I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.


Halcyon Days

Chapter One: Time Of Your Life

~O~

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learnt in time
Time Of Your Life - Greenday

~O~

The intense sunlight persistently trying to prise open his eyelids was a sure sign that he had slept in. In fact, he was probably late for... something. Too many things to keep track of, too little mind capacity. Jiraiya would kick his ass till he was sorry, he'd bet. The old pervert could be frighteningly severe when the occasion called for it – which it did.

Too bad. Jiraiya should know by now that his apprentice was not a morning person. Naruto rolled over onto his side, turning away from the sunlight, fashioning a pillow out of his arms. He didn't feel like opening his eyes just yet. It had been a while since he had been able to sleep in like this. It was a nice change.

Judging from the amount of noise and the commotion that reached his ears, the village was awake and running, as it always was at early hours these days. The village hardly slept anymore, not since it had been thrown in a state of constant chaos.

His bed felt curiously… pricklier than usual. Grumbling, Naruto reached over his shoulder for his blanket – and groped thin air. He felt around a bit more. It had probably slipped off the bed again. He must have been sleeping very deeply. With all the tension that had been straining his body, it was definitely what he would have prescribed himself if he was a medic-nin. Nothing beat a good night's sleep and a bowl of hot ramen for breakfast. At least Ichiraku's was one of the few businesses still open.

His pleasurable reverie was disrupted as something started poking his backside. Naruto swatted blindly at the disturbance. "Five more minutes," he groaned. The poking stopped, and the blonde sighed in relief. They must have heard him.

But now there was something wet rubbing against his face. And licking it.

"Argh! What the hell?" Naruto floundered for a moment before he sat up and scrubbed at his face, nose wrinkled.

He could hear a voice calling nearby, gradually rising in volume. "Sarge? Where'd you... hey, come on, boy, leave him alone. He's been here for days... let's go, Sarge. We're going to be late."

It almost sounded like Kiba talking to Akamaru, Naruto mused to himself. Almost. He opened his eyes to see a black hound bounding back to its owner. The young man looked impatient. Squinting against the glare of the sun, Naruto saw that there were other morning-dwellers wandering about. He hadn't seen the park so lively since-

Wait.

Konoha's main park, along with most of the hospital, had been ravaged by the Akatsuki's latest invasion attempt. No one had the heart or resources to rebuild it – and even if they did, it was impossible that they could have managed it in one night.

The minor details started to jump out at Naruto as he surveyed his surroundings under a new light. It was too loud, too crowded, and none of the faces he could see were familiar.

More importantly, the people were smiling, content with life. They couldn't possibly be happy during a war period of dire consequences.

Everything clambered into Naruto's mind at once, making no sense at all – but for one realisation.

This was not home.

Naruto shakily got to his feet. His limbs felt... detached, as if he hadn't used them for a long time. Jelly-legs, Old Man Hokage used to call them. He missed that old geezer.

One glance told him that he was not in Konoha. There were just too many differences between the Leaf Village and this place. Trying to pinpoint each and every one of them was making his head spin. The disparity spread beyond terrain and the inhabitants – it didn't feel like Konoha. It did not feel like anything he had come across before.

Any genius could have figured out that something must have happened. Naruto's blood chilled as he considered the possibility that he had been captured by the enemy. It didn't seem like it, with such freedom and no sign of an assault so far, but he reminded himself that it was not beyond Pain to play mind tricks. On that thought, he brought his hands together in a seal and murmured, "Kai!"

Naruto had an abnormally large chakra capacity thanks to his demon tenant. The number of times that he used up all his chakra had grudgingly risen since the war had reared its ugly head but it still was not commonplace for him to feel drained.

It was this habitual confidence that caused his heart to pound that much faster. His eyes widened in disbelief. His chakra had barely responded; his reserves felt depleted and suppressed. His second attempt met no avail. Nor did the third. It made him uneasy to be without chakra.

With the shade of the tree sheltering him from the streaks of sunlight that peeked through the awning of leaves, hardly anyone seemed to notice him. From his vantage point, Naruto could observe. Adrenaline and unease was quickly clustering his nerves even as he instructed himself to calm down and regulate his breathing. Freaking out was going to help no one.

