I lay there, Elena's body sprawled across my own and I decided this was already by far the best Christmas Eve I'd ever had. Better than last year when Jeremy and his wife lured us back to Mystic Falls for the holiday with pleas that little Ric had begged for us to be there. Of course Elena couldn't refuse her only nephew anything and I had to admit I'd grown attached to the 5 year old as well. Last Christmas had been a disaster. I knew it was a mistake to go back the moment I looked into Elena's eyes on Christmas morning, it was the last time they'd been dry all day. While Mystic Falls was home for both of us, it was too much too fucking soon. Sure, it'd been fifteen years since we'd even lived there, but when I finally got her out of that town in one fucking piece I didn't have any intention of ever coming back. When she left she was leaving behind a whole lifetime of bittersweet memories, many of which where she was still human. She didn't have to say it, but I was pretty confident that there were too many memories of bloodshed there for such a white holiday. Of course that didn't stop her from begging to go back again this year. She couldn't bear the thought of not seeing Jeremy and his family on the holiday.

We compromised, as we so often have to, and visited him and his family for a couple of weeks mid-December, making sure to be long gone before the 23rd. And even though we'd agreed beforehand, she was more than protestant when I started to load up the car. Eventually I got my way, with minimal force used and we were flying down the highway toward the airport without looking back. Which brought us to the comfy bed we were lounging in now, on most private Aruban island I'd ever had the pleasure of visiting. I smiled in spite of myself, remembering the debate of Christmas plans just a few months ago.

.


.

It was just after Thanksgiving, after I'd seen Jeremy, his wife and little Ric out to their car I strolled back into the living room of our secluded house near Atlanta. Elena was in the kitchen, washing dishes. I watched her for a moment from behind, knowing that she must be lost pretty deeply in thought not to just zip through the process with her vampire speed. It had taken a few years, but she was more than used to vampire pace now, in fact she glided through everything she did so suavely that it was as though she was born to be a vampire. If I didn't notice the tenseness in her shoulders I might've thought that the domestic behavior was kind of endearing. She jumped when I circled my arms around her waist from behind, but I knew she sensed me coming.

"Good thing we're vampires." She stated absently, continuing to wash dishes while I placed lazy kisses against her neck and shoulder. "Otherwise we'd never be able to keep up with that kid." She sighed. I paused my ministrations, sensing her change in mood and attempted to remove the dishes from her hands, but she only held onto them harder, scrubbing so quickly that the entire sink was in a blur. I'd seen her this way before, dozens of times actually. In fact I was usually the one who put her in this sort of mood in the first place. I tightened my grip on her, trying to drag her back from her emotions, but I knew it would probably be in vain.

"Elena." I said clearly, trying once more to grab her attention. She shook me off, but before I could try again, the glass plate broke in her hands, shattering onto the floor in hundreds of pieces.

"Great, now I have to clean th—"

"I'll do it, just come here Elena." I said sternly, recognizing her deflection. But she ignored me once more and started buzzing around the room again, picking up the shattered plate piece by piece. She was so fucking stubborn. If I wasn't worried I would have smiled in spite of this woman I was so madly in love with. She was infuriating, irritating, stubborn and the most loving vampire I'd ever known. She was beautiful and so Elena, even in these moments when her emotions threatened to overpower her. It was both her strength and weakness.

"Elena, come here." I repeated. I could chase after her, and in this emotional state I would be able to catch her easily, but she needed to come to me, if I tried to grab her she would only push away harder.

"Damon I am fine, I just was scrubbing too hard and Ric is getting so big so it takes a lot more to keep up with him and I just wasn't… I am fine." She repeated, refusing to even look in my direction. I didn't move from my position leaning against the sink, deciding that when she was ready she would come to me, she always did.

