After a long and dull day of school, some free time was greatly appreciated. There was a time when it had been drilled into Jean's mind that classes were the most important part of his life, but since then he had learned better. All they did was take time away from things that truly mattered. Today he went straight home only to drop off his bookbag and grab his black guitar case, and then he went out again, straight to the hospital. He had visited Marco a lot, but this time he decided to bring more entertainment. Sometimes there were silences, and they made him uncomfortable because it gave them both time to think. He didn't want to think too much; the guitar would be a good distraction. He already knew what he was going to play too.
When he arrived he made his way straight to Marco's room and propped the guitar case against the wall. The other teen had been looking pale recently, and there was an IV sticking out of his arm. Machines were gathered around his hospital bed. Marco smiled as soon as his boyfriend entered the room. Even through all of this, it seemed he was trying to stay cheery for Jean's sake.
"Everyone told me to tell you hi," Jean said after leaning over and planting a kiss on Marco's forehead.
"I miss them. It sucks I have to be here. I wanna be able to live out whatever time I have left," Marco sighed. The way he talked so casually about it was disconcerting. His eyes fell upon the guitar case. "Seems like you brought me a present." His voice cracked a little, as it would on occasion.
"It's to hopefully make things a little less sucky. I thought you'd want to listen to something other than the five TV channels this place has." Honestly Jean had been putting this off for a while, but since things hadn't gotten any better… he wanted to make sure it happened. Marco tilted his head curiously. Then something clicked in his mind and his smile grew wider than it had in weeks.
"You mean you're gonna play the song?" he asked. Since Jean was standing close, Marco reached for him and pulled him into a hug, declaring "You're the best!" as he repeatedly kissed the top of Jean's head.
Seeing Marco smile like that was all Jean had wanted for a long time, and he grinned as he was showered with kisses. He patted one of the freckled arms encasing him.
"Yeah, I know." he chuckled. "Let me do it before I change my mind."
Marco waited eagerly as Jean retrieved the guitar from its case and sat on the edge of the hospital bed. He performed a few practice strums. "I haven't practiced it in front of anyone else, so…"
Jean began playing the tune, laughing quietly in embarrassment when he played a wrong chord, but he continued anyway. Then he took a breath to prepare himself for the first few words - they always threw him off before, but luckily this time he managed to keep his voice working right.
Love of mine,
someday you will die,
but I'll be close behind…
Within seconds, Marco was entranced by his boyfriend's singing; his jaw slacked in awe, unaware that Jean was able to sing such gentle notes. Jean got through most of the song with a small smile on his face, looking down at the guitar as he played and strummed. Near the end he lifted his gaze to see the reaction as he sang.
You and me
have seen everything to see,
from Bangkok to Calgary,
and the soles of your shoes
are all worn down.
The time for sleep is now.
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
in the blackest of rooms…
Tears started to drip down Marco's cheeks. He made a whimpering sound as he clearly tried to keep his emotions at bay and his shoulders trembled, but still his lips were curved into a quivering smile as he listened. He looked like he was trying to dam up a waterfall. Jean felt so bad for him, but at the same time he was immensely proud of himself for being able to move someone to tears. What mattered most was that Marco liked the song.
It wasn't until the final chorus that the words really hit him as he sang, but he managed to get through it while his boyfriend shook by his side.
If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied,
illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs.
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
then I'll follow you into the dark.
On "dark" his voice hitched awkwardly, and Jean could tell he was done for. He sucked in a breath and started with the last "And I'll follow you into the-" and then he couldn't finish it. He lost his control in a loud sob that he didn't mean to let out. Apparently it made Marco feel bad, because the brunette started crying louder as well - he took the guitar from Jean's hands and placed it as carefully as he could on the floor, which wasn't very gentle at all from the height of the hospital bed. Jean didn't give a damn about the guitar anymore. He allowed himself to be pulled into Marco's arms again. They both sobbed for a while, especially Marco. Jean had never seen him cry so hard in his life.
"I-I loved it. I love you," Marco hiccuped while Jean clung to his hospital gown, replying, "I love you too… I love you too…"
After they had regulated their breathing and tears, Marco said quietly, "I don't want to die alone. I want to always be with you."
"I'm gonna be beside you the whole time." Jean vowed. "You won't be alone, okay? Ever."
Marco loosened his hold on the other teen and stared at Jean, his eyes swollen and cheeks damp. Mouth opening to speak, he began with "J-Jean, I…" and then he stopped, deciding instead to pull Jean closer to kiss him desperately. Jean still clung tightly to that hospital gown. Even though he looked frail and a little pale, Marco was still warm as ever, and every kiss or touch made him melt. He brought his hand to the back of Marco's head, gripping his hair softly, trying to keep him as close as possible. When the kiss ended, Marco took a moment to breathe again before saying, "Thank you for the song, Jean."
The younger teen smiled weakly. "I'm happy you liked it. I'll play anything else you want, too," he offered, reaching for Marco's hand to hold it tightly.
"If only I had my piano, we could have a duet. We'd sound good together," he said as he brushed his thumb across Jean's hand. Jean climbed into the bed and lay half on top of him, resting his head on Marco's chest to listen to his breathing.
"Maybe I'll carry the piano here next time." he replied.
