Red Alert 2 – The Drama

Disclaimer- The only thing in this story that I own is Caroline. Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2 belongs to whoever created it, which isn't me. I have nothing to do with t.A.T.u. or any of their songs either. Or Britney Spears. So I own nothing. So don't sue me. Please.

The scene opens on Premier Romanov's office, midday. He is sitting in his bathtub, playing with his plastic boats. Zofia is dusting the plaques on the wall, when the doorbell rings.

Romanov- Zofia! Get the door!

Zofia- Yes, sir.

Zofia runs downstairs to answer the door. Crazy Ivan is standing at the door.

Zofia- Hello, Ivan.

Ivan- Hi. I got the weapon that Premier Romanov wanted.

Zofia- Good! He's been whining all morning about it.

Ivan motions to two young women sitting in his car. They get out and follow him towards the Kremlin.

Zofia- (to the 2 young women) I'm sorry, no visitors allowed.

Ivan- They're with me.

So Zofia and Ivan walk up to Romanov's office, where he is sitting in the tub, watching Flipper and still playing with the boats.

Ivan- I'm here with the weapon you requested, sir.

Romanov- Good! Show me what ya got!

Ivan- Ok. You see, I figured brute force would be too typical, the Americans are expecting it. So I decided to try something stealthy.

Romanov- (eyeing the two young ladies) ..and how are they involved in it?

Ivan- Because they can appeal to Americans, letting them lower their guard and giving us the chance to strike!

Zofia- (laughs) How can they do that?

Ivan- Just listen.

The 2 ladies- DOSCHITI! DOSCHITI! DOSCHITI!

Romanov and Zofia look at Ivan with puzzled expressions on their faces.

Zofia- What's that mean?

Ivan- It's the words 'they should die' sang quickly and accented just enough that the Americans will get the message without knowing it!

Zofia- Genius. What do you call your 'band' ?

Ivan- Tatu.

Zofia- Good name. But how exactly will you draw fans?

Ivan- They'll sing songs in English to get people hooked. Then we'll announce that they're Russian, and for double the price of the English CD, they can buy the Russian one. The Russian one, I might add, has anti-American subliminal messages.

Romanov- They suck. Zofia, get my Britney Spears CD!

Zofia- Yes sir. (Goes to get his CD)

They hear banging on the door.

Romanov- ZOFIA! Get the door!

Zofia- Yes sir.

Zofia answers the door.

Caroline- HOW DO, GREENHORNS?!

Zofia screams bloody murder.

Romanov- Oh my...someone go help Zofia.

That's it for chapter one! I'll have #2 posted shortly. Please r&r!!