~Dream You Wide Awake~
By: Aerys Krystie
Theme: Complete AU.
Plot: Jackson Whitmore will do almost anything to get into Harvard. This includes doing charity work, while squeezing in extra credit papers, usual homework, lacrosse and tutoring those that need it. Jackson and his parents want him to be nothing short of perfect, which leads Jackson to find a stress relief when working out just doesn't cut it anymore.
His dreams are his only escape when they don't turn into nightmares. There is always one person that is there for him, no matter what. Jackson would give anything to have that man be real.
Warnings: Slash, self-cutting, language, violence and major OOC.
Disclaimer: Everything of and referring to Teen Wolf is not mine. This is a non-profit, fan-made story. Please support the official release.
Author's Note: Not much of the series plot will be mentioned during this.
oOo
The days were getting longer. The pressure was growing steadily over the last year and a half, since the choice of Harvard came about. Knowing that he needed perfect grades, gratuitous amounts of extra credit and to be the best lacrosse player was almost too much for Jackson Whitmore to handle. Then there was the fact that charity work would look good on his application and helping those that needed it, too was pushing it a little much.
Becoming more jaded each day, Jackson found that he was falling out of contact with his friends. He only saw them during school hours. As much as he wanted to catch up with them in a social setting, it was impossible with his schedule. He had no idea how his best friend managed to do everything while keeping a smile on his face. Danny was a remarkable person and Jackson admired him.
Hanging back at the whistle blew to end lacrosse practice, Jackson looked at the emptying field. He had given his all in practice, but he knew he had to do better – be better. Danny paused and called out to him, but Jackson waved him on. He needed to get in a little more run time before he could shower and then call it a day. Unfortunately, that meant he had to go home and do his homework and get started on his extra credit for calculus and chemistry.
As he ran from goal to goal, attempting to improve his speed, Jackson thought about the homework he did have. History was easy as they were revisiting the French Revolution. The teacher only wanted a ten page essay on that. His regular chemistry homework could be done in minutes, since the teacher didn't feel the need to pressure his students unless they asked for it, most times. Trigonometry challenged him in ways that he loved.
He came to a sudden stop and removed his helmet. He looked around the empty field, trying to figure out what got his attention. With a shake of his head and a feeling that he was going insane, Jackson jogged over to the bench and grabbed his water bottle. He rinsed his mouth and spat out the water, freezing when he heard what sounded like a wolf howling. Again, he looked around the field, but knew that wolves could be heard from miles away.
Turning his back to the field, Jackson removed his gloves and grabbed his stick and water bottle. He took one step when he heard something growl and pounce on his back. The wind knocked from him and his vision blurry from the sudden attack, Jackson could only make out that a human was running from him. Closing his eyes for a moment, hoping that would get them working again, he opened them and saw no one around.
Mentally scolding himself about forgetting that the weirdoes come out night, Jackson got to his feet and collected his gear. He went into the locker room, shoving his gear into his locker before he stripped down and grabbed a towel. He loved being the last one in there, as it meant that he wouldn't get strange looks for the strange marks on his body. He detested having to explain himself to anyone that thought they had a right to know about him.
After showering, Jackson sat on the bench in front of his locker. He sighed and rested his hands on the nape of his neck. He frowned and pulled his hands back, eyes widening at the blood on his fingers. He opened his locker and pulled out the small mirror, trying to see what happened to his neck. He was almost certain that no one had cut him during practice. The crazy that barreled into him when he was getting ready to head in might have had a knife and cut him.
When he finally got the view he needed, Jackson groaned. It wasn't a knife. The edges were jagged, which meant it would leave a horrible scar. He had no idea what could make a gash like that, but he wasn't going to think about it too much. He grabbed his kit and applied gauze to the wound, speedily securing it with tape.
He threw the kit into the back of his locker and dressed quickly, slamming the door and leaving the locker room. He got to his car and paused, checking his books. Figuring he had them all, he threw the bag into the car and sat in the seat for a moment, thinking back to when he was knocked down. Surely, whoever was running from what would've seen him and been able to avoid him? If not, they could have called out a warning and let him dive out of the way.
Shaking his head, Jackson started the car. He didn't have time to think about strange people that ran through an almost empty lacrosse field. He needed to get as much homework done, as he had a morning practice before he headed to the soup kitchen with Danny. He had three people to tutor in the afternoon, as well. He sighed and tilted his head back, closing his eyes as the pressure on the scratch gave him some relief for a moment.
If he ever found that stranger, he should probably thank whoever they were. It felt good to not be responsible for blood loss this time. He touched the patch and figured he should change that over when he got home. He really didn't need any blood stains on his clothes, lest his parents think he had a problem.
He rested his head against the steering wheel and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to think of something happy and fun. Going to the movies with his friends would be something nice to do, if only he didn't have a truckload of homework. It was going to be that year where he finally cracked and slit his wrists from the pressure he was under.
As he drove away, Jackson was blissfully unaware of the blue eyes that watched him with predatory curiosity.
oOo
Jackson looked around. He had no idea where he was, but he knew he was standing in someone's foyer. There was a stair case directly in front of him. He could hear people talking and laughing to his right. He headed in that direction and walked in on a party. No one took any notice of him and he couldn't help but stare at them.
Every person dressed up like it was some kind of ball. Jackson looked at his own outfit and frowned at the suit he wore. It was appropriate for the Venetian ball theme that was happening around him. He turned to a window and saw that he had a mask on. It reminded him of a white wolf, which was strange as he was the only one wearing one like that.
Turning his eyes back to the crowd, Jackson tried to find someone he recognized. He politely pushed his way past people. His eyes connected with another that wore a black wolf mask. The eyes glowed blue until Jackson blinked and they became hazel green. Someone walked past the black wolf and he disappeared. Jackson frowned and made his way over there. He tried not to sigh as he turned in a circle and finally saw the other on the opposite side of the room.
He was stopped by someone offering him a drink. Jackson declined and looked to the area where the black wolf was standing. Disappointment was evident on his face as the other was missing, again. He studied the masks that surrounded him, pushing past them. He spun around when he heard someone whisper in his ear, frowning when he saw people talking and no one even looking in his direction.
Jackson inhaled sharply when he felt a hot tongue on his neck. Slapping his hand over the area, he turned around. Again, people were talking and not paying him any attention. He pulled his hand back and stared at the blood. He tensed when arms slid around his shoulders. A hand held his jaw, stopping him from glancing back to see who it was. He knew it was the black wolf.
The tongue struck out and licked the wound again. Before he could stop it, a small moan escaped his mouth. The music and talking stopped immediately. All eyes turned to him and Jackson could feel a blush staining his cheeks. He wanted to run from the room, feeling he was the one responsible for destroying their good time, but the arms held him in place. The tongue never stopped. He wanted to apologize to them, but his voice was failing him.
The clock struck midnight and the people cheered, removing their masks. Jackson exclaimed as he saw their burned faces. The arms disappeared and Jackson took a step back, wanting that warm and secure feeling back. He was alone as the burn victims approached him. A name flew through his mind and Jackson could feel tears in his eyes. Not from fear, but because he could feel their pain. He felt as though he was caught in a fire and his skin was melting as he fought to get oxygen into his lungs.
oOo
Jackson woke up, gasping and choking. He settled down and looked around. Relief settled on him when he recognized his room and he turned his head towards his alarm clock. It was only a few minutes before he was due to get up. He turned it off and dressed for his morning run. He went outside and quickly stretched on his drive way. He set out on his usual route.
With the dream fresh in his mind, Jackson deviated from his course and entered the woods. He had no idea where he was going, but it felt right to be running there. His heart quickened, which he found strange. He hadn't been running that long and he knew he wasn't unfit. His mind told him that he was getting close to his destination and Jackson frowned.
