A/N

This story was originally posted on another site.

There are mentions and references to all types of child abuse in this work, nothing graphically described and mostly told in either nightmare form or memories. Please do not read if this is likely to upset you or cause triggering. The last thing I want to do is upset or offend anybody. There will be approx 6 chapters, the first 5 are written so updating will be fairly quick.

Please let me know what you think, even if you hate it.

Obviously I only own my OC's, the rest I just borrow to torment and cause angst!

Thanks for reading and enjoy.

xx

Chapter One

The bedroom door slamming back against the wall woke the boy abruptly from his fitful sleep. Rubbing his hand across his face he sat slowly, not taking his eyes from the two figures framed in the doorway.

"Well?" The bigger of the two rasped "What'd yer say?"

The boy cowered back instinctively as the smaller man stepped further into the room, not taking his eyes from the skinny figure in the threadbare, too small pyjamas, huddled on the bed in front of him.

"Pa?" the boy's voice was quiet, nervous and unsure as he pulled his knees to his chest, trying to make himself smaller.

"Hush yer noise, boy!" his father snapped. The child noticed the man's hands were shaking, he was fidgety and twitching, his whole body language one of agitation and frustration. Even at such a young age he knew his Pa was suffering from withdrawal symptoms. There'd been no money for drugs for almost a week, in fact there'd been no money for anything and he'd not eaten for two days. His stomach grumbled at the thought of food and he curled up even tighter as the stranger continued to stare at him.

"How old?" the man asked without turning away.

"'bout 8, maybe 9. Aint really sure anymore" his father replied, looking hopefully at the other man.

"Well, we got a deal or what?" he asked.

The man reached into an inside pocket in his jacket and pulled out a clear plastic bag containing a small amount of white powder. He glanced over his shoulder, smiling at the eager look on the older man's face at sight of it.

"Yeah" he grinned as he handed the baggie over "We got a deal"

The man the boy had become woke suddenly, barely managing to hold back the whimper that threatened to escape. He lay on his back in the bed breathing hard, his body clammy and trembling as images from the vivid dream came flooding back. This was the fifth night in a row he'd had this nightmare and each night had got a little worse.

His breathing slowed as he sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the mattress and pulling his boots on. He knew there would be no more sleep to be had tonight. He'd had no more than a few hours rest on each of the previous occasions and he was exhausted but he knew it was pointless to even try.

Silently he slipped out of the small room that he had finally claimed as his own, accepting at last that maybe Alexandria was a place they could be safe, a place they could call home. He'd spent the first few weeks after they arrived refusing to settle, choosing to sleep on the porch of Rick's house, still going out hunting and gutting the animals he caught on the veranda, in full view of the townsfolk who were suitably disgusted. It hadn't been long before the complaints started and Rick had been forced to speak to him about it. He hadn't stopped, just become more discreet.

He opened the front door and slipped outside into the warm darkness. The last two nights had been spent pacing the streets, wandering aimlessly around the town, trying to make himself so tired dreamless sleep would follow. So far it hadn't worked.

As he paced he tried to figure out why the dreams had started up again. He'd not had them since before the turn and had managed to repress so many bad memories. Now it was as if a floodgate had been opened and he could no longer control the flow of unwanted images.

It had all began when they found that damn doctor woman. He and Aaron had come across a group of two women and three men surviving in a car repair shop on the edge of a small non-descript town. They seemed to be doing okay, they had supplies and were organised and careful, making sure someone was on watch at all times, keeping their guard up.

Aaron had listened to their conversations for a couple of hours as they tried to find out what sort of people they were.

"Daryl" He'd called excitedly "The brunette, they all keep calling her Doc" he flashed a grin at his companion

"We have to take them back. We've needed a doctor since we lost Pete two weeks ago"

Daryl shrugged,

"Guess so" he muttered absently, as he fiddled with the throttle on his motorcycle.

Aaron had eavesdropped a while longer before making the final decision to approach the small group. He'd lead the way, they both knew his neat, well dressed appearance was the least threatening, the least likely to get them shot on sight.

They'd approached slowly, Aaron with his arms held out at his sides, palms facing forward, a friendly smile planted on his face as he spoke reassuringly to the cautious group.

Daryl trailed along behind him, trying and failing to look harmless. Even with his crossbow slung across his shoulders and his hands well away from his other weapons he still managed to look intimidating. All Aaron and Eric's gentle suggestions about haircuts and clean clothes had been ignored. He still wore the same pants he had arrived at Alexandria in, the rip over his knee getting bigger daily. His shoes were held together with duct tape and string and his leather vest had seen better days. He'd been forced to find some new shirts when his old ones had mysteriously had some kind of laundry mishap, after Carol had sneaked into his room and gathered up everything she could find. She'd barely tried to hide the grin as she held up the unwearable shirts, apologetically telling him where he could go find some better ones. He still hadn't worked out how hand washing a few shirts could rip them to shreds and why it had only happened to his. He had his suspicions but Carol denied any wrongdoing.

