Instincts
(Ah, happy birthday Byakuya! Some creepy As Nodt/Bya, a new one for me, ending with sweet Bya/Ren! I've been wanting to write this for a while, and the current chapter of the manga gave me a nudge! Enjoy, and don't read it alone at night! lol)
By Spunky0ne
He gave me no answer, Byakuya thought numbly, gazing in the direction that Ichigo had gone, but it is all right. That is just how he is. Even if you don't answer, I know...
I leave it to you, Kurosaki Ichigo.
The words, even spoken only in his mind were like the release of a great weight. He wondered as the last of his strength seeped away and his legs began to collapse how long he had carried that weight. The question started in the back of his mind, then blossomed and grew larger and louder as he slid to the ground and heard the warning crack of Senbonzakura's hilt as it shattered.
Yes, whispered a darker voice in the back of his mind, fear is a weight you have carried for too long.
Byakuya could register just enough feeling to know that he had fallen to the ground and that rain was coming down, adding to the weight of his blood-soaked haori and running along the tumbled strands of blood spattered raven hair. The wounds stung as the water ran in rivulets along his exposed skin, teasing cuts that numbered so many that he wondered that he was still in one piece.
So many hurts on my body, he mused.
Now it matches your heart, ne? that darker voice hissed.
Who are you? Byakuya wondered, his mind spinning as he tried to remain conscious.
But the cold around him, the touches of rain, even the hurts from his battle were seeping away with his blood. And it wasn't just his body that felt empty. His heart was a drained and useless chamber that had lost its beat.
I really am dying, he mused silently.
Undone by fear and now dying lonely, whispered that other voice, What a sad fate, Byakuya. But, even though you are going to die, I promise you, you will not be alone. I am still in possession of a part of your soul.
A feeling like ice passed through the fallen shinigami's core.
As Nodt? Even now? But...I suppose that makes sense. I felt his reiatsu enter my body. It found its way into my heart and emptied it of everything else. A last cruelty to spend my final moments being tormented by the one who finally killed me?
He thought he heard voices around him and registered his body being carefully lifted. He might have made a sound of pain as the arriving healers moved him, but then something stung his skin and he sank down into a more comfortable darkness. He could tell that his body was inhaling and exhaling, but he knew that the state he was in was precarious and that it was unlikely he would survive. And as he continued to float in and out of awareness, he heard a male voice confirm his fears.
You can't heal him. You can't, so I will.
He drifted out again, his only awareness an impression of icy hands clasping him and holding him against a body that held no warmth. Then, his injured and dying body splashed down into hot water, and he wondered if he had only imagined those icy cold hands. But then an equally icy voice sounded in defiance.
I am not letting you go. You are mine now.
Come...
Those cold hands touched him again, pulling at him, dragging him down deeper into the abyss that wanted to claim him. He was breathing in the warm water he laid in now, and he was aware of the others around him.
Ichigo.
Rukia.
Renji.
His heart strengthened, feeling that they were close to him and still alive. But, feeling his will begin to assert itself, that darkness inside him yanked down on him again, pulling him inward and shutting away his awareness of those other souls.
There was only one soul close to his now.
As Nodt...
"Open your eyes," the dark voice said more clearly.
Byakuya's eyes opened into bare slits and he gave a gasp at finding himself lying in As Nodt's arms.
"This is not real," he whispered, his bleeding lips barely moving, "You are not real."
"I am not real, you say?" As Nodt asked softly, caressing the cuts on Byakuya's still comely face, "Where did you get that idea, Kuchiki Byakuya? Did you not feel me pull your soul away from them? I stole your Senbonzakura...and that means that I stole what is closest to your heart. A shinigami's power is, at the core, a reflection of one's heart that longs to protect something...or someone. When I stole Senbonzakura, your heart became one with mine."
"You have no heart!"
"Is that what you think?" As Nodt asked, looking down into the noble's widened eyes, "You call me 'evil,' and you vilify me, but although you deny I have a heart, you feel it, don't you? It is wrapped tightly around you and holds you away from them. In the end, you will die and all you are will belong to me...until I too die and all is given to the master, Juha Bach."
Byakuya started to object, but As Nodt's icy fingers stopped his lips.
"But enough about that. We have some time together now, while they struggle to save you. I am not displeased. It would have been too fast, had you just died when I struck you down. This way, we can ease each others' loneliness for a bit, ne?"
Byakuya looked up into As Nodt's large, black eyes and felt as though he was falling into a pitch black sea. Those empty eyes betrayed a smile that was hidden beneath the armored mask on the quincy's face.
"I did not know a monster like you experienced loneliness," Byakuya whispered, helpless to move as the quincy caressed the drying cuts on his face.
