Luke Snyder and Kevin Davis were sitting across from each other on the porch of the Snyder farm. Luke was looking at Kevin, anticipation in his face. Kevin was not looking at Luke.
"What did you want to tell me, Kevin?" Luke asked.
"I don't really know how to say this," Kevin said, still looking at the ground. "Why should this be so hard?" Kevin said, more to himself than Luke.
Luke continued staring at Kevin, but it was no longer with anticipation. Now he looked at Kevin with curiosity and suspicion. Luke remembered a time when he had spoken those words to Kevin and his mind now began to race.
"You can tell me what ever it is, Kevin. I am still your friend," Luke said, though that was not entirely true. Too much had passed between them over the years.
Kevin looked directly at Luke and took a deep breath.
"I've been lying. I've been lying to myself, to everyone around me. But I was also lying to you. What I said to you when you told me everything back when we were seniors up at Echo Lake was a lie. I just didn't want to admit that it was a lie. But I realize it now." Luke could not look away from Kevin. Everything that Kevin was saying was mesmerizing.
"I was an idiot not to see it back then. But I see it now. I…I…I love you, Luke. I always have but when you told me the truth I was afraid and I ran as far away from you as I could. And I insulted you and made your life hell because I was scared and I didn't know what else to do." Kevin had spoken very rapidly and was slightly out of breath. Luke remained very still. Both his mind and heart were racing. Why couldn't Kevin have told him this all those years ago?
Is there anything that can make you happy?
I don't know what to say to make it better
Seeing you like this down and hurt so badly when you have been so kept together
What's this?
All this time I thought you didn't need me
Now I've gone from you and now you tell me
"Kevin, I don't know what to say except, why now? Why tell me this now? I've picked up the pieces of my heart and I'm happy with Noah. You know that and you tell me this now? Why?" Luke said. "All those times we used to hang out, watching movies, playing basketball, you were in love with me then? And you tell me now?"
You're in love but that was not what it was
All those times that passed by
With no signs and now you're telling me
You miss me boy I could not see and my heart don't
Agree with what you're telling me
Kevin looked at Luke. When Kevin did not speak Luke said, "After Echo Lake you never wanted me anywhere near you. Instead of letting me in you pushed me away because you were in love with me? You never showed any signs, Kevin," Luke was almost hysterical.
"That's not true," Kevin said. "We were always fooling around."
"You mean you pinning me against the wall and asking for a back rub? Were those signs that you were in love with me? Because I certainly didn't understand them. And that was before I told you I was in love with you. As soon I came clean you wanted nothing to do with me. And now you tell me it was because you were in love with me?" Luke had stood up.
You were nonchalant, strong, and unaffected and you never wanted me to be there
I never saw your heart that's how close you kept it
So right now I'm so unsure how to care
What's this?
All this time I thought you didn't need me
Now I've gone from you and now you tell me
You're in love but that was not what it was
All those times that passed by
With no signs and now you're telling me
You miss me boy I could not see and my heart don't
Agree with what you're telling me
"After Echo Lake you knew how I felt and you paid no attention to me at all unless you were bashing me with your friends. You did nothing to heal my broken heart. And then during the election at Oakdale University you bash me and make out to be a fool because you were in love with me? Was that because I was with Noah and you were lashing out because you regretted never telling me the truth? So you wanted to hurt me?
"Do you have any idea how often I went to school hoping that you would come up to me and tell me you felt the same way? But you never did. You never gave me a second look. I don't know that if you had told me all of this back in high school and something had happened between us that it would have worked out. But you never gave it a chance because you were scared? I poured my heart out to you but you couldn't return the favor until ten years later? Why?" Luke asked, breathing heavily as though he just run a mile. He loved Noah more than anything in the world but having this knowledge that Kevin had been in love with him all these years drove a knife through his heart and re-opened all the old wounds of betrayal that Noah had healed.
No attention was given
No affection from you to heal the hurt
I was hoping
I was wishing just to listen and to hear those words.
"I don't have answers to your questions, Luke. I can only say that I am really sorry for what I put you through. I was hoping we could work through this," Kevin said, reaching out to Luke.
Luke backed away.
"You hoped that we could work through this? And what? Relive the last ten years as if you had told me this at Echo Lake? I'm sorry, Kevin, but I love Noah with all my heart. I needed to hear all these words years ago. But, now, my heart just doesn't agree with them anymore. It's too late. I'm over you." Luke walked out the door leaving Kevin standing there in silence.
You're in love but that was not what it was
All those times that passed by
With no signs and now you're telling me
You miss me boy I could not see and my heart don't
Agree with what you're telling me
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