Thrown Away

Disclaimer: I don't own FFXIII, but I wish I did.

I threw everything away, everything that I had ever had in my childhood.

Vanille, my allegiance to the tribe, right down to that stupid rats' nest that I used to poke with my spear.

Everything.

Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it. My L'cie mark is just white, like snow on a winter day in Pulse. I despised the mark, the mark of a simple tool for the Fal'cie. I didn't know how I got it; it just got there. I didn't want to become a Cie Corpse, seeing as I didn't know what the hell I had to do.

I wonder why I am working with Sanctum. They're trying to wipe out the other L'cie, people like me, who Yaag and Jihl say are named Lightning, Snow, Vanille, Hope, and a bunch of other people with weird and crappy names.

I didn't know why my goddamn cousin was listed, but I know that if I return to the tribe, I'd be chased away with a bunch of pointy sticks and harsh insults. I couldn't have cared any less. I knew Vanille would hate me for betraying the tribe, but I never knew she was a L'cie, either.

My summon, Bahamut tells me to ignore the fact that Vanille and I are related and just carry out my duty as a L'cie working for Sanctum. He could do that fairly easily; he's just an Eidolon, a mechanical summon. I am human, with actual feelings. I hide them with a cool exterior. The feelings just well up until it seems like I'm going to explode.

"You always brush off everything you do like dust!" my father once exploded. "You never think, either! You're just a stubborn child, Fang. You're twenty now. When are you going to grow up?"

I'd just look him in the eye and say,"When I feel like it."