He hung back, watching the group as Aaron finally convinced them to come back to Alexandria, which had then caused the next problem. With five additional people and their belongings there wasn't enough room in the SUV Aaron was driving.

"Battery died on our car a week or so back" a large well-built man, with grey hair and an impressive grey beard had explained "Haven't been able to find a replacement" He'd gone on to introduce himself as Ian Cooper.

"Call me Coop, everyone else does" He told them how he'd worked as a site manager for a construction company before going on to introduce the rest of his group.

"Serious looking little lady here is Marcie. She might not look much but she's sure saved our asses on many occasion" he nodded to a young , short woman, a grin on his face as she rolled her eyes at him, nervously removing her studious looking glasses, cleaning them on her sweater before giving the strangers a nervous smile.

"Hello" she said hesitantly "he means what I lack in physical prowess I more than make up for with mental agility. Lateral thinking and problem solving are my speciality"

Coop gave a bellow of laughter as the two newcomers exchanged glances.

"Marcie here is a real smart ass, worked in a lab before the shit happened. Give her the right tools and she can fix just about anything. Knows a hell of a lot about science and crap too" he teased.

"We have someone back home you'll really get on with" Aaron smiled, thinking about Eugene and vowing to make sure he never got caught in a conversation with the two of them.

A thin man in his 20's was introduced as Colin Matthews, a former web page designer, who apparently was the 'man you wanted backing you up in a scrap'

The last man was in his 30's and male model handsome. Daryl bit back the snigger when he saw his companion discreetly checking him out.

"Ethan Brody" he told Aaron, his voice smooth and friendly. Daryl disliked him on sight, more so when he saw the man wipe his hands on his pants after giving him a rather limp and insipid handshake. Turning his back, feeling pretty insulted, Daryl caught the eye of the remaining woman, the one they had been calling Doc. She gave him an apologetic smile holding her own hand out.

"Jasmine Harvey" she told him before leaning forward and muttering "Ignore him, he's an asshole",

Daryl shrugged, pulling his hand free.

"Whatever" he mumbled returning to the bike.

"And clearly not the only one" Jasmine called out behind him, humour in her voice.

Daryl shot her his best glare, irritated to see it had no effect whatsoever.

"We gonna stand around making small talk all day or we gonna get back before night fall?" He yelled at Aaron, causing the man to frown at him.

"We're just trying to sort out the transport" Aaron explained "You're going to have to take someone on the bike"

"Just get it sorted then. Don't wanna be out here after dark" Daryl grumbled as he swung his leg over the bike, kick starting it and waiting impatiently.

"Aint got room for the big guy" He indicated the small space behind him. Coop laughed.

"Damn it man, aint never ridden bitch before in my life and I don't plan to start now" he commented.

"I'll go" Jasmine came forward "Rode with my brother all the time so I'm used to it" Before anyone could object she climbed on and settled herself behind Daryl. At once he pulled away, accelerating down the road without a backwards glance.

Aaron caught Marcie gazing down the road, a wistful expression on her face.

"If you don't mind me asking" she glanced shyly at him "What is your companion's current relationship status?"

Aaron shook his head in disbelief.

"It's the bike" he thought to himself "It's got to be the bike"

As he raced down the road Daryl had to admit that the woman behind him seemed to know what she was doing on the back of a bike. She held on just enough to not fall off, usually he found any woman behind him held on much more tightly than they needed to, usually pressed against his back in a way that made him feel uncomfortable. She moved the right way on the bends, following the movement of the vehicle and seemed relaxed and confident, none of the annoying squeaks or giggles he usually got from female passengers when he accelerated.

After an hour of travelling he began to slow, giving the car behind time to catch up.

"Thank you" her voice close to his ear startled him and he shot her an annoyed look.

"Thank you for letting me come with you. I couldn't go in the car with Ethan. That man does not know how to keep his hands to himself" Jasmine explained.

At once Daryl pulled the bike over to the side of the road and turned to her.

"You tellin' me we're gonna have a problem? He gonna get handsy with the women we got back home?" He demanded

"I don't think it will be an issue. I'll get Coop to have a word with him. He can be quite persuasive when he needs to be. Please, we need this. It's getting too hard to survive out there now. We need a community with walls and shelter!" Jasmine pleaded with him.

