Title: Fractured
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of any characters from Naruto. All belong to the rightful creator Masashi Kishimoto.
Authors Note: A while has gone by since last I wrote anything new and while I contemplate whether I still have it in me to continue on writing these stories for Naruto I hope you enjoy this little one. It didn't turn out the way I wanted, but it will have to do for now. I'll soon get back into the hang of things.
Reviews are appreciated whether flames or not.
"Don't touch me."
The words were spoken with barely restrained anger, shown by the hint that seeped into expressive and soulful brown eyes. He was angry at himself and no one else. Oh how unfair life could be.
A pale hand with only the digits exposed thanks to the black finger less gloves withdrew from what could be seen as an obvious attempt to rest on a trembling shoulder. "I can lie, but I see no real point in it. It won't change a thing." Whether it would be taken wrong or not in this case like in many others he was, almost to a fault too blunt; honest to the extent it often came off as cruel. "It had to be done."
'It had to be done. Had to be done'
It echoed in the sun-kissed male's mind. As if a broken record stuck on repeat. Back still turned to the higher ranked ninja, he could not bring himself to face him, to see the look of pity come across the others face. "You- Don't try to... You weren't there. I should have been more careful." Iruka's hands which had rested limp at his sides started to shake before he shoved them into his side pockets of his pants
. A lone steel-blue noticed it all even when the younger male tried to hide the small signs of his troubled state. Kakashi knew as good as any that sometimes things did not go the way they were planned. Things changed while others were meant to be. All was part of life. He knew he should stop. That he should let Iruka think over the events that had happened not long ago, but he needed to be reminded of his mistake. Small that it was it could have ended a life.
"You hesitated and it could have cost not only your life, but that of your comrades." Honest words spoken through masked lips.
A reaction. The words stung he had known it was a great mistake, but for it to be brought up, and by this skilled Jounin; Kakashi of all people it was worse. Turning to face the tall and pale man a pained expression fell over brunet hidden seconds later as he lowered and shook his head whilst brown eyes shut tight. In denial or acceptance one could not tell.
"I know. I know I messed up. I shouldn't have. The mission...with child."
A unforgiveable sin even if it had been a command a sin was still a sin. The approval written down on a piece of parchment did not make it right. It did nothing to clear the guilt he carried. When Iruka did look back up and opened his eyes he saw no pity from Kakashi, no look of disgust at his weakness. No comment about him being a poor excuse of a ninja. Nothing was there but understanding. His words were not meant to hurt him or make him feel inadequate it simply was the masked male's own complicated way of trying to say everything happend for a reason. To remember not to hesitate when the orders had been given. Not to blame himself for a mistake that he had no control over.
"Iruka, as ninja we must carry out the missions we are given. Whether it destroys us inside...things we must do that go against our very humanity. We do it all to protect our own; our village, our people."
A step closer did the masked man take towards the clearly suffering academy teacher his hands slowly encircled the shaking form to comfort the other with an embrace. Tan hands still in hidden in pockets were withdrawn to once more stay limp at the lower ranked ones sides, Iruka was a little shocked at this coming from the normally indifferent seeming Jounin. He finally moved and clung desperately as if using the man as his anchor to keep him from drifting away with self loathing. Cheek pressed against the material of Kakashi's flack jacket silent sobs racked through the smaller frame of the brunet. "She was with child...with child and I killed her. An innocent. They were both innocent."
The great copy cat ninja and formly ex Anbu raised his gaze up to the heavens above while tightening his hold on his companion. They had grown close over the last few years and upon over hearing the events that had unfolded from Iruka's mission knew it would cause pain and deep scars to such a tender and loving soul. Still his need to remind to not hesitate was won over with the desire to comfort. Times were hard and every healthy ninja was required to do their part to help stabilize their village. "You did what needed to be done. She was at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was not your fault. There was not to be any witness left."
Time healed all and in some cases made the pain less intense, but the guilt would always remain.
"It was not your fault. You did what had to be done..."
