Chapter 1: My Sick Haven

What do you do when you have nothing left? When every being and creature despises your very presence? I have tried removing myself- but it never seems to work. Throughout these years in my life, suicide did seem like the smartest thing to do. But of course, how is it even possible- when every chance you get is robbed from you.

If I am ever seen with a sharp object or weapon of any kind- I'm brought down and sedated without hesitation. Who would have any desire to be here- where you're held in a small empty room that gives off an illusion that makes you think your forever in a void, where your dragged out whenever monsters want to do something sadistic to you- it just gets better every day. And fighting back? Well, that would have to be a thing of the past. The pain- its just unbearable anymore. I have enough shit to deal with anyways.

Its odd, I've never thought I'd resort to cowering. Although, I am still repulsed by giving them any kind of obedience- none of them deserved it. But who these creatures are exactly- I'm not sure. None of their faces are ones that I can recognize from the past. But then again, I can't remember anything.. I wouldn't have any problem identifying one within a large crowd of feral vermin though- I know that much. These fuckers resemble the worst kind of filth existing.

With my body convulsing, I couldn't think of any state of being worse than this at the moment. The black tube like "creatures" that were dug into my sides were injecting some type of liquid. They weren't exactly alive, but the texture of them felt like moist skin. Then again, they very well could be alive; every time they're pulled out of something they tend to recoil. Whatever they were, they were causing the worst kind of feeling in me. I didn't know weather to label it as pain or not- it continued to make my body tremble violently.
Three were on either sides of my hips in their own hole they made in my skin.

Parts of my flesh had to be torn so they can fit their mouth spores into me. I wanted to scream, but any attempt to make a sound was futile. My owners were positioned around me. Each one being vigilant and wary of every move I make- any attempt to rise where I lie and they were by side within a second. It seemed liked hours they had me undergo this torture. I know I've lost all my sanity by now- but I still haven't lost my weakness.

There was just nothing I didn't fear anymore; any feeling, any creature- I seemed to be in a world filled with endless demons.


You have fallen... But we've been waiting for you. Your demise came so beautifully- you fell right into our arms, nothing was left of you.
Every piece was broken, but somehow still together. We knew, however, that that couldn't be.
We will break you, infect you. We have you now.
So tell me, do you still value your life?

I moaned in pain as the tubes tightened and pulled at my flesh. The tension was followed by another sharp and forceful injection of the acid- like serum. It was relentless- the torture wouldn't let up. My arms didn't want to move; their refusal increased my level of helplessness. Not that they would do any good if I could use them...

I swear, it was almost like I could feel the liquid moving through each of the six black flowing through, certain parts of the tubes seemed to expand at times. They seemed to be clumps struggling to keep with the flow .I lie there heaving and whimpering as my body came in and out of convulsion. Everyone then seemed to become restless; some moved in closer- surrounding me.

If I could, I'd pull these things right out of me and force one of them down anyone of their throats. Hopefully it would tear through the insides enough to stain the walls and floor with their dark fluid. Although, I must admit- I do grow tired of thinking the same thoughts. The unbearable blood lust that nearly controls me doesn't rest; it's an ongoing disease that makes me feel like a monster- a demon. The reason I cannot endure? Well, I can't exactly satisfy my lust.

The room I was being held in was rather messy-well, more like disgusting. There seemed to be stains everywhere- on the walls, floor, ceiling, and even on some tabletops and used tools. Of course they must of been blood stains; but then they could always be a mix fluids and flesh. It all was a collage of black and mostly brown color.

I looked around, but couldn't see clearly. My vision wasn't right- some things were detailed, and others were simply a blur.; my other hip had it's spores torn out as well. I would have screamed- but I was picked up and thrown against the wall with almost blinding speed. A pained grunt escaped from my mouth as my body made the hard impact.
I deliberately laid where I was, refusing to move or look up.

I simply just didn't want to- even though it would just piss them off even more. Then there was that terrifying silence that settled as I waited for more to come.

Finally, after moments passed, a pair of footsteps began to make their way towards me. They stopped directly beside me and paused a moment more.
Without so much as a warning, I was fiercely grabbed by the nape of my neck, brought up from the floor, and slammed full-force into the wall. My stomach and chest was swelling with pain and anxiety.