"Of course I am lonely," As Nodt confessed, "My power is fear. And people do not want to face fear, not even if it makes them grow stronger. And even if not for that, what is concealed beneath this mask would make anyone's blood turn to ice."
"You are...disfigured?" Byakuya asked.
"Yes. Horribly so. Would you like to see?"
Byakuya stared up at the quincy, unable to answer.
Not waiting for a response, the quincy raised a clawed hand and slowly removed the mask, revealing a face that once might have been as lovely as his, but had been unmercifully scarred and pitted. But as much as the sight was horrible and as much as it made him want to turn away, Byakuya only looked up at his captor with calm eyes, then started to reach a hand up to touch the other man's face.
Then he remembered that arm was missing its hand...
He heard As Nodt snicker.
"You and I are much more alike than you know," the quincy whispered into his ear, "We used to be beautiful, but we were hated and we were cut and burned until we looked like this!"
Byakuya caught his breath softly.
"Someone did this to you?" he asked, "Why?"
As Nodt's ruined lips smiled.
"Fear," he said in a low, malevolent voice.
He laid down alongside Byakuya's frozen body, opening their clothing.
"Even before I looked like this, people feared me," As Nodt explained, "Some looked at me and feared that I looked different or dangerous. Some worried that I would deceive them. Some worried I would hurt them or steal something that meant very much to them. So...no one came near...save one."
As Nodt bent close over the noble's body, breathing in the coppery scent of his spilled blood. He ran his tongue slowly along the length of Byakuya's pale throat, savoring the area and smiling more widely.
"He was beautiful, like me and he didn't seem like the others. He had a kind heart and he approached me and offered his friendship. We became inseparable and in time, we fell in love."
Byakuya quivered as the quincy's hands lazily explored him.
"What happened?" he asked, as much to find an opening to escape as to know.
But As Nodt seemed caught up in the telling of his tale and seemed not to notice.
"The others feared that I would hurt him," the quincy went on, his marred body becoming aroused as he touched and caressed his immobile captive, "They planned to take him away. They broke into our home in the dead of night, coming from out of the shadows and tearing him away from me. And to be sure I did not follow, one of them impaled me through the heart, leaving me on our bed, bleeding to death as they dragged my lover away."
"That sounds horrid," Byakuya said solemnly, feeling just the slightest bit of his ability to move returning.
"I laid there bleeding," the quincy went on, "and as I was dying, I smelled smoke and realized they had set the house ablaze. I believed myself lost, and so it seemed that I was. The fire burned me and my blood ran out. I felt cold inside and I stopped breathing."
"Kami!" Byakuya gasped, despite himself, "How did you survive?"
As Nodt gave him a chilling smile.
"His majesty, Juha Bach appeared out of the flames. He picked up my defiled body and carried me to his palace, where he healed me and promised to give me a power that would stop anyone from taking away what is mine again."
"Fear," Byakuya whispered, shivering as the quincy's fingers traced his lips, then his deformed lips followed.
"Yessssss," As Nodt hissed softly, kissing, then licking the noble's lips, "I became the monster they had feared so much that they had attacked someone weaker than them, who never hurt anyone. And now, what I make my own, no one can take away."
He paused, then slid a hand down Byakuya's tattered body and sought his nether region.
"No!" Byakuya gasped, struggling weakly, "Don't...don't touch me!"
As Nodt's wicked laughter sent chills running up and down Byakuya's spine.
"You belong to me, Kuchiki Byakuya!" the quincy exclaimed, holding down one slender wrist and trapping the remains of his other arm, "I made you mine through fear! And what I make mine, no one can take away from me! Let them come! Let them try! All of them are not enough to pry you away from me!
"N-no!" Byakuya cried more loudly, "No! Let go! Let go of me!"
He screamed as clawed fingers dug into his skin, his mind spinning as he desperately sought a means of escape. As Nodt's powerful body trapped his and the quincy glared down at him as he prepared to make their bodies one.
Wait! Byakuya thought to himself suddenly, What did he say before? He said that all of them weren't enough...
He ignored the body that had trapped his, the foul breath that touched his skin, the pain as time ran out and the quincy positioned himself.
"Ichigo," Byakuya whispered, too softly for As Nodt to hear, "Rukia...Renji!"
Byakuya felt strange flickers of warmth around his freezing form, a warmth that touched his skin and seeped inside, melting the ice that had formed there. He felt his body being launched through the air, then splashing down into something thick and hot and bubbling. New strength filled him and he pushed the quincy's touch and voice away. He heard another male voice then, telling him to fight harder if he wanted any damned chance of living.