His eyes were drawn to a black car that was parked. Jackson slowed to a walk and cautiously approached the vehicle. He glanced around, deciding that he was alone and he tentatively placed his fingertips on the hood and dragged them as he walked around. He heard a wolf howl again and jogged in that direction, which was a stupid decision. If it was a wolf, what was he going to do? He highly doubted that he could outrun a wild animal.
Before he could get close enough to see the animal, his watched beeped at him, letting him know that he had to head back so he could eat and get to practice on time. He hesitated, but sighed and started the run back home. Once again, he was blissfully unaware of the eyes that watched him.
He ran into his house and straight to the kitchen. He grabbed the glass of orange juice his mother always had waiting for him. Once he finished it, he grinned at his mother and father. He grabbed a slice of toast and ran upstairs to pack for practice, the soup kitchen and to change the bandage on his neck. He finished his toast as he walked into his bathroom. With practiced ease, he removed the old gauze and placed a fresh piece in its stead. He taped it down, left the bathroom and grabbed his duffle bag as he left the bedroom.
Going back to the kitchen, Jackson grabbed another slice of toast and kissed his mother on the cheek, saying that he would have three people over in the afternoon. His parents looked proud of him and Jackson grinned at them. He ran from the kitchen, grabbing his car keys and slamming the door behind him. He had just closed the trunk when he heard pounding feet and he looked to left. He cocked an eyebrow as he saw a shirtless man running up the street.
He must be new, Jackson decided. He was certain he would have noticed someone like that before, especially since there were few that ran in jeans and boots. Although, the jeans clung to the man's legs nicely, jeans weren't really appropriate running gear. Still, each to their own. Jackson was enjoying the view of the man's legs more than he cared to admit, which made him shake he head.
Besides, no one wanted to be ogled by some teenage that had a piece of toast hanging from their mouth. Jackson got in the car and headed for school, finishing his toast. He ran into the locker room, shouting a greeting to everyone. He sat beside Danny as he pulled out his gear and dressed. He glanced at his friend, who was staring at his neck. Jackson shrugged and told him not to worry about it. Danny didn't seem appeased, though.
"You didn't have that yesterday. What happened?"
Jackson shrugged again. "Some psycho got me on the field last night." He saw the concern enter Danny's overly expressive eyes. "Don't worry. I disinfected it when I got home and it hasn't given me any trouble."
"Can I?" Danny nodded towards the gauze, wanting to give his own opinion.
"Would it stop you if I said no?" Jackson teased and pulled back the gauze.
"You know it wouldn't." Danny stood and looked at the wound. "It's a little red around the edges and it looks like an animal scratch. Are you sure it was a human that attacked you?"
Jackson shrugged and nodded. "That's what I saw running away," he answered, hoping to appease Danny's internal doctor.
Danny sighed and replaced the gauze. "If a human has nails like that, they clearly aren't in their right state of mind. I seriously suggest you get it checked out by a doctor and get treated for rabies," he said and slapped Jackson on the shoulder.
Jackson frowned. He hadn't even thought about rabies. "I'll get it checked on Mon…Tue… I'll get it checked on Thursday. I think I have a free afternoon." He looked up and smiled at Danny.
"…Okay," Danny finally said. "I don't think Coach would mind if you skipped practice for a doctor appointment, man."
"I'm not doing anything to ruin my chances with Harvard. If I get rabies, I get rabies. As long as I get accepted." Jackson tied off his shoes and pulled on his gloves. "Come on. I wanna start early, since I didn't get my usual run in this morning."
Practice went well and Jackson hung back as the others ran off to the locker room. He removed his helmet, leaving his stick and gloves on the bench and sat in the middle of the field. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. His mother often suggested meditation for his stress and it helped sometimes. It didn't do much, except give him some quiet time to think about his problems and the best way to move them around.
He listened to the wind and ignored the chill in it. He concentrated on his heartbeat. He was due at the soup kitchen in forty-three minutes, which gave him ten minutes to meditate, ten minutes to shower and twenty minutes to get there. He had thirty-nine minutes to get from the soup kitchen to home in time for his first student, which meant that his mother would be baking. She loved making sure that Jackson and everyone he was tutoring had snacks.
