A little one shot this time. It is a little dark in some parts. It's mostly in Sanzo's point of view, but I do flip back a forth a little just to make it flow a little better…well at least that's what my little brain thinks….gomen.
"What the fuck you staring at?" I growled at the stupid nosey kappa.
"The kiss marks Hakkai left on you." Gojyo leaned back in his chair blowing smoke to the ceiling.
"Who says it was Hakkai?" I cocked an eyebrow. I was not interested in talking about what I did in the bedroom with a hentai hanyou.
"The goddamn noises coming from your room last night asshole." The red head leaned his elbows on the table and had the nerve to leer at me. "Just because he's too polite to say no doesn't mean you can use him."
"You would think that wouldn't you? Get your facts straight before you open your mouth." I stood and turned in a flurry of robes and irritation.
Hakkai sat the groceries on the table in the room he was sharing with me and had started sorting the items to pack away.
"He knows."
"Ah, Sanzo please don't sneak up on me like that." he turned to face me with that dumbass grin on is face.
"Shouldn't be able to sneak up on you Hakkai, you're thinking too much again." I stood resting my back on the closed door.
"Possibly, are you angry that he knows?" Hakkai finished placing the food in the backpacks and set them aside.
I shrugged. "I could care less, not like we're lovers. And even if we were he needs to keep his nose out of our bedroom."
"I suppose that's true. Still I didn't mean for it to happen again so soon, I'm sorry Sanzo." He bowed his head so his hair covered his eyes.
"Stop with your guilt trip. I wasn't complaining Hakkai we both got what we needed." I slipped out of my robe and sat on the bed. I brought out my gun and began the comforting motions of cleaning it.
"Of course Sanzo. I'll try to keep 'Him' under control from now on." the green eyes turned towards me and he sighed. "Especially if Gojyo is wise to us."
"He's just jealous...now go away I need some peace." My words were cold, but I kept my voice soft to lessen the sting.
"Yes Sanzo, I'll go make some lunch for Goku." He nodded and left me to my cleaning.
I could tell the weeks of traveling had made Hakkai jumpy. The last town with its helpless female victims left him feeling edgy and in need of something better than fighting to ease the tension. He pulled Hakaryuu over when it grew too dark to drive safely. "I apologize, but this will have to do for tonight. " He unloaded his sleeping bag and went to search for a suitable place to bed down.
"Come on monkey let's find a spot. Hakkai seems a little on edge so don't be a pest tonight." I know Gojyo could tell in the set of his friend's shoulders that something more than just the constant mothering that was bothering him. I hated the fact that the good for nothing kappa had such a close relationship with Hakkai.
"Yeah right, you're the one that causes trouble you hentai kappa." Goku hefted his pack and struck out to claim a spot, I'm sure, as close to me as I would allow. That boy has no sense of personal space.
"Back off both of you before I kill you." I snapped making it clear I was irritated with the noise.
"Oh...of course Sanzo-sama." The redhead sauntered away hoping to find a place close to Hakkai so he could keep and eye on him or slip into his tent…fucking pervert.
I moved my bedroll close to the two and listened to the conversation…I know, I know, I'm in danger of sounding like I care.
"Hello Gojyo, nice spot." Hakkai had already set up his small tent beneath a large tree and was gathering the water bottles. "I think I should get water for the morning."
"Ok, be careful, doesn't feel right tonight." Gojyo called to his friend's back.
"You felt it too Gojyo?" He turned, giving a little wave then headed towards water.
"Yeah I feel it buddy." He said to empty air. "But damn if I know what it is."
Hakkai walked quickly glad to put distance between the camp and himself. He knelt by the small stream and filled the bottles. The ripples sent out from the movement caused Hakkai to loose himself in thought. "Just like everything I touch….a simple thought and it flows out and disturbs everything in its path."
"You ok Hakkai?" Goku plunged his bottle into the water right next to the healer. "You don't look so good."
"Yes Goku, just need to be alone for a little bit." He sighed.
"But Sanzo said..."
"I don't care! Please… just go away." He snapped.
Hakkai had never barked at him like that and he cringed. "Fine…crap...I'm going." He turned and ran as fast as he could back to the camp fire.
"Whoa there Goku." Gojyo caught him around the waist before the baka saru fell into the small blaze.
"Sanzo, something's wrong with Hakkai." He panted, wide eyed.
"Is he hurt? Where is he?" Gojyo squeezed Goku's shoulders to make him talk.
"No he's not hurt, just weird. He yelled at me for no reason…I didn't even do anything just said hi." Gold eyes gazed at me, wanting me to do something. "And he smells funny…all dark and stuff... like...ah...I don't know but I don't like it."