Daryl thought for a second before replying.

"You just tell him he lays a hand on anyone who don't want it and I'll stomp his pretty boy face into the ground" he threatened, starting the bike again as the car came into view and they continued on to Alexandria.

That had been almost three weeks ago and the newcomers were now well established in the small gated community. During the interviews with Deanna it had come out that Jasmine was not a medical Doctor but a psychologist, with a limited medical knowledge.

Disappointed but undeterred the former congresswoman had put her to work straight away, telling every member of the community they were to arrange a meeting with the young doctor, wanting her to assess if any others were showing signs of instability, like Pete and Nicolas

As far as he knew Daryl was now the only one who had not seen her, managing to avoid even passing her in the street. He was sick of people telling him how wonderful she was, how she had helped them deal with so many issues, how she made them feel like a better person. Even Rick had suggested it might be an idea for him to just spend a few moments with the woman.

"Why in the hell do I need to go see some damn head doctor?" he'd demanded aggressively "I aint got no issues need sortin'"

"You sure?" his friend had responded, raising his eyebrow slightly "that sounds a whole lot like denial to me"

"You don't know what yer talkin' about!" He snarled before stalking off. That was the night of the first nightmare.

Now he was angrily pacing around the dark, silent town trying to push back memories he'd repressed for so long.

With a sigh he pulled out one of his remaining few cigarettes, clamping it between his lips as he searched his pockets for his lighter before remembering he'd left it on the chair in his room.

"Goddamnit!" he muttered yanking the unlit cigarette from his mouth.

"You need a light for that?"

The soft voice came from the darkened porch of the nearest house, startling him, making him realise how messed up he was not to have noticed the woman standing there, a glowing cigarette in her hand.

With a muttered oath he realised it was the very person he'd been trying to keep away from. He stared at her for a few seconds, waiting for her to say something else but she remained silent. Finally his need for a smoke outweighed his reluctance to speak to her and he made his way across the lawn and onto the porch.

Jasmine watched as the man stood several feet from her, shifting on his feet uncomfortably and chewing on the skin at the side of his thumb, his body language screaming nervousness . She'd seen him walking the streets for the last few nights and wondered why. She was fully aware he was the only one who hadn't been to see her and that was more than enough to make her curious.

"You gotta light or not?" he snarled gruffly, trying to sound confident and aggressive and failing. Her professional ear picked up the slight quiver in his voice and she saw the way he was refusing to look at her directly, his body angled away as he watched her from the corner of his eye.

"Here" she said as she took a pull on the cigarette between her lips, causing the end to glow red. She saw the hesitation before he straightened his back and moved towards her, his own unlit cigarette back in his mouth. He leaned forward, bending at the waist to keep as much distance between them as was possible and touched the end of his cigarette to hers, taking a couple of pulls until his ignited before retreating to the other side of a small table and lawn chairs, set next to the front door.

"Thanks" he mumbled, shooting her a quick glance, noting her small smile.

"What's so damn funny?" he demanded, scowling as her smile grew wider.

"Interesting how the need for nicotine overcame the need to keep your distance from contact with another person" she commented.

"You tryin' to analyse me now? Get in my head and screw around with it like you done with everyone else?" Daryl snarled at the still smiling woman.

"I wasn't aware I'd screwed with anyone's head" she told him easily, not phased at all by his aggressive attitude.

"People have come and talked to me, I've listened, given advice where appropriate and they've gone on their way, some happier than others" She gave him an assessing look.

"You're the only one who hasn't come to see me yet, Mr Dixon" Jasmine commented, dropping the stub of her cigarette and grinding it out with her foot.

"Why is that?"

"Aint got no need to have some damn doctor poking around in my head. Got nothing I need to discuss with some college bitch" Daryl was deliberately being offensive, trying to scare her off, not realising his behaviour was just making her more and more interested in him.

"Why do you walk the streets every night?" she asked suddenly "What's stopping you from sleeping?"

He stopped ranting , glaring at her before replying.

"What's stopping you?" he challenged "You see me walkin' about means you aint all tucked up, so why aint you sleeping?"

He was surprised to hear her give a loud laugh.

"Good answer" she chuckled "and fair point" She turned, heading for her front door "Wait there, I'll just be a second" she said as she disappeared inside. Childishly he turned and headed for the steps, intending to leave, no intention of doing as she said.

He heard the creak of floorboards behind him and turned to see Jasmine standing in the doorway, a glass in each hand. She smiled as she saw him hesitating at the edge of the steps.

"So predictable" she sighed, holding one of the glasses towards him.

"Here, have a drink with me" she shook the glass and he heard the chink of ice cubes.