It'd been this way since the day Ric was born. When she looked into his eyes for the first time she was a complete goner. It was one of the scariest days of my life. I'd been dreading a conversation about children with her, because we'd never talked about it and she turned before she had the opportunity to even decide what she wanted. I'd been through this, I knew that the first lifetime around was the hardest and while part of me wanted to tell her to suck it up, another ached for her human life, the life she could have had without me, without Stefan and Klaus and every other supernatural asshole that'd changed her world so permanently. When everyone I knew was still alive, growing up, falling in love and having children it just made it so much more obvious as to what I was missing out on, it made me bitter. I didn't want that for her. I knew that her brother's wedding was hard enough, let alone the birth of his first child and her only other living blood relative. These were all human milestones that she couldn't have and it hurt.

When we came home that first night from the hospital, I asked her if she wanted kids. I was always such a masochist that way, asking her rather than waiting for her to tell me. We might've had months of blissful happiness together before the inevitable conversation, but I sprung it on her that very same night her nephew was born. I expected that she would tell me it wasn't an option, or that it didn't matter, but instead she was quiet for a really long time.

"Maybe in a different life." She'd shrugged, slipping under the covers next to me. "But all I can think about is how I'll have to watch that tiny baby grow old, and before I can blink I'll be burying him." Her answer had surprised me, as she so often did and I was never sure if it was a good thing or bad thing. What she was saying was reality though and I wasn't going to try and tell her it wouldn't suck, but I did tell her I would be there. She seemed genuinely comforted by that, which never failed to make my heart surge, even at such an inappropriate time. That was what I was good at I supposed, inappropriate timing.

Since that first night, if she went too long without seeing him when she finally did she would breakdown. Not because she wouldn't have kids of her own, but because it was too fast, and she was absolutely terrified of losing the only family she had left.

She slowed after a minute or two and began to slowly gather the pieces of the plate in her hand, until she sat down in the middle of the kitchen floor. And just when her shoulders began to shake, and she let her hair fall in front of her face, I was next to her. Before a tear fell down her cheek my arms were around her, holding her tightly to my chest, where she fit so perfectly. Eventually her hands wound around my waist and she was clutching to me, sobbing into my neck as I held her and stroked her hair.

I hated it when Elena cried, but I decided a long time ago that I hated it more when she cried and I wasn't there to comfort her. It took her a long time to accept my comfort, and sometimes she was still too proud to ask, but whenever she cried I felt my heart break for her. Like her sobs were mine too. This woman was my whole fucking life, and when her world was rocked, so was mine. As lame and romantic as it sounded, it was true. For the past 16 years everything I did revolved around Elena. First it was her safety, and now it was her happiness. I would guard her happiness with my own life, it was more important to me than my own by far, in fact, my happiness depended almost entirely on her.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed into my chest, but I shushed her.
"Don't be."

"I just wish we got more time with them." Her voice was evening out as she relaxed into my arms a little.

"We can visit more often if you want. I know they drive me up a wall but what else is family for." I smiled when she managed a small laugh.

"Years just go by so much faster now, it's hard to look at Ric and know he won't ever have lived as full of a life as we will." She sighed. It was times like now that Elena surprised me most. I knew of her worries and her fears. I could gauge her mood and predict a lot of her reactions, but when she shared her wandering thoughts, she only made me ache for her that much more. Jesus, this girl had me.

"He'll live a full life. In some ways fuller. He'll get to grow old and wise. He'll never have to watch his favorite aunt die." I said softly. She grinned again, swatting my arm.

"That's true." She murmured. After a pause she spoke again. "Is it easier, knowing you'll never have to lose Stefan?" She asked. My heart panged for her and I tried not to show it on my face. Over the last 15 years mortality had started to mean something to me again, especially in little Gilbert's case. I'd even lost a little bit of sleep knowing that someday Elena was going to lose the only family she had and I never would. Sure Stefan had pissed me off over the centuries and I didn't really think he made the smartest life choices, but he had life choices to make, and Jeremy wouldn't live a fraction of the life Elena would. If I was honest I would say that I was scared to death it would be the thing to finally break her.

"Unless I decide to kill him." I said dryly, avoiding answering her altogether. She laughed again.

"Seriously Damon." She persisted. She looked up at me with that life-changing-stare-into-the-depths-of-your-soul gaze, and my stomach twisted.