Tomorrow he had the morning free to take his time with his morning run. He made sure to stay out of the woods, as he really didn't want to know what was lurking in there. He had the lunch and dinner service at the soup kitchen. He frowned when thought about the next day. He had two tutoring sessions in the morning, since he would be spending most of the day at the kitchen. He couldn't take his time with his morning run.
"Jackson!"
With a jolt, Jackson opened his eyes and saw Danny waving him over. Figuring his ten minutes were up, Jackson stood and jogged over to the bench. He grabbed his gear and ran to the locker room. He showered quickly, replaced the gauze and dressed. He left the locker room with Danny, uniforms and lacrosse gear with him. It all needed to be cleaned that night after he had done most of his homework. He stumbled slightly, thinking about his calculus work. He didn't even start it last night and it needed to be handed in on Monday.
"You okay, man?" Again, the concern entered Danny's eyes. Jackson hated seeing that expression on his friend's face.
With a grin, Jackson punched Danny on the arm. "Yeah, fine," he said as he popped his trunk. He threw his bag in and tenderly placed in his stick. He unlocked the car, sliding into the seat. He beckoned Danny to join him. "Is it true about Joe?" he asked as he started the car and pulled out.
"Yeah, he was arrested for drunk and disorderly and urinating in a public place." Danny sighed sadly. "They say he'll probably only get six months, unless they decide to throw the book at him. It's his first arrest in years, though."
Jackson nodded slowly. "Mm. I hope they go easy on him, too. Still, in prison, he gets three meals a day and a bed to sleep in at night."
Danny stared at Jackson and reached over to softly touch his cheek. "You're so lifelike!"
Jackson laughed and jerked his head away from Danny's hand. "Give me a break, will ya? I'm still human," he defended, thinking back to how he was two years ago. God, he was a total asshole that cared about no one with the bare exception of himself.
"Hey, I don't care where the old Jackson went. I'm liking this one a lot better," he said and remained silent for a while.
"I think everyone is," he muttered and settled back in the seat. He pulled into the church parking lot and turned off the car. They sat there for a moment and Jackson closed his eyes, just enjoying the comfortable silence. "Why do you like this me better?"
"You're a lot more confident, believe it or not. You don't need to be a douche to be secure. I don't know what's happened in the last year and a half, but you've changed for the better," Danny answered as they got out the car. He walked to Jackson. "For instance, if I did this two years ago…" He leaned in and placed a purposely extra wet kiss on Jackson's cheek. "…you would have killed me on the spot."
Jackson laughed through a groan and wiped his cheek. He playfully pushed Danny back. "Did it have to be so wet?" he demanded as they crossed the street to the kitchen.
"Yes, yes it did." Danny smirked. "It was either a wet kiss or a lick. I figured a kiss was less weird."
Jackson shook his head, unable to keep the grin off his face. "You're fucking insane, Danny." He wrapped an arm around Danny's neck, pulling it down and ruffling his hair. "Don't ever change."
Allowing Danny to enter first, Jackson rolled his shoulders and looked around. He could have sworn he felt someone glaring at him. Deciding that Danny's insanity was rubbing off on him, Jackson entered and headed straight to the back. He tied an apron around his hips and got the rolls out of the oven when the timer buzzed.
One of the pots of soup boiled and Jackson looked around. He was the only one in the kitchen. He called out to Danny, as he turned down the heat on the pot and placed the tray on the counter. He stirred the soup quickly before he grabbed out the other tray of rolls. With a shake of his head, Jackson measured out the dough that was waiting to be baked and slapped it on the trays when he removed the cooked rolls.
Twenty minutes later, as he was pulling out the second batch of rolls, Danny finally joined him in the kitchen. "Sorry. Father O'Malley was introducing me to the new guy that starts next week or tomorrow, whichever. I know you aren't gay, but once you see him you will be."
Jackson closed his eyes and shook his head. "Shut up and butter the rolls."
"I'd sell my soul to have him butter my roll."
Jackson dropped the ladle and stared at Danny. His friend glanced back at him and grinned wickedly. Jackson wasn't sure what to do, so he picked up the ladle and washed it. He sometimes wondered why he was friends with Danny and remembered that Danny was the only one that dealt with his shit. He stared at Danny, smiling idiotically until his friend looked back, quirking an eyebrow in question. He shook his head, telling his friend not to worry.
He took the bowls through and Danny brought the trays through when he was done with the rolls. The pair of them carried a pot of soup through, not wanting to spill any. Father O'Malley joined them and took his place at the beverage station. There was a knock at the doors and Danny ran to answer it. He eagerly beckoned in everyone, just as Jackson brought through the cutlery.
The line was out the door in moments, shuffling along as the people got their soup, fruit and drink of choice before finding somewhere to sit down. Jackson was handing out the fruit and rolls, making small talk with their patrons. When one man came up to Jackson, asking for an orange, Jackson instantly asked him how he was.
"Fine, thank you, Jackson," he said quietly, almost like a growl.
Jackson blinked and looked at him. He was dirty with a scruffy beard and a beanie that covered all of his hair. His eyes were alert and beautiful, though. More green than hazel at the moment and Jackson knew he had seen them somewhere. He blinked and directed the man towards Father O'Malley and moved onto the next one. Jackson was certain that no one had said his name when he asked the same question. The children referred to him as 'Jack.'
Pushing it to the back of his mind, Jackson continued. Once everyone had their food, he walked between the tables, pausing to talk to some of the people. He spoke to Joe's friend, Steve about how he was doing without his friend around. Steve mentioned the loneliness of not having anyone around and Jackson nodded. He squeezed Steve's shoulder and walked on. His eyes widened when a child launched at him.
Laughing, Jackson lifted the little girl up and spun around a few times. He lowered her and placed her on his hip. He spoke to her mother, Michelle. She seemed to be doing better with her situation. She and her children spent a lot of time at a refuge, since she managed to get the courage to leave her abusive husband. Once a week, she showed up here so she could keep Jackson informed on what was happening with her and her daughter.
Jackson excused himself a moment when someone tugged on his sleeve. He turned to the man that was questioning the soup, saying that he was allergic to carrots. Jackson beckoned over Father O'Malley, since he was the one that made the soup. As he straightened, Jackson's eyes locked onto the stranger that knew his name. The man was staring at him intently and almost possessively. Jackson rolled his shoulders and turned back to Michelle. He placed Lily beside her mother and told her to finish her soup.
As he walked up the next table, Jackson saw another child getting ready to jump on his back. The boy did so the moment Jackson passed him. Jackson 'fell' to the ground with a comical 'oof.' Michael noticed the gauze and asked about it. Jackson told him not to worry about it and moved to his knees, placing Michael on his shoulders as he walked along.
Along the next row, Jackson paused to talk to an elderly veteran. He did squats as he talked about his studies to keep Michael entertained, since school talk bored the child. The old man asked Jackson what he wanted to study at Harvard and that made Jackson pause a moment. He decided that quantum physics was a decent answer and it was the first one that came to mind. He was almost certain he didn't have the intelligence for something like that.
His watch beeped and Father O'Malley shouted the last call for drinks. Danny started clearing away trays, taking them through to the kitchen. Wanting to stay away from the stranger that knew his name, Jackson went to the kitchen and filled the industrial sized sink. He removed his watch and got to work on washing up
With the last load done and the sink draining, Jackson removed his apron and ran from the building. He got to his car, frowning at the piece of paper under his wiper. He wasn't parked illegally, so it was likely a flyer. He unlocked the car and got in, placing the paper on the passenger seat. He sped out of the parking lot, mentally apologizing to any deity that was listening.
Getting home, he checked his calendar. Jason needed help in algebra. He was a year younger than Jackson, but the poor kid couldn't wrap his mind around the problems. Jackson had the same problem, until he figured out the easiest way to do it – fluke the answers. He managed to get near perfect scores on his tests that way. Of course, he couldn't really teach that to a sophomore. That was bad teaching practice right there. He would just suggest it, instead.
