True Feelings

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the movies Thor or The Avengers Assemble and I'm not making any money from this fic

Summary: Sequel to Not What You'd Expect. Hawkeye takes Loki to Thor, who's not best pleased with his brother

Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the above-mentioned movies; some mentions of violence/torture

Author's Note: I really shouldn't be writing yet another Thor/Avengers Assemble fic, but... I decided to do a sequel to Not What You'd Expect. So here it is


Loki's eyes shifted to the edge of the roof and a look passed across his face. It was gone quickly, but Hawkeye guessed that Loki was tempted to try a leap from the building and he quickly grabbed the Trickster's arm. "Don't even think about trying to escape."

"You can't tell Thor. You gave your word you wouldn't."

Hawkeye shook his head. If it wasn't for everything that Loki had done, he'd almost feel sorry for the other man. Whatever Loki's relationship with Thor was, the Trickster clearly dreaded a confrontation with his brother. Which only meant that Hawkeye was even more determined to take Loki to Thor. He was particularly good at reading people and situations - he had to be, to do the job he did. And nothing in Thor's actions or words had indicated that the Asgardian bore any bad feelings towards Loki.

And since Thor was incapable of deceit, Hawekeye doubted that there was anything deeper than that. "I'm not going to tell Thor. I'm just taking you to him."

Loki didn't attempt to argue, but he tried to pull his wrist free of Hawkeye's hand, who simply tightened his hold and ignored the futile attempts. He knew that Loki was said to have a silver tongue and could talk his way out of anything. He was a little surprised that the Trickster wasn't making any attempt to do that now, but perhaps he was still suffering from the effects of the alcohol he'd been drinking.

Hawkeye still had Loki's staff in his free hand and he slipped it into his quiver along with his arrows. He knew that the helicarrier wouldn't be that far away and without his staff, he doubted that Loki would be able to access his magic so easily.

But according to Thor, Loki was dangerous with or without a staff. Just because he was acting compliant now didn't mean Hawkeye was prepared to just lower his guard and expect Loki to behave. Making sure to keep a tight hold on Loki's wrist, he activated his commlink and spoke into it.


If someone had asked him to describe what was going through his head right now, Loki wouldn't have been able to put it into words. His mind was a blur, both hazy and, weirdly enough, clearer than it had been in a long time. As Hawkeye took him onto the helicarrier, Loki couldn't find it in himself to try to resist. He knew that he should be concerned about taking his staff back, but he couldn't find it in himself to try.

What was wrong with him? It couldn't be the lingering effects from the alcohol. Loki had sobered up pretty well when Hawkeye had forced him to stand in what would have been a corner if they hadn't been on the roof. In fact, the weird feelings had started since Hawkeye had taken the staff from him.

It couldn't be letting go of the staff that had caused these strange feelings inside Loki. He hadn't kept hold of the staff the whole time since he'd come to Midgard, after all. And nothing had changed for him that time.

Loki was pulled out of his thoughts as he was, rather unceremoniously, dragged through the sky ship. Hawkeye wasn't anything like as strong as Thor was, but Loki still had to walk fast to keep up with the other man, otherwise he'd be dragged along. There were humans around and Loki could feel his face heat up as they turned to see what was going on. He kept his gaze completely focused on Hawkeye's back, not making eye contact with anyone.

Because Loki wasn't prepared to try looking past Hawkeye, he was taken a bit by surprise when they came to an abrupt stop. They were in front of a door and Loki gave an experimental tug on his wrist as Hawkeye knocked lightly on the door.

Loki tensed up as he heard a familiar voice respond from the other side of the door. "Come in."

Hawkeye pushed open the door and stepped into the room, pulling Loki through the door after him. "I found someone I think you need to see."

Loki didn't particularly want to look at Thor and instead found himself glancing around the room. It wasn't particularly different to Thor's room back on Asgard. Loki remembered many times when he'd been to Thor's rooms while growing up. Even though Thor usually just used his hammer, his rooms on Asgard had a lot of other weapons and here was no exception - although Loki could see that many of the weapons here in Thor's rooms had been made here on Midgard.

"Loki."

Despite all of his intentions, Loki couldn't stop his gaze from turning to Thor. He paused, studying the other's face, and finally spoke. "You look tired." It was the truth. Loki had noticed it before, but it hadn't bothered him. Not until now. Now, he felt a stab of concern that he couldn't hide.

Thor's expression was unreadable, a fact that rather perturbed Loki. Subterfuge had never been one of Thor's skills. In fact, in all the years they'd lived together, Loki had been able to read Thor's expressions as easily as anything. Now, this was just another example of how much things had changed.

"Will you leave him with me for a bit?" Thor asked Hawkeye.

"Are you sure you're able to handle him?" Hawkeye asked.

"I'm sure." Thor reached to take Loki's other wrist, pulling him lightly away from Hawkeye, though his gaze remained on the other man and didn't focus on Loki. "I know better than to let him get the jump on me again."

"You know, using Earth slang really doesn't suit you," Hawkeye said with the briefest of smiles. "I'll take the staff to Bruce and Stark," he added. "They might be able to do something with it."

Thor nodded. "Be careful."

"Always." Hawkeye slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Thor turned to Loki with a grim look on his face. "You're too smart to just allow yourself to get captured, brother. What are you planning?"

"Really, Thor, you give me far too much credit. Even I can make mistakes at times." Words. That was all they were. Loki was going through the motions, but he wasn't feeling any better. The mist in his head was clearing even more, as if the fact that the staff was no longer close to him was doing something. In place of the mist, he was beginning to feel as though he was about to be sick. Where Thor's hand held his wrist, though, Loki felt almost... grounded. As if the physical contact was helping him.

"You need to tell me what's going on. What are you planning?" Thor asked directly.

"I have to open a doorway to let my allies through to this world. And then they will subjugate all of the people here for me to rule before turning their attention to the rest of the worlds."

Thor slowly shook his head. "You were gone for more than a year This is how you've been spending your time?"

"Yes, I..." But as he tried to remember, Loki felt an incredible pain stab through his head. There was a roaring sound in his ears as flashes of pain - of fear - shifted through his mind; images gone too quickly for him to look at more closely. But they filled him with dread and he felt his legs buckle under him.

The last sensation Loki had was of Thor catching him right before he fell. The last thing he heard was Thor calling for help.


Thor stood by the side of the hospital bed, staring down at his brother. Doctor Banner was scanning Loki's body, before he began to carefully remove Loki's clothes. Thor wanted to protest, knowing how important Loki's modesty was to him, but it died in his throat at the sight of what was revealed under his brother's tunic.

Innumerable scars covered Loki's entire torso. Thor couldn't see past the waistband of his trousers, but the scarring seemed to progress even further down his body. Thor had seen men tortured before and there was no doubt in his mind that that was what he was looking at.

"I don't recognise the technology used in this staff, but I can tell you what it was used for." Stark stepped over to them, widening his eyes. "Wow. Looks like someone played Tic Tac Toe on your brother here."

Thor didn't recognise the reference Stark had just made, but he recognised the tone. "This isn't a laughing matter. What did you find in the staff?"

"Mind control technology - basically brainwashing."

"That's consistent with the injuries here," Banner said softly. "I'd say that Loki was tortured - probably to control and manipulate him into his actions here. And then the staff was employed to further control him."

"Can you help him?" Thor didn't take his eyes off Loki's still form.

"Apart from the scarring, there's nothing wrong with him physically," Banner answered. "His mind is a different matter entirely. Torture can break a man. Your brother's going to need care and help - and lots of it."

"I understand that." Thor slowly sank onto the chair next to the bed, taking one of Loki's slender hands in both of us. "I'm here, brother." He spoke in a voice barely above a whisper, hardly aware of Banner placing a needle in Loki's arm. "Whatever you've done, you need to wake up and tell me about it. I'm not going to be angry with you. I just want you to come back to me."

Out of the corner of his eye, Thor saw Banner moving over to the door and talking quietly to Stark before they both slipped out of the room.


Loki was lost in a red haze of pain and guilt. He was aware, on some level, that he was dreaming, but the rest of him felt trapped once more with a race of people who had perfected the art of torture.

The physical pain hadn't even been the worst of it. The emotional tortures that the creatures had chosen to employ had been what had finally broken Loki. And even when they'd allowed him to go to Midgard, they'd used the staff to control him... to keep his mind fogged and unable to reason.

Everything was clearer now, but Loki knew he was right where he deserved to be. He couldn't be with Thor, but at least they wouldn't be able to open the portal without him. He could stay here, secure in this knowledge, and allow his soul to simply drift away.

But there was a voice intruding in the haze. And as much as Loki tried to ignore it, he couldn't close himself off. Following the sound of the voice, he was drawn up and out of the red haze... back to reality.


Thor had spent the entire day and most of the night sitting and talking to his brother, barely stopping even to take meals. Some of his friends had offered to take over to allow Thor to get some rest, but the Asgardian hadn't wanted to leave Loki's side.

Partway through the night, Thor's long vigilance finally paid off. Loki stirred, his eyes opening. Thor leaned in close to his brother, squeezing his hand gently. "Hey."

