"Julie Saracen…"

Julie looked up from the magazine she had been pretending to read and caught her breath in her throat. The last name was hardly new anymore; she and Matt were about to celebrate their third anniversary. But for some reason, the way it flowed off the tongue of the nurse made her question whether or not she was the person being called back to the exam room.

She returned the magazine to the small end table next to her and gathered her belongings before following the nurse. Her stomach was turning with anxiety while the older woman took her vitals and instructed her to wait for the doctor. She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and read a text message from Matt.

Everything is packed up and the airport shuttle is picking us up at 6. Good luck at your meeting! Love you.

The nausea she had been feeling all day threatened to overtake her when she read her husband's good luck message. She had told him she had a meeting after work with a set of angry parents who were disputing the grade she gave their son on a paper. She lied to her husband, and she hated herself for it.

The knock on the door caused her to shove her phone back into her bag. She granted the doctor permission to come in and wrung her hands together.

"It's good to see you, Julie," the doctor greeted as she took a seat across from her. "Is your husband going to be joining us?"

Julie shook her head. "No."

"Oh, well, I only ask because usually in these situations, it's nice for my patients to have the support of their partners. Maybe we should reschedule the procedure for another time when he can be here?"

"We don't need to reschedule," Julie clarified with a shaky voice.

"Are you sure? Because you should really have someone drive you home afterw –"

"I'm not having the procedure done," she interrupted, "Not today, not at all."

The doctor vocalized her disapproval with a loud sigh. "Julie, I understand that this has to be incredibly difficult for you and your husband. Believe me, I hated having to tell you that your body won't be able to support this pregnancy. Maybe we should recap that conversation."

"Believe me, I remember everything you said," Julie cut her off. "My heart is messed up, or damaged, or whatever word you want to use for it. If I try to carry this baby – mine and Matt's baby – to term, my defective heart will have too much stress on it and I could have a heart attack."

"A fatal heart attack, Julie. Not only would your child be in jeopardy, but you would be too."

"But it's not a guarantee, right? I could make it through this pregnancy with no complications and deliver a healthy baby in seven months. You said that's a possibility."

The other woman groaned. "There are never any guarantees in medicine. But there are probabilities, and unfortunately, the chance of you having that happy outcome you're talking about is less than 20%."

Julie wiped away a tear that had surfaced from her cheek. "Matt and I weren't trying to get pregnant. It just kind of happened, you know? We were using protection, so the probability of us making a baby was like less than 2% or something. So it's kind of a miracle, right? We beat those odds, and I feel like we can beat your 20%."

The doctor handed her a tissue before continuing. "Did your husband read the materials I gave you? They detail the risks involved with continuing this pregnancy with incredible accuracy. Perhaps he could join us for more discussion before we reach a final decision about whether or not to end this pregnancy."

The doctor's words stung, and Julie was unable to hold back the rest of the tears that she had been harboring. She shook her head to respond to the question. "I didn't tell Matt about this."

"At the risk of lecturing you, Julie, you're going to have to tell your husband about the risks associated with this pregnancy. It's not fair to let him think that you're going to be able to carry to term without complication."

"He doesn't think anything," Julie continued, catching her breath. "I haven't told him about the pregnancy yet. I came in last week to make sure the home pregnancy test wasn't giving off a false positive before I told him, and then you gave me this ridiculous situation and I haven't really been able to figure out how to tell Matt."

"Well you need to tell him soon," the doctor instructed. "Because every day that passes until we go through with the procedure puts you more at risk."


Matt glanced at his wife, who was silently staring out the passenger side window of their rental car. She had been particularly quiet throughout their flight, which was definitely out of character. Julie was a nervous flyer, which meant they usually chatted nonstop to keep her calm. He knew that the trip to Dillon for Christmas was bittersweet for her. As much as she loved going back to visit his grandmother and their friends, she was still not used to alternating holidays and missing Christmas with her parents and sister.

"Are you okay?" he questioned.

"Hm?" she replied, obviously coming out of a trance.

"I guess that's my answer," he chuckled. "You have been really quiet all night. Are you sure you want to go to this party at Riggins' house? We could just go straight to Grandma's."

"No, it's fine. We should totally go," she assured him. "I'm just a little tired."