The people looked ordinary enough. Most of them appeared to be on leisurely walks. They acted a little… differently to what Naruto was accustomed to. For starters, they didn't seem to know each other; in Konoha, your neighbour was your friend, and your neighbour's aunt on the other side of the village was your mother's best friend. Everyone in the village knew each other.

It was the road that caught Naruto's attention. Kami, the road.

There were some hulking... things stationary by the side of the road. Most of them were easily larger than Akamaru had been, equipped with what looked like wheels and panes of glass that took Naruto several seconds to realise were windows. Another, of generally the same structure but a different colour and shape, rolled down the road. If Naruto hadn't caught a glimpse of a person sitting inside, he would have thought the thing was moving by itself.

Yet another of the strange machines passed by, this one different again. Followed by another. And another. He watched them travel by, mouth hanging slightly open. He didn't look away until a shrill parp tore through his stupor, making him wince. It had come from one of the weird contraptions. The road was choked with them.

Yeah, he was pretty sure by now that he had taken a wrong turn.

Naruto found himself on the footpath, though he couldn't remember when he had stepped off the patch of grass he had woken on. Exposing himself instantly roused attention. Heads turned to stare, several faces bearing disapproving frowns. It was almost like his childhood again. With a tailed demon sealed within him, Naruto hadn't been the most popular child in the village.

A swell of familiarity blossomed in his chest. Naruto never thought he would see the day when he would be elated at being despised. If they knew him as a demon container, he couldn't be far from Konoha, right?

Then an elderly man walked up to him. "No performance, hmm? Ah, no matter. Here, boy." Before Naruto could understand what he was doing, the man tipped a couple of coins in his hand.

The blonde blinked in confusion, simply staring at the coins. "Hey, gramps, wait a minute!" he called after the old man. He had to jog a little to catch up with him. "What are these for? They're not mine." The copper pieces clinked together as he held them out for the man to take back.

His words seemed to surprise the man. "Well, aren't you a strange one?" he chuckled. "I've never seen a drifter refusing money before."

A drifter? That was what Jiraiya called the homeless people huddled on the streets. "I'm not a beggar," Naruto said. If he wasn't in such a situation he would have laughed. What had given the guy the impression that he was a beggar?

"No?" The man shook his head. "Come on, lad, there's no need to be modest. There's a charity store someplace around here, I think. They'll fix you up with some new clothes if you go there."

Clothes? Naruto looked down at his attire. "I don't need-" His voice broke off as his mind struggled to make sense of the rags hanging from his body. His trousers had been torn away from below the knee and when he raised his arm he saw that his shirt was barely holding together. It was like he had come out the short end of a horrific fight. No wonder they were staring.

Well. Shit.

The old man had already left. Naruto approached a man in a dark suit walking his way. "Hey, do you know where Kono…" He didn't even get to finish his question. The man shook his head dismissively and walked past with barely a glance. Like others Naruto had seen, he was holding a radio-thing to his ear.

Frowning, Naruto tried to stop another person. He tried three; the first was a kid, maybe a couple of years younger than him, who was no help at all; the second ignored him; the third cocked an eyebrow and asked him if he was off his rocker.

In any other situation Naruto wouldn't have minded the lack of response. He was used to people being rude and ignorant, especially toward him. But he felt like he was being driven to a corner with his survival rate dropping with each failure. It was making him edgy. This couldn't possibly be the Leaf Village. He had no idea where he was and no recollection of how he had gotten there in the first place.

And he was starting to draw attention. A loosely assembled crowd began to gather around him. They obviously didn't come across people like him very often. They were stopping, their gazes lingering. Some were muttering but when Naruto spun around they met him with uniform stares.

It was driving him mad.

"Pain, you bastard," Naruto hissed under his breath. No one else but Orochimaru would try something like this, and the slimy freak was dead. Genjutsu – it had to be. His chakra had been sealed so he would be unable to unravel it. It was the only logical explanation.

Then he remembered. Scraps of reminiscence pieced together, and Naruto's eyes widened. Pain. Akatsuki. It was starting to come back to him.

Jiraiya had been leading a special operations squad to infiltrate Amegakure – a squad he had been part of. Naruto's memories tapered and faded from there, but he could fill in the blanks. He remembered clashing with Pain. He didn't need to know the rest to conclude that the mission had gone badly.

Questions arose faster than he was ready to face them. Had he won or lost? What about Jiraiya and the others? And more importantly; what the hell had happened?

