My wonderful girlfriend Rian and I came up with this wacky idea, I will update soon if it is met with approval!

Midnight Mayhem

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the other assorted friends had been having a wonderful time celebrating Hermione's birthday in the Gryffindor common room when the clock in the tower struck twelve. Its BONGS reverberated through the room, an unusual occurrence since muffling charms were in place on all the tower windows.

"Bloody hell!" exclaimed Ron, temporarily diverted from trying to wriggle closer to Hermione as she scooted insistently away. "What's with the bells? What the hell is wrong with the bells? Hells bells…" he giggled insanely. He was, of course, very drunk. So was nearly everyone else.

BONG!..."Nine"…BONG!..."Ten"…BONG!..."Eleven"…BONG!..."Twelve! Happy birthday, 'Mione! Congratulations on coming of age!" Harry toasted his best friend with a glass of contraband firewhiskey—a present from Fred and George.

At precisely that moment, the door flew open with a crash, causing girls to shriek and Ron to drop the entire bottle of whiskey, letting it shatter on the floor. Professor Snape stood in the doorway, glowering with sheer menace at the tableaux. Oh shit!!! Harry thought. We're all going to get kicked out or have detention for the rest of our lives!

But Snape did not say anything, nor did he look at Harry or Ron or the broken whiskey bottle. Instead, he strode across the room, his cloak billowing, and in one swift move, scooped up the birthday girl and flung her over his shoulder. Hermione yelped, then groaned and hid her face against his back, but she didn't protest as the Potions Master stalked from the room, carrying her away with him. The girls burst into hysterical laughter. Ron stood in a puddle of booze, completely gobmsacked. "Wh-where's she going?" he asked in a small voice.

"His bedroom, I would guess" Harry guffawed. "God, Ron! You are so clueless!"

"B-bu-but-but—"

"C'mon. Ron" Susan Bones grabbed the redhead's arm and steered him to the couch. "Let Auntie Su tell you the whole story. They are in love. They fell in love last term, but he wouldn't touch her because she was underage and his student. She said she didn't give a damn about either one, but he said not until she was eighteen and not one moment sooner. She said all right but not one minute later, either."

"But he's…Snape."

"I know" Susan patted Ron's knee comfortingly. "But there's no accounting for taste, is there? And now, having said that, d'you fancy a snog, Weasley?"

Ron's open mouth was threatening to send Harry into hysterics, but Susan (sensible girl that she was), used the situation to her advantage, giving Ron a firm kiss. After sitting frozen in shock for a few minutes, Ron wrapped his arms around her and soon a spirited necking session had ensued. Still laughing, Harry excused himself.

He headed for the prefect's bath. Ron always made sure to give him the password and Harry preferred the privacy. However, he soon found that luck was not with him. No sooner had he entered the bathroom then he came face to face with a towel-clad Draco Malfoy. "Hello, Potter. Come to indulge in a bit of perversion?"

"Is that an offer?" Harry rolled his eyes.

"You wish."

"No thanks. I don't boink Slytherins."

Draco smirked and stalked forward, his towel "accidently" slipping along the way, "Are you sure about that? We can be rather… persuasive"

TBC