Disclaimer: I don't own Azumanga Daioh
Warning: Adult content, language
A/N: Thought I'd take a break from the drama…
Nyamo the Player
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE SLEPT WITH NYAMO!" Yukari Tanazaki stared in shock at Chiyo Mihama.
"Well—you did ask who—"
"Yeah, but Nyamo! Shit! I need a drink!" Yukari buried her face in her hands in disbelief.
It was a nice, lukewarm, summer evening and the Azu-gang was once again enjoying each others company at Chiyo's summer home. They had been employed in the enterprising game of strip poker when a slightly inebriated Yukari decided to ask a pointed question.
"Wait a minute!" Yukari suddenly jerked her head up and looked at Sakaki, "I thought you and Chiyo—but that's not right—wait," Yukari looked back at Chiyo, "who was first?"
Chiyo coolly replied, "Nyamo."
Yukari couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her best friend had stolen the virginity of Chiyo Mihama! Yukari wished that Nyamo would hurry up and return from her beer run with Kagura so that she could verify this unbelievable rumor.
"How the hell did Nyamo get up your skirt!" Yukari demanded.
"We've always had our suspicions of Nyamo's preference—and I was curious about—it—so I went to the school…"
"At school?" Yukari felt feverish, "Do I even want to know how old you were?"
"Oh, I was 19—completely legal."
"So, um, you were Sakaki's first then?" Yukari asked Chiyo.
"I don't think so." Tomo, who was the only one missing clothing so far, chimed in.
The wildcat winked at Yukari roguishly.
"NO!"
Tomo stood up and strutted over to Yukari. "Yes." She whispered in her ear.
Yukari knew that her face was as red as a ripe tomato. It was hard to ignore a half-naked Tomo, especially when she decided to fawn all over you before whispering seductively in your ear. Yukari looked at Sakaki for confirmation of yet another shocking piece of information.
"She can be very persuasive." Sakaki said with a smile and without a hint of embarrassment.
"How old…" Yukari stopped. Did she really want to know?
"21."
Yukari looked at Yomi and then Chiyo, "This—this doesn't bother either of you does it?"
"Sakaki is mine now." Chiyo hugged Sakaki.
"And Tomo is mine." Yomi grinned.
Yukari closed her eyes and counted slowly to ten. Her head was reeling as she tried to process Sakaki's lack of decency. Of all the girls to lose—it—to, the hottest girl to ever grace her class fell for Tomo? This was too much!
Chiyo who had won yet another round of poker glanced around the table, "Osaka, your turn to strip."
"Nyamo's never told you, huh?" Yomi asked Yukari as she reshuffled the cards.
"Told me what?" Yukari looked at Yomi curiously.
Osaka started laughing as she stripped off the top of her bikini, "That's too funny! Yukari is completely clueless."
"Whose idea was it anyway to play strip poker in our swimsuits?" Yukari grumbled. She was the only one at the table wearing a one-piece.
"Nice try." Osaka poked Yukari, "Don't change the subject."
"I'm not trying to change the subject." Yukari protested.
"Alright—then ask Tomo who her first was." Osaka smirked.
"Sakaki wasn't Tomo's first?"
"Nope."
Yomi started passing out the cards.
"Wasn't it Yomi?" Yukari couldn't think of anyone who could've beat Yomi to her best friend.
"Nope."
"Who got to Tomo first?" Yukari clapped her hands over her mouth. Oh shit! I don't really want to know.
Tomo was leering at her again, "Do you really want to know, Miss Ta-na-za-ki?"
Yukari shook her head, "Please don't tell me." She begged.
"So there I was," Tomo started her story completely ignoring her former teacher's request, "hanging around the school swimming pool with no hidden agenda in mind the summer after we graduated from high school when,"
Tomo winked at Yukari again, "Miss Nyamo Kurosawa walked out of the locker room..."
"Nyamo?" Yukari asked weakly.
"Hell yeah!" Tomo said with a trademark wildcat grin.
"At school, too?"
"You betcha!" Tomo finished her beer and tossed the can at Yukari, "Now ask Osaka who her first was."
