The Single Weakness

It was a bad situation any way that she looked at it. From the blood pooling down her arm, to the soft fingertips caressing away the gash, nothing good could come of this. There were no words of apology for screwing up on the battle field, training or not. It was just bad luck, but, it was also completely embarrassing.

Sakura hated being a letdown. She didn't want to be one, and chose to become a medical ninja so that she could learn to be an asset to the team. She had dreams of becoming a powerful one who could carry her own weight, and maybe if she was lucky enough, the burdens of others too.

She may have been young, but so was no younger than other kunoichi, who were far better fighters, teachers, defenders, and even medics. As she rested in the hospital bed, Sakura cursed to herself, eyes stinging with tears she wouldn't let fall.

A medical ninja, who couldn't even take care of herself? There was nothing worse than that. Nothing worse, except seeing the pained look that Tsunade shot at her. Those brown eyes could be so many things, icy cold, and fiery hot. Sakura had seen it all. Even that distance gaze, aloof, indifferent, and entirely professional. That distance separated teacher from student, a frozen, unspoken rage.

It bothered Sakura, and she translated it immediately to disappointment.

"You've been distracted," the busty woman said slowly, gauging her student's reaction. "I think I've told you this before, but you've got to be able to defend yourself. If get hurt, who will be there to look after your team?"

"I know," was all that Sakura could manage to say as she shut her eyes tightly. "I've just…I've had some things on my mind recently, that's all."

"No one wants to see you end up like this."

"Yeah, I'll do better next time."

"Sakura," Tsunade barked, knowing the girl was hardheaded to a fault. To get through to her, sometimes she had to get up close and personal. "It's always next time with you, but one day, there won't be a next time. One day, that'll be it, and you'll be gone. That's the life all shinobi face."

Sakura swallowed hard, blinking away the harshness in that otherwise whispered tone. Tsunade had her right where she wanted her, stuck in a grip that forced them to make eye contact. Sakura flinched at the fingers upon her chin, holding her just so. It hard to stay like that, so close and yet so far away.

"I told you, I know that," Sakura ripped herself out of that too strong, yet gentle grip. "Like Naruto, I have my own goals. I won't get killed before I see them through."

It didn't take a genius to find out what had been on Sakura's mind. All it took was a little bit of wisdom, and a lot old fond memories. The look of shame in her eyes, watching the turned backs of everyone around her, that too, was the plight of a Shinobi.

More so, it was perhaps the single weakness allowed to a kunoichi.

There were some things that could not be fixed, that time would never mend. It was a lesson Tsunade had come to learn all too well, and she hoped Sakura would learn it soon too. It wasn't all painful, but, Tsunade didn't have words for the rare joys a ninja partook from. Love, though she hated to say it, was one such rarity.

There were others that would find new purchase in time, and in faith. As she tended to the girl's injuries, she remained quiet, thinking about what to say. Young love was tender, sweet, and innocent. It was also equally dark, painful, and absolutely terrifying.

"I'm an old woman, Sakura."

Maybe it was the wrong thing to say as Sakura jolted from the words, turning to Tsunade. Shocked, it took the girl a moment to respond. "That's not-" but it was. It was exactly what Sakura had been berating herself over. The only thing she could do now was lie her ass off and hoped it worked. "I just keep trying to be as strong as you, that's all."

With Sakura's arm healed, Tsunade took a seat beside her.

"You might think that, but you don't look at me the way that you do anyone else."

"If you know the truth, then why drag it out of me?"

"I can deal with your misguided need for power, the stupid escapades to bring a comrade back, and even your desire to try and fix every little thing that goes wrong," the blonde sighed deeply. "I'm strong, and I can face all of that. However, there is one thing I simply will not tolerate. I can't handle another one of mine dying on the battle field. I've survived many things, but I've paid a great cost. You won't become another price, I won't let it happen."

"I want to be with you."

"I'm over fifty!"

"I know."

"You don't love me, Sakura."

"I don't…not…love you."

"I'm a vain old woman, who can't even protect the people that I'd like to."

"Neither can I, what does that have to do with anything?"

"It won't last," Tsunade said quietly.

"Nothing good ever does," Sakura returned just as quietly, grasping the sheets. "Does that somehow invalidate the fact that it would be good while it happens?"

There it was again, hope, prayer, need, desire, and above all completely blind determination. That heated gaze of longing, needing an answer, come whatever hell that may stem from it.

It didn't invalidate anything, but, it didn't defend Sakura's point either. It neither helped nor hindered either one of them. It wouldn't lessen the aches of old pains, nor halt the journeys already willingly set into motion.

Yet this was the single weakness allowed to a kunoichi, the weakness of feeling love openly at the cost of everything. To express that feeling without being disregarded. It meant everything in a world where emotion had long ago been called a useless thing.

Tsunade reached out, taking Sakura's hand in her own and then leaned forward to kiss the girl atop the forehead, ignoring the blush that painted the girl's cheeks as she did so. "You'd better start being more careful then. Everyone I've ever loved has died on my watch. You'd better not do the same."

"I won't," Sakura promised. "I'll stay alive, I promise."