Genre – romance/humour
Rating – T
A/N – I know! It's such a YoruSoi cliché; but I don't care :P
Disclaimer – I don't own Bleach, but if I did then you can bet that Yoruichi would show the fuck up soon!
At a Glance
"What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork." - Pearl Bailey
It was, in Yoruichi's not-so-humble opinion, far too nice a day to spend inside.
It was one of those clear, bright sunny-days that mark the height of summer; blue skies (marred by the odd fluffy white cloud), an occasional breeze (cooling and welcome) and an accompanying concerto of birds to play her through the afternoon (just the right pitch and melody to relax to). If Saturday was for play, then Sunday was for rest, and if there was one thing that Yoruichi had learned from spending decades as a cat then it was how to rest and how to relax.
Days like this were made to relax to.
Sunny afternoons were not made to spend cooped up inside, stashed behind a desk and working up a migraine. They were not made for closed windows, a stifling atmosphere and the inherent risk of death filtering on the shockingly stale air. Sunny afternoons were most definitely not made for work.
And yet, much to Yoruichi's horror and amusement, that was how the Captain of Second Division had deigned to spend her Sunday afternoon.
Yoruichi had strolled into the Second Division office only to be hit full in the face with a semi-permeable wall of humidity so dense that she had reversed straight back out again. Several deep breaths later she summoned up the will to re-enter the office. The air was so thick and cloying she had nearly gagged on it. Soi Fon was tucked behind her desk (truthfully, exactly where Yoruichi had left her several weeks ago) with a pile of papers stacked up ridiculously high and leaning in a somewhat precarious manner.
"Y'know," Yoruichi said, arms folded and leaning nonchalantly against the door frame. "One of the perks of being a Captain is delegation."
Soi Fon looked up, scowling as per usual, her grip on her pen tightening. "Yoruichi-Sama, what are you doing here?"
Ouch! Not quite the greeting Yoruichi was expecting or accustomed to. Though, in a decidedly odd way, it was a welcome change from the usual stuttering and blushing that their conversations were plagued with. Shy Soi Fon was fun; angry Soi Fon could be outright hilarious, especially when the right buttons were pushed. It was all made even more fun by the fact that Soi Fon was clearly in 'work-mode' and had narrowed her vision to only encompass the papers in front of her. The rest of the world be damned! Soi Fon was apparently determined to do the full day's work of twenty men in a single afternoon – gasp in awe at her speedy and crafty penmanship!
Marred only by her completely illegible handwriting.
Yoruichi considered it her duty as Soi Fon's former mentor, friend and occasional lover to rescue the over burdened Captain from her work and from herself. And Yoruichi knew that the best way to achieve this was by teasing Soi Fon into a state of such perplexed fury so that she would just agree with everything that the Goddess suggested.
This was going to be so much fun!
Soi Fon's eye gave a pre-emptive twitch as Yoruichi grinned at her. Closing her eyes the Goddess cocked her head to the side simply because she knew that it would annoy her former pupil to do so; and she grinned as though she didn't have a care in the world, which wasn't true despite what people seemed to think. Still, she knew that grinning in this manner would only irk the young Captain all the more, and sure enough upon opening her eyes Yoruichi was greeted with the sight of a borderline furious Soi Fon.
"Okay!" Yoruichi clapped her hands together, a bright expression on her face. "Let's go for a walk!" She spun round and pointed towards the open door, striking an exaggerated pose as though she was walking.
Soi Fon gripped her pen so tight it snapped. "Get out of my office!" She seethed in a tone that probably would have had most of her division wetting themselves in fear.
Yoruichi suppressed giggled, her tongue sticking out through her teeth and her eyes closed as she let out a gleeful "Heee!" at Soi Fon's angry tone. She was glad, however, that her back was turned so that that small girl (woman, she corrected herself, she had to stop thinking of her as a girl) couldn't see her expression of abject amusement. After all she wanted to tease her, not hurt her feelings – and gods forbid that someone (including Soi Fon herself) should realise that the Captain of the Second Division and Commander of the Onmitsukidō wasn't half as scary as the little people should think.
"My thoughts exactly," Yoruichi said looking back over her shoulder. "We should get out of the office and out into the fresh air and sunshine. We have a whole afternoon to do whatever we want in, why waste it cooped up inside." She swivelled on one foot to face Soi Fon, and crossed her arms loosely in front of her.