He frowned as he pulled off of the interstate to head into Dillon. While he was looking forward to seeing a number of their friends at Tim Riggins' annual pre-Christmas party, he questioned whether or not Julie was really up for it.

She had just completed her first semester of teaching journalism at a college preparatory school in Chicago. On top of that, she was freelance writing for numerous publications across the Midwest. She had insisted on taking on a second job to help save up for a bigger apartment. While his job at the art gallery was going really well and he had been able to sell a few paintings in the last month, they were still adjusting to the higher cost of living in Chicago. Teaching brought on a whole new level of exhaustion, and Matt hoped to make enough money in the coming months so that he could convince his wife that it wouldn't be necessary for the long term.

"You said your meeting went well, right?"

She twirled a piece of her hair between her fingers and nodded, which gave Matt the confirmation he was looking for. She was definitely covering something.

"Okay, now I know something is going on," he pulled the car to the side of the road and parked so that he could give her his full attention. "What's going on, Jules? Did something happen at your meeting?"

He watched her slowly exhale and bite her lower lip. Whatever was on her mind was obviously bothering her. He removed his seatbelt and turned to face her, pulling her hand into his.

"Hey, whatever it is, I'm sure it's going to be fine. If dealing with the parents is going to be too much, you can always quit teaching. I sold another painting last week, and I'm sure I can sell some more in that showcase on New Year's Eve."

Julie glanced up at him and offered a weak smile. "No, it's not the parents. And I don't want you to worry about me teaching. I want to contribute more financially for our future. Teaching is – well, it's not my favorite thing in the world, but it is bringing in the steady income that our passions were not."

"Fair enough," Matt sighed, knowing that arguing with her would not accomplish a thing. "But if that's not what's bothering you, then what is?"

"It's Christmas, you know? I guess I'm just missing my family. My parents and Gracie, I mean… not that you and your grandma aren't my family."

"That's it?" he questioned, leaning forward and kissing her cheek. "Julie, it's okay to miss your family at Christmastime. And you can absolutely tell me if you do. You can also tell me if there's something else bothering you."

"I know," she smiled, "And I will. But for right now, we're so late for this party. I think you should start the car and get over to Tim's house before everybody else spends the whole night speculating on what took us so long to get there."

Matt leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Let 'em speculate all they want. We are back in Dillon, and I'm heading to Tim Riggins' party with the hottest girl from high school. I'm not QB1 anymore, Jules. Don't steal my thunder."


No strenuous activity. The doctor had been clear in her instructions to Julie that afternoon. It was a directive the young woman had been fully prepared to follow. At least, that had been her plan until Tim Riggins' party turned into a pickup game of football back at the high school field that had been the backdrop to her adolescence.

She had just finished convincing Matt that she was just too tired and would be fine sitting on the sideline and watching when Landry pointed out that the teams wouldn't be even unless she participated. He added the memory of the powder puff game when she ran for the winning touchdown, and that was enough to make the rest of their friends agree that their scrimmage would be a quarterback battle between Mr. and Mrs. Matt Saracen.

Julie had been able to take it relatively easy for the majority of the game. She stayed within the pocket and handed off the ball as much as possible, which was fairly easy considering she had Tim available to do most of the running. When her team was on defense, she volunteered to rush the opposing QB, knowing that Matt would inevitably outrun her before she would need to put in too much effort.

"We're down seven and this is probably our last possession," Tim instructed his team – Julie, Landry, Becky and Erin Street. "They're going to expect us to run out the clock, get to the end zone and go for two, but we're not going to do that. You know why?"

"Because you don't trust me to kick the winning field goal?" Landry questioned.

"Well, yeah, but that's not what I was getting at," Tim corrected. "We're going to go big. Get a TD on this play, follow it up with a turnover and smash it down their throats. Taylor, you remember that play you ran to crush my dreams of coaching?"

"Sure," Julie grinned. "But I don't know that it's a great idea. Can't I just go long to Erin?"

"Nah, they'll see that coming," he argued, continuing his explanation of the play to the rest of the team while Julie took a deep breath. She was always tired lately, but the feeling she had at that moment was nothing short of exhaustion. But maybe scoring the winning touchdown against former Panthers would be enough to give her an extra burst of energy.

"Don't worry, Julie," Tyra taunted from the line of scrimmage as they lined up. "Nobody expects football to be in your blood or anything."