Yukari, who was still in shock, didn't think about the can that had just come in contact with her cranium and definitely didn't think as she mechanically asked, "Who was your first, Osaka?"
"I was grocery shopping one day," Osaka began.
"WAIT! Good grief, what's taking those two so long?" Yukari tried to stall the inevitable.
"Quit stalling, Yukari." Tomo cackled unmercifully.
"I was in the produce section,"
"This is the best story!" Tomo cheered Osaka on.
"When who should I meet but my former phys-ed teacher,"
"Oh God!" Yukari wept.
"We got into this very interesting and highly educational conversation about vegetables…"
"Yomi, help me please!" Yukari pleaded, "You're my only hope."
"Osaka isn't done with her story." Yomi unceremoniously dashed all of Yukari's hopes.
"Then she invited me over to her apartment to continue my—lesson…"
"For the love of all that is chaste and holy!" Yukari begged on her hands and knees, "STOP!"
"Damn! Chiyo won again!" Tomo threw her cards on the table.
"I pick—Yomi!"
"Excellent choice, Chiyo-chan!" Tomo reached over to help her girlfriend strip.
"Want to hear about Yomi's first sexual encounter?" Osaka asked Yukari innocently.
"I want more beer!" Yukari cried.
"Here, finish mine." Osaka handed over her beer which was still full.
"—and mine." Sakaki's was full, too.
"There—now, do you want to hear about Yomi's first?" Osaka asked again.
"No." Yukari pouted as she started guzzling down Osaka's beer.
"Yomi, I think Yukari is very interested in who your first was." Chiyo teased.
"Not Nyamo I hope…" Yukari sighed as she moved on to Sakaki's unfinished beer.
"Nyamo wasn't my first." Yomi graciously shared the good news.
Yukari quickly sat up, "Who?"
"It was Kagura."
"Oh thank God—ah, you said—wait" Yukari paused, "Nyamo wasn't your first?"
"Yes." Yomi beamed.
"Hey! We're back!" Kagura announced as she walked in with Nyamo.
Kagura looked at her friends as she helped Nyamo put the beer in the fridge, "Why do you all still have your swimsuits on? We figured you'd all be naked by now except for Chiyo, of course."
"We were just going to start the next round. Grab some beers and join us!" Osaka waved Kagura over to an empty chair next to her.
"Yukari! What's wrong!" Nyamo shook her best friend who looked like she was ready to faint.
"Nyamo—how could you?" Yukari stared glassy-eyed at Nyamo.
"No way!" Kagura started laughing hysterically.
"What's going on?" Nyamo looked suspiciously at Osaka who was whispering in Kagura's ear.
"Tsk, tsk, Nyamo." Yomi clucked as she passed out the cards.
"Osaka, Tomo, Yomi—even—little Chiyo-chan—how could you?" Yukari grabbed Nyamo's beer, tilted her head back and drank it straight.
"Dammit Yukari!" Nyamo growled as she got up to get another beer.
"Yukari, you don't know about Kagura do you?" Osaka asked slyly.
Yukari stood up and threw her empty beer can at Osaka, "NO MORE!" she screamed.
Nyamo looked at Osaka as she picked up her cards, "What about Kagura?"
Yomi held up her hand, "First, you need to tell us why you never told Yukari about your elicit trysts."
"Elicit trysts?" Nyamo was confused.
"Nyamo where's the fucking sake? You did buy a bottle, right?" Yukari swayed out of her chair and stumbled towards the kitchen.
"Damn! Chiyo you suck!" Tomo grumbled as the youngest member won yet another round of strip poker.
"You say that like it's a bad thing, my dear Tomo." Chiyo grinned at Tomo.
Tomo grinned back, "Is that an offer?"
Bam! Yukari slammed the bottle of sake on the table, "Chiyo and Tomo? There's something very wrong here!"
"Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on!" Nyamo demanded.
"As soon as you take that swimsuit off, Nyamo." Chiyo pointed at the PE teacher's one-piece.
"Nice one, Chiyo!" Tomo applauded.
