A/N: Hello readers, prepare yourselves for a story that is written like crap. This'll be the first story I'll have written by choice. I'll be keeping no notes on this story, because I'm lazy :P. Anyway, I've kept you long enough so let's get to it!

"Normal Speech"

-Higher Being Speech-

'Thoughts'

[Jutsu/Technique]

"Biju Speech"


Darkness. It's all consuming. It's daunting. It's scary. It's… kinda nice. Crazy I know, but It's warm and cozy. Like being wrapped up in a blanket, sipping on hot tea on a cold winter night next to a fire. Like I said, cozy.

I tried figuring out where I was, until I remembered. I remembered dying.

"Shit." I say as I realized how I died. I choked to death on a chicken bone. Not a glorious way to go I know, but it could've been worse… probably.

"Well, I guess this is Hell?" I tell/ask myself aloud. Not expecting what came next.

-Not Hell. But it is the beginning of your new life. -

"Oh. Hello?" I call out into the darkness.

-Hello. –

"So, uh… What about a new life now?" The fuck was this voice talking about?!

-You have been chosen by me to enter a new life, fear not though, you will be entering the body of an unborn baby that was going to otherwise be a stillborn. So no need to get your morals in a twist. –

"What morals? If you can just send me into a new body, then you must realize that I have very little in the way of morals. Right?"

-Very true. As that may be, I hope you're prepared to enter the world of Naruto! –

"FUCK YEAH!" This is a fucking dream come true!

-I knew you would be an interesting source of entertainment. Before I send you off though, I present to you three gifts. The first one being that this version of Naruto will be in English. You're welcome by the way. –

"Thank you. That is amazingly helpful." I don't have to learn Japanese, this just got easier.

-Second, I give you the gift of wordless, sealless jutsu. –

No. No fucking way. "Does that mean I can use jutsu with just a thought and a little bit of chakra control?" No way is it gonna be that easy. There's just no, absolutely no way that life is gonna be that easy in this world.

-That's exactly what that means. Have fun living the easy life. –

"You, are an amazing higher being. No doubt about it." This guy (I am assuming this being's gender yes, it sounds male, therefore I'm going to call it a male) is amazing.

-I am amazing yes, praise me more. Heheheheh. On to the third gift. –

Oooohhhh. I can't wait.

-You get to choose your parentage and place of birth. –

This, is going to be a fun afterlife.


A/N: Yes, I am putting myself into this character's place, and yes, he will be as O.P. as I can make him. Because I think that will be fun. I won't have an exact schedule for when I upload new chapters or a consistent chapter length. I'm just gonna write 'till I don't feel like it. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter of "Red White And Black". If you have any suggestions, please leave a comment and with that, I bid thine farewell.