Soi Fon didn't look amused at all. She slowly, pushed herself to her feet; hands flat on her desk, her eyes closed and still twitching; a vein was throbbing in her forehead. Yoruichi ignored all this though, and let her gaze wander appreciatively down Soi Fon's body. She had only just noticed that Soi Fon was dressed slightly differently than she was accustomed to; her Haori was still in place, loosely tied with her yellow obi, but her kosode was missing and her arms were bare. Yoruichi smirked; she wondered if it would prove beneficial to point out that from this angle she could see right down Soi Fon's top. It would certainly irk the young Captain, but then she might also sit down and then Yoruichi wouldn't be able to enjoy the view.
Probably best to keep her mouth shut on this one then, she decided.
Soi Fon exhaled and turned her head, her face relaxed somewhat and she looked mildly disappointed. "I don't have time. You know I don't have time." Her voice was slow and deliberately steady as though she were speaking to a child, a particularly stupid child at that; though Yoruichi knew better then to let Soi Fon's tone irk her. "I have a lot of work to do. And I'm not going to let you distract me from it."
"Okay."
"I don't care what you say, I--" She paused, clearly confused, and then her brow furrowed. "What did you say?"
"I said okay," Yoruichi smiled at her. "You have a lot of work to do and I respect that. You don't mind if I stay though, do you? I'll just go sit over here." She pointed to the couch that was sidled against the wall of the office. She knew from experience that it wasn't a very comfortable couch, comfort being a luxury that Soi Fon seemed to be of the opinion she could do without, but it would do for now.
"Uh, of course," Soi Fon said looking taken aback.
"Great!" Yoruichi smiled brightly at her and crossed the room towards the couch, stopping just in front of it. She took hold of the hem of her top and slowly pulled it up, stretching her body up as she did so.
"What are you doing?" Soi Fon demanded shrilly.
"Hmm?" Yoruichi looked back over her shoulder, her top pulled halfway up her body. "Taking my clothes off."
"Why?"
"Because it's like a sauna in here," She answered fanning herself with her hand. "I thought you had air conditioning?"
"Air what?"
"You don't? I was told that the Second Division had modern conveniences. Oh well," She pointed up to the ceiling where a large stationary fan was situated. "Can I have that on?"
"It's broken."
Yoruichi turned to face Soi Fon, dropping her hands to her side, leaving her top and leaving it bunched up underneath her breasts and revealing her midriff. "What's the point in the rich lieutenant if he can't pay to fix it?"
"Uh," Soi Fon made a strange noise in her throat, high and reedy. Her eyes, Yoruichi noticed with a smug smirk, were trained on the Goddess toned stomach. "He uh," Soi Fon coughed and shook her head, looking away from Yoruichi."He doesn't have a point. And he's the one who broke it in the first place."
"Ah, okay," Yoruichi nodded sagely, understanding that if Omaeda broke the fan then chances were Soi Fon broke his jaw, which would explain his absence. "Well, how about we open the window instead?"She suggested. The office of the Second Division only had the one large window located behind the desk.
"It's jammed shut."
"Break it."
"I am not breaking my window!" The annoyed growl had returned to Soi Fon's voice with a vengeance.
"I'll break it then," Yoruichi crossed back over the room in a couple of quick strides and stopped in front of the window where raised her leg in preparation to kick it out.
Soi Fon leaped in front of the window her arms held out wide, blocking it from Yoruichi's random destruction. "You are not breaking my window!"
"Technically it's my window," Yoruichi pointed out with an all too pleasant a smile.
"You're still not breaking it!"
Yoruichi placed her foot back on the ground and tipped her head back, a catty grin spreading up her face as she looked down at Soi Fon. The small Captain's hands had dropped to her sides and were clenched into fists, she was quivering with barely subdued fury and her jaw was clenched so tight that Yoruichi could hear it creaking under the pressure.
The Goddess only smiled all the brighter for Soi Fon's look of fury.
"Fine!" Soi Fon threw her hands in the air. "I don't care what you do!" She jerked her chair back and flumped down into it, her elbows thumping down on the desk top.
Yoruichi felt suddenly disappointed and her smile faded. That wasn't how Soi Fon was meant to react; she was supposed to get all angry and indignant, she was supposed to defend her precious window, and then they were supposed to have an obligatory play fight. That was the way these things worked; Yoruichi teased, Soi Fon huffed in an adorable manner and then they rolled about in a mock fight over who got topsies. More often than not Yoruichi won these little exchanges, which was fine since she then got to make Soi Fon feel good, which made Yoruichi feel good, and so really, they both won.
Soi Fon was not supposed to give in this quickly, she was not supposed to have tucked herself back behind her desk and be picking up her broken pen in one hand and the other hand fisting into her hair, and she was definitely not supposed to be looking so completely depressed.
Something gnawed away at Yoruichi's conscious, and it felt an awful lot like guilt. She straightened out her top and then rubbed at the back of her neck, all traces of good humour leaving her.
"I was just--"
"Teasing?" Soi Fon finished for her, she sounded so bitter. "You do that a lot." She sighed and dropped her pen; it rolled across the desk and dropped to the floor with a faint clatter. Soi Fon buried her face into her hands and rubbed at her eyes with the heel of her palms. "I'm tired, Yoruichi, and I have a lot of work to do."
Yoruichi froze. Where was the honorific? She could count the number of times that Soi Fon had dropped the 'Sama' from her name in regular conversation on one hand and still have fingers to spare. She should have been elated; she had been bugging Soi Fon to drop the formality for so long now that it had lost all meaning, but something about the way she spoke her name only left her feeling cold. It didn't sound right at all.
"Hey," Yoruichi said softly. She manoeuvred round the back of Soi Fon and placed her hands on the girl's small, sturdy shoulders; she could feel the tension knotted up in the muscles. She worked her fingers and thumbs against the knots to relieve some of the tension there.
"... Yoruichi-Sama..."
"Hush," Yoruichi told her gently. She slid her arms past Soi Fon's shoulders and pulled her back into a hug, resting her chin on her shoulder. "I know that this," She gestured to the stack of unfinished papers. "Is important to you, but you can't--"
"Don't," Soi Fon shrugged her shoulders displacing Yoruichi. "I have too much work to do. You may as well leave. I'm going to be here all day."
Yoruichi rubbed at the back of her neck again, a gesture that only Soi Fon seemed to be able to coax out of her; but then Soi Fon was the only person that she had ever met that made her feel a little ...unsure... of herself.
She sighed and dropped her arms to her side. "Okay," walking round the desk and towards the door she cast a look back towards Soi Fon. "I'll see you."
Soi Fon only grunted in response.
Feeling thoroughly dejected and rejected, Yoruichi slowly walked from the Second Division office, her hands behind her head and her bottom lip stuck out in a slight pout. Soi Fon always had time for her, no matter what was happening, she made time for her. This was the first time that Soi Fon had refused to play her little games. No, she corrected herself, their games. Because she knew that Soi Fon enjoyed the teasing almost as much as she did. Yoruichi also knew that Soi Fon wasn't half as flustered by it as she pretended she was, though she was perhaps a little bemused by it at times. Really though, it was all a game so that they could enjoy each other's company without actually having to say what was really on their minds.
Or what was really in their hearts.
She stepped outside and into the bright sun and stretched, enjoying the cool breeze that washed over her. Leaving the stifling humidity of the office and then stepping back out into the moving air was comparable to being born again (silly comparison, she decided, no one remembered being born in the first place never mind again), or waking up completely refreshed from a deep sleep (something she was much more familiar with) . Her hands dropped to her sides and she scanned the courtyard; young recruits stood to perfect attention in long lines stretching from the door all the way to the huge gates of the Second Division compound. She felt sorry for all the little lined up soldiers, dressed in black and sweating away under the baking sun. At least there was a breeze to stop them from being completely overheated, and at least they were outside.
Yoruichi looked back over her shoulder and towards the door she had just exited from, and she thought of Soi Fon still trapped inside her office and working herself to the bone on menial unimportant tasks. Yoruichi just wished that Soi Fon would realise that not all work is important, that it was okay to once in a while take time off and just relax.
But then Soi Fon had always been a tense person and even as a child she had found it difficult to relax. Yoruichi couldn't even begin to count the amount of times she had told the girl to "loosen up" or "lighten up" or any number of variations of the same suggestion. It was the one 'order' Soi Fon had been completely incapable of following. Yoruichi's hundred year absence had only intensified the need in Soi Fon to work, to train, to prove herself to her supposed betters.
For Yoruichi there was regret, but she refused to feel guilty over something that had been completely out of her hands. She just wished that there had been someone, hell anyone would have done, in that hundred years to tell Soi Fon that it was okay and that she didn't have to push herself so hard.
Yoruichi laughed softly, shaking her head at her own thoughts; she knew fine well Soi Fon wouldn't have listened to them anyways.
"Stupid girl," she murmured to herself. "You just need to learn to relax."
And a whole new thought occurred to Yoruichi, it was so profound, so huge, that she was caught completely unawares by it. The thought didn't so much enter her mind, as it thumped hard into her chest, winding her, and making a small part of her lying deep and forgotten inside ache. Her eyes widened and she stared down at the ground as the thought gathered speed, as it rolled about inside her and threatened to overwhelm all other thoughts.
You just need to learn to relax
Really Yoruichi was a little unsure as to why the thought hadn't occurred to her much earlier. All those decades ago, when she had been busy training Soi Fon to kill; teaching her form with her sword, talking her through her Shikai and tutoring her Hakuda, turning her into the perfect little killing machine – it had never occurred to the Goddess to teach her student how to relax.
But then, the simple thought that perhaps Soi Fon actually didn't know how to relax hadn't ever occurred to Yoruichi.
Yoruichi gazed over the neat rows of black clad Onmitsukidō members, all so still, so perfectly disciplined and unflinching despite the obvious discomfort they must be in. She turned on her heel and flung the door open, marching back inside the Second Division building. She didn't run, but her pace was fast as she made her way back towards the office, and she nearly knocked down a young Onmitsukidō member whom she didn't recognise (she only recognised the surviving few who had served under her) as she rounded a corner.
"Ah! My apologies Shihouin-Dono!" He called after her as though it was his fault that she had nearly knocked him down. And then he must have realised where she was going. "The Commander doesn't want to be disturbed!" He dived in front of the door. "I'm sorry!"
She eyed him and he swallowed, a bead of sweat ran down from his hairline and past his eyes. He was stooped slightly in an awkward bow and was cringing as though he expected Yoruichi to hit him for his impudence. What Yoruichi noticed most though was his age; he was shockingly young, little more than a child; but then perhaps he only seemed young to her, perhaps she really was getting old.
That was a disturbing thought to be tucked away for later scrutiny.
"Move," She told him her voice quiet but forceful.
"I – I can't," his voice had gone high and squeaky.
"I was just in there."
"I know. But she ordered me not to let anyone in once you had left."
"She didn't mean me."
"Forgive me, Shihouin-Dono, but the Commander said especially you!" He said it very quickly and very loudly as though that would somehow lesson the blow. Or make it less likely for her to put her fist right though his face. He had bowed even lower and judging by the tenseness of his shoulders he was clearly expecting the killing blow any second.
Especially me...
Yoruichi wasn't exactly sure what to make of that; Soi Fon had never refused her entry before, but then she had never sent her away before either. Really though, wasn't this the sort of thing she had been encouraging in the young Captain? To stop acting as though she was still Yoruichi's servant (though she technically still was) and to stand up for herself when she was around Yoruichi (it sounded awful when she put it like that). Yoruichi was torn between feeling proud that Soi Fon was actually asserting herself and kind of pissed off that her own advice was working against her.
She sighed, the boy in front of her flinched. Gently she placed her hand on top of his head and he whimpered in a mildly pathetic manner. Slowly he raised his head, though his eyes didn't meet hers.
"You should just stand aside," She said, not-unkindly, but letting her reiatsu flare slightly, just enough to make him go pale and tremble slightly. She pushed him to the side and his legs gave out on him and he fell to the floor looking completely worn out.
"Don't let her catch you down there," Yoruichi offered him a smile, a conciliation prize for his efforts.
He nodded slowly and managed to climb back to his feet, stumbling off down the corridor and ricocheting off of the walls like he was drunk, he was probably wondering how he had survived the encounter. Yoruichi turned back to the shoji door, squared her shoulders, and then flung it open with enough force that it bounced off of the wall and back towards her. She blocked it with a forearm and stood in the doorway a moment; Soi Fon was hunched over her work not even bothering to look up.
"What did you do to, Hasegawa?" She asked.
"That the kid you had guarding the door?"
Soi Fon didn't answer, opting instead to continue with her work.
Yoruichi shrugged. "Nothing that he won't recover from."
Soi Fon nodded, and placed her pen down on the desk. She lifted the paper she was working on, her eyes scanning it before she placed it on what Yoruichi assumed was the completed pile. Soi Fon settled her hands in front of her, her fingers laced together and only now bothering to look up at Yoruichi.
"I thought you left?"
"Clearly you didn't since you set a guard at the door to try to keep me out."
They both fell silent as they considered each other. Yoruichi crossed her arms and placed her weight on one leg, her hip sticking out slightly; a smile curved up her face. Soi Fon remained still, no expression filtered across her face and Yoruichi could see why so many subordinates faltered under her cool gaze. It didn't affect her though, she just stared right back smiling all the while.
"What--"
"Do I want?" Yoruichi finished for her. Only you, she kept the thought to herself though. "I recently decided to review your training."
"What?" Confusion flickered briefly across Soi Fon's face, quickly replaced by an annoyed scowl. "What are you talking about?"
"And after much consideration," Yoruichi continued. "I have to conclude that there is a certain area in your training that you are somewhat lacking."