"If you're trying to get me to turn your brother all you have to do is ask, but I'll tell you up front, having an immortal little brother can be a serious pain in the ass." I teased. She laughed and we sat I silence for another couple of moments. I was hopeful that she would drop it, and maybe we could salvage what was left of this thanksgiving.

"Let's do Christmas with just you and me this year." She said. And like it was the most casual thing in the world she added, "Christmas should be spent with family, we'll visit Jer just before and see Stefan and Katherine after, but you're my family and I want to spend my Christmas with you, no sadness, no crying, just the two of us." She said resolutely, snuggling back into my chest and relaxing against me. If I'd been standing I probably would've fallen over. Of course I wanted to spend my Christmas with the girl who made my undead life worth anything at all, but for her to call me her family was touching a part of my heart that was so intimate I wasn't sure until this moment it was even there.

"Just you and me. Happy." She repeated. It was all I could do to nod and swallow the lump in my throat, stroking her hair and trying to commit this moment to memory. Family. I repeated the word in my head, realizing that there was no better way to describe us. We were together and happy and family now.

.


.

I trailed the tips of my fingers along the silky skin of Elena's spine, smiling at the way her breathing hitched. She'd been awake for some time now, probably watching the clock like a child, waiting for the moment she could say it was finally Christmas. This was one of the only traditions we'd been following that I enjoyed. A sleepy murmur of holiday cheer from the love of my life whispered at exactly 12:01am every December 25th. I glanced at the clock in our hotel room, only 3 minutes to go. I supposed I could hold off on round two until then.

I let my thoughts wander again to the traditions of this holiday, and the ones Elena and I had tried and sub sequentially failed at. Mistletoe was the first tradition we ruined, it was before we were even officially together, and I'd turned her away because of the sire bond.

The first holiday out of mystic falls we had Jeremy, Caroline, Tyler, Bonnie and Stefan over for dinner, but that hadn't gone according to plan either. Of course we hadn't known that Stefan had been seeing Katherine for weeks, and she'd always been one for dramatics so when Stefan told her she was free to crash the party it was something she took pretty literally. I was sure I was going to stake Stefan when Katherine and Caroline ended up at each other's throats before it was time for presents. Elena was more than upset about her perfect Christmas being ruined by Katherine's antics. Of course I wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea of everyone coming over to be all holly and jolly at our place so when she demanded that we never do that again I was more than willing to oblige.

Katherine had actually been somewhat decent to Stefan over the last decade or so. After they worked through all the spite (with what I presumed was a lot of spite filled sex that seemed to work some of the brooding out of my little bro) they developed a seemingly meaningful bond. They were spontaneous, even more so than Elena and I, but after threatening Katherine a few times within an inch of her life I was fairly confident that she was making him less miserable than he had been previously, which was honestly a huge weight off of my mind. I kept tabs on them for sure, but Stefan hadn't gone on a blood binge since just after Elena and I first got together so I wasn't as concerned as I thought I would be.

Elena stirred a little in my arms and I glanced once more to the clock, 12:00am.

"Damon?" I stiffened in reaction to the hesitancy in her voice. I had not been expecting anything other than a "Merry Christmas" and lazy round of love making. We'd become so comfortable with each other that anytime she used that voice it put me on edge. It usually meant that I was about to hear something I really did not want to hear. I used a finger to move the hair from her eyes and she turned to me, resting her chin on my chest to look up at me. I appraised her expression for a few moments, deciding that whatever she wanted to tell me wasn't bad. The way her heart was beating faster than usual did have me curious though. Even for a vampire her body gave her intentions away quite often.

"Are you happy?" It was one of the last things I was expecting her to say, and before I could respond she continued, "I mean I assume you are, but I don't ask and you're always doing things for me and I don't want to ask you for anything… I just want to know if you're happy." She'd glanced down when I tried to catch her eyes and I felt my stomach clench in response. She wasn't one to hide things, not since her series of suicidal missions for the greater good just before we escaped Mystic Falls. This felt suspiciously like she was trying to come clean about something. I felt my nerves kick into overdrive knowing that it would only take a few words from her and she could be gone, just like that. I pushed away the thoughts, I hadn't thought that way in a while, my insecurities over Elena's commitment vanished somewhere between the time she began referring to us as a "we" and when we were arguing over sheets for our new bedroom. She wasn't going to leave me, I knew that, but every once in a while a dangerous fleeting thought crept across my mind, threatening to be my undoing. Just when I was about to ask what she was getting at she sat up abruptly, pulling the sheet tightly around herself as she positioned herself across from me, running her fingers through her hair. It was one of her typical stressed out moves.