He reeled back, breaking through the ring of spectators. They stared after him. Someone grabbed his arm to steady him. It was the man with the dog from earlier. "Hey, you okay? You look-"

Naruto lunged at him, seizing his shoulders. "Where is this place?" he asked hoarsely.

"C-Central Park." The response was useless to him. It was taking all his control not to shake the man to kingdom come. He needed a solid answer, damn it!

"Which country? This isn't Fire Country, is it?" He could hear the desperation in his own voice, the desire to know something. "Which village is this?"

The man's brow creased. "What are you on about? Are you sure..."

Naruto didn't hear any more. Two years of warfare had hardened him but with his orientation thrown off to such a degree, the odds seemed to be against him. Pain must have done something to him. The question was what. He had too many questions and no answers.

He was tempted to smash his fist into the nearest person's face to see their reaction. If they were Akatsuki they would retaliate and his doubts would instantly be cleared. Except they looked so human. There was a mother with a child in a pram not ten feet away from him. If only it was a genjutsu or henge that took form in the shape of his friends – he would have been able to see through that in an instant. There were so many if onlys. If only he knew what was going on.

Thinking from another view, if they were Akatsuki under the guise of innocents, it was wiser to let them believe that he was fooled. His chakra was unresponsive and against opponents that significantly outnumbered him, taijutsu was not the way to go. He would do himself more harm than good.

So Naruto did the only rational thing that he could see of the situation. He ran. He had no idea where he was going, but the park looked pretty extensive. There had to be a place for him to escape from the prying eyes.

Shouts followed him and he thought he heard some footfalls – but he was still faster than them. His legs felt heavy and he almost lumbered straight into another person, but even with the handicap he was much faster than them. Naruto didn't even have to look back. They were so sluggish it was almost wrong. Were they even trying? Even Ayame from Ichiraku's would be able to outrun them – hell, even her father would have fared better.

Sprinting through hedges of neatly cropped lawns and keeping well away from contact with the other humans, Naruto discovered that his earlier speculation of the park's range had been rather erroneous. He had already reached the other end and quickly backtracked as he came to the road. No way was he going near those wheeled beasts. They looked even more intimidating in close proximity.

There was no one following him; he had either left them behind or they had given up. Either way his initiative hadn't changed. If he was right and Akatsuki was behind this there was no doubt that they would catch him flat-footed in his current state.

There was a small structure tucked away to the side. Naruto had missed it at first but now he set off at a jog toward it. The sight of it was enough to placate him, if only a little. He liked being the centre of attention, but not that much. There were two entrances. Choosing the one closest to him, Naruto slipped inside with all too much gratefulness.

He stopped. "You are kidding me," he deadpanned.

Of all the possibilities, Uzumaki Naruto had stumbled across a toilet.

He traced his steps back and poked his head outside. Seeing a plastic plate bearing the distinct male insignia, he dubiously went back inside.

Better than nothing.

There were two cubicles. One of them was closed, and judging from the rustling of toilet paper, it was occupied. Naruto locked himself in the remaining one. He sat on the closed lid of the toilet, cradling his head in his hands.

It was tactical to put together what he had. Putting aside his assumption that Pain had schemed this behind his back, it was safe to assume that he was not in Konoha – or anywhere near Fire Country, at that. He hadn't seen a single forehead protector so far and the chakra presences he could sense were so vague that he wouldn't even have noticed them if he was paying any less attention. The average Leaf civilian had twice as much chakra reserves as these people.

The sound of water flushing diverted Naruto's thought direction to Pain. His mind was clearer now, and he started to question what the leader of Akatsuki could have gained by thrusting him into such a situation. Their only association was through the Kyuubi. Akatsuki's first priority would be to seal the demon, more so since it was the only tailed beast they had not yet captured. There was no point putting him through this, whatever it was.

Reluctantly, Naruto's certainty in his expected foes wavered. He always felt better when he had someone to blame.

So if it's not Pain...

Naruto's head jerked up as a heavy fist pounded on the door. His hand immediately reached for a kunai, only to find that his weapons pouch was missing. He hadn't noticed the absence until now. It did not come along as particularly surprising if he accounted the state of his clothes. Without weapons and chakra, Naruto felt bare and naked. Quite literally.

"Oi, you gonna get out of there any time soon?" a gruff voice demanded.