There's nothing I can take from them anymore- nothing. Now with it's face right in mine, it breathed heavily chilling my body. Alright, you're too fucking close! Lost in my fear, it said something.
"Is that enough"? It's voice sounded sweet- mockingly sweet. I screamed in return of a sharp pain that was piercing my side. Like it gives a shit whether I've had enough or not!
Seconds passed, and the hold on my neck tightened.


Yet again, I was thrown and landed hard on my back; by now my entire body pulsed with pain. It didn't stop there- they all gathered around me for another attack.
Almost instantly, something tentacle-like and oddly wet was wrapped around my neck.

The moment it did, it painfully tightened and something sharp pierced into my skin. I tried to pry it off me-but my attempts were pathetic. I just couldn't get a good enough grip on it. Shaking with pain, the tentacle suddenly began to produce a slime-like fluid that soaked my hands and neck.

I only moved my hand slightly so I could see it; the color was a reddish brown and seemed to have black bead-like specks throughout it. All in all it was fucking repulsive- the shit was sticking to my flesh and burning like an acid. My worst fear would have to be it sinking through my skin and getting into my system... That may as well be the point though- the first time some type of substance was spread on me, I got severely sick.

I remember hearing haphazard moans and seeing things crawl across the floor due to the side effects it gave me.
The side effects their shit gives me is rather disturbing. I wanted to die... Just so I could get out of my situation. The odds of that? Zero. If they wanted me dead, they would have silenced me long ago.

The tentacle around my neck began to tease me by easing the pain then quickly intensifying it. I was now completely drenched with it's reproducing substance- my arms, chest, and some of it made it's way to my thighs. It practically threw off my senses, I couldn't tell if any of them were still prowling around me. Perhaps it's best not to know, I thought. Then, before I even knew it, the tentacle was ripped from my neck. The sudden removal of it brought me back to reality... Not that I wanted to be back.

I didn't feel anything at first, but then my neck and throat was nothing but burning plasma. Hands clutching the very spot, I could feel nothing but my own skin... And the holes that must have been penetrated through when the mother fucker was still on me- and of course the same wetness that it spilled earlier before.

In the back round before me, I saw the parasitic creature slightly squirming in one of there holds. Kill it... Slice it open, I thought with venom. I turned my focus to the floor, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. It would probably lead to more unwanted confrontation... I felt sick- and churned with uneasiness. As a result I began to puke. I pulled my hair back and bent over slightly as the contents spilled from my mouth.

When I was finished I let my hands fall to the floor to support me. What now? Or are you all done with your sick games? In response to my thoughts, both of my arms were grabbed and pulled behind my back- then hoisted up and "cradled" by one of them. There was no way of me getting out of this hold; it's arms were just too strong for me. We started moving- but I had no idea where it was taking me.

Now moving down a hallway, I began to see things a little more clearly.

I was being carried down an average- sized corridor that was dimmed but had fluorescent purple glowing illumination light up some areas for visibility. I don't think I've been down here before... This area was new to me- although I've seen others that were similar. As I shifted uncomfortably, I examined one of the orbs on the wall that were aglow. If it weren't for them, we would be in complete darkness.

Studying every detail, I could see their glossy surface shine with a wet outer layer. They were quite beautiful- but haunting at the same time. Despite the beauty of it, I felt an uneasiness among the purple aurora. It was like walking through a seductive hell. I felt a sense of deception as I drifted further and further into it. What seemed harmless and welcoming would be absolutely deadly...


My bindings that now held me were considerably tight; what they were made of though I couldn't exactly classify. But what struck me as odd is that I've never seen the... "clean" part of this place. Everything seemed to be in a certain order. Although I couldn't really see much from where I was; I was laid out on a table in the center of the room. Before my restraints were tightened and secured, I caught a glance at the floor and noticed tubes sprouting from it and that they connected to the bottom of the table. Within the tubes I saw a dark crimson like liquid flowing through them. It also had clumps of a decent size moving with the current.

I saw that there was one towards the front, and another positioned in the back of the table. No doubt that they were corresponding and there were two others on the opposite side. Okay, I know one way or another that shits going to end up in my body- please may they be sedatives... I was getting my hopes up. Whatever was going to happen they would want me to be awake for it.