He jogged down stairs and into the kitchen. He grabbed two glasses and filled them apple juice, just as his mother entered. "Have you thought about taking up karate again?" she asked and Jackson froze, staring at her like she had grown a second head.
He hadn't done karate since he was a kid, when he got to yellow belt and didn't bother to show up again. "When am I gonna have time for that, mom?"
She placed Jackson's schedule down on the counter. "The lessons are an hour, unless you want to stay longer. You have a spare hour on Mondays and Tuesdays and Thursdays are free." She looked up and smiled. "Having more than one physical activity would look good on your application. And I've already signed you up."
Jackson nodded, defeated and hoping that karate would look good on his application. He went upstairs as the doorbell rang. His mother called out that she would get it. She made small talk with Jason, before sending him up to Jackson's room. Jackson stood by his bed and pointed to his cleaned desk, telling Jason to sit.
oOo
After dinner, Jackson went for his nightly run. He pushed himself harder than he probably should have, but he was tired of having more and more crap dumped on him. Surely, everything he was doing would be enough for Harvard to take notice of him. Even if they didn't accept him – which wasn't any option – it would be enough for them to consider him.
That spare hour he had was used to do homework. He would need to stay up an hour later if he wanted to keep up his good grades, thanks to karate. His mother would be pissed if he skipped any lessons, as she would have paid in advance for the next two years until he was off at college. Jackson sighed and ran up the slight hill, shaking his head. Maybe his parents wanted to kill him with an overdose of stress. That was likely to happen if they didn't back down soon.
He came to a clearing and skidded to a halt when he nearly ran into the black car from earlier. He slipped on the fallen leaves and fell flat on his back. He panted as he stared at the stars in the sky. He went to glance at his watch to see what time it was and frowned at his bare wrist. How had he not noticed that earlier? He sighed and sat up, brushing off his back. He glanced at the car again, before his eyes were drawn to the building he failed to notice.
Approaching it, Jackson noticed it was a house. It was the house that set on fire six years. He stopped at the front steps, staring at the front door. He reached out to place a hand on the banister and recoiled. Sorrow swept through his body, along with rage and loneliness. He stepped back, staring at the door. He shook his head and turned, continuing with his run. He didn't have the luxury to think about what could be in there.
As he made his way out of the woods, something moving from his peripheral caught his attention. He slowed and stopped, not wanting to fall over again. He squinted into the darkness, positive he had seen someone running as well. He could think of no reason why they would hide, so he called out. All that greeted him was the chirping of crickets and the buzzing of other insects.
A twig snapped behind him and he turned around. He frowned when he saw two spots of blue. He walked towards them. "Is someone there?" he called.
Jackson froze and thought about who he was approaching. It could be a murderer on the run and he was willingly walking towards them? Again, he found himself blaming Danny's insanity. The blue eyes blinked and disappeared. Without any source of light, Jackson shrugged and continued on his way home. He got inside and jogged through to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of room temperature water and making his way to his bedroom.
He downed half the bottle and placed it on his desk, stripping out of his clothes and wandering into the bathroom. He showered and walked out in a towel. He went to the front window to open it and let in some fresh air, but froze. From the street light, he saw someone standing in his driveway. He opened the window and leaned out.
"Hey, you okay, man?" he yelled down. The man tilted his head up and Jackson tried to see what he looked like. His face was hidden in shadow. Without saying anything, the man turned and ran up the street faster than Jackson had seen anyone move.
Hoping that a murderer hadn't followed him, Jackson left the window open and turned on his desk lamp. He got to work on finishing his homework for the night, leaving him with little to do the next night, pushing the strangers to the back of his mind.
End Chapter I.
I'm having a lot of fun with this story. I probably shouldn't be, but I am.
Sorry about any mistakes. I went through it when it was complete and again when it was uploaded. There will still be mistakes and I'm sorry about that. I might need one of those beta things. Oh well.
R/A/F please!
Until the next chapter!
Auska.