"Ha," Julie replied with a sarcastic grin. She caught Matt's gaze and lined up;. As soon as she took the snap, she knew Tim had been right. Her teammates blocked for her perfectly and she had nothing but wide open field in front of her as she started her jog to the end zone.

"Hate to break it to you, babe, but you're all mine," Matt's voice called from behind her. She knew he was right on her tail, so she picked up her speed until she was practically sprinting over the goal line. As the rest of her teammates cheered across the field, she felt Matt's arms slip around her waist and lift her into the air.

"Trying to outdo me at QB, huh?" he laughed, spinning her around. "It's almost cute enough to make me want to let you win."

She opened her mouth to respond, but suddenly felt as if she couldn't get any oxygen. Her vision became blurred and her body practically melted against Matt's when he lowered her to the ground.

"Whoa, whoa," he soothed, moving his hands to her shoulders to help support her, "Are you alright?"

She nodded her head, but struggled to catch her breath. Blinking her eyes several times seemed to help her vision, but standing up without assistance took a few more minutes. She gasped a few more times, letting the cool winter air fill her lungs. "I-I'm fine… out of shape… but f-fine."

"Are you sure?" he questioned. She looked over his shoulder and saw their friends looking toward her with concern.

"Tired," she exhaled, doing her best to cover her lack of oxygen. "I'm-I just… need a break."

"Everything alright, Seven?" Tim called from midfield.

Matt looked at her with concern, but she waved everybody else off. She gathered every piece of composure she could and faced the group. "I just overdid it with the caffeine all day," she explained. "I guess I'm crashing."

Her husband did not seem too satisfied with that response, but she continued before he could interject. "I'll just sit this next series out. You guys don't need me on defense, anyway. I'm practically useless."

"Maybe we should just go home to Grandma's," Matt suggested as she took a step away from him toward the bench.

"Don't be ridiculous," she argued, flashing him a reassuring smile. "You're QB1, and if you don't go back out there and get another score, you'll be forever known as the man whose own wife outplayed him."

"But –"

"Matt!" Tyra called. "Time's running out. Are you gonna get over here and call a play, or am I gonna kick your butt?"

"It's fine," Julie reassured, gesturing to the bench on the sideline. "I'll be sitting right over there with Jason."

Her husband reluctantly jogged back to the rest of the group, leaving her only seconds to conjure enough strength to get herself to the sideline without passing out. She knew something was wrong. Even though she had not been the most faithful gym enthusiast, she should have been able to run seventy yards without falling apart.

She braced herself on the bench as she took her seat and reinitiated her quest for fresh air. She had forgotten Jason Street's proximity until he was holding a beer out in front of her.

"Here," he offered. "I know water is the better option for hydration, but we are at a party in Dillon. Water isn't exactly a pre-requisite. This should help a little."

"N-no thanks," she gasped, pushing the bottle back toward him.

"Want me to go over and get a light one?"

"I-I'm not," she started, shaking her head. She subconsciously moved her hand to her abdomen and rubbed it lightly. "No alcohol."

Jason obviously caught on quickly, because a massive grin spread across his face. "You're kidding? So Saracen's gonna be a dad, huh? Wow, I bet he's so exci-"

"Shh," Julie interrupted, mentally cursing herself for giving her secret away so easily to a man she hadn't seen in over two years. "Keep it down, will you?"

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry," he corrected, lowering his voice. "I didn't mean to spoil the surprise. Were you guys looking to do some big reveal? Oh man, I ruined it, didn't I?"

Julie looked up at the rest of their friends, who were fortunately running a play on the other end of the field. She exhaled slowly and finally regained the ability to take even breaths. Matt didn't hear the news that they were going to be parents from Jason Street. She still had the opportunity to tell him herself.

"No, you didn't ruin anything," she sighed. "Matt doesn't even know yet."

"Seriously?" he questioned. "Why not? Are you worried he's going to be upset, because I don't think you have anything to worry about. Saracen's a really great guy. He's going to be an incredible father, and I'm sure he'll be thrilled."

"He will be," she nodded, staring down the field at her husband. There had never been any question in her mind that her pregnancy would be the best news she could ever give Matt. It was just the rest of the story – the condition that was already causing symptoms that interfered with her life – that she couldn't bring herself to tell the only man she had ever loved.

"I just want to make sure everything is perfect before I tell him, you know? He deserves that much."