Loki focused on Thor, his face pale as his fingers flexed in Thor's hands. He tried to speak, but all that came out was a muffled noise.

Freeing one of his hands, Thor reached for the cup of water on the side and held it to Loki's lips, helping him to take slow, careful sips. He used his other hand to stroke Loki's hair, frowning at the rough feel of the strands underneath his fingertips. "You need to have a bath. And eat something."

Loki dropped his head as the water was finished. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Acting like you care. You should... hate me. I tried to kill you."

"I saw the scars." Thor placed a hand on Loki's shoulder. "And I know that they did something to that staff you carried..."

"That's not an excuse!" Loki pulled away from Thor, rolling onto his side. "Please... just leave me alone to die," he whispered, his voice hopeless.

"I could never do that. You're my brother."

"We're not true brothers." There was a bitter note to Loki's voice.

Thor frowned, rubbing Loki's back in gentle, soothing circles. "We were raised as brothers. I have never considered you as anything other than my true brother. All I wanted was to have you back with me. There is nothing to stop you from coming back with me - or we could go somewhere else - now that I know the truth."

Loki twitched under Thor's hand, as if he wanted to pull away but couldn't quite bring himself to. "It doesn't matter. I tried to kill you. I killed all of those people... What kind of monster does that, not only to innocent people, but also to his own brother?"

"You weren't in your right mind..."

"That's no excuse!" Loki took a deep breath. "I'm a war criminal. I should be treated like one."

"You're not going to be executed, Loki." Thor hadn't spoken to the other Avengers, but he'd seen the looks on their faces. Pity, mostly, but there had also been anger there; anger at the creatures that would do anything for their goals, including harming an innocent person. "My friends know that you weren't responsible for any of this."

There was no response from Loki.

Thor sighed. He didn't personally believe that Loki deserved any kind of punishment, but it seemed that there was no hope of getting through to his brother as it stood right now. Thor squeezed Loki's shoulder gently and then carefully unhooked the needle from Loki's arm. Settling on the edge of the bed, he took hold of his brother's wrist and pulled him across his lap.

Loki's hands shot out automatically to catch his balance, bracing against the sheets of the bed before clutching the material tightly in both hands. "Don't... please," he said softly.

"If you think you deserve punishment, that's what I'm going to give you. And I won't hear any more talk about you being executed." Thor wrapped an arm around Loki's waist, pulling him tight against his stomach, and then brought his hand down in a sharp smack, only using a fraction of his true strength.

Loki stiffened, but voiced no protest and buried his head in his arms.

Thor looked down at his brother's dark head. The fact that Loki wasn't fighting him went a long way towards easing Thor's mind that he was doing the right thing here and he landed a matching swat on the other side, feeling Loki jerk slightly.

Settling quickly into a rhythm, Thor landed hard, sharp swats down to Loki's thighs, feeling his brother jerk even more at the swats to the more sensitive areas. There was no protest from his brother, though, and Thor started over a second circuit, each smack making a dull sound that echoed through the room.

By the time Thor started in on the third circuit, Loki was twitching and gasping with each swat. But he wasn't breaking down in the way he needed to and with a quiet sigh, Thor paused to hook his fingers in the waistband of Loki's trousers and ease them down.

Loki's backside and thighs were already slightly reddened from the swats over his clothes. Taking a tighter grip on his brother, Thor lightly patted Loki's back and then resumed the hard spanking, adding a bit more bite to the swats.

It didn't take long for Loki to begin wriggling and squirming, kicking his legs slightly as Thor's hand found and burned his sensitive sit spots and thighs with the sharp swats. Above the sound of the spanking, Thor strained his ears and was finally rewarded by the sound of quiet sobs from Loki.

Thor stopped, immediately, and gathered Loki into a close, tight embrace, rocking him gently and soothingly, rubbing his hair and back as he felt his brother sob quietly into his shoulder, clinging on tightly.

"You'll be all right, Loki," Thor said quietly in his brother's ear. "Just let me be here for you."

"It's not like I have much of a choice," Loki whispered with the tiniest spark of humour. "You're going to hold on so tight, I won't be able to slip away."

"Not again." Thor's arms tightened around Loki. "I'm never going to let anything happen to you again."

"I believe you." Loki rested his head against Thor's shoulders, yawning as he wiped at his cheeks.

"You need to sleep, brother."

Loki just nodded. "You'll be here when I wake up?"

"Always," Thor promised.

Loki gave a quiet, contented sigh and closed his eyes, tucking his head between Thor's chin and shoulder, his breathing quickly evening out and deepening into sleep, his expression more peaceful than it had been in a long time.

The End