But It's Better If You Do

Disclaimer: I don't own Patton or Nigel, just their sick, sixteen year old minds… nor do I own Fanny and Rachel. Or the KND.

Patton Drilovski sat in his TND arctic base office and was currently dozed off…

Now I'm of consenting age to be forgetting you in a cabaret.
Somewhere downtown where a burlesque queen may even ask my name
As she sheds her skin on stage
I'm seated and sweating to a dance song on the club's P.A.
The strip joint veteran sits two away
Smirking between dignified sips of his dignified peach and lime daiquiri

the redheaded siren gave him a smirk as he sat down in the booth. Her mask hid her face, though he thought that she looked familiar… too familiar. The bald boy next to him smirked as the girl's friend walked to him. That one was blond. Patton was enjoying this. God, he loved strip clubs…

And isn't this exactly where you'd like me
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety
Oh, isn't this exactly where you'd like me
I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety

"isn't this exactly where you like me?" the redhead purred, with a thick Irish accent.

She was giving him a lap dance, and he was on cloud nine. "You're exactly where I like you…" he hissed, wondering how to get her in one of the rooms to the right of the bar, or the bathroom, anywhere was good at the moment. Anywhere with no people.

But, but I'm afraid that I
Well, I may have faked it
And I wouldn't be caught dead in this place

Okay, he would never be caught in that place and live, but the sinking feeling in his stomach told him that he already had… and the redhead, he noted hadn't stripped at all…

Well, I'm afraid that I
Well, that's right, well I may have faked it
And I wouldn't be caught dead in this place

Well, I'm afraid that I
Well, I may have faked it
And I wouldn't be caught dead in this place

Well, I'm afraid that I
Well, that's right, well I may have faked it
And I wouldn't be caught dead in this place

Nigel, on the other hand was having the same problem as his black haired friend. The difference? He Knew that he had been caught, and he knew exactly who had caught them both. Shit.

Praying for love and paying in naivety
Praying for love and paying in naivety, oh

Patton woke with a start. "Och, Yeh Finally wake up, Yeh stupid boy!" the redheaded Francine Fulbright had caught him red handed sleeping on the job. The problem? She looked exactly like the redhead in his dream… OH MY GOD! She WAS the redhead in his dream! And he had to get to the icy lake outside or he was done for…

Nigel Uno woke up in his own office at Sector V to hear Rachel McKenzie yelling at him through a transmission. "You have some NERV, Uno! Get your ASS to the moon base NOW!" he winced.

"Uh, sure, numbuh 362, sir. I just gotta take a shower first…" he muttered. 'A cold one' he thought.

HAHAHAAAAA that was so much fun to write. It boggles my mind how perverted these teenage boy's ( Patton and Nigel) mind can get…. Even though its my fault that they're like that! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! A.O .P out! R&R!