"Okay," Nyamo dropped her swimsuit on the floor, "tell me what's going on."
"While you were out, Yukari asked a naughty question." Sakaki stated simply with a hint of amusement in her eyes.
"Oh yes, it was very naughty." Chiyo nodded.
"I know that I'll probably regret this," Nyamo said cautiously, "but what was the question?"
Osaka gave Yukari a nudge, "Tell Nyamo the question."
Yukari took another gulp of sake and turned to her best friend, "I asked Chiyo who she lost her virginity to—I am such an idiot…"
"Oh." Nyamo blushed.
"Kagura was just about to share who her first was," Osaka laughed as she watched Nyamo turn an even deeper shade of red.
Yomi passed the cards out again, "This is going to be good."
Kagura looked at her former swim coach then at Yukari, "She's never told you?"
Yukari shook her head. She so deeply regretted that she'd ever asked that question.
"You remember how I got placed in your class the 2nd year of high school?" Kagura asked Yukari.
Yukari no longer had the energy to be shocked. "The 2nd year of high school?" she asked weakly.
"Yeah, well—that was a tough year for me. I was really stressed about the nationals and I was sad that I wasn't in Nyamo's class—and one thing led to another…"
"Nyamo!" Yukari wailed, "How could you! She was fucking 16!"
"Yeah, she was." Tomo sniggered.
"So—so you've fucked all of them except Sakaki!"
Nyamo couldn't help it, she slapped the table and howled in laughter.
"I don't think its right for you to be laughing, Nyamo." Yukari scolded.
Nyamo wiped tears out of her eyes, "Ahem—do you really think that I'd miss out on Sakaki?"
"Time for you to strip, Yukari." Chiyo handed her cards back to Yomi.
"W-What!" Yukari stammered.
"Strip, Yukari! Strip! Strip, Yukari! Strip!" Tomo started chanting.
Yukari grabbed Nyamo's helping hands, "Stoooop!"
"Sakaki catch her! She's trying to get away!" Yomi shouted as Yukari tried to run.
With the help of Sakaki, Nyamo and Osaka were able to strip Yukari of her swimsuit.
"I hate all of you!" Yukari griped.
"You shouldn't have tried to run." Yomi said as she dealt the next hand.
"Where were we?" Osaka asked thoughtfully.
Yukari looked at Sakaki in disbelief, "I can't believe Nyamo got to you."
"Nyamo can be very charming." Sakaki smiled, "and she was highly recommended."
"Recommended?" Yukari asked incredulously, "Who recommended Nyamo?"
Tomo raised her hand, "I did."
Yukari started banging her head repeatedly on the table.
Nyamo slapped the back of her best friend's head, "Quit it, Yukari, you're being immature."
"Kagura." Chiyo winked.
"You know," Kagura shook her head at Chiyo as she removed the bottom half of her bikini, "you always leave Sakaki last. Why?"
Chiyo laughed at Kagura, "—best for last, duh!"
"Nyamo Kurosawa! You have no shame!" Yukari pointed an accusing finger.
Yukari continued as if in a daze, "Cute little Chiyo's been ravished by you and—and Sakaki—and…"
"Someone take that bottle of sake away from her."
"—and sweet Yomi's been had by—by you and Tomo and Kagura and—and…"
"I've been with Yomi, too." Osaka interjected.
"Me, too." Sakaki added.
"—ooh, my head hurts."
"Come to think of it," Chiyo looked thoughtfully at Yukari, "I've been with Yomi, too."
"What the fucking hell!" Yukari spat.
"I didn't know you'd had sex with Yomi." Sakaki turned to her girlfriend.
"We're all forgetting the bath house two summers ago," Chiyo shared, "the weekend after our 10-year high school reunion."
"Oh yeah," Kagura smiled, "we rented that private bath."
Tomo reminisced, "Oh hell yeah! The infamous bath house orgy…"
THE END
Dare I ask for a review? Of course I want to know what y'all think!
Please R&R.
This story is the direct result of me thinking too much about the possible shoujo-ai pairings in Azumanga Daioh.
