So. I guess I just wanted to try my hand at Crack!Fiction. XD No specific season-set but being OCD it's pretty much present-season [sans...anything that would inhibit this fic XD], established Destiel and Sabriel. It gets a bit sketchy at some parts, but there's nothing graphic. It's all innuendos and implications and closed curtains, I don't care much for sex scenes. XD Enjoy!

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"Oh, doctor! We shouldn't be doing this! Ms. Hammond is in critical condition, and, ohh!"

"It's alright. I'll save her life as soon as we're finished. As my stunning intern, it's your job to see that I'm in top shape for work."

"Of-of course, Dr. Sexy. " Another moan as he ground against her. "You're so...amazing."

"I know." he replied as he kissed her senseless again.

"Y'know, little brother, your taste in television is kind of...crap." a voice mused.

Castiel's attentive gaze turned from the television set in the little motel room to Gabriel as he materialized beside Castiel. "I am trying to discover what it means to 'play doctor." Castiel explained, in that innocent, earnest way of his.

Gabriel blinked before he burst out laughing. "Whoa, now. What? Now where'dja here that one, Cassie?"

"This television has very few channels. One of the pornographic films described 'playing doctor' and it appeared to be considered a very pleasant experience. I hoped that this show might further my understanding, but so far, the answer remains elusive." Castiel explained, a bit put out as he returned his gaze to the television.

Gabriel grinned. "Right. Well, little brother, lucky for you I happen to know all about playing doctor. And nurse. And the Queen of Hearts, but that's a whhhole other story. Now see, 'playing doctor' is a certain kind of roleplay."

Castiel tilted his head as he returned his gaze to Gabriel. "Roleplay?"

"Well, it's like this, bro. Mortals have all kinds of...fantasies. Wishes, you might say. And sometimes during the, uh, 'pornographic' parts...sometimes they like to pretend those fantasies are real. For example, some people like to 'play doctor'...and I mean, why not? One of those skimpy little nurse outfits and those sexy voices and, well, you get the idea."

"I'm not sure that I do." Castiel seemed more puzzled. "So the point is...to pretend to be something or someone else that you are not? Doesn't that...defeat the purpose?"

"Well, without going all philosophical...not really. But it's all in good fun...in fact, I could give you a real good example, if you want." Gabriel suggested innocently. "I mean, you want to make ole Deano happy, right?"

Castiel regarded him suspiciously. "Meaning what?"

"How about I help you give Dean one of his, ah, dreams come true?"

"Why?" Castiel frowned now.

"What, a brother can't just help his little brother out?" Gabriel was all innocence.

Castiel seemed both dubious and suspicious, but finally, he said hesitantly. "Fine. If it will make Dean happy-"

"Great! Now listen up and do exactly what I'm about to say..."

...

"Seriously, Dean? Did you have to blow up the crypt?" Sam stared at his smug big brother in disbelief.

Their 'simple salt-and-burn' had gotten a bit out of hand and resulted in some last-minute, stupid but admittedly impressive pyrotechnics on Dean's part, and one ancient family crypt: blown to bits.

"Hey, the bitch is dead and no one died. I'd call that a good day."

"Well, then, Deano, it's about to get better." A chuckle.

Dean and Sam turned just in time to see a grinning Gabriel before Dean felt like he'd been sucker-punched and he found himself whisked away.

"Gabriel! What did you do?" Sam demanded.

"Just helping a brother out." Gabriel said with an almost maniacal glee before he turned to Sam with a grin. "Say, how do you feel about a nurse's outfit?"

...

One minute, Dean was triumphant in a cemetery, and the next-he was wearing scrubs and surrounded by a flurry of hospital activity as doctors, patients, and a loud-mouthed chick on a PA system called for some person or another. "The Hell?" Suspicion dawned. "Gabriel, you son of a bitch! This ain't funny! Zap me out!" it didn't take him long to guess where he'd been zapped, back into his favori-er, that one t.v. show that he didn't like at all. Yeah that.

Dean scowled when he received no response and he opened his mouth to try again when he found his arm grabbed and himself tugged along.

"What the Hell, listen, man-"

"Be quiet, intern." A voice commanded firmly. "Ms. Hammond's life is on the line. I must be fully equipped to work."

"'Scuse me? Wait...Cas?" Dean stared at the man in the doctor's outfit, it was Castiel. Tie included. But his name-tag read 'Dr. Sexy'.

Dean didn't get a reply as he was shoved rather abruptly into a broom closet where 'Dr. Sexy' tugged on the light and then shoved Dean's back against the only unshelved wall. "Uh, Cas, what are you-"

"I said 'quiet', you little intern bitch." Castiel said in his gruff voice, albeit with something that Dean could only surmise was an attempt at a husky growl and his eyes widened. Lips were pressed firmly against his own and a knee was pinned under his groin as Castiel moved against him. Dean was stunned as those words registered in his mind. Little intern bitch..what the Hell?

Dean kissed back for a moment, because A. Castiel was...his. And B. because, well, like he was going to turn down some good action. But he pushed the other away after a moment anyway. "Dude, seriously, what's going on? Are you 'you', or did that prick-"

"Remain silent and attend me, the doctor." Castiel a.k.a. Dr. Sexy commanded. "As my intern, you must serve me." he had some misconceptions on the subject, and wasn't maybe saying 'exactly' what Gabriel had said. But he felt that he had the general idea down. And if he needed any proof, there was the current at-attention status of...every part of Dean's anatomy.

Dean just stared, dumbfounded before he found his scrub top yanked up abruptly by Castiel who pressed him against the wall harder and gave him a firm, hard kiss that snatched his breath for a moment before he pulled away with an unmanly gasp that he was tempted to curse himself for. He was starting to get the idea, the crazy, messed up and convoluted idea.

And he liked it. And he would never ever tell anyone that he liked it.

"Dr. Sexy...we shouldn't be doing this-" a groan, "-Ms-what's-her-face is-" a moan, "-something or other...blah...bla-agh!"

'Dr. Sexy' spoke lowly, his voice husky as he nipped Dean's ear and lowered his hand to Dean's pantstrings. "It's time for the physical examination..."

"I'm scarred. I'm scarred for life." Sam groaned as he stared at the t.v. in a mixture of horror and fascination. His brother called him the freak? "Turn it off before you burn my eyes out!" Sam growled at Gabriel, who had thus far kept the t.v. from shutting off of Dr. Castiel and his 'little intern bitch' Dean.

"Only if you say 'yes'."

"Fine! I'll do it! Just turn it off!"

"You'll wear it? Even the cute little hat?"

"I'll wear the damned outfit! Just turn it off!"

Gabriel smirked as the television shut off right as a fully nursed-out Sam, 'cute little hat' included, stood before him and Gabriel's own clothes morphed into a doctor's outfit and he grinned.

"The doctor has arrived."

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Well. There it is. My sketchy fluff of Dean's uber fantasy. XD Hopefully it was amusing. I tried to make it so. GIVE ME VERBAL HUGS AND I SHALL HAPPILY WRITE A FEW MORE CHAPS INVOLVING THE OTHER FREE WILL TEAM MEMBERS! XD Castiel has a thing for priests and demons, after all...and then there's- XD Okay. Well. We'll see. XD Love, Witchy~