As Nodt's voice returned in a huge, vicious swell, drowning out the other man's voice as Byakuya's body was dragged from the second hot pool and thrown back down into the first. He felt again, the sensation that everything was being sucked out of his body and he felt the urge to fight it. But there was something in the warmth of the water around him, in the other presences that still registered, even as As Nodt tore at his mind, trying to pull him away again.
"All of them aren't enough to take you away from me!" As Nodt shrieked, "You are mine, Kuchiki Byakuya! You are MINE!"
As Nodt's icy, clawed hand gripped his tightly, dragging him down into the blackness again.
"ICHIGO! RUKIA! RENJI!" Byakuya screamed, reaching out with what was left of his free arm.
He realized very suddenly that something was different. A rough, calloused hand had reached out and captured the one of his that he was sure that he had lost in the battle. He cracked his eyes opened very slightly, and he could see that he laid in a hot spring. Submerged under the water, he saw his healing body suspended, and hovering close, a handsomely naked, tattooed male body surrounded by swirls of lovely, crimson hair.
"Renji!" he mouthed, moving his newly restored fingers.
He held to that strong hand as As Nodt's voice rose up in his mind, screeching with hatred and fury at having been denied his prize. His claws tried to dig in and yank the noble away, but Renji's hand held on more firmly, refusing to let go. And as the warm, healing water sucked away the last of the reiatsu that the wicked quincy had used to corrupt his body, Byakuya squeezed the redhead's hand, and his lips smiled gratefully.
He lapsed into a deep, restorative sleep as the healing continued, his mind quiet and restful for the first time since his injury at the hands of the quincy, As Nodt.
When Byakuya woke next and sat up in the water, his three companions were gone and he was alone with the royal guardsman, Kirinji. The guardsman looked him over briefly and smiled.
"You take long baths," he commented, "That's the longest anyone's spent in my pools. So, how are you? Feeling a little dizzy?"
"Not to worry," Byakuya said softly, "I understand that I still haven't the strength to get dizzy. But...having survived to this point, I will strive to achieve again a level of power worthy of making me feel dizzy."
He heard the guardsman laugh as he began to collapse, then felt himself being caught up and carried off to the next palace. After being fed to within an inch of his life, he was laid down and allowed to sleep for the first time in days. His sleep was restful, and the only dream he had was of Renji, suspended in the water above him, the swirls of red hair all around him and his hand holding tightly to Byakuya's. When he finally woke again, he was smiling.
"That must have been a good dream, Taichou," Renji's voice said, startling him into greater wakefulness.
"Renji!" he managed, sitting up and staring at the fully healed and strangely garbed redhead.
"Welcome back, Taichou," Renji said warmly, moving closer and taking one slender, pale hand in his, "Are you feeling better?"
"I am now," Byakuya said, feeling a blush rise on his cheeks as he remembered that in his dream, he had seen Renji's handsome, tattooed body completely naked, "You seem to have been restored as well."
He frowned and reached out to touch the hilt of Renji's sword.
"Renji," he mused, feeling the hot swell of reiatsu that billowed within, "Your bankai has been..."
"Reforged," Renji confirmed, "I'm ready, Taichou. I'm going back and teaching those bastards a thing or two about fighting. But, before I go, there's something I need to give back to you."
The redhead extended a hand and Byakuya stared at the small, black pill that laid in his palm. He reached out a fingertip to touch it and watched as it dissolved into his hand. Tears came to his eyes as a familiar voice rose up in his mind.
Master!
"Senbonzakura!" Byakuya whispered, his eyes rounding.
"Yeah," Renji said, smiling at him, "Kirinji healed you, Kirio powered you up, and now Kisuke made that pill to bring back what that bastard stole from you."
Renji sucked in a surprised breath and froze as Byakuya's restored hand reached up to touch his face.
"They healed and restored me, but they are not the ones who saved me," Byakuya said, his eyes locking on the stunned redhead's, "When I was nearly lost, I called out to you, and it was your hand that pulled me back. You saved me, Renji...so that they could heal me."
The redhead blushed and his hand quivered slightly in Byakuya's.
"Well...you know, don't you? Taichou, whenever you call for me, I will be there for you. I swear it."
Byakuya smiled, earning another shocked reaction from the redhead as the noble leaned forward, seeking his lips. And as strong as he was, Renji felt fireworks shake him to the core as those petal-soft lips met his.
"Arigatou, Renji."
"Heh," Renji laughed weakly, "No problem, but...I think I need some more of Kirio's food..."
XXXXXXXXXX
Far beneath them, in what had once been the Seireitei, but now housed only the deepest enemy territory, As nodt paused and looked up into the sky, a void opening up in his heart as Senbonzakura's furious howl faded from his mind. His black eyes blinked and he put a hand to his chest.
"L-lonely," he rasped softly, "I am lonely. Kuchiki Byakuya, WHERE ARE YOU!"
