The Tardis is a peculiar girl.
She is telepathically linked to her Time Lord, and can see all of time and space all at the same time. Her abilities to see past, present, future(s), what is, what was, and what will be seemed to always have guided the Doctor to all places he needed to be at, not just the ones where he wanted to be at.
Now, there have been those rare times when she was unable to help the Doctor. When she was completely defenseless at the hands of Davros when the planets had been stolen to create the reality bomb. Though, if that hadn't have happened, Donna wouldn't have been trapped inside the Tardis... And the door to the Tardis hadn't closed on it's own... And the timing to have dematerialized at just the exact moment when by all right she might have been destroyed... Well, maybe she was helping then too, it just didn't seem like it...
She also, can't be flown by anyone not a Time Lord... but she has allowed it to happen.
Rose, clearly not a Time Lord... But that was different as well... And Donna, though she was part Time Lord also... Okay, so, maybe those aren't good examples either.
The Tardis is a particular girl, though, when it does come to the companions.
There have been many companions throughout the centuries.
The Tardis has not been kind to all of them.
She did favor Rose, and she spoiled her like a favored niece. The Doctor had never had a problem with it though. She had always found some of the most stunning clothes for her in the Wardrobe, that fit her to a perfect tee. She always seemed to help Rose get to her room faster when she was more exhausted from one of their many adventures. And, on those occasions when Rose was rather miffed at him, hid her room from him so he wouldn't bother her. Not until Rose was ready to deal with him.
Mickey, poor sod that he was, had never really found Rose's room in the Tardis. Whether that was cause the Tardis didn't want him to get any ideas, or maybe it was so that Mickey wouldn't notice that not all the rooms looked like dull gray prison cells, which his did seem to be reminiscent of.
And then there was Adam. Adam the git. The Tardis most certainly did NOT like him. Though Rose had shown him to his room when he had come on-board, apparently his room had shrunken to a five foot by eight foot cell during the night, and disappeared as soon as he had left it. It never did reappear after the Doctor had kicked him out of the ship. He even had to muffle a laugh when the Tardis had point blank told him that she had "ejected the refuse of that stray's existence from her being". Point learned: Don't let Rose bring strays on board unless the Tardis approves.
Martha had dealt with the Tardis, and the Tardis had in turned dealt with her, but for each it was more a clinical existence then anything else. Poor Martha had never felt the loving touch of the Tardis, but some never will.
Donna... The Doctor smiled thinking of Donna. The Tardis loved Donna like a sister. If the Tardis was in human form, he had no doubt she would seem more like Donna then anyone else. Donna's wit, charm, and natural smarts rivaled the Tardis' he thought on some days. And, he knew for a fact that every time Donna had slapped him for idiosyncrasies, the Tardis sent him a mental image of an "Ah-ha! So there! You deserved that!" message. The same could be said when Donna had found him, alone, on some of those nights when his mind could find no rest and was just in need of company. Donna was so good at that. It occurred to him, some times, that on the nights Donna couldn't sleep thry were also the nights when he was most in need of a shoulder to lean on. Whether that was Donna's intuition or the Tardis, neither knew. It wasn't needed to know.
And then there was Shana.
The Tardis is a very peculiar girl when it comes to Shana.
Shana is half Time Lord. But it's more then that. The Tardis favors her. The Tardis loves him, that he knows without a doubt. But, there is just something magical between Shana and the Tardis. As long as he had been with the Tardis, she had created herself, all her forms, to suit herself. She had, of course, designed rooms to make him feel comfortable. His bedrooms had always changed with each regeneration, each mirroring his current sense of mind. But, beyond his rooms, and the Library (which was always the same), every room was how the Tardis preferred.
And she never gave notice when she was changing it.
When Shana came on-board, the Tardis made things and rooms that Shana had designed. Either that were still in her mind, or that she had sketched out. The teleportation room, though currently defunct, had been one such item. Oh, teleportation was very blase, and why teleport when you could so easily land a little blue box? Though, that teleport had been the one thing needed to help save Donna, and he would always be grateful to the Tardis and Shana for that.
Then there was the Atrium. The oxygen factory of the ship. Ever since Shana arrived, the Tardis had made it more then just the dirt and plants it was. Since then, paths had been put in, and little path lights, and fire flies, and every rare once in-a-while, he could swear he saw a whirlla-me scatter amongst the trees. Not to mention the little secluded hide-a-ways that had appeared were probably some of the favorite gems he had found in there so far.
The first had been the pagoda. The one they had needed after Shana had found the Hall of Memory. How she had been allowed to find it... well, that is still a Tardis mystery. But it had been a crush to both their psyches, and the shared trauma had needed a special recovery, and that they had done so in the Atrium. At the Pagoda. He smiled, remembering how the Tardis had supplied them with the Corda, a stimulant that allowed their body to relax and their mind to unclench from grip of traumatic psychic thoughts. She had supplied them with nourishment, and peace and the time to recover.
Several different hidden corners have since appeared in the Atrium, some he has found, some maybe only for Shana... He had seen her naked foot prints in the dirt a few times. (She always takes her shoes off when in the Atrium.) Followed them, only to find they disappeared mid stride, and nothing was around.