Of course I could only guess at what exactly they were going to do. As I looked around I could see many monitors attached to the walls and stationed on small holding tables. The room was considerably dark. My attention was focused on the endless information scrolling down almost all the of the screens. I couldn't possibly comprehend the alien language that it was displaying. On another screen, there was an odd symbol flashing off and on within it's dark surface. It wasn't long before someone came over and played with a few buttons and controls.

With the flashing image gone, the screen came to life. Was probably just a malfunction, I though absentmindedly. Turning my attention elsewhere, I noticed many other technical equipment. As I looked around more, I found two others towards the front of the room. One was showing the other a small hand-held device; I was guessing that it contained some kind of important info of some sort.

But the other wasn't exactly showing interest in it- just giving short responses to the one beside it and hardly attempting to pay attention. Rather than the device, it's attention was focused on me.

It's stare seemed to be unbreakable and intimidating. The creature studied me for at least five minutes straight- under the oddest reasons finding me something eligible to observe... At times I felt like I was being given glares and strange glances. Not surprising considering where I am of course...

I was able to hear one of them make their way over to me;although they were walking at a slow pace in which I could barley even hear them coming. This wasn't one of the two with the device though, this was one that I haven't noticed yet. It powered a light above me that was invisible before. Rather small, but it lit up the rest of my body clearly. The color flowing from the source was almost dark- and yet it gave off a clear view of me. I was utterly confused by it.

But this isn't the strangest thing I've seen here... More of them were gathered around me- almost as if they were waiting for an order to do something. As time passed by I began to grow more anxious.

Now the light above me was beginning to darken even more, most likely increasing the clarity. As odd as it seemed, it did it's job perfectly. Trying to see the full outcome of it, I raised my head with much difficulty. Although I could only raise it slightly, it was enough to see what I wanted. There, before my eyes, I saw my body nearly glowing. If not that, it brought out my bodies paleness dramatically. I then laid my head back down- seeing enough of the odd glow that I now possess.

Suddenly they all began to talk amongst each other; whispering things that were incomprehensible to my understanding. At times they would speak one language, then one or two sentences later switch to a different one. Most of the time only a few words were in a language I could understand- which made knowing whats next much more harder. Now, of course, they were speaking something completely alien to me. Apart from the misunderstanding of words- they were far too quiet for me hear anything they're saying. All I could make out was odd sounds and twisting of words...

There was more now; about three -no- six more were now present. I didn't care for the amount of them in here- it made me scared. Maybe they're here for the show? Or just more participants looking forward to do their part. Although, a few times I have observed something like this- the theory I got led me to believe that some of them were being trained for this type of...profession. Well, whether it being that, or that they were just here for their sadistic desires, they were going to get the satisfaction I feel their looking for.


My attention was cut from them the second I heard the low rumble of a machine being activated. I turned my head to where the activation took place and saw one of them digging it's arm deep down into the machinery. It's arm was moving around rapidly- almost as if it was trying to find or catch something. The mechanism appeared to have a pool of a thick substance atop of it. It had just the right square shape to holding something such as a liquid.

Pulling it's arm out, it appeared that the creature finally found what it was looking for. With it's first clenched, I saw that it's entire arm was drenched with the dark looking slime that came from the device that held it's pool. Okay, from the looks of this, I know somehow I'm gonna get fucked up. Disturbing thoughts drifted through my mind as I thought of the things they have in store. Well, when am I not worrying about that? There's always something that makes me paranoid- that makes me crave death.

I once again examined it's arm, then glanced at it's hand which was holding something with a firm grip. Or was it? I tried to get a closer look- but the creature began to leave. What the hell was this? I wanted to have this done and over with now. Worried, I began to look elsewhere and noticed the observers were quite interested in what it was doing as well. Although the being did not go far- it simply walked over the an odd looking mechanism.

Unfortunately, it's actions gave no indication to what exactly it was up to. I continued to stare and try to fathom what the hell the thing was trying to do. After so long, I began to learn and adapt to my surroundings. Which means I payed close attention to everyone and everything around me, so if I happened to catch a glance at what one of them is getting ready to do- I had a much higher chance of preparing myself for what would take place.

Really though, it didn't help a great deal- it just made things...slightly less scary. I looked around at the ones surrounding me. I had the feeling that they were all watching me- not that I could actually see them, it was far too dark... My body was the only thing that was "lit up", so to speak. Basically all I could really see was the outline of their bodies- nothing more.