"What?" He lowered himself into a slight crouch, prepared to barrel into the door and knock down whoever was on the other side.

"Don't 'what' me – I want to use the damn toilet!" Naruto blinked at this. He had been cogitating so deeply on the foreign environment beyond his refuge that it had slipped his mind that the 'refuge' was in fact 'the damn toilet'.

Like hell I'm getting out of here. "Use the other one!"

"There's no toilet paper!"

Naruto reached for the dispenser to shoo off the troublesome guy, and then thought better of it. Frustration had left him in a somewhat foul mood and he had yet to hear a sincere 'please'. "Use the urinal then!" he snapped.

The man obviously didn't want to do that. Naruto responded with his own arsenal of profanities. It felt good to blow off some steam. He was almost sorry when the man grunted one last insult and shuffled out. If he hadn't been so boorish Naruto might have cooperated.

As long as he refused to vacate the cubicle, everyone had to use the urinal. From what Naruto remembered, there was only one. A few other men came seeking the first's objective but were less outspoken about it; some didn't even bother asking at all. Naruto snickered half-heartedly. It was the sort of thing he would do on purpose in his Academy days. Iruka had chased him off his extravagant ideals so many times that the blonde was sure the man could predict where his next 'masterpiece' would turn up.

Iruka-sensei... A fond memory of eating at Ichiraku's with his former Academy teacher tugged the corners of Naruto's mouth into a nostalgic smile. His eyes glistened as he reminded himself that Iruka would never lecture him, never take him out for ramen again. If only he'd known that he would be carving his precious person's name onto the Cenotaph, Naruto would have treated Iruka to ten bowls of ramen – or better, would have returned to the village in time to save him, and the others that had lost their lives during that particular raid.

There was no sense of time inside the cubicle. Naruto was not one to sit down and think. He was still far from that habit. However, with nothing better to do, he eventually found himself sinking into a meditative state. He had no inkling of where he was, how he had gotten there and absolutely no idea what to do next. He attempted to analyse the situation and think ahead. As usual, his mind wandered... and Naruto reminisced.

No one could say that he had lived a sheltered life. A shinobi's life was already cluttered with risks and pitifully low survival rates, and coupled with an uncooperative demon... Naruto had to congratulate himself for even being alive. The war had changed his view on matters. Life became rough for everyone, not just him. He had seen friends and strangers alike return broken or in body bags; the unlucky ones didn't even have anything left of them to bring back.

Naruto was surprised he was even sane.

Illegible graffiti was scrawled on the door. Did the people who had written them ever return to the very same cubicle to read them again? They probably didn't. Naruto himself had dabbled with graffiti before; he wrote things on the spur of the moment, just to get it out of his system.

But the thing was, he had left the village countless times with the knowledge that he was heading straight into battle. He had been in the same state of mind as his comrades, and yet on more than one occasion, he had been one of the few to return. He had gone on so many perilous infiltrations and for some miraculous reason, he had survived each and every one of them.

Kakashi had said that Uzumaki Naruto would grow to be strong, eventually surpassing Konoha's history of great shinobi.

Of course! Naruto remembered boasting. I'll have to be strong to be Hokage, right? You'd better believe it.

His silver-haired mentor had given him that one-eyed smile and absently flipped another page of his little orange book.

Naruto could clearly remember what he had added after that: And I'll protect all of my precious people, you'll see. One day you'll be taking me to Ichiraku's for saving your life, Kakashi-sensei!

Right. How much of that had he actually fulfilled?

He wasn't the Hokage, he hadn't been able to protect all of his precious people, and he realised now that he had never once shared a private meal with Kakashi Hatake at Ichiraku's.

It was strange, Naruto thought sullenly to himself. Kakashi had been a commendably experienced and skilful jounin. He had been an ANBU captain previously, and even Kage carefully reconsidered their moves after hearing of his involvement. Kakashi had survived more missions that Naruto and Sasuke combined, and at the time of his death he had been a superior ninja to his knuckleheaded student.

Although he had undeniably grown and matured in more ways than one, Naruto could not help but wonder how it was humanly possible that he was still alive and considerably well. A good ninja survived, of course, but he had taken his time climbing his way up to become a 'good ninja'. Even when he had been stumbling around, green with inexperience, he had survived. He had survived when his betters had been picked off.

He was hardier, that he was. The Kyuubi was a formidable force that, for all his guts, