Author's Note: A friend of mine dared me to cross over Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Bibleman, so I did. I hope you get a laugh or at least a socially unacceptable snicker over it.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac is property of Jhonen C. Vasquez, and I think Bibleman is property of the Trinity Broadcasting Network, although I'm not sure. No infringement is meant on either and I am not profiting from this. This is merely a piece of fiction within fiction not meant to do anything other than theorize on what would happen if these two universes coincided.
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Johnny hadn't wanted this crap to happen.
All he wanted was to kill that really annoying guy who always called him Satan spawn on the streets. That was all; such a simple dream, why would anyone ruin it?
The fact that some moron in purple and yellow had swooped down to do so hadn't even bothered him, really, as the annoying guy was already dead by that time. His blood was on Johnny's clothes, but that didn't bother him, either, it was such an amazingly good day and none of it was on his skin. Nope, no germs today! Wow, today didn't suck for once, maybe the universe was collapsing… Oh well. So many ignorant people who deserved to die had died! What more could he want, other than perhaps a Brain Freezy?
Then some man dressed up as a superhero had to intervene, classic sidekicks in tow.
"You killed him!" one of them accused.
"So I did," Johnny observed, kicking the lifeless body. A small amount of blood hit his cheek. "But there's already an overload of assholes like him. I'm sure there's someone to take his place."
"Yes, that would be me, you Satanist!"
"Agnostic."
"Pardon?" the purple clad superhero asked, blinking.
"I'm not Satanic. I'm Agnostic." Johnny wiped the blood off his face with a tissue, twitching slightly at the thought of humanity's filth touching him.
"Christianity is the way of the lord."
Johnny shrugged in response. "If there is a 'lord'."
"Has the disco dancing Shadow of Doubt taken hold of your life? No matter!" Bibleman raised his lightsaber. "I shall kill you."
"So the Ten Commandments are optional now? Spineless moralist."
"SHUT UP, IT'S TIME FOR AN ACTION SEQUENCE!" Bibleman said, and then he began to quote the Bible, thus contradicting himself like he always does ten minutes into the show. Usually everything would come to a total stop for this. Usually all the villains would be about as competent as a drunken Mr. Samsa and sit there as Bibleman left himself wide open to attack.
Johnny, on the other hand, rammed a mailbox through Bibleman's torso, shoving his spine out of his body.
"That was boring," Johnny sighed as the purple and yellow super hero twitched and curled into a fetal position. "I'm gonna go get a Brain Freezy." He looked over at the two sidekicks. "You guys want one?"
"…N-no, we're good," the white girl spoke because Bibleman's black sidekick is only allowed to speak when he is praising Bibleman.
"Alright then. Have a nice day," Johnny strolled off. "Shit, what flavor Brain Freezy did I want, again? I guess I'll settle for cherry…"