"Fuck..not again." I pointed at Gojyo. "You stay here you will only upset him. I'll deal with this."
"No way, he's my friend he'll talk to me." The kappa grabbed my arm.
"Fuck off; this is between him and me." I turned and stalked away without another word.
"Oh crap, I hope Sanzo doesn't hurt Hakkai." Goku looked up at Gojyo.
"Might be the other way around if Hakkai is not his usual calm self. He had his limiters on right?" Gojyo sat down and pulled out a smoke.
"Yeah he had them on, but he sort of smelled like that time in the gourd and he took them off to fight that monster." Goku sat close feeling a little nervous.
"Fuck." The kappa pinched the bridge of his nose. "If Sanzo doesn't come back in a bit I'm heading in."
"Yeah me too." Goku sat quietly for once.
Hakkai had not moved from his place by the stream. His green eyes were fixed on some point in the distance and barely breathed. The mud and water had begun to soak into his pants, but he took no notice. "I heard you this time Sanzo; should stop smoking you wouldn't breathe so hard."
"Shut it Hakkai, I didn't come to talk about my health. Why did you yell at Goku? Don't tell me you are having issues." I kept my distance because the youkai power rolling off the man was almost palatable.
"No, I'm fine Sanzo. I will apologize to Goku; I didn't mean to speak so harshly." He finally turned his eyes towards me.
"You don't mean for a lot of things to happen yet they still do." The look in Hakkai's eye made me wish I had let Gojyo deal with this mess.
Hakkai stood gracefully and I was soon staring at green wild eyes. "As you can see my limiters are still in place and I am in full control of myself."
"If you say so, but your eyes tell a different story." I didn't back down even if my instincts were telling me to run. "You can't bullshit me Hakkai, you are letting you past haunt you again. I could tell by the way you fought in the last town. Just because of those dark haired, green eyed girls that were in danger you were about to kill everyone...you're too angry Hakkai."
"I know Sanzo, but I told you I would keep him under control and I'm trying to do that. Unfortunately you have been on my mind lately and are now standing here looking vulnerable… he wants you." Hakkai voice was barely above a whisper.
"Then back off." I gave him my best 'fuck off' glared. "Go cool your head in the water and leave me alone." Shit this was going to turn bad I could tell by the tone of his voice; completely out of character for my polite healer.
Hakkai bowed mockingly and took a step back. He reached up and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it over his head. The black undershirt followed the green tunic and he smiled. He stood in just his muddy, wet pants, looking at me.
"Don't." I warned.
"Now, now Sanzo I'm just doing as you asked. You told me to cool off so I will." Hakkai took off his pants and kicked them to the side. "Besides you have seen me naked many times." He walked towards the water. The stream was shallow and brushed the top of Hakkai's thighs as it rushed past. He bent down to cool his body and wet his hair. He shook his head and then pinned me with that fucking gaze again.
"Much better, thank you Sanzo. " His voice was soft with a hint of violence.
"Just stay there until you calm down. I don't want you going back to camp and freaking Goku out again." I lit a smoke to calm my nerves and leaned against the tree so he wouldn't see the slight trembling.
Hakkai splashed the water over himself not even shivering in reaction to the cold. "Goku is a smart man, he'll be fine." His long fingers followed the water down his chest and over his stomach. He palmed his cock and grinned. "Care to join me Sanzo?"
"No, stop being an ass." I watched the healer's hands and I hardened at the sight. Ever since I started sleeping with Hakkai I couldn't get the man out of my system. Sometimes just the sight of his hands shifting on the steering wheel or the smell of his hair made my body react. It frightened and angered me at the same time. Love is a weakness I can't afford to enjoy.
"Come on Sanzo I know you want it." He purred.
"You're only really using me because you won't dirty the kappa with your lust." I untied my sash and let the robe fall because I knew in my heart I wanted him to come and take me. It was a game I played with myself; want but don't look like I want.
Hakkai narrowed his eyes and bared his teeth. He moved faster than I could follow and slammed me against the tree. "Don't bring him into this."
"I told you to back the fuck up. You can deal with your kappa obsession later." I managed to get my gun up and pushed the barrel hard into his throat.
"You are making a mistake by pissing me off." He growled at me, but took a few steps back. Hakkai smirked and sauntered over to a small tree, leaning against it.
"And you are making the same mistake Hakkai." I growled back. He was unashamed of his obvious desire and moved his hand down his stomach to grasp his erection.
"Oh Sanzo relax, I backed up like you asked…. but you didn't say anything about not continuing." He reached up and took one limiter off his ear.
I felt the wave of power flow over his body at the slight physical change brought on by the removal of just one limiter. His hair lengthened and claws appeared, but his vines were faint. I'm sure his fangs were there behind those smirking lips as well. Hakkai never looked at anyone that way but me and it caused a flutter in my gut. I moved my eyes from his and ran them down his body.
Hewas fucking stroking himself and staring at me…damn it I hate it when he does that. I stepped a little closer and he raked his sharp youkai claws down his chest and across his lower stomach. "Hakkai knock it off." Sometimes when he got in these odd moods he would do stupid things. I could never tell if it was an affect of the minus wave or just part of himself he tried so hard to keep locked away.
He licked his fingers and smirked at me. "I know you want to watch me finish this." He scratched his chest and the blood ran down his pale skin. He winked at me and wrapped his fingers around his throat.
"Hakkai don't fucking do this." He was digging his claws of one hand into the skin just above the nest of brown curls as the strong fingers of the other wrapped around his slender neck.
He squeezed hard and stumbled a little. I tensed ready to pull my gun if need be. Several heartbeats passed and he seemed to be fighting with conscientiousness, but then finally let go and took a gasping breath. He looked at me slyly and tightened his fingers again making him drop to his knees. "You stupid fuck stop hurting yourself." Moving quickly I kicked him hard in the ribs.
It was hard enough to break his grip and he rolled to his side panting. From the sound of it I would guess he partially crushed his throat. I leaned down and opened his good eye. "You better summon some chi and fix yourself before I really kill you. Do not take the coward's way out Hakkai."
I must have got through because a green glow surrounded his neck and he took a ragged breath. "Almost managed this time." He smirked.
I was so pissed I slapped him across the face. He rolled away and I found myself flat on my back, gun tossed to the side and his cock digging into my stomach. "You are bleeding all over me."
"It's ok Sanzo, I'll wash it later." He pinned my shoulders to the grass and kissed me hard.
Damn it if he didn't taste like sin and power. I fought for a few moments just for pride's sake, but gave into my own lust.
Most of our romps were rough and fast seeking mutual release, but this time there was an underlying violence that made me feel unbalanced. Hakkai's limiters throbbed trying to keep the animal under control. He was quick in stripping me and bit painfully along my ribs.
"I can't control him anymore Sanzo...I fear I am losing myself further to the madness. I wish I was strong enough just to end it." He had his lips close to my ear.
"You are strong Hakkai, you need to focus." My damn body was giving in and I arched towards him.
"I try Sanzo, but I'm tired of fighting him." His long youkai tongue made a path along my neck and I shivered.
"Don't stop fighting Hakkai, you can control it." At least I hoped he could. I left my gun and sutra just out of reach in case I was tempted to use them.
"But it makes me feel so dirty…what I do to you…what I force on you." Hakkai had moved down to my hips and teased the sensitive spots there. "I want to hurt you Sanzo; see your pride broken as you lay bleeding at my feet." His voice had gotten dark and dangerous.
Fuck, I shivered at the image. My twisted brain didn't realize it wasn't just one of our kink games and ran with the idea. I let a moan slip when he took me in his mouth and sucked hard. "You are not forcing me Hakkai." I managed to growl out.
After that the haze of pleasure forced reason and rational thought from me. Hakkai played my body like a skilled maestro. He forced sounds from my throat and I mewled like a wonton whore. My healer was not gentle or thoughtful in his pursuit of release and I was glad for it. In his true form he was not only stronger, but thicker and longer than most men. I was glad my body could keep up with his demands, but after what seemed like hours I found my bliss and collapsed.
When I returned to my senses, the first thing I felt was the cold grass on my face. I reached up to brush it way from my cheek and noticed my fingers were sticky. I squinted and then brought them to my nose. Shit, blood coated them and I wasn't sure who's.
Rolling to my side I spotted Hakkai not too far away. He was washing in the water and by the length of his hair had returned to his human form. I managed to sit up without too much pain. "Hakkai."
He turned and moved quickly to my side with the green light of healing already at his finger tips. "Forgive me Genjyo."
He never used my name unless he was sure I wouldn't fuss at him. "What the hell is the matter with you Hakkai?" His hands shook in an uncharacteristic show of assuredness.
Green eyes closed and a wave of healing warmth ran through me. "I almost played out my sick little fantasy. I pushed you to the point of collapse. I used you hard Genjyo…made you bleed and suffer."
He sat back and I looked down at my body. The healing closed the wounds, but did not hide the blood and bruises. I had fang marks and burns from vines all over my torso. "But you feel better now don't you?"
Hakkai looked as if he were going to be sick. "Yes."