Soi Fon's scowl intensified; she had now gone past annoyed and was fast approaching pissed-off. Anyone else would have shut up about now, especially since Soi Fon's eyes had changed from an icy glare to blazing anger and were attempting to melt Yoruichi with her new found retinal lasers. It wasn't so much a moment of 'if looks could kill' as 'if looks could maim and torture'. By all rights Yoruichi should have been rolling around on the ground screaming and writhing in agony.
She should have at least had the good graces to burst into flames.
But then Yoruichi wasn't so easily cowed as Soi Fon's subordinates, she knew Soi Fon too well to let the younger girl to effect her with her scowl – terrifying though it may be, and it was for all intents and purposes a truly excellent black look that would have figuratively incinerated lesser people and reduced them to years of therapy or self-imposed isolation.
The only problem with the glowering look was that it didn't work on Yoruichi.
So she ignored it; she ignored the fire in Soi Fon's eyes, the way her muscles had tensed, the hard line of her mouth (thinking of her mouth only made Yoruichi think of her lips and what they could do), and the fact that, whether intentionally or not, Soi Fon was leaking enough reiatsu to crush her lower levelled seated officers. It was thick enough so that Yoruichi could nearly see it rising off of her skin, shimmering in the light like heat off of the desert floor.
And since Soi Fon's glare still had absolutely no effect on the Goddess, Yoruichi decided to continue.
"And as your superior--"
Soi Fon, if at all possible, tensed even more at this statement (though it was technically still true). Her hand, lying flat on her desk, clenched dragging her nails across the smooth wooden surface and digging five long thin rivets into it.
"—I feel that it is my responsibility to correct this ... flaw... "
"Yoruichi-Sama!" Soi Fon growled out, her head lowering as she tensed up to the point that she risked straining a muscle. Or doing something entirely more embarrassing.
"In my capacity as head of the Shihouin family; and as your mentor, former captain, friend and occasional doinking buddy--"
Soi Fon's face went a little bit red at the last bit, and the anger was momentarily replaced with a look of ... not embarrassment, Yoruichi concluded, but perhaps shame or something along those lines. Perhaps hurt. The look was only brief, and was covered over with anger once again, though the tinge of pink to Soi Fon's cheeks remained.
"—I feel that this particular ... flaw... cannot go unnoticed any longer and must be rectified forthwith. Therefore, I request, and I ask, and I order you to come with me now so that we can--"
Go have sex, her mind unhelpfully supplied.
"—perform the necessary training to correct this."
Why, when she thought of training, did her mind immediately jump to sex? Kisuke had often cheerfully informed her that she had a one track mind, and she was starting to suspect that he was right. Though the accusation was somewhat rich coming from him, a man's who perverse nature was such that they had yet to invent a word to sufficiently cover it.
Yoruichi could hear Soi Fon's breathing long deep breaths, in through her nose and out through her mouth. Her eyes were closed and Yoruichi wondered if she was counting to ten, or performing some other calming exercise in her head. The vein on Soi Fon's forehead was still visible, though it was no longer throbbing, which Yoruichi concluded meant that she was in no immediate danger of Soi Fon attempting to kill her.
"No questions? Good!" Yoruichi crossed the office and reached across Soi Fon's desk. She seized the girl by the wrist and yanked her over the desk; the move was immediately followed by a loud 'Shrrrrkt' as Yoruichi didn't just pull Soi Fon but the whole desk as well. Soi Fon, in an apparent desperate attempt to counter Yoruichi, had grabbed hold of the edge of the desk with her free hand earning it a free trip along with its occupant.
Yoruichi tilted her head to look past Soi Fon; the heavy desk had been dragged a couple of feet along the hardwood floor, leaving long trenches in it where the legs had dug in.
"Whoops," Yoruichi laughed sheepishly and she let go of Soi Fon's wrist.
Soi Fon let out a long shaky breath, her eye was twitching and her fists were clenching and unclenching repeatedly. "If I go with you and do whatever it is you want to do, will you leave me alone and let me get on with my work?"
"Yes."
"And whatever it is you want to do, it won't take the whole day?"
"It won't."
She was lying, and Soi Fon knew she was lying, Yoruichi could see it in her eyes.
She nodded nevertheless. "Fine."
Yoruichi smiled at her and lifted her hand, brushing the back of her fingers gently across Soi Fon's cheek, causing her to inhale sharply. "I promise you this'll be worth it," Yoruichi said.
Soi Fon nodded again. "Then let's go."
Okay... Uhh... So this was originally meant to be a one shot, but then I had a serious case of writer's block and now it's a bi-shot. Hurray! I guess...
I was actually kind of drunk when I wrote part of this (actually most of it) and it probably shows. You didn't need to know that, but I felt like sharing...
Thanks for reading, and please leave a review on your way out ^^