"Forget I said anything, it was stupid." She let out a small laugh and I studied her again. She was practically shaking with nerves as she buried her face in her hands. I was certain that if she wasn't a vampire she would be blushing crimson. While Elena's apparent embarrassment was endearing it sparked my curiosity once more. Over the last 15 years I found myself almost always sensing when she wanted something from me. Of course she wasn't predictable, every time I turned around she went and did something that I wasn't expecting, but I could usually sense her discontentment. I frowned, wondering if she was unhappy with something, if that's why she was asking me. I took a moment to think about my own happiness and almost laughed, our life was good. It was spontaneous and sometimes domestic and irritating and fulfilling and it was ours, of course I was happy. It was a laughable question, I got the girl, forever.

"I'm very happy Elena." I smirked, reaching out to pull her back to me. But she hesitated. She had more to say. "Are you?" I questioned. Until that moment I was sure that she was happy, we spent a good chunk of our time arguing but considering we were the most stubborn immortal creatures on earth it was a given for us. It took us a while to find our place as a couple, because there were no couples like us, but we found balance.

Her head shot up at my question, her eyes meeting mine again. I held her stare for a moment, searching her eyes for signs of sadness, but I didn't find anything. I was instantly comforted by the intimate gaze.

"Of course I am." She replied sincerely. I relaxed a little at her response and took her hand, yearning for physical reassurance now.

"But…?" I questioned. She gave me a small smile at that, knowing that I could read her like a book. We sat there for one long moment while she was probably mentally rearranging her words.

"I think I want…something." She started slowly, "and I hate asking you because I want you to want it too, and if you don't then I don't want it at all, and I know you'll get me whatever I want because I want it, but I've been thinking about it a lot and I think I want it but if you don't then I am just fine the way things are, we've never even talked about it and I mean we have forever so it seems silly really but then again why not?" She nervously rambled to the point where she was trembling and refused to look at me.

"What do you want Elena?" I asked carefully, remembering that distinctly maternal look her eyes she got when looking at Ric that would threaten to undo her. It was times like right now that I wished we were both human, so I could give her everything she'd ever wanted. It was one of my biggest insecurities, that I couldn't give Elena a child. I would give her anything, so it was the one thing I was hoping she wouldn't ask for.

"It's stupid." She replied, almost as a warning. We sat in silence for another moment.

"Is it kids?" I asked quietly, almost surprised I'd said anything at all. I hadn't planned on it, but these days it was hard to keep anything from her. I studied her expression carefully and to my surprised she looked genuinely shocked by my assumption.

"Kids? No." She laughed. "I've told you a hundred times, I love Ric, but even if we could have kids, I'm not sure I would want them, and we have forever. I mean you've said it time and time again that if I wanted to we could raise a baby as our own, but we have forever." She said and her smile suddenly faded, "Forever, right?"

This time I was really taken aback, Elena was usually so bold with her emotions and what she wanted, to see her question our relationship so openly was slightly endearing, but mostly fucking unnerving. This conversation was taking twists that I was not at all prepared for, not so early in the morning, not ever.

"As though I'd ever let you leave." I said, sitting up to get closer to her, my body thrummed with desire for her, even through this conversation. "Tell me what you want Elena." I asked again, my eyes boring into hers as though I could will myself to know what she was thinking.

"It's embarrassing." She said, but she didn't break eye contact. She was so vulnerable that it was almost painful to watch.

"Nothing you do is embarrassing, not with me." I paused. "And if it's that mortifying I can easily make you forget." I smirked, playfully nipping at her shoulder with my teeth, waiting patiently for her to say whatever it was that had her so nervous. I could tell she was coming around when she squared her shoulders, and placed her hands gingerly on each side of my face. The intensity of her gaze was overwhelming, like I could see into her soul.