Apparently the Tardis likes to help Shana hide from him sometimes. He smiled, thinking about that. Well, they all need a bit of privacy sometimes, and he could never find fault with that.
But it's more then that. The Tardis really does love Shana. The air changes when Shana is around. The Tardis seems to deliver for Shana before she knows she wants something. Not that Shana ever asks for anything. She never does. That seems to make him adore her more. She is always ready to do with whatever is around, and she never, ever asks for anything. Well... No, that isn't exactly true. She did ask for one thing once. And he hadn't done it for her.
She had asked if they could stop so she could get some more sketch books, and they had forgotten to. He remembered it later that night, but they never managed to go back. Every time they had stopped somewhere, it was on his list of things to get her, and every time something came up and it went from the top of the list to the bottom.
Besides... over the last few months, she had stopped drawing. He never saw a pencil in her hand anymore. She had always doodled, or drew before... And her sketch books had disappeared. It had been that there was one in just about every room he came into. One opened, pen laying across it as if she had just stopped mid-thought and ran to get a cup of tea... A small stack next to her bed... A couple on the coffee table in the Library... A small one in the kitchen, half used for things to buy, or notes to leave each other... Actually... Now that he thought about it... When she had first been given a room by the Tardis, she had also supplied an artist's drafting table. The last time he had been in her room, the table was no longer there. When had that happened?
He decided to fix this little fobble. He went to the Console room and programmed a destination for 20th century Earth. Maybe not only can he pop over and pick up some sketch books, but maybe a date to the museum would make her happy. It had been a while since they had done something safe and free from danger. The Tardis landed rather smoothly, probably to let Shana sleep, and he stepped out into an alley in New York City.
Ahhh... He loved this town. Well, he loved lots of towns, cities, villages... But New York was always different. The sounds, the smells, the taste in the air. It was a city that was more alive then half the humans on the planet. It was one of the first places he had ever been too, and maybe it was always his first love. He smiled, ran a hand through his hair, stuffed his hands into his pants pockets, and shuffled off. Shopping was always easy in New York, and it wasn't too long before he came upon an art supply store. Right next to a used electronics store. He grinned, excited about the possibilities of a double whammy of a shopping day find.
Shopping for Shana was amazingly easy. A new set of charcoals, a dozen sketch books, in three different sizes, a couple of boxes of pencils, erasers, and a carry-all for the supplies. He smiled as he walked into the electronic store, his hands already ladened with Shana's stuff. He perused through the store, seeing a variety of bits and bobs and wires and lights, but nothing seemed to call to him, so he left a bit disappointed that he had nothing for himself.
Right before turning down the alley, back to the Tardis, though, there was one last shop he had to peek into. A quaint old jewelry store. Jackson's Jems the sign above read. He smiled, seeing it was still around. He remembered the last time he had come across this little "gem" of a store.
It had been 1918, and the store had been open for just under a year. The owners, Derek Jackson and his wife Jemma were a quiet, sweet couple. The Tardis had... well, had landed right where she was now, actually, in a small emergency, having had some malfunction that would take a few weeks to repair. The Doctor had found that the Jackson's had a small room for rent over their store, and he, having an eye for gemstones and a rather odd hobby of learning how to cut stones, took a temporary job with the jeweler and helped out for a few weeks while the Tardis repaired herself.
The time spent had been extremely uneventful, but it had been a wonderful break and the Doctor had enjoyed every minute of it. He hadn't thought about that time at all since, but now, seeing the little shop, he smiled and went in.
"Good evening sir, how are you on this fine spring day," A elderly gentleman said behind the main display case.
"Quite well, thank you," The Doctor replied. "Lovely shop."
"Thank you. Been in the family a while. Can I help you find something?" The Doctor looked around a second and then shook his head.
"No, not yet. Just looking for a moment."
"Ahhh... Known her long have you," The man asked, and the Doctor looked at him. "Your lady
friend. It is rare for an unattached gentleman to peruse a gem store if he were single. Is it her birthday? Or maybe there had been an argument?"
The Doctor smiled. "There is a friend, that is true. But, no. I just like visiting old family shops. They always have so much more... heart to them."
"Ahhh," Sighed the man, smiling. "That they do. Please, feel free to look around. If you need something, feel free to ask." He then picked up a newspaper he had been reading and went upon ignoring the Doctor.
The display cases were small, and the pickings were few. It was no franchise, this little depot. These were carefully picked quality items that hard earned money had purchased for resale. There would never be two of any kind sold here and that, of course, was always a plus in Jackson's Jems. He casually looked over each item, and then stopped, breath caught in his lungs.
"Mr. Jackson...?" The man looked up from his paper, and then folded it as he set it down and got to his feet.
"Find something of interest?" The Doctor pointed to an item in the case before him. The jeweler looked into the glass, and smiled as he looked back up at the Doctor. "Oh what a fine eye you have, sir." He pulled out a key from his tweed vest pocket and unlocked the case. His hand reached in steadily and gathered the ring that had caught the Doctor's eye. He handed it over to the Doctor and pulled out a small board that was wrapped in black velvet.
"Do you... Can I borrow a loupe?" The Doctor asked, his hand shaking slightly as he held the ring. The older man nodded and handed him a jeweler's loupe. The Doctor put the loupe to his eye and peered at the emerald solitaire in the ring. It was easily three-quarters of a carat, and it stood tall. It had been a hard stone to set, given the demands of the style during the time. Apparently the style had never appeased anyone as it still sat in the display case nearly a hundred years later.
He remembered when this particular stone had entered the shop. He had been working, setting a few sapphires into yet another art deco broach when he had felt a tremor in his psyche. A familiar touch that was easily recognized. Being a Time Lord he knew when another was around. He also easily knew who was around.
He raised his head as the bell on the door rung as it was opened. He watched as an extremely skinny man walked in. His trousers were too short, his tweed jacket seemed to fit him well enough, and his flock of hair and bow tie simply shouted his age. Well, it shouted for anyone who knew to listen. They each saw each other, and each nodded. He wasn't just another Time Lord. He was him, in the future. The tweed man walked forward, and sighed deeply as he reached into his jacket.
He remembered seeing how slowly he had pulled the gem out of his pocket. His hand had been clenched around it tightly, and he could feel the pain in the man's hearts. The tweed man inhaled deeply and slowly opened his hand, showing the emerald as it sat in his palm. The Doctor remembered taking it from his hand, feeling the agony flow from the other.
"She loves everything," He had whispered. "But emeralds are her favorite." And, with that, the tweed man turned and left.
He had stood there for quite awhile, holding that gem, seeing the light reflect in it. His mind designing a setting, a setting that was not of popular design. But it didn't matter. This stone... This gem, it was not meant for a contemporary of 1918. He had spent days working on the design, the setting, choosing the material. When he had finished with it, Jackson had not been thoroughly happy with it. But, he had said that since none of his money or gems had gone into making it, who could he argue with.
By all rights, he should have kept the gem and not given it a setting, or let Jackson try to sell it. Thankfully, the ring hadn't been sold. Over a hundred years, one would think it would have found an owner. Well... It has an owner... just not at that time. But surely someone would have tried to buy it before he had found it again.
He looked through the loupe now, searching for what he knew should still be there. It had been an inscription he had accidentally come across. Carved into the gem with a micro-laser were the words, "For All of Time". It was engraved in Gallifreyan.
"I'll take it," He said quietly, as he returned the loupe to the older man. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a rather large cache of American currency. The older gentleman stuttered a bit, but the Doctor held up his hand to stop him. "I know this has sat in your store for quite a long time, and I believe it has waited long enough. If I can have a box, and then we'll call it even." The older man nodded, a bit dumb-founded, and absentmindedly reached for a small ring box.
The Doctor deftly tucked the emerald ring into the box, and put it into the inside pocket of his jacket. He walked out of the shop, the weight of the emerald planting him to the Earth, while a million thoughts running through his head. He turned down the alley, and saw his Tardis waiting for him, as she always does. He patted her hull before stepping through the door. He felt her smile in his mind and a question as to where he would like to journey next.
"Nowhere too quickly dear," He said, placing a hand lovingly on the console. His mind reached out to Shana, found she was still sound asleep, and smiled. He picked up his phone, placing a few calls, juggling his sonic screwdriver into the air.
"You are in a good mood," Shana said, smiling as she came into the room. The Doctor jumped at her words. He had lost the track of time while setting up plans for the night, unbelieving that it could have taken so long. Long enough for her to wake up, shower and dress before finding him, and he hadn't even noticed.
"Oh," The Doctor said, trying to recover his composure. "What makes you say that?"
"Whenever you juggle your screwdriver, you are always in a good mood," She grinned. He came towards her then, smiling.
"How did you sleep?" She raised a hand to his cheek, smiling and leaned in for a kiss. A soft lover's kiss. Her mind opening to his, and his opening to hers. He sighed into her lips, ever loving the intimacy of their link.
"I slept... long enough," He said, when he had pulled his lips from hers. His forehead leaned against hers and she smiled sweetly. He suddenly spun away from her, his mood becoming even lighter. "I don't know what you have planned for the day, but I have made a few plans for us."
"Oh? Do we get to save the world?"
"Nope," He said, popping the last p sound.
"Usher in a new era of enlightenment," She asked, a grin appearing on her lips.
"Nope."
"Have mad, passionate sex on the roof of the tallest building under a double full moon?"
"Hmmm... That would be a bit difficult. Earth has only one moon." He watched her as her eyes grew wide. "Welcome home."
"We are back? Really? Where? When?" He smiled, and held his hand out. She eagerly grabbed it, squeezing it tightly, her eyes alight.
"New York City, 1997." She smiled and pulled him closer to her, giving him a soft kiss, her lips warming his with their caress.
"A great year," She said.
They walked hand-in-hand as they left the Tardis. Shana grinned from ear to ear, relishing the city as it pulsed under her feet. She loved the city, and was excited about what the Doctor had planned for them. She wanted desperately to know, but she loved surprises more. His hand tightened in hers, and her smile grew.
The Doctor waved down a taxi with a sharp whistle. She was amazed at the volume he had, and laughed when three taxis stopped in the middle of the street. He looked at her, and pulled her hand in the direction of the taxi he preferred. "Allons-y!" She laughed as they ran towards the cab.
They jumped into the car, and immediately the driver asked for their destination.
"East 84th and 5th Avenue if you would," The Doctor had said. The driver nodded and began the drive. They sat in the back seat, Shana smiling as the street scenes flew by, the Doctor enjoy the ride, his hand at home in hers. The ride ended too soon, and they climbed out, the Doctor being overly generous with another small stash of American currency he handed the driver.
Hand in hand they walked down the New York street, and within a few moments, the museum came within sight and he smiled, waiting for Shana to figure out where they were. It took a moment longer then he supposed it would, and as he watched, her face lost a small hint of the glow she had been carrying. Her hand's grasp lightened a miniscule amount, and there had been a tiny change in her footsteps.
These dustings of minor difference would have never been truly noticed by the average human, but the Doctor had noticed it clearly. "Shana, is... are you okay?"
"Hmm?" She replied. He paused in his steps and she turned to face him.
"Shana, what is wrong?" She didn't respond immediately, so he squeezed her hand minutely and waited. "Shana...?"
"We are... going to the museum?" She asked, her eyes not truly looking at his.
"No, I mean, yes, but not yet," The Doctor replied, quickly amending their plans for the day. "Central Park is next to it, and I thought we could spend a bit of time there first." He saw her relax, and then nod, her glow returning, but not as bright as it had been.
Something is going on, that is certain, he thought to himself now. Now he knew something was bothering her. He was determined to find out what. They began walking again, passing in front of the museum. He felt from her, despair and longing when she looked at the building. As they turned the last corner of the building he felt a last wave of sorrow. Whatever was wrong... He will fix it, he promised himself.
As soon as they had entered the natural area of the city, a horse drawn carriage had pulled up nearby. He quickly hired it, and the two of them climbed in. She leaned against him, and he wrapped an arm around her.
"Have you been to New York often," He asked her, his fingers gently running through her hair. Her hair was so soft and she was letting it grow from her short hair she had had when they first met.
"Oh yeah," She said, smiling, Her face took on that look he loved when she was remembering some place she had been. She always seems to have some moment from some places she had been that makes her love that particular place. He learned a long time ago, that you can never ask Shana if "such and such" was her favorite place cause she loves them each individually as a parent would a child.
"What's was your favorite part of New York?" She tilted her head in thought, narrowing down her answer.
"The Littles, I think," She said finally.
"The Littles?"
She nodded, smiling. "Little Italy and Chinatown. Well... Little Italy isn't what it used to be... and by 1997, well... it was just beginning to change away from being Little Italy to, ya' know... a normal section of the city. But, yeah, the Littles are my favorite. Let's see... 1997..." She frowned then, and he asked her what was wrong.
"Oh, nothing... I have friends in New York... bands... But '97 is before their time." She sighed softly. "Oh well, plenty more... though... 1997 is Grunge I think... Yeah... No concerts for us then," she said and grinned. "What about you?"
"Grunge?"
"No silly," She said, bopping her shoulder against his. "What's your favorite part of New York. Beause I assume you have been here at least once before."
"Oh, yep," He said, grinning. "Quite a few times. Well, I think it's probably the city itself. It's nearly a life force on it's own." Shana watched him for a second, thinking about his answer, and then nodded.
"You are very right about that. I hadn't thought about it like that, but... yeah, it is." The Doctor smiled, looking deeply into her silver eyes. He took the hand that was holding his, and brought it to his lips for a sweet gentle kiss. Her eyes never left his as he did it, and he could tell her pulse rose when his lips connected with her skin. "Doctor..."
"Hmmm?"
"I am not sure what you have planned for the day..."
"Oi! No asking! I refuse to ruin any surprise I might have actually gotten away with making." She laughed at him then, a great rumbling laugh he loved to hear. With Shana, she can sometimes be a hard book to read. He should know.
In six months he hadn't been able to figure her out, and he had her Cliff's Notes. He did know that, with her, if she loved something, she loved it completely. Don't even question her on it. If she hated something, you better learn to deal with it, because she won't change her mind. Besides that, she was always willing to try to do anything at least once.
"Oh cool your jets silly. I wasn't going to ask that."
"Oh," The doctor said raising an eyebrow. "So... What were you going to say?"
A wicked delight crept into her eyes and her lips curled into a sordid grin. "I do believe, Doctor, it's going to rain shortly."
He looked at her for a fraction of a second before he understood. "Driver, we will get out here if you don't mind."
"Sir? Are you sure? I think the lady is correct and it may rain very shortly."
"Oh, I am very much sure." The carriage came to a halt, and the Doctor leapt out of it. He reached up and held out a hand for Shana to get out. She gracefully took it, and exited the carriage quite easily. They waved off the carriage, and then holding each other's hands tightly, they ran.