Now they seemed to be getting restless; a few of them twitched a little and shifted their weight. Then there was one- it cocked it's head to one side. No doubt trying to figure out what the hell would be appropriate punishment; for entertaining reasons none the less. Although there was something different about this group- I could not exactly point it out, but they seemed...unlike others that I have experienced. Perhaps it was their field of experience- was this there first time with me?

It would make sense... They would be the ones that were more curious than simply bear searing hatred. But none of that matters, because they are still just as capable of inflicting the same kind of pain that I constantly endure. Either that, or they would come up with new ways of torment.

I tensed my muscles at the restraints- they were strong. I then looked around to see what was visible... Almost nothing, of course. The feeling of being watched was still with me- I knew there was almost always eyes on me, but I guess it would be safe to say that there's weren't exactly menacing. Unexpectedly, I felt something on my thigh; it wasn't hurting me, it just seemed to be sitting there. Then I felt a soft sweep going along that area. The feeling on my thigh then left- it was thankfully very short. I began to study the barley visible outlines almost surrounding me, something seemed off about one of them. I tried to study that one carefully, then quickly figured it out. It's hand...It touched me...

I wish I could say that it was a bold move- but there would be nothing to fear, I can't do anything. And of course it was taking advantage of that... I then heard soft thuds against the floor- the being who's arm was covered in a liquid was returning. The way they carried themselves just disturbed me even further, and had an intimidating effect. There was just something wrong about everything they did- well aside from my treatment anyways.

Once again present, the creature stood close to where I was lying. I was now eager to know what it was going to do...Or was I? Honestly I would much rather curl up in a dark little place and fall into a lifeless dream. A state completely void of pain or fear.

I think I remember knowing in some point in my life, that creatures feared death- that they would cower and try to escape it in any way possible. But that seemed so unreal now. Is life not something you should fear more? Fearing something such as death is something I couldn't fathom; then of course I didn't know how...to find death. If what these monsters are doing to me now won't kill me, then what will? It isn't worth trying to figure out- it was simply beyond my understanding.

The being was now inches away from my face. I could feel it's breath and gaze on my bare skin- it bore hatred.


It had shoved something down my throat- something that very well may have been living. I wasn't exactly sure, but whatever it was it felt like it was moving. Whatever it was, it slid smoothly and easily down the rest of the way- most likely moving towards something that would take huge effect. Somehow the phrase "living virus" slipped into my mind, making me jump to several conclusions. I could of sworn that I felt the thing trying to find its way around; squirming and exploring every corner. Then there came that urge to grasp something sharp and show my newcomer its way out...

While they all chattered with their distinct growls and words, I tried my best to zone out. But not relax of course... I can't remember the last time that was even possible.

My time of ignoring reality was over- because something hard was brought down on my stomach, causing me to give out somewhat of a loud yelp. The blow got me scared- it was usually an indication that I were about to be mercilessly beaten... How nice- the instructor was showing off to his students, I though with dark amusement. But just then I realized, it wasn't the leader who had struck me- it was one of it's followers. I sensed that that one was becoming a bit cocky about his successful attack. I could of sworn I heard it snicker while the others simply murmured something that sounded like praises.

I wish I could of ignored them, but it just seemed too difficult. Everything felt so overwhelming- I needed to get of here...

Closing my eyes, I though that keeping my surroundings out of sight could be a slight cure- but despite the dark of them being closed, there was still images. They were all painful and frightening. It's as if someone or something knew exactly what struck the most fear into me- that would destroy my core. What was it though? What had wrought in the dark that made the monster? But then there may not be an answer... There may have been no beginning to this- which makes me think there will be no end.

Before I must have been too out there to notice my binds were gone. Of course, I don't always need bonds to keep me in place, and they knew that. Fear plays a huge role in keeping me in my place, as it always did. I'm sure there wasn't anything more they wanted than to end me...Of course I still don't know- have they yet?

Out of nowhere, shearing pain began to travel throughout my entire body-it almost made me feel like my muscles were making involuntary movements. I didn't want to, but yet I had no choice, and despite myself- I screamed in distress. I couldn't even remember when I began...It just happened.

Then I was being lifted by arms. I was now in a tight hold by the creature that was clinging to me. I hung limply staring at the floor, looking at what I thought to be fresh blood staining it. The scene began to get smaller and less visible as we ventured further away.