I: The Need for Hugs
The time was slowly nearing three o'clock in the morning. For the most part, everyone was asleep in their beds and have been since about ten earlier the previous afternoon. The only one who was laying in their bed, shifting around uncomfortably with frustration just on the border of their mind was Five. For the life of him, he could not get to sleep. His mind was abuzz with… something, something that he didn't exactly want to address let alone dwell long enough to think about. It wasn't an anxious bubble of something that was keeping him up, it was something else. The boy huffed out a sigh, throwing his head against his pillow in agony - he's thinking about it again.
Ever since he came back from the future with a mind aged from terrible traumas which helped him gain valuable life-changing knowledge, but whose body no longer held the same age as it once had before, he started to notice off changes within himself. And no, he's not talking about having to go through puberty again - that's a whole other ordeal that he's not going to get into right now. It was just the start of wild thoughts running rampant through his head. He just started wanting things, craving a human connection that a child would usually desire. More than often, Five found himself peeking outside, seeing the neighborhood kids gathering in the street to kick around a soccer ball and in that moment, he found that he wanted to go play with them. Anytime Diego announced that he was going out, the boy's head started to churn up thoughts of comic stores with the latest issues of Superman or Batman, of ice creams shops and not having to worry about adulting. It was the thought of going to school and coming home, begging Allision to help him with his homework.
It was just weird. It was like his mind was playing to the thought of being a child again. After all, he'd been robbed of his childhood, too old to be a child but too young to be a man. However, ever the stubborn man he was - at least in the future - Five forego any human contact with his siblings. It might have sounded stupid if he ever told someone of this - which he would never - but it made the most sense to him. It was the lingering anxiety of awakening this childish instinct in him that kept his thoughts hidden in the depths of his mind. And, for a while, it worked. Everyone went on with their lives.
Allison resumed her acting position up in Los Angeles, starting on a new drama about psychic twins. She promised to visit as much as she could, but with the new contract, it was unlikely that they wouldn't get to see her for another four months. Luther continued to mull around the house, but you could often find the man at the phone calling Allison about this and that. If you couldn't find him there, the closest bar was the next place to go. As for Diego, the man was bouncing between his job at the wrestling rink and the Hargreaves resident. He was, though, as elusive as ever, a mysterious man with nothing ever 'cool' to share at family dinners that Luther suggested they have some nights of the week. Vanya was here about once a week, busy with his job as a violinist with the orchestra and plus, she had her own place to stay so there really was no need for her to stay at the Hargreeves residence. Klaus was one of the only constants in the house, often everywhere and nowhere all at once. He roamed the house like a ghost with no purpose, but he still ignited a light-hearted aura whenever he walked into the room.
And Five was okay with it, okay with all of it. The strange lives his family lived, never here nor there but always close enough - sometimes too close for comfort, but they were still there. And thing continued like this just as they once had and he found that he couldn't be bothered with those childish urges again.
Well, that is until all the memories started to flood through him again.
He had done such a good job at keeping the trauma at bay throughout the whole saving the world ordeal that took up about a week of his life. It was easy to do with so much going on. Five did an even better job at keeping it to himself when they helped Vanya control her powers for the next month or two, having stopped the apocalypse that was sure to come from his sister's wrath. Even months after the fact when everything was a standstill with everyone doing their own thing - listening to music in the dining hall while dancing on couches and tables, running out into town to talk over coffee, quiet conversations in the nights like they used to all those years ago. Throughout it, Five was alright.
Sort of…
By that, he means he still had these odd moments in the day where something mundane and absolutely idiotic would trigger a flash of… something, the barrage of memories running through his brain and clouding his eyes. It was the moment of his days in the future, the memories haunting him even years after the incident had happened. The age of post-traumatic stress disorder became something uncommon for the boy. He tried to play it off like nothing had happened and, when everyone was distracted, Five would disappear to his room. The boy's mind would start running a picture book of his monstrous deeds through his head, forcing him to his knees as a tightening consuming his chest. His eyes swam with tears while his heart pumped faster and faster. And, throughout every single one of those moments, all Five wanted to do was cry out for help, beg anyone to hold him as a parent might do for their distraught child. He got these moments often but he was okay - it's easier to hide things when no one knows what you're going through.