They ran like children fresh out of school. They laughed and stole looks at each other as their feet pounded in joy as they ran to the center of the park. They had just reached the area when she felt the first drops of rain on her face. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, her breath heavy as she tried to catch the air to fill her lungs after the run. He held her, his face watching hers until she grinned. She leaned in to kiss him, just as the first rumble of thunder rolled through the park.
She moaned into the kiss, the rumble of the weather lighting up both of their senses. "Are you ready," she whispered when he had pulled back from the kiss.
"Always," he said, his arms wrapping tighter around her. They both closed their eyes, hoping that the rain would deliver to them. It was sometimes a toss up, whether or not the conditions of the weather would speak to them. Sometimes, the weather would fail them, and they would end up soaking wet, and all hot and bothered. But, more often then not, now-a-days, the weather delighted in giving them it's magic.
As the rain began to pour down, their senses lit up. As the drops hit their skin, it made a musical sound. Each rainfall was different, and always left them feeling a new version of joy and peace. The air around them danced in the music, and suddenly, from close by, lightning struck. It had been extremely close, the Doctor's hair standing on end, and it fired him up. As she had felt the electricity flow through her body she felt him harden against her.
The rain danced and sang for them, the lightning striking all around them, each time bringing her to a new height of bliss. She realized then, that she had been kissing the Doctor. Or was it he was devouring her? It didn't matter, she scolded herself. The storm was rising, her skin called, begging for each drop to hit her, it's touch sending off new spirals of ecstasy in her being. The storm came harder and faster, and soon she was was lost in the powerful orgasm of the weather as it carried her higher and higher.
She awoke, finding herself laying on a park bench, her head in his lap. His fingers were absent-mindedly caressing her hair, but he seemed to be asleep. She closed her eyes, relaxing deeper feeling his fingers in her hair.
"You are amazing," he whispered.
"That was a bit more powerful then I had expected," she replied, grinning. He leaned down, his lips softly caressing hers.
"A bit more then I had expected as well," he admitted, returning her grin. He leaned his head back along the bench, and sighed deeply. "You know, I had some plans for the day..."
"Did I ruin them," she asked, sitting up abruptly, hoping she hadn't upset him. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.
"Oh no no no. No, we didn't." He kissed the top of her head, drinking in the sweet coconut smell of her shampoo. "No, but, I think we should go shopping for some clothes. I fear, that any place we go into will frown upon our... appearance." She grinned then, and nodded.
Shortly after they reluctantly got to their feet, she wrapped her arm around his and together they walked to the fabled Saks Fifth Avenue.
They left hours later, Shana grinning from ear to ear, the Doctor, semi-content.
"I am telling you, it looks good on you," Shana said for the hundredth time.
The Valet outside the entrance waved a taxi down for them, and they hopped in, the driver taking their shopping bags and putting them into the trunk.
The Doctor laughed, finally taking his tie off and shoving it into his pocket. Shana watched, trying very hard to not laugh at loud.
"I don't know why you agreed with the clerk that I should buy that bloody thing," He muttered. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
"What? You really don't think bow ties are cool?"
"Only with tuxedos," he muttered.
They had the driver take them back to where the Tardis had been parked, and dropped off their bags before heading out for their reservation for lunch. The Doctor had written the destination down and handed it over to the driver. He was going to keep it a secret for as long as he could.
"What is so special about today," she asked, her fingers twining around his.
"Well, let's see... On Draxal there is a celebration for the anniversary of the King's Celibacy. On Paramore II it's the official first day of the wet season. On-"
"No you goof! For us. Why are you going all out today," She said, laughter lighting her eyes.
"Oh... You mean you don't know?" She shook her head no, her eyebrows furrowing as if to try it figure it out. He leaned in then, his hand cupping her chin as his lips met hers for a long, sweet kiss. "Well, it was six months ago today, when we first met."
She opened her eyes at his words, her head tilting to the side, watching him.
"What... Has it been that long?" Her words were barely a whisper.
"Time is different in the Tardis, but yeah," He said, smiling. She grinned back at him, and then leaned in for a delicious kiss, his lips welcoming hers, her hands running through his hair, and she heard, as her fingers combed through his hair, a soft moan escape him.
She pulled out of the kiss, feeling the cab come to a stop. The Doctor kissed her once more on the tip of her nose, and then handed another stash of currency to the driver. They walked arm and arm into the restaurant, both very content.
The maître d' had been excited when the Doctor and Shana had arrived. He eagerly escorted them to the Chef's Table, personally opening the bottle of wine that the Doctor had called ahead about. She smiled when he showed her the bottle, the Doctor took the taster's sip nodding his head in approval.
She looked over at him, and he reached for her hand. "A Reisling?" He nodded. She smiled, remembering that night.
Her glass was poured, and she took her first sip, smiling at the taste. Most wines taste bitter to her, but a Riesling has always seemed comforting. She loved the way the flavor laid on her tongue.
Satisfied with the wine selection, he waved over the Chef, introducing them in French, the Doctor smiling and responding to some questions. The way the French language rolled from his lips was mesmerizing to her. Of course, he didn't have to speak French, the Tardis translates easily for them, but he loved to show off. She sat there, smiling, watching their faces, trying hard to keep the look of "oblivious" on her face so she didn't know that despite the fact that it was the Chef's table, that the Doctor wanted her to have a few specific things.
