I'm Coming Home
This is just something I imagine is happening on the show, from Izzie's POV. I wanted to explore what exactly made her leave and where exactly she went. Hope you like this!
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's or any of its characters.
Have you ever experienced what it's like to have the whole world crushing down on you? Because I have. Because that's exactly what I'm feeling right now. As if the entire world had stood still and was swept away from under my feet by a huge hurricane. The huge hurricane being the Chief's very words 'You're Fired'.
The words are now ringing continuously on my mind....giving me tinnitus.
'You're fired….you're fired….you're fired….' the very essence of the words mocking me.
I walk in trance state down the Seattle Grace corridors. As I pass by the nurses counter, the nurses gathering there were staring at me, but I just don't care. I am in a state of disbelief now. A state of denial, one of the stages of grief. Maybe somehow I'll wake up and realize that this is all just a bad dream. A nightmare. Before this, the only time I ever heard those words 'You're Fired' was while watching 'The Apprentice'. And I found it fascinating to watch Donald Trump mention those infamous two words every week and to watch the reaction of the fired contestant. But this, I now realize, is no laughing matter.
There is no joke about it. Because I had just lost my job, lost my livelihood. What am I going to do with my life now? Ever since I stepped foot into this hospital, I never pictured myself doing any other job. Sure, I love baking, I love doing household chores, but I can't imagine myself doing these full time.
'Ouch!' I had bumped into something hard. I look up, rubbing my sore forehead. One of the new Mercy West residents, the one who was tagging along with Lexie for the entire day, holding a diary, was looking down at me, her eyes wide open.
'Oh….I'm….so so sorry….. . ' she sounded sincerely apologetic.
'It's ok' I mutter and walk away.
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I walk through the main doors of the hospital into the cool autumn breeze. I walk a few more steps, and then pause, savoring the feel of a leaf brushing against my face before dropping to the ground. I look back at the hospital, which is now looming tall and proud before me. The hospital which held many memories for me over the past years, both happy and sad memories. The place where I found a home, a family, a best friend and a husband… But right now, everything is being taken away from me. My health, my best friend, and now my job… I have lost everything in a period of a year.
And Alex, how could he do such a thing? He is my husband, I thought I had his back. But no, he just had to rat me out to the Chief…telling him I was not performing my job properly…. The more I think about it, the more angry I become.
I let out a huff, and begin walking towards the direction of the nearest bus stop. I don't know where I'm going, all I know is that I want to get as far away from this place as possible. I just want to go somewhere far, where I can just blissfully forget everything that has happened to me. I feel as if there is an external force controlling my movements.
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I see the bus stop from afar and hurry towards the bus stop in purposeful strides. The bus is already there when I reach. But oops…the doors are closing. I try to barge in, but the door slams shut in front of my face.
'Crap!' I curse out loud. In impulsive anger, I step out in front of the bus, thinking that I can stop it….
'Hey!' someone shouts. I feel someone grabbing my hand and jerking me up onto the pavement. I finally look up to see a tall, young guy, maybe in his late 20s, with dark brown hair looking at me.
' You almost got knocked down by the bus, mam', he says in a Southern drawl.
'Oh…I'm …sorry….I mean…thanks…' I mutter…
He smiles and walks away.
I see a huge built man wearing a large apron selling lemonades beside the bus stop. Ahh….lemonades, just what I need at the moment.
I walk over to him.
'Hey miss…..lemonade for you?' he smiles.
' Yes, one please'. I say.
He begins busying himself making my lemonade…
' You know miss,' he says, smiling at me 'When life throws you lemons, you make lemonade'.
I force myself to smile back….suddenly realizing how relevant his metaphor is.
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I am now finally in the bus.
' Where are you heading to?' the red haired woman sitting next to me suddenly asks, jerking me out of my trance state.
'Umm….nowhere in particular….' I reply.
She looks confused, but wisely decided not to probe further.
Instead, she extended her hand to me.
' My name is Charlotte.' She says. 'What's yours?'
' I….I….my name is….' I begin to say, but then I pause.
Oh my God. What is my name again? All of a sudden, I can't recall my name.
What is happening to me?
'I'm tired.' I finally say. 'Let me sleep.'
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I awake to the announcement that we were reaching the Seattle Central Station.
I have a feeling that I have to disembark here.
Next, I find myself standing in front of a huge map of the Seattle railway link. Then I spot something which triggers my memory. It is the name of my hometown.
I rush towards the ticket counter.
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I am now in the train on the way back to my hometown. Somehow, along the journey, I have regained back my memory. I am Isobel Stevens, I had lost my best friend and my job, and I am married to Alex Karev. Alex….why would he do such a thing to me? Why would he betray me, his own wife?
I contemplate switching on my handphone. But instead, I remove the card and throw it out the window, watching as it flies into the autumn air.
The train makes a long stop at a station.
I make my way towards a public telephone booth and dial a familiar number.
' Hello?' the voice at the other end of the phone sounds so familiar. And so anxious.
I keep quiet.
'Hello?' the voice says again. ' Hello who is this?' Iz….if it is you…'
'It is me' I finally say.
' Izzie!' Alex exclaims. 'Where the hell have you been? Do you know that I've been trying to call you for the entire day! We had a freaking emergency here and yet I was wasting my effort and energy trying to contact you the whole day...'
' I'm sorry' I say trying to keep my voice calm.
' Oh yes, you'd better damn well be sorry…. Just walking away like that, leaving me with a damn note….'
' I'm sorry Alex, I just have to…..get away from this all. I just need time to think… I'll be back when I'm ready…'
'Ready for what? When will you be back?'
' I don't know'
'Where are you now?'
'I don't know'
Alex sighs in frustration.
Just then, I heard chaos in the background on the other end of the line.
'Iz….I've…gotta go now…..can you leave me a number or something so that I can call you back later?' says Alex suddenly.
' I don't have a number now, Alex' I reply.
Just then, the line goes dead.
I look at the receiver and sigh in frustration.
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I am nearer and nearer to home. As I look out the window and see the countryside, it brings back many nostalgic memories. I am reminded of my childhood in the trailer park, the times I would run around and play wild games with the other children from the trailer park. I am being reminded of the times when I would spend those lazy Sundays curling up in front of the TV with mom, watching silly soap operas and laughing together over them. And I remember the afternoons spent in the kitchen, helping her bake her delicious cakes….which was where I inherited my baking skills from. After a long long time, I am finally coming home to where I belong.
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I find myself standing in front of the trailer, the trailer which I grew up in, and spent my entire childhood in. Finally, I summon the courage to knock on the door.
After what seems like eternity, the door opens to reveal a blonde woman who still looks the same after all these years.
'Oh my God!!' she screams, her hands covering her face, her eyes wide open.
I grin, despite of myself. 'Yes, mom, it's me. I'm home.'
She finally regains her composure.
'Cricket! You're back!' she says over and over again, hugging me tight, not wanting to let go.
I feel tears welling up in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks.
After 20 years, I am back in the trailer park, and to my surprise, I feel like I am at home.
Like the saying goes, 'There's no place like Home.'
Note: In this chapter , Izzie experienced what is called a 'Dissociative fugue'. A Dissociative fugue is defined as an impulsive, sudden travel away from customary home or work and failure to remember important aspect of previous identity. Memory loss is sudden and is associated with purposeful, unconfused travel, for extended periods of time. It is precipitated by emotional trauma, and intense internal conflict. Fugue appears to be brief, lasting from hours to days.
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