"Would you ever consider making it official?" For a moment I was sure I hadn't heard her right. Official? She was a fucking vampire, this was as official as it was ever going to get. She was going to live forever with me. We lived together, did everything together, we built a life together. She was mine and I was hers, officially. She knew that, and so did I so what was it that she wanted?

"How?" I asked bluntly, genuinely confused. I could have sworn her heart was beating even faster when I asked. Her hands were shaking so badly that I had trouble focusing on anything other than if she was okay.

"I know that it's not something vampires really do and you probably don't even want think about marriage because what's the difference really and" I tuned her out after that word and my entire body went numb. I felt like I couldn't think or breathe or even function.

She wants to marry me.

She wants to fucking get married.

It wasn't like I'd never thought about it. I'd thought about it since the day I first felt her lips against mine, before that probably. All I ever wanted to do was make this girl mine forever and at first everything was so fragile and new and then it was fast and spontaneous and everything was so good and happy that I never fucking imagined how it could be better.

Maybe the idea had gone out the fucking window when she died because it was so human, the idea of "till death shall we part" but really that was what we were doing anyway. Until this very moment I was couldn't possibly think there was a way to make anything between Elena and I any better. But making her my wife? I got chills just thinking about it. It would be the best decision I could ever make. It would be a fucking honor for that girl to wear a ring on her finger that made her mine for the rest of eternity, not that she wasn't already.

Maybe once upon a time when I was human I thought about getting married. And yeah when Elena was still human I fantasized about marrying her, but also about living a human life with her, with kids and a dog. I guess I had just put them all in a package deal. Unless we were both human marriage wasn't an option.

And suddenly I felt really stupid. Had she been waiting for me to ask her? Because if I'd known she could have possibly wanted this with me, I would have asked her the second we got out that town. For all intents and purposes when we left she was making me a promise and I was making her one too, forever. I never thought for a second that she was waiting for me to pop the fucking question. Why hadn't she told me before? God I should have done it right, I should've gotten a ring and made this girl understand just how much I wanted her. I just never thought she could've wanted a marriage, not as a vampire, not with me.

But it was. It was what she wanted. It was what I always wanted with her. I wanted to marry her. I was going to marry her. Suddenly it occurred to me that I had done this completely wrong. I should have gotten down on one knee years ago, I should have a ring and say something about how my whole fucking world revolved around her because I loved her that much but we'd never really done anything the right way.

And then I realized she was still talking and shaking and turning all shades of pink, which I didn't even think was possible, but she was a mess and it was because she thought I might say no, that I might not want to marry her. It was absurd. She was fucking insane. Of course I wanted to marry her. I wanted everything with her. So I showed her the only way I could in that moment.

I locked a hand in her hair and kissed her with a force and passion that rivaled every other kiss we'd ever shared because this wasn't a kiss really, it was a promise, an answer, a question and a vow. I could waste time with words that would never mean enough but I was never good with trying to say how I felt. But I could make her feel it.

It could have been hours or minutes or years later when she finally pulled away just a fraction of an inch with a gasp, her forehead resting against mine, her eyes searching me for the answer she already had to know. But just so there was absolutely no miscommunication whatsoever I pressed my lips against her softly once more.

"Marry me, Elena?" I breathed against her swollen lips, memorizing her every miniscule reaction to the question I thought I had asked when I we had first become a couple, because we were more than that, we always had been. A grin that rivaled any other broke out across her face that made her glow and I couldn't help but feel like a kid on Christmas who had just gotten everything he'd ever wanted and more.

"Yes." She hardly had a chance to whisper her reply before I pinned her against the bed, meeting our lips in a collision of desire, passion and sheer joy that was untranslatable.

"Merry Christmas, Damon." She mumbled, momentarily pulling back to pull the sheets over us once again.


Hey everyone this is my first time writing for the TVD fandom, I've become OBSESSED. There may be another one shot following this if it goes over well, please let me know what you think.

Thanks! Please read and review!

-Onalee