"The right thing to do"

by Schillok

Disclaimer: This is just a fanfic. I had just the idea to this story, characters and scenario all belong to Aoyama Gosho.


It was over. Finally over. The Black Organization was no more, its members either arrested, dead or hiding from the police. They posed no danger anymore.
And Haibara had successfully developed an antidote, a cure against the second childhood, the chance to return back into the body of a teenager. But unfortunately this happened right before the destruction of the Black Organization, before her abduction, and before she could save her data onto another computer. Ai got rescued, but both the completed antitoxin and the data were lost... or so everyone thought.

Ayumi sat in her room, her desk lamp as the only source of light. On the desk lay a photo, depicting 5 children. Ayumi and the other Detective Boys. Mitsuhiko and Genta as well as Conan and Ai... who were in fact no real children.
Too much had happened during the past days, both could not keep their secret a secret any longer. Now the three children knew of the Black Organization, the shrinking poison, the missing highschool-detective and the scientist who left the Organization. They knew everything.


Something else troubled Ayumi. A secret from which only she knew something up to now.
From the top drawer of her desk, hidden behind some booklets, she retrieved a small jar, opened it and carefully dropped its content next to the picture on her desk. An innocent looking capsule... that she had picked up during her rescue from the burning laboratory of the Black Organization. A capsule filled with the antidote, that everyone considered as lost forever.

What should she do?
This capsule could turn Conan back into Shinichi... But then Conan would cease to exist and she could never be with him together again. No more shared adventures, no more exciting cases, no more being together. Her first love would be over before it even begun.
Actually it was really simple... she only would have to throw the capsule away, never telling anybody that it existed in the first place – then Conan would stay with her. She could be with him, every day in school, after school or on one of those tours with the professor. That antidote... she only needed to...

No, she could never do that. How could she throw that thing away, the thing that Conan wanted more than anything else in the world? How could she even think of it?
Probably there was nothing Conan wished more for than this antidote. And she was the only person who had it. If he knew that she could save this capsule, then he would certainly reward her for it! Surely he would do anything she could think of.
They could go to the movies, just the two of them. Or into an amusement park! Or even in a restaurant, on a real date just like on TV! She could fulfill her greatest dream, whatever she could think of.
But afterwards it would be over. Afterwards he would be gone forever...

Well, she didn't have to throw the capsule away, she could just keep it and stay silent. Then she would have time to win Conan's heart... she just had to become smarter... yes, and stronger, just like Ran. And prettier, taller, like a real woman and then Conan just had to notice her and fall in love with her and then he would want to remain as Conan and then he wouldn't need that stupid antidote any more and then...
Ayumi's heart raced, she started crying and looked at her beloved Conan on that photo. This was just stupid... Nothing more than a desperate dream. But nevertheless she couldn't stop clutching onto that tiny hope.

Ayumi wiped her tears off. No, she couldn't do that.
She looked at the capsule on her desk, hoping that it would have disappeared into thin air. But as expected it still lay there.
Perhaps she should hide the capsule somewhere? And then she could make some hints and then she, Conan and the other Detective Boys could go on a treasure hunt! Conan had always taken part in their treasure hunts, for treasures they wanted. Actionfigures, sweets, toys... but this time the treasure would be for him, just for him, the treasure he wanted more than anything else. And she and the others could have a great treasure hunt, something that they would always remember.

But Conan was much too smart. He would solve the clues of a mere first-grader like her in no time, it would be much too easy, not exciting and much too short.
She could ask the professor! Or even better, Shinichi's father. He was a famous mystery author, certainly he could make some tricky riddles and organize an amazing treasure hunt. Maybe Conan would never solve one of those riddles and then he would stay with her forever and...

Ayumi started smiling. Impossible. Conan could do anything, there was no riddle that he couldn't solve. After all, he was almost an adult.
Almost an adult... and adults didn't go on treasure hunts just for the fun of it. Conan might not enjoy it... and then he might hate her, because she forced him to it.
Conan... hate her. Ayumi got even sadder. That would be the worst, the absolutely worst thing she could ever think off.

Absentmindedly Ayumi touched the capsule again and again, before she put it back into the small glass jar. She had not gotten any step further...


During the night Ayumi made her decision. A meeting with Conan. Just the two of them.
And there she was. Alone with Conan – and she didn't know what to say.
Slowly Conan became impatient, while she had no idea how to start.

„I want to thank you how you saved me from that Black Organization", she finally burst out.
Conan looked at her for a moment and waved aside. Don't mention it.
„When these men kidnapped me... me and Ai-chan... Conan-kun, I was so afraid. I wished that somebody would come to rescue us. And at the same time I knew that you would save us. I just knew that you...", Ayumi continued talking. She just didn't manage to get to the point.
Conan remained silent and finally turned away. When Ayumi told him that she needed to talk to him he had the feeling that it was something important. But she had already thanked him before, on several occasions. And every time it reminded him too much of last week, of things he wanted to suppress as fast as he could. He just wanted to forget them.

Ayumi held him on his wrist. „You're sad because of the antidote, aren't you?", she asked in a low voice. „Of course I am!", he snapped back, but quickly calmed himself again. Why couldn't this conversation be over already?
„Wait, I... I" – Ayumi falltered. Should she really do this? Maybe this wasn't the right moment, maybe she should think about it once again, maybe there was a perfect solution for everything? Just another day, maybe then...
Ayumi could feel how Conan squirmed from her grasp. She could just let him go, as if nothing happened. All she had to do was to remain silent.

...
„I have one of these capsules!", Ayumi finally called aloud, after she had gathered all her courage. Quickly she fetched the jar with the medicine from the breast pocket of her jacket. Conan looked at her unbelievingly.
„During the fire... it lay on the table", Ayumi continued hesitant, while Conan's hands approached slowly and trembling towards the tiny jar.
„I knew it was important...", she added quietly. Conan didn't seem to hear her, he was only concentrating to touch the glass jar, as if he wanted to convince himself that it wasn't an illusion.
Ayumi hesitated, she held the jar tighter as if she feared that Conan might suddenly tear it out of her hand. But then she loosened her grip, more and more, until she released it completely.
„... important for you...", she just whispered.

There where so many things that she wanted to say, too many things. Thousand thoughts wanted to be vocalized at the same time. And she could feel it – that terrible feeling deep within her chest, squeezing her heart... that feeling of sadness.
She couldn't say anything.
But even if she had said something, Conan probably wouldn't have listened to it anyway. He had only been gazing at the tiny capsule inside the glass jar. Finally he clasped the jar firmly with his hand and ran as fast as he could into the direction to professor Agasa's house... and his own house.
Ayumi watched him silently.
Even long after he disappeared from her view.
...but that feeling in her chest wouldn't stop.


- epilog -

A few days had passed since then. Ayumi satat her desk again, again with the picture of her and the other Detective Boys laying on top of it.

Right the day after she had given away the capsule Conan hadn't come to school. Ai had informed her that he was already Shinichi again.
Since then Genta and Mitsuhiko had tried several times to cheer Ayumi up again. To no avail. When they noticed that their attempts made her rather even sadder, they had stopped trying it. „She needs some time for herself", Ai explained them. And also Shinichi had not contacted her yet.

„Conan-kun...", she sighed and looked at the picture once again. Conan didn't exist anymore. She knew that the moment she lost sight of him with the antidote. But now, now as she really experienced his absence, it was even more painful.
No common treasure hunt, no common date and most important no Conan...
She had done what she deemed to be the right thing to do. What her feeling told her.
But this feeling could... not comfort her. Not at all.