Normally, at a Chef's table, you eat whatever the Chef has decided to make for you. And you never, not ever, ask for a different item instead of the one he (or she) has so graciously decided you should have. Unless the Doctor insists on having his way, apparently.
A decision (or compromise) was reached, and the maî·tre d' left them. Shana watched the bustle in the kitchen, her finger slowly going around and around the rim of her wine glass. Suddenly, she felt the Doctor's hand on hers, stopping the movement.
"Shana?"
"Sorry, what?" He looked at his hand on hers, keeping the finger from moving around the lip of the glass. He gave her a small, weak smile.
"Sorry, but it was... disturbing the cooks." She looked at him puzzled and he nodded toward them and then back at her glass.
"Ohhh... Sorry. I didn't even realize..." She hadn't even heard the sound of the glass singing. She moved her had off the glass, but not away, keeping the Doctor's finger's wrapped around hers.
The Chef approached their table, setting down a lovely asparagus salad that was topped with a golden Nasturtium. They ate their salad quietly, and Shana smiled, watching the Doctor pick up the bloom and eat it as well.
"What," The Doctor asked, seeing her smile.
"Only you would eat the flower without thinking about it."
"It's edible." Shana nodded. "So, why shouldn't I?"
"I didn't say you shouldn't," She laughed. "Just that few people do."
"But it's lovely. It's like watercress. You should try yours," He suggested. They finished their salads rather quickly, but, in fairness, as with most high end french restaurants, the servings were small.
"How badly have I ruined the day," Shana asked suddenly. He looked at her, his eyebrow rising in query. "I... know you wanted to go to the museum, and then, we did the shopping, which surely hadn't been on the agenda..."
He reached across again, taking her hand in his, and bringing her fingers to his lips. He settled a soft kiss upon her knuckles, and looked deep into her dark silver eyes.
"You have not ruined the day. Ideas of what could be can always change. And, I want you to be able to enjoy the day. If I chose to do something and its not going to be enjoyable for you, then we just wont do it. Okay?" She nodded softly, but still felt like she had ruined it. "What would you like to do?"
She felt his thumb gently rolling over her fingers, softly caressing each knuckle and she sighed. "Just being with you makes me happy," She said, smiling into his eyes. He kissed her knuckles again and released her hand as their meal arrived. She inhaled deeply, smiling at the dish.
"Your favorite," He said, grinning. She nodded, and thanked the Chef. Filet Mignon, with a side of buttered asparagus. "Two asparagus dishes... He wasn't happy, but he thinks you are cute." The Doctor grinned at her, and she blushed a lovely shade of pink.
Their meal had been delicious, hers was, of course, cooked to perfection. And she was a touch embarrassed by the speed in which she had eaten the steak. The Doctor had asked if she wanted dessert, but all she wanted was to walk some of this food off. He nodded understanding. The skinny sod had eaten even more then she had, so he was more bottom heavy then she was, probably. She gave the Chef a kiss on the cheek, and thanked him for the wonderful meal, and then they left.
They walked quietly down the street, small talk fluttered between them. They held hands, each loving the others company, each waiting for the other to break the silence.
"Ask me," Shana said, finally. The Doctor had heard her, but was not sure what she had meant. "You have something on your mind you want to ask about but won't ask."
"Hmmmm... Yep," He said, and turned to stop and window shop at the store they had just come to. "Are... you happy?"
He felt her squeeze his hand and turned to look at her. "Of course I am. Why do you ask? Are... Are you not?"
"Oh, yes. I mean, no. I mean! I mean I am happy. Yes. I am happy." He hated that answer. He had accidentally hurt her hearts, and then repaired them. He hated hurting her.
She tilted her head to the side and then asked, "Why do you ask?"
He smiled at her, his hand reached up and gently caressed her cheek. "You are so hard to read sometimes... When we first met, you seemed very happy. And you used to draw." At that he felt her stiffen under his fingers. "What is it, Shana?"
She stood there, quietly, his words going around and around in her mind. She worried her bottom lip with her teeth as she tried to find a way to answer him. After a few minutes, he pulled her to him, held her tightly. He ran his fingers through her hair.
"Don't worry about it. Forget I asked. You don't have to answer, okay? Let's just... let's go home, shall we?" Shana nodded into his shoulder, her arms wrapping tightly around his. He waved down another cab, and they got in. No words were said, save the destination to the driver. Once dropped off, they quietly walked back to the Tardis arm in arm.
The Doctor opened the Tardis, letting Shana enter first. He followed, and turned around, making sure the door was secure. When he faced the Console room again, she was no longer there. He closed his eyes, sighing deeply. He walked over to the console and placed a hand onto the rotor.
"I screwed up again, old girl," He said. The Tardis sent him a query, but he didn't respond. The bags from their earlier shopping trip were still in the room, so he gathered them up and took them to their rooms.
He stopped at his room first, dropping off his bags, and then went to Shana's. He found her door was ajar. No lights inside, but she never closes her door. His hands full, he couldn't knock, but his toes pushed the door open. He was going to set her bags just within the door when he heard a sob.
"Shana?" The Doctor asked in the dark room. There was no immediate reply, but he waited.
"Yeah," she said quietly.
"Um... I have your bags. From shopping..." A good, true reason to be there...
"Oh... okay," she said quietly. He slowly put the bags down, against the wall the door was on, and hesitated before leaving.
"What's wrong," he asked. He had debated on not asking anything. Or saying something that made it seem like he was oblivious to her. Or blather about something stupid. But this was Shana. Shana prefers honesty and forth rightness above anything else.
"I... I hate this." He inhaled quickly. That was no where near the answer he had thought she would have given him. Of all the answers that had rolled through his mind, this one answer... His biggest fear, was not the one she would say.
"Right," He said, forcing himself into his old "Doctor" mode. "I can understand. It's not a great life. Its good for a bit, but then, yeah. I know. Well, I can take you anywhere you want. You name the place and the time and I will drop you off." His heart ached as he said those words. That he had said the whole thing without his voice cracking amazed him.
"Drop me off...?"
"It's ok. We had the best of times. You were brilliant," It cracked then. She turned her light on that was on the night stand next to her bed, and she stared at him.
"You... want me to leave?" She asked, the words barely above a whisper and catching in her throat. He came over to where she was, and sat down next to her on her bed.
"I don't want you to leave. But this..." He waved his hand, encompassing the Tardis and all their travels. "This isn't an easy life. I understand that you can hate this."
"Oh no Doctor! I don't hate this this!" He looked at her, not understanding. "I love this. I love the travel. I love the Tardis. I love everywhere we go, whether it's another attempt to shorten my life or not," she said, a smile rising on her lips. He smiled too, but was still confused.
"I hate..." She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. Finally she released her breath and her voice was barely above a whisper. "I hate how I am."
He raised his hand, running his fingers through her hair. Her eyes slowly opened and he looked deeply into them. "What do you mean? I am afraid I don't understand."
"I... I used to be so... different. I was strong willed, and never thought anything could stop me. And I rebelled against everything that I thought I should." He nodded, smiling, remembering their first meeting and how she had been so strong and firm and scared the crap out of Jack. "But now... it's so... I wake up in the morning, and I feel great. I feel like things are back to how they were. And within hours... I just feel... unsure. Reserved. Shy. And... Afraid. I hate it."
She started to cry deeper now, the tears pouring down her cheeks. He pulled her closer to him, letting her cry. "I hate this," she said through her tears. "I never used to cry. Not like this. Not all the time."
"When did it change? When did this all start to be like this?"
She sniffled and pulled away from him, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I ask myself that a lot... and... I think I know. I think, it was when you showed me the glowing pages."
He thought back to months ago.
"So, what am I looking for?" He reached over, and flipped open to one of the pages that shimmered. She drew in a quick gasp.
"Put the specs on," he said, his head nodding to the book. She looked up at him, tilting her head in query. "The specs let you see the page."
"I can see the page..." She said. He looked at her, and then the page.
"You can see it? What is there?" She nodded. "You see the shimmer? Or... something else?"
"I see a glowing page, but I also see my drawing. Why is it glowing?" She handed him back the specs. She tried to not smile to much, when he put the specs on, but she did shake her head in mirth.
"I can see the page shimmer, but I can't see what's on it unless I wear these," He explained. "River showed it to me. Said there are other pages in there that will show to us in time. It didn't start to glow until a few minutes ago."
"Sorry. I am a bit confused," She said, shrugging her shoulders.
"I haven't the answers, but I will tell you that you drew this page." He looked at her and she nodded, thinking to herself, Well, duh... He grinned at her, and she remembered he can hear her.
"Sorry," she muttered.
"Yes, well, like I said, you drew this page. But the image was not visible to us. But, the Tardis took this image, and probably the information you have in your brain there," he said, poking at her temple. "And built the teleport room."
"Nooooo," She said, denying his facts. "I drew it after that was built... Didn't I?" He shook his head no, but she seemed to not believe him still.
He reached over and flipped the pages until he found the next shimmering page. He still didn't see an
image on it, but she was staring at it. He tried to peek into her thoughts, in hopes to see what she sees, but, suddenly she slammed the book shut and threw it across the room.
"What? What was it? What did you see?"
Her eyes stayed on the book, and she seemed frozen in her spot.
"Shana, what did you see," he asked quietly, removing his specs. He saw her slowly close her eyes, inhale deeply, and square her shoulders. "Shana?"
She opened her eyes, looked at him, and quietly said, "I'm going to the kitchen." She got up then, and left. He watched her go in a bit of a shock, from her change. He walked over to the sketchbook and picked up the poor crumpled up thing from the floor.
"What did you see, Shana," He muttered to himself. He flipped it open to where the page that shimmered was, shocked to find the whole page now completely empty. No glow, no shimmer, and no drawing. "What did you see..."
She was watching his face as he remembered that instance. Her eyes were wide, the silver bright, and tracks of dried tears lay down her cheeks. He reached up, pulling some of her hair away from where it plastered on her cheek from the tears, tucking it behind her ear.
"What did you see," He asked softly.
"I... Don't know..." Her teeth worried her lower lip again and she was feeling like she had earlier. Small, weak and pathetic. "I... couldn't draw after that," She whispered.
"You couldn't?"
She shook her head no. "I wanted to. I tried to, but the more I tried, the more I failed. And, it just got... I had to put all the books away. Looking at them just made me seem like a failure. I... I used to love museums... but when we got to the one here... This coldness... I love that you thought about it... about me... but... It hurts to think of everything that is in there that... I can't do it anymore."
He pulled her close to him again, and her arms went around him. He kissed her hair, and thought about how lost she seems. "We'll figure it out Shana. Don't you worry, we'll figure it out."
She nodded her body beginning to relax in his embrace.
I just miss being me, She thought. He didn't let on that he heard that.
They had made their way back to the Library, having decided that today is a better day to stay in, then go out. Shana, of course, felt horrible about ruining the day, and refused to believe that she hadn't ruin it. He sat, as always, feet propped up on the coffee table, book in his hand, and his fingers absentmindedly running through Shana's hair as she laid with her head in his lap.
He had been trying to read the same page for the last ten minutes, but was failing miserably. His thoughts kept returning to the time in the park earlier in the day, and the rain. There was only one thing better then the experiences of the weather with Shana, and that was what was distracting him.
"I think, that I will head to bed," Shana said suddenly as she sat up. His lap felt empty now that her head was gone from it.
"Sleep well Shana," He said as she gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. He followed her presence down the corridor to her room and sighed deeply, closing the book and setting it down. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his fingers holding his head up. In his mind he played all the conversations he had thought about starting with her, and failed to say a word. Again.
He was trying very hard to not think of the park. To not think of the rain, or the thunder, or what happens to him when he is with Shana. Every place they have gone lately seemed to have some weather phenomena that lit their torches. The Tardis is playing matchmaker again, and, outside those wondrous moments... once the storm has passed, it's like they forget who they could be. He stood and stretched, deciding it was going to be another night of cold showers, and he doesn't mean rain.
He walked down the corridor slowly, his hand absent-mindedly caressing the walls, thinking about tomorrow. He was unsure if they should set the Tardis up for a random trip, or something specific. He smiled, remembering how she looked when she realized they were back on Earth.
Join me?
He stopped in his tracks, unsure he had heard that. He was within feet of his room, so only a few yards away from hers. He turned around and went back to her door. As usual, it was wide open.
He peeked in, seeing that her lights were dimmed down. She was laying down, covered by her duvet, her arms crossed under her head. Join me?
"I thought you said you were going to bed," he said as he approached her bed, sitting on the side and removing his trainers. Once they were off, he laid down along side her, propping his head up with one hand while his other reached for her hand, and his fingers softly caressed hers.
"I did," She whispered. She leaned over and kissed him, her lips gently loving his. "I didn't say I was going to sleep," she replied, her voice carrying a small bit of laughter with it. She reached up and began untying his brown and blue swirly tie, her teeth biting down softly on her lower lip. A habit she does whenever she concentrates on something. He smiled, watching her, his lips touching her fingers every so often. She grinned when she had finally freed him from the tie, tossing it to the foot of her bed.
"I didn't thank you," she said, her fingers circling his buttons on his shirt.
"Thank me? For what," He asked, getting lost in the way the candle light danced in the highlights of her hair. There hadn't been candles in here when he came in a few minutes ago, and sent a short, terse message to the Tardis about open flames and matchmaking. The Tardis, as she does when it comes to Shana, pretty much ignored his input on the subject.
"For today. I know you probably had a hundred plans... But I want to thank you for making any plans." He leaned into her again, his lips meeting hers, a sweet, soft kiss before he pulled away.
"Give me just one minute?" Shana nodded, and he stood up. He quickly shucked off his clothes, crawling in under the covers with her. He wrapped his arms around hers, and felt her mind open to him. He returned the gesture, and they laid there quietly for a few minutes, their minds dancing in greeting. "I will admit, I am horrible at making plans," He said quietly. "And there is so much I am still learning about you. But, that will come in time. Just have patience as I learn?"
She nodded, her arms wrapping tighter around him, her head laying on his chest, smiling as she hear the four beats of his two hearts. Behind the hearts, she heard a long, low rumble. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as the sound grew. She smiled then, and looked up at him.
"She thinks she is so damn smart," The Doctor said in a half tease.
"Can ya blame her for trying," Shana said, trying to not laugh.
"Oi! It's like your mother telling you its time to have sex with your girlfriend." She laughed and he smiled as the Tardis piped in the sound of a summer storm into the room.
Shana looked up at him, seeing a small bit of frustration cross his face, and the care he has towards her in his eyes. "Do you trust me," She asked.
He looked at her, and nodded. "Of course I do."
She reached up, her fingertips caressing his temples, and giving to him the memory of the storm from earlier in the day. He had thought it had been powerful then, he hadn't realized how much more it had affected her. He quickly became lost in the storm, in Shana, in time itself.
