Breaking of a Stallion
Leonard McCoy had told Spock that day if he were to ride in the Kentucky Derby, he wouldn't leave his prized stallion in the stable. Of course he was talking about Jim Kirk; the stupid bastard had gotten himself stranded on Delta Vega for mutiny. And Spock, following right along with it had said that it was curious metaphor considering that a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its potential.
He didn't think Spock was being literal at the time, because Jim was being a bitch and yeah, the blond moron managed to piss off everyone on the Bridge, even himself. So when Spock said that he didn't think much of it. Not until Jim had managed to get back on board, saving everyone's lives in the end of that giant black hole trying to suck them in. Terrifying as it was, only minutes after escaping it, the adrenaline that had been coursing through every crew members' body had disappeared, leaving them all exhausted.
A couple hours ago Leonard finished surgery on Captain Pike; he of course was going to make it, with a few minor complications. The inactive captain lies asleep in Medbay, amongst the wreckage.
Leonard now has the duty of caring for all the patients. By now the critical have all been treated and almost everyone has been accounted for, dead and alive. The Medbay itself seems to be overflowing, yet somehow still functioning with its minimum staffing. He himself has been on duty for countless hours; he's already lost count of how many stimulants he's taken.
It's only a tap on his shoulder that makes his head spin, and he almost falls over on his heels. God, he'd been zoning out for only god knows long.
"Doctor McCoy?"
Chapel is standing before him, her face reddened with exertion from the day, yet her eyes gleam somewhat hopeful despite the death lingering in their midst.
"Yes?" He licks his lips, clearing his throat, trying to look as professional as he can.
"Doctor, you were supposed to be relieved of duty after Captain Pike's surgery sir."
Right, he forgot about that. Apparently he'd just been so caught up in treating and taking care of everyone else that in the act of helping he'd forgotten that he was supposed to get some much needed rest.
"It's fine, really." He waves her off with a chuckle, because damn it, there are still people in needing of attention.
But the look on her face has him wheeling, "Doctor, I can reassure you that Medbay will function just fine without you. Now please, the sooner you rest, the sooner you can relieve another doctor for rest."
He nods, it makes sense, he just doesn't really know where to go.
"You have the chief medical officer's quarters." Chapel informs him.
That's right; he's the chief medical officer now. He almost sighs, so much has happened, its taking a lot of time to process all of it.
"Do you need help finding it?"
Damn, he must've just stared at her or something. He coughs, shaking his head, "No thank you nurse, I can find it on my own."
The blonde nurse manages a warming smile, before heading off, leaving him to his own resources.
Blinking a few more times, he gets himself to leave Medbay, quite reluctantly still, but gets to his quarters nonetheless. He's barely gotten himself out of his dirty boots and clothes before he's crashing into the cushions of the mattress, his body sinking away into the bliss of the softness of it.
All the tense muscles in his back fade and his thoughts disappear into the dark. His eyes flutter shut and he can sense his breathing growing shallow with sleep.
Then, how could he be so stupid? How could he possibly forget? He's such a dumbass.
The door opens and light floods in. He shifts, glancing over his shoulder because when landing on the bed he ended up lying on his stomach, and he didn't have the energy to roll over onto his back.
There's glint behind the figure, setting the blond hair golden.
"B-Bones…?"
The figure keels over, collapsing onto hands and knees as the door shuts behind him.
Sleep is forgotten as he scrambles up, rushing to his best friend's side.
"Jim? Jim talk to me kid."
The blond is hyperventilating, hands shaking as Leonard brings him to sit upright. He can feel Jim's anxiety coming off of him in waves, his whole body trembling beneath his grasp.
How did he forget about Jim? The kid has been through hell and back again, who knows what injuries lay beneath his golden uniform.
"Bones." Jim squeaks, his breath hitching as he grips Leonard's shirt, struggling for each breath.
Jim's wheezing, eyes wide as his panic attack reaches its climax.
He snaps into action immediately. He's dealt with this before. Jim had panic attacks back in the academy days; some much worse than this even.
With practiced ease, he positions himself in front of Jim, adjusting the kid's hand to feel his chest. Then, grabbing his head, he pushes their foreheads together, closing his eyes.
"Jim, its okay, breathe with me okay?"
Jim's nodding against him, his body still shaking.
"Okay, in."
He sucks in a breath, and Jim tries to copy him, ultimately failing and starting to choke.
"Hey, hey, breathe in." Leonard instructs again, and this time Jim's successful, though he releases too quickly for his liking.
But after several attempts, his breathing begins to even out, and his body slowly starts to sag more heavily into his own. The kid's completely broken, drained of all energy as he leans against Leonard.
"That's it kid, you're alright."
He doesn't expect Jim's desperate sob. He can't even begin to fathom what is disturbing the younger man, let alone figure out what is driving him to cry openly into his receiving arms.
"Shh, it's okay." He holds him close, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and his other forcing his head down so the kid can crumble into him, sobbing helplessly.
With each cry his lungs hitch and he coughs and chokes on his tears shamelessly, all Leonard can do is turn off doctor mode and be Bones. Just to hold him close, to rock back and forth and hum the tunes he used to hum when they were both younger, both broken.
But this, Leonard doesn't even know what this is. Jim's not just upset, he's not just hurt or mourning the lost, he's broken, shattered and miserable. He's so lost it doesn't take a vulcan to feel the emotion emitting from him.
"Jim, please, what's wrong kid?" He finally says it, his voice barely above a whisper in the darkness.
Jim shakes his head into his shoulder, "It's my fault they're dead."
He closes his eyes. Despite the kid's appearance, the compassion and heart he carries his huge, he should've known Jim's heart would break with the destruction of Vulcan. He should've known Jim would take it personal, that he would blame himself.
"There's nothing more you could've done." It's all he can manage to say, and it doesn't even sound believable, even to himself.
The kid doesn't reply, he's still quivering in Leonard's arms, crying himself breathless.
And it's when the kid is sniffling that Leonard brings him to his feet, pulling him to the bed, helping the kid strip himself of his clothes, leaving him clad in his boxers.
The blond's skin is tattered with bruises; it's a miracle that he's still alive by the looks of it. Ribs definitely bruised, maybe some broken. His throat is swollen and purple, the golden uniform no longer hiding it. And with the bandage gone, his left hand has swelled back up, knuckles stiff and broken.
But the doctor mode in Leonard is gone; all that's left is his bones. Jim's Bones.
So instead of pulling out his tricorder, he brings Jim underneath the blankets with him, letting the blond curl up into his chest, with him lying on his side facing him. Jim's head tucks beneath his chin and the smaller body begins to shake as the sobs come up again.
He's just so broken, Leonard's not even sure if he can fix it. But maybe through this Jim will become better, better than anyone could've imagined. Because maybe Spock didn't break him, but still in the end Jim had been broken and like the pointy eared bastard had said, "…a stallion must first be broken to reach its potential."