I could tell he was blaming himself for everything and would soon withdraw into a place I might not get him back from. "Stop right now. I could have walked away before you even made a move." I wandered a little unsteady to the water and tried to wash.
The man was at my back holding me up with strong arms around my waist. "But that doesn't mean you wanted me to use you as I did. You are my friend not some meaningless sex partner."
I managed to get the worst of it off and turned in his arms. "Maybe I did...maybe I like what you do to me. I can't fucking get you out of my head Hakkai. The taste and smell of you are more addicting than the best booze." I was growing angry at the situation and pulled away from him.
"Please don't walk away from me; I'm not done talking to you." He caught my arm and made me face him again.
"Hakkai if you are going to beat yourself up over this then stop right now. I told you I like it, now get over it." I narrowed my eyes to protect myself from my feelings.
"Then why are you angry with me?" He shivered and I remembered we were still naked.
"I'm not Hakkai, I'm angry with myself. " I found my jeans and slipped them on. I held out my robe to Hakkai. "Come on your clothes are soaked and I can't afford for you to be sick."
"I understand Sanzo." He looked a little lost in the too short robe.
"No you don't Hakkai, but I'm in a good mood so I'll explain it to you." Fuck..fuck I must be out of my mind from the amazing sex. I couldn't believe the words I was about to blurt out, so I stalled for time. "Damn it I need a smoke."
A stick appeared and was popped in my mouth. Hakkai grinned at me and shrugged then lit me up. "Ha ha they were in the robe."
"Thanks." I took a drag and felt a little more in control. "Look Hakkai I'm only going to tell you this once so you will quit regretting what we do. At first it was all about your release to keep your youkai side under control…fuck we all need something to chase away the demons on this trip. But somewhere along the way I began to crave it." He moved up to my side and stood silently. "I'm not into the relationship shit, but I don't want to lose you."
"Thank you Sanzo it eases my mind knowing you do this out of affection rather than obligation. I wanted to end my life because of…well so many things but the thought of hurting you tore me up. I've told you before I'd rather die than harm you." He trailed his fingers down my back.
"I know, you haven't and won't betray me Hakkai." I finished my smoke in silence and then turned to him. "You know you can come to me in human form. It doesn't have to get to this point before you seek me out." There that was as close as I was willing to come to saying I care.
Hakkai kissed me tenderly. "I appreciate that and I care for you too Sanzo."
"Just don't let the others know, they will think I've gone soft."
Hakkai chuckled warmly and nodded. "Your secrets are safe with me Sanzo, all of them." He winked and headed back to camp.
I sighed and leaned back against the tree. Hakkai was too smart he knew I loved him, but at least he was also smart enough to keep it to himself. It was full dark before I wandered back to the camp. I didn't want Gojyo seeing me before I could get my spare robe on.
"No need to hide monk I saw Hakkai. He looks a bit blissed out and I figure you are the cause. What I haven't figured out is why you." He drawled in that annoying way.
I gave up on looking for my robe and faced the red head. "Look asshole; don't go bothering Hakkai about this shit alright. It's consensual and that's all you need to know. Just because you didn't get into his bed first doesn't mean it's any of your business."
"Whoa there priesty I just want to make sure my best friend wasn't getting played by a grumpy old man." He pulled me away from camp. "I saw you guys…and don't worry I sent the monkey back to camp. But fuck man how can you let him do that to you? It's got to hurt. or maybe you like it that way."
"Gojyo what the hell are you saying? It is none of your business what I do with Hakkai." I so did not want to have this conversation.
"All I'm saying is he's a crazy bastard and I hope you are strong enough to handle it." He leaned in a little too close. "Was fucking hot though..Hakkai is too pretty for a man, makes me hard just thinking about the little scene."
"Stop right there kappa. Hakkai is mine and don't you dare touch him." I growled out possessively.
He put his hands up and grinned. "Alright man, but can't stop me from thinking about you two."
"Get away from me and go to bed." I stomped back to camp and slipped into Hakkai's tent.
"Gojyo caught you didn't he?" He said sleepily.
"Yeah and I warned him to keep his distance, I don't play for an uninvited audience. " I lay down on my back and he rolled to look at me.
"It will be fine, he's just protective. He cares for you too Sanzo even if you don't want him to." Hakkai put a hand on my stomach and sighed. "I'll talk to him later."
"Do what you want Hakkai." I pulled a blanket over me.
"You are staying here Sanzo?" He scooted closer for warmth.
"Might as well I'm too tired to move." I let him curl up since no one could see us.
"Good, I hate sleeping alone." He muttered into my shoulder and eased into sleep.
"Yeah me too."