"Come on, it's the good stuff. Drink with me and I'll tell you why I stole it from Deanna's house this afternoon"

All his instincts told him to leave but the lure of the whiskey was too strong, and he had to admit he was curious as to why she would steal from the illustrious leader. He found himself snatching the offered glass from her hand.

Jasmine settled herself on one of the chairs next to the table, indicating he sat in the other. Stubbornly he ignored her, instead leaning on the wooden rails running the length of the porch. She hid her small smile in her glass as she took a sip of the smooth Scotch, watching discreetly as he fished in the glass with his dirty fingers, pulling the ice cubes out and dropping them on the wooden floor.

"Don't need nothing in a good whiskey" he growled, finally allowing himself a sip. The alcohol slid down his throat, surprising him with it's rich, smooth taste. The whiskey he was used to drinking was usually rough enough to strip paint, in fact he had used it in the past to clean engine parts on his bike.

"Shit, that is good!" he admitted as he took another mouthful.

"Go on then, why'd yer lift it from the old bag's house?" he asked.

Jasmine shrugged.

"She pissed me off" she confessed "I saw it there and I like good scotch, so I helped myself on the way out"

She took another sip, watching him through lowered eyes before speaking again.

"She wanted me to talk to people, to find out if I thought there were any others here with issues that might cause a problem in the future, and after what happened to her husband I don't blame her. I met with everyone" she glanced at him again.

"Well almost everyone" she smiled, ignoring his scowl as she continued .

"As far as I could see there was no one here I would consider a potential risk. All sorts of other more personal, private issues but nothing dangerous. Deanna tried to insist I handed over all the notes I took during the consultations. I felt that she had no need to see them, people had told me a lot of things in confidence and I wasn't prepared to betray that. I still believe that doctor/patient confidentiality should stand. She saw it differently and we had words" Jasmine took another sip from the glass and leaned back in the chair.

"Damn woman's on an ego trip, thinks she's all that 'cos she used to be a congresswoman

or some crap" Daryl finally made his way to the chair across the table from Jasmine and sat, swigging the rest of his drink in one mouthful.

"Well, she kind of implied that unless I did what she wanted I wouldn't be welcome in Alexandria much longer and those I came in with would have to go as well" She sighed

"I don't know what to do, I don't want to give in to her but I can't let Marcie, Coop and the others be thrown out because of my principals" Jasmine set her empty glass carefully on the table, next to Daryl's before meeting his eye.

"You want some more of that the bottle's on the kitchen counter, go grab it"

He didn't argue and was soon filling both glasses with the amber liquid.

"Now when she gets Constable Grimes to investigate the theft of her property your fingerprints will be all over the evidence" she laughed, surprised to hear him give a small snort of laughter.

"Doubt Rick'll be too bothered by a missing bottle of whiskey, 'specially if you save him a glass" he countered.

Jasmine gave him a concerned look.

"Mr Dixon, are you telling me the authorities here are corrupt and open to bribes?" She asked, keeping her face straight.

"That's a very serious accusation, I really should report it to those in charge"

The concerned look that crossed his face made it impossible for her to hold back her grin, which widened when she heard him mutter under his breath.

"Bitch"

Still smiling she reached over and topped up both glasses again.

They shared a couple more drinks in a companionable silence and Daryl found himself relaxing in her company, she had a quirky sense of humour and entertained him with stories about some of her previous patients, back when she was the youngest partner in a practice in DC. She actually managed to make him choke on a mouthful of his drink when she told him about one of her clients particular fetishes.

"And he thought it was perfectly okay to do this as long as he wore the long, black rubber gloves!" She finished as he coughed and spluttered, trying and failing to regain some dignity.

"Jeez!" He managed "How the hell you keep a straight face talking to freaks like that?"

"Years of training and experience" she flashed him another smile "Don't ever play poker with me, you won't stand a chance"

Before they realised it the sky was lightening as the sun began to rise and Daryl rose, somewhat unsteadily to his feet.

"Best go, got a run with Aaron today" he mumbled "need to go get some coffee or something"

He hesitated halfway down the steps, glancing at her over his shoulder.

"Thanks for the drink" he said awkwardly "And Deanna aint gonna chuck you and the others out. Coop and Marcie are too useful here and that Ethan creeps too pretty, none of the single chicks will let him go. She'll just have to get over it"

Jasmine gave him a nod.

"Thank you for that. Go try and get some sleep and if you do decide you need to talk about anything come find me. No pressure, only if you want to"

With a final glance at her Daryl headed back to the house he shared with the Grimes family, Michonne and Carol. He crawled into his bed and actually managed to get a couple of hours undisturbed sleep.