Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce's world!

Spring, 455 H.E

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February 28

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I have started this journal as a sort of companion to myself. I write in Common, so no one else will understand. This diary will be my only source of comfort in my despair of being married.

It has been a beautiful February. The whole village was buried in plum blossoms. Placid, windless days succeed another. And here I am, stuck in the house of my soon-to-be mother-in-law. Fortunately my dearest friend, Lady Yukimi, has come to visit me.

Lady Yukimi and I were walking along the cherry blossom garden when the most peculiar thing happened. A noji deer crossed our path. I have not seen one since I was a child, playing in a garden very similar to this one. I still remember that day very clearly, for seeing a noji deer is a rarity. I was running between the cherry trees at home, wild and free, with the Tortallan child, Keladry.

The deer observed us very calmly before walking off. Lady Yukimi turned to me and said, "Maybe the deer is wishing you luck, Princess."

I wanted to cry out, but kept my feelings calmly hidden. I fluttered my fan, themed with the blossoms of spring, and wished that it would. But Lady Yukimi always views everything as something to be celebrated. Thank goodness I have a friend in her!

Perhaps it is good luck, a sign for my up-coming marriage. May I find happiness in it after all.

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March 5

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The wind is starting to pick up a little, signs of a beautiful spring. The blossoms outside my room were breath-takingly beautiful, and their fragrance hung, thick and heavy, in the cool air. I sat outside today with Yukimi, sipping green tea, and every so once in a while the wind would blow petals into our cups. It made me want to write a poem.

But I can't, because my husband-to-be will be arriving soon. Lady Hebi is most excited. "My son is coming to visit today," she boasted. "He is one of the Emperor's greatest warriors, and you must treat him with respect. Go, silly child! Make yourself useful in the kitchen while I get ready."

I am writing this in the kitchens, as the maids have already finished their work. Yukimi is practicing with her glaive outside, but I fear to join her. Lady Hebi has already told me she finds my enjoyment of the fighting arts most un-ladylike. She waved off my protests that all the Emperor's ladies practice the glaive, and took my weapon away.

What will I do to amuse myself now?

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March 10

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My husband-to-be has come and gone. We talked little, only of matters concerning the wedding. I asked him if he might intervene with his mother and give me my glaive back. He stared at me for a long while with his beady eyes, and for a moment I thought he would strike me.

"No wife of mine will ever bear a weapon." He replied stiffly. We talked about the matter no more.

The rest of our conversations were filled with frivolous things, such as the beauty of the chrysanthemums I had planted outside. Or rather, my conversations, for my Lord Botan rarely replied. Instead he sat and looked at me in a most unsettling way.

Lady Yukimi laughed about it to me later. "Your intended is so stiff! He is like a fish that has been left out to dry in the sun for much too long."

I wanted to berate her for her tongue, but could not help but agree. Except the fish could turn in to flakes of dust in an instant and cease to exist. Lord Botan will not.

It is not that he is a cruel man. For I do not believe he is. But we are as unlike as two different species. One would not try and marry a butterfly with a dragonfly. It simply would not be so.

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March 11

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Lady Hebi shed any false niceties that were present while Yukimi was here. The moment my dear friend left she moved me from my elegant suite to a dreary room nearer to the kitchens.

"No daughter of mine will live here without earning her pay," she hissed. The venomous gleam in her eyes brought to mind a snake about to strike.

I do not know if I should mention this, but I will. I have a terrible fear of snakes, ever since my uncle's dishonor to our family. Five or six years ago, the hour before our dishonor, my mother and I were walking with the intent to cut blossoms from the star magnolia trees that grew along the lake. Along our path slithered a long black ribbon. I identified it to be a viper, but Mother thought nothing of it. She took it rather calmly, inclining her head to say that we should take a different path.

We changed direction, instead walking delicately along a white bridge that would eventually take us to our destination. I remember quite distinctly that it was a beautiful day,that the wisteria, the maple, and the cherry trees were just starting to bloom.We walked for a short time but Mother did not get very far before she fell, without a sound, when part of the bridge collapsed.

You may not believe me when I say this, but the only reason why the bridge had broken was because somehow an animal, probably a squirrel, had burrowed into the wood, decaying it. What happened next is still the part that I find hard to believe: dozens of snakes poured out, where a mother had obviously laid her eggs.

Mother almost drowned that day. In her heavy kimono she was quite unable to swim. But my cries alerted a villager nearby, who jumped in to save her.

Our troubles were not over. Upon reaching our house, we found two couriers who looked as if they carried the somber touch of bad news. Mother invited them in graciously, allowing them to rest while she read their letters.

My uncle, my father's brother, had tried to assassinate the Emperor, my mother's brother. If he had a reasonable claim to the throne, it would not have been so dishonorable. But fatherand his brotherwere relatively new nobles, only five generations old.

I still remember the last look on my Mother's face before they took me away. The evening sun struck her at an angle, making her look indescribably beautiful, but excruciatingly sad at the same time. They tell me that neither she nor my father spoke another word until their suicide.

One would think that my story with the snake ends here, but it does not. While my parents were inside, reading the letter, I stepped down into the garden. I thought I might be able to catch a fairy, the ones that inhabited my mother's garden. At least I thought they did at the time, until I grew too old for that nonsense.

I reached out to pick a rose and noticed, out of the corner of my eye, and small, black snake creeping its way across the lawn. Even today I swear that it was the very same snake that caused Mother such bad luck. I thought nothing of it, but on the way back I stole a glance to see the snake again, but it had vanished.

That was when the Emperor ordered me to live at court, and then later on with Lady Hebi. I was much too young to be considered dishonored by the assassination, and my blood was still far more valuable than my life. Ever since then I have been stuck here under Hebi's reign, serving to her every whim. It is only when her son or the Emperor's courtiers come to visit that I am treated for who I am: a Princess of high rank.

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March 14

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The most wonderful news! The Emperor has requested my presence immediately. Messengers came today, riding at a furious pace.

Maybe the noji deer has brought me luck after all.

I must pack quickly, for he expects me the day after tomorrow. Thank goodness I left much of my court clothes at the palace! I discovered quickly enough that they were quite useless out here in the country, and had them sent back.

Everything has taken on new purpose. Even the days seem to be cheerier. The sun is shining, and the crickets are chirping louder than usual. I sang softly as I prepared myself for a long journey.

I can not wait to reach the city!

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Note: I don't know the meaning of the word noji, so I apologize if it does mean something. Reviews are welcome and greatly appreciated, as are suggestions and criticism.