Well, that's not entirely true. If there was one person who might have some idea of what he was going through, it would be Klaus - the trauma part, not the childish behavior thing. After all, Vietnam changed the man. For the better? Five wasn't sure. While the Vietnam War forced his brother to remain sober, is also hindered that once flamboyant attitude and crazy mindset Klaus once had. Now, he's just a sarcastic man with a dry sense of humor. And even though he still lights up rooms with a smile, Five can see the falseness to it, can see the PTSD in the man's eyes. He would know something about that, after all.
And really, there's no fighting it at this point. It's nearing almost four now and Five is still struggling to fall asleep. He's succumbed to thinking about these urges, the ones where all he wants to do it be smothered with love and affection. This childish part of him wants to be cuddled up against a chest, words of encouragement and sweet things being whispered in his ear. He wants a hand to smooth down his hair in a paternal petting kind-of-way, which is something Five has been denied of almost all of his life. He wanted someone to tell him that everything would be okay, that Five would be okay.
With a sudden spurt of adrenaline, the thirteen-year-old boy jumps out of his bed, throwing the covers nearly to the floor in his haste. He throws on a t-shirt that he had gone without when he'd laid down for bed earlier in the night. It gets caught around his ears and Five's stumbling through the doorway, just barely getting the damned thing on before stopping in the middle of the hallway. His bare feet can feel the chill sinking into his soles, but he can't move, can't even figure out what he's going in the hallway. He hadn't actually thought this far.
Five glancing up and down the empty, dark hallway. Luther's bedroom door is open which means that he's not in bed right now. That's probably a sign of some late night partying as he was so fond of now after his first rave. Similarly, Diego's room was only cracked, but there was no one there. The only room shut in for the night was the fourth one down the row - Klaus. Five stands there for a moment collecting himself as he stares at the bedroom door. Why'd he got out of bed in the first place? What reason was there for him to be standing in the cold?
He's not entirely sure, but the answer pulls him towards his brother's room, small feet padding against the hardwood floor. Five stands in front of the closed door, fist raised to knock as he quietly rapped against the wood. For a while, the boy just stands there listening for if the man inside had heard him at all. He does this once again before just opening the door and walking in - Klaus had a bad habit of not locking his doors. Five easily crosses the bedroom, moving to stand in front of his brother's sleeping form.
And at that moment, Five hesitates, his hand just outstretched a bit in silent wanting.
Five doesn't even know what he wants. Well, that's not entirely true. The inner child wants to ask Klaus if he can sleep here tonight, buddled up in his brother's sheet. The kid wants to ask him to read him a bedtime story. It wants to ask his brother to tell him that everything will be okay, that Five isn't a complete monster for everyone he's ever killed. The child wants to ask Klaus to hold him while he cries out his years of frustration and trauma. The child doesn't want to be alone anymore.
But Five hesitates. He hesitates because this is some uncharted territory, an area of gray that he's never given the chance to explore. By asking Klaus of all this, Five is giving in to his urges, admitting that he's just scared and anxious beyond belief. Even standing here in a bedroom that was not his own, he was playing to the thought of letting himself be a child again, to let him experience what he lost or, at least, get a taste of it. And so…
"Klaus…" His voice wavers at the end, all too quiet to be heard by someone in rim sleep. Five waits for a moment before reaching out and shaking his brother a few time, "Klaus?" It's a question this time, a strong sense of doubt filling the boy. The man lets out a quiet groan but does not wake. Five thinks that maybe he should just turn away, that this is a sign that he needs to grow up and live without the human contact his inner child is begging for.
Klaus suddenly shifting, sighing out as he slowly blinked open his eyes. He drags a hand down his face, smacking his lips as he adjusts to the darkness. "What's wrong, Five?" The man whispers out sleepily, not even bothered by having been woken up. When an answer doesn't come immediately, Klaus sits up a bit, arms propping up his upper body. He tilts his head in question, "Five?"
Five struggles to speak, opening his mouth before shutting it quickly. His head swims and there is a burning in his eyes as if he might cry right then and there. He doesn't know how to ask for what he wants. On one hand, he probably shouldn't even be bothering his brother with this mundane shit but, on the other hand, Five needs this like he's never needed anything else. "I…" He shifts quietly in the darkroom, voice dying off quickly.
"You okay?" The man asks quietly, concern lacing his voice. And no, no he was not okay, but Five doesn't know how to say that.
"Move over." To anyone outside of his family, the words might have sounded crude, borderline mean, but to someone like Klaus, the clear underlying sound of begging laced the teenager's voice. The shakiness of it compelled Klaus to do just that. He shifted closer to the wall behind him, opening the covers up for his brother to crawl into. Five slid into the bed easily, curling up against the older man the minute he made contact.
Klaus, in return, froze, hands in the air unsure of where to put them. He struggled to find a proper position that would be comfortable for both him and his brother. The position he settled on had Klaus slipping a strong arm underneath Five's body while the other one laid on top of him over the covers. He easily pulled his brother close into a warm hug, head resting atop the Five's head. He hummed quietly, feeling the teenager shift some to get into a more comfortable position underneath him.
"Bad dream?" Klaus finally murmurs out after almost fifteen minutes of silence.
"No..." Five countered quietly, unsure of an actual answer to give the man. He doesn't get a response, only Klaus starting to hum a tune. The vibration settling in the man's chest lulled Five into a weird relaxed wake-sleep state. The boy leans in closer, head tucked tightly up underneath his brother's chin, closing his eyes. He wasn't very tired, but he was comfortable. It's odd how calm he feels though.
Klaus breathed deeply, "You haven't looked like you were sleeping all that well these last couple weeks."
"I wasn't." Five admitted with surprising truth. The settled into a comfortable silence and he was almost sure his brother had fallen asleep, but he spoke up again.
"You want to talk about it?" The man suggested.
The dark-haired boy leaned into the warmth in front of him, "Talk about what?"
"Why you suddenly showed up in my room in the middle of the night?" Klaus questioned quietly, "You haven't exactly been the type to want human contact - you've practically avoided it like the plague. Why start now? I mean, I don't mind at all, I quite like hugs. I really like hugs and I think-"
"Klaus." Five breathed out, shutting up his brother quickly with just the call of his name. It was silent as he tried to form a sentence for why the sudden need for contact. It wasn't that he was unsure of why he needed this, it was more along the lines of what he could say out loud without being too weird. "I…" He started, sighing heavily, "I've had these - I guess you would call them urges or something. I think it has something to do with being back in a child's body but, um…" His voice died off with another sigh.
"What kind of urges?" Klaus asked, obviously a little bit curious.
"Like… I want… I want a lot. Love, affection, that kind of thing. Hugs, lots of hugs." He said in one breath as if it might kill him if he didn't say them faster, "It's like I want another chance to be a child." Five closed his eyes at the thought, a bit of shame coming over him.
"Well, after everything you did for us, I think you deserve it." His brother said sincerely, pulling Five in closer for a better hug. The boy leaned in as much as he could, soaking up the affection and attention like a sponge. "If you want," Klaus started, "you can sleep in here whenever you like. I don't exactly mind the company myself."
Five can't help but crack a small smile, "Thanks…"
"And if you want any other kind of like affectionate things like a hug in broad daylight, you can just ask." He continued.
"Maybe."
"Well, that's better than 'no'." The man's chest ignited with a chuckle, shoulders shaking from the force of it.
"Shut up." Five shook his head in an amused way.
"Alright, alright." Klaus yawned, shifting till his nose was pressed against the boy's hair, "Now go to sleep, you've kept me up for way too long."
"Okay."
And if Five found that was the best sleep he's gotten in years, the only one he told was Klaus.
A/N – I've been wanting cuddles for like the last month because I've been pretty down and just craving some nice human connection. So, I wrote this. It's kind of a one-shot, but I think I might add onto this later at some point. I don't know exactly what it would be, maybe just some affectionate one-shots between Five and Klaus. If you'd like that, maybe say something in the comments or give me an idea as to where to take this.
