An Alex Elliot fic that is set before ghost. I don't own Alex or Elliot. Do not archive.


I remember how it was

3am phone calls, court dates and working lunches

Never enough hours in the day

But know that's what I dream of.

Now I'm never called before 9am

Court dates are instead insurance evaluations

Working lunches have become lunch dates.

I remember how we were,

Working around our jobs and lives,

Being discreet for your family.

Now I can be with him all the time,

I can walk down the street holding his hand,

But I don't, I never can.

The ice queen is back.

I remember that day

You found me at a bar drowning my sorrows

That was the first time we had sex.

Hot, angry, wild, passionate sex.

I don't go to bars anymore,

And now I make love,

Tame gentle, slow and caring.

I remember when I had no fear.

Now I have panic attacks because of load noises

And I cant tell anyone why.

I have to lie, so I forget Alexandra

So I become Emily

Alex wouldn't like Emily,

Emily is boring

I remember how you were.

Strong and stubborn

My new boyfriend will do what I ask,

I find it patronizing.

You and I often disagreed,

He changes his opinion to match mine.

I wonder if he has an opinion.

The only things you two have in common are your eyes,

Electric blue that can melt my heart of ice.

I remember being with you.

Looking into your electric blue eyes,

Eyes that could pierce my soul.

Lying in your arms as you played with my hair.

You telling me you loved me.

Asking me to get of the Zapata case,

Now I wish I had.

I remember, do you?