsukake shushed him. Chichiri slapped him.
"Will you be quiet, she's right over there you doofus," and he pointed to a wet Miaka who's bikini straps were coming down. All the guys stared at her and tilted their heads to one side. Nuriko shook his head.
"OK, focus people focus. Cold showers, Adam Sandler. Cold showers, Adam Sandler." Everyone cringed. Chichiri was confused.
"So, how could Miaka be behind this all?"
"Well," started Nuriko, "she does appear to like the attention."
"And she told us she'd never had a boyfriend back in her world," added Hotohori. Chichiri was still confused.
"But don't you think she's a little..stupid to pull that off?" Chiriko nodded.
"But maybe it's a cover up." They all looked at the boy genius.
"Then she is one great actress."
"Maybe she's just an ugly perverted evil sorserous in disgiuse who just wanted to get laid." Everyone stared at Mitsukake. Tasuki snarled at him.
"Can someone just put a fuckin' muzzle on him!" Mitsukake shruged, rolled over, and went to sleep. Hotohori spoke up as if the big healer had never existed.
"So, Miaka made Tamahome and myself fall in love with her to get some attention but she's taken it too far and we all love her."
"Right!" came the group response.
"So we have to expose her for the evil bitch she really is." Nuriko brought her hand to her cheek.
"Hotohori-sama, I've never heard you talk like that." Tasuki patted the emperor on the back.
"Good man."
"So," piped out Chichiri, "what are we waiting for!?" They all let out a battle cry and charged across the sand toward the woman they loved, except for Mitsukake of course. They stood ready for war in front of the innocent looking brunet. Tamahome looked back and forth between the group and Miaka.
"What's going on?" Tasuki pointed to Miaka.
"We discovered your little plan and we're here to stop you, bitch!" Tamahome blinked.
"Plan, what plan?"
"Confess, and Nuriko here won't through you sky high toward the parking lot!" Tamahome tried to interupt.
"What's going on, people?" Miaka stood up from where she was in the water.
"So you've figured me out."
"Figured what out?" wined Tamahome.
"But you can't resist me, I'm far too powerful!" The suzaku seishi all had a sudden urge to make out with Miaka right then and there...except for Mitsukake of course. Miaka cackled as the six men tried to hold their ground.
"Stay firm men!" shouted Hotohori. Tamahome whailed.
"Will someone please explain this to me!!!!" Nuriko struggled his way over to Tasuki.
"Tasuki, I need you to burn her head off."
"What!? Are you crazy!?"
"Just do it!!!" So Tasuki took out his fan and with a 'Rekke Shien', Miaka's head was engulfed in flames and the sexual tension was gone.
"No!!! My hair!! How could you!!!" and what was left standing before them was.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"I think I'm gonna be sick!"
"I kissed the fucking bitch!"
"So did I!!!"
"I had sex with her!"
"Ewwww." Tamahome, Tasuki, and Hotohori worked on scraping their tongues.
"Tai Itskun, I'm ashamed to say that I trained under you for three years." The old woman floated in front of them with tears forming in her eyes.
"Well, when Chichiri wouldn't put out, I had to do something." Nuriko folded his arms across his chest.
"You should be ashamed of yourself."
"All I am is ugly perverted evil sorserous in disgiuse who wanted to get laid."
"Who called it!!" was heard coming from where the towels and umbrellas still were.
"I guess I went a little too far."
"I guess so," said Chichiri firmly, "now go back to your mountain and think about what you've done." So, with a hung head, Tai Itskun faded. Hotohori and Tasuki stumbled away toward the bathrooms keeled over.
"We're gonna go throw up." Chichiri and Chiriko walked back toward Mitsukake.
"Luckily we never got anywhere with Miaka."
"But where's the really Miaka?"
"I don't think there ever was one, it was all a disguise."
"Well, I'll say it again, she is one great actress." Tamahome clung to Nuriko's arm.
"You know, Nuriko, I think I'm gonna go gay." Nuriko giggled.
"Splended. Who should we pine after first?"
"Umm.how about Tooya from Ayashi no Ceres?"
"But I thought he was your and Nakago's love child?" Tamahome blinked.
"Oh yeah.I forgot about that. Ok, than Chiaki from KKJ."
"All right, sounds like a plan," and the two walked off into the sunset toward the mini van they had driven in. So once again the day was saved by Mitsukake because he taught us, it's best to stay quiet. It gets you into a lot less trouble.
AN:..that mad no sense what so ever but hey, it was a hoot to write.
Miaka skipped merrily down the beach shore in a pink two piece bathing suit with yellow flowers on it. She raced into the water and let the waves cascade across her toes. Suddenly, she was swept up by strong, familiar arms and spun around once. She looked up into Tamahome's eyes and giggled when she saw a strand of kelp on his head. She plucked it off and tossed it into the ocean. Then she took Tamahome's face into her hands and kissed him.
Six other people cringed at this sight. The rest of the Suzaku seven sat together on towels and under umbrellas staring at the two love birds play in the water. Tasuki shook on his orange towel under the Tokyo sun.
"This is truly disgusting. They're just making out in front of Hotohori, it's fuckin' cruel!" Hotohori lifted his sunglasses to look at the hotheaded seishi.
"You're just saying that because you're in love with her too," and he returned his shades to their former position. Tasuki growled.
"So!? Nuriko's in love with her also, and he's not even straight!"
"Hey!" Nuriko sat up under his large, violet umbrella. He worn a pair of navy swimming trunks and a loose lavender blouse. "Just because I've been in love with Hotohori-sama for the past.two years or so, doesn't mean I can't love women! Besides, you don't even like wo-Is that Brad Pitt!!" and he ran off down the beach shouting, "Wait! Can we do lunch or something!!!"
Chichiri shook his head and sat up on his towel.
"Well, I don't really blame any of you for being jealious of Tamahome. I'm in love with Miaka, as well." Everyone but Mitsukake looked at him.
"I thought you had a bride you were in love with?" asked Chiriko.
"Yeah, I do. But I can't help it. I love them both." Tasuki tackled Chichiri.
"You two timing bastard!!" As the two were wresling, Nuriko returned with a look of disappointment on his face.
"It wasn't Brad. It was just Adam Sandler." He raised an eyebrow at the two men rolling around over the towels. He whisled and they looked up.
"Did I miss something? You know, if you two were going to fool around together, you could at least invite me." Tasuki glared at the small, violet-haired man.
"You bitch!" and the bandit tried to jump Nuriko but he was soon kicked sky high. Nuriko giggled to himself.
"I didn't mean to send him so far, my bad," and he sat down under the shade of his umbrella again. Chiriko pointed to the couple now rolling in the surf.
"We were just saying how we're all in love with Miaka."
"Well," started Hotohori as he moved into the shade of Nuriko's umbrella, "we said that you, Tasuki, Chichiri, and myself are under Miaka's influence." Chiriko got a little upset.
"I'm in love with her too, you know." Everyone but Mitsukake stared at the boy.
"But you're only thirteen!" stated Chichiri.
"So! Love transends all ages!" Nuriko scratched his head.
"Now, why does that sound familiar?" Chiriko smile sheepishly. Tasuki walked back with sand all over him and grass in his hair. He sat down on his towel.
"So we're all in love with Miaka, what do we do now." Mitsukake lifted his head slightly.
"I think we should kill Tamahome." Everyone except, well, himself stared at the healer. He set his head back down. "This is why I never talk." Nuriko shook his head.
"This is rediculous. We can't all be in love with her, it's too bizare." Tasuki nodded.
"The fruit has a point there."
"Would you like to go flying toward the parking lot this time?" Hotohori stepped in.
"Nuriko's right, it doesn't make sense that we all love her, there's got to be something or someone behind this."
"It's Nakago," said Chiriko.
"Really?" asked Chichiri.
"I don't know, but it would make perfect sense. After all, he is the villan in this story." He was slapped on the back of the head by everyone but Mitsukake and Nuriko.
"Maybe it's Miaka," suggested Hotohori.
"You know, that actually makes sense!" shouted Tasuki. Then everyone except for Mitsukake shushed him. Chichiri slapped him.
"Will you be quiet, she's right over there you doofus," and he pointed to a wet Miaka who's bikini straps were coming down. All the guys stared at her and tilted their heads to one side. Nuriko shook his head.
"OK, focus people focus. Cold showers, Adam Sandler. Cold showers, Adam Sandler." Everyone cringed. Chichiri was confused.
"So, how could Miaka be behind this all?"
"Well," started Nuriko, "she does appear to like the attention."
"And she told us she'd never had a boyfriend back in her world," added Hotohori. Chichiri was still confused.
"But don't you think she's a little..stupid to pull that off?" Chiriko nodded.
"But maybe it's a cover up." They all looked at the boy genius.
"Then she is one great actress."
"Maybe she's just an ugly perverted evil sorserous in disgiuse who just wanted to get laid." Everyone stared at Mitsukake. Tasuki snarled at him.
"Can someone just put a fuckin' muzzle on him!" Mitsukake shruged, rolled over, and went to sleep. Hotohori spoke up as if the big healer had never existed.
"So, Miaka made Tamahome and myself fall in love with her to get some attention but she's taken it too far and we all love her."
"Right!" came the group response.
"So we have to expose her for the evil bitch she really is." Nuriko brought her hand to her cheek.
"Hotohori-sama, I've never heard you talk like that." Tasuki patted the emperor on the back.
"Good man."
"So," piped out Chichiri, "what are we waiting for!?" They all let out a battle cry and charged across the sand toward the woman they loved, except for Mitsukake of course. They stood ready for war in front of the innocent looking brunet. Tamahome looked back and forth between the group and Miaka.
"What's going on?" Tasuki pointed to Miaka.
"We discovered your little plan and we're here to stop you, bitch!" Tamahome blinked.
"Plan, what plan?"
"Confess, and Nuriko here won't through you sky high toward the parking lot!" Tamahome tried to interupt.
"What's going on, people?" Miaka stood up from where she was in the water.
"So you've figured me out."
"Figured what out?" wined Tamahome.
"But you can't resist me, I'm far too powerful!" The suzaku seishi all had a sudden urge to make out with Miaka right then and there...except for Mitsukake of course. Miaka cackled as the six men tried to hold their ground.
"Stay firm men!" shouted Hotohori. Tamahome whailed.
"Will someone please explain this to me!!!!" Nuriko struggled his way over to Tasuki.
"Tasuki, I need you to burn her head off."
"What!? Are you crazy!?"
"Just do it!!!" So Tasuki took out his fan and with a 'Rekke Shien', Miaka's head was engulfed in flames and the sexual tension was gone.
"No!!! My hair!! How could you!!!" and what was left standing before them was.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"I think I'm gonna be sick!"
"I kissed the fucking bitch!"
"So did I!!!"
"I had sex with her!"
"Ewwww." Tamahome, Tasuki, and Hotohori worked on scraping their tongues.
"Tai Itskun, I'm ashamed to say that I trained under you for three years." The old woman floated in front of them with tears forming in her eyes.
"Well, when Chichiri wouldn't put out, I had to do something." Nuriko folded his arms across his chest.
"You should be ashamed of yourself."
"All I am is ugly perverted evil sorserous in disgiuse who wanted to get laid."
"Who called it!!" was heard coming from where the towels and umbrellas still were.
"I guess I went a little too far."
"I guess so," said Chichiri firmly, "now go back to your mountain and think about what you've done." So, with a hung head, Tai Itskun faded. Hotohori and Tasuki stumbled away toward the bathrooms keeled over.
"We're gonna go throw up." Chichiri and Chiriko walked back toward Mitsukake.
"Luckily we never got anywhere with Miaka."
"But where's the really Miaka?"
"I don't think there ever was one, it was all a disguise."
"Well, I'll say it again, she is one great actress." Tamahome clung to Nuriko's arm.
"You know, Nuriko, I think I'm gonna go gay." Nuriko giggled.
"Splended. Who should we pine after first?"
"Umm.how about Tooya from Ayashi no Ceres?"
"But I thought he was your and Nakago's love child?" Tamahome blinked.
"Oh yeah.I forgot about that. Ok, than Chiaki from KKJ."
"All right, sounds like a plan," and the two walked off into the sunset toward the mini van they had driven in. So once again the day was saved by Mitsukake because he taught us, it's best to stay quiet. It gets you into a lot less trouble.
AN:..that mad no sense what so ever but hey, it was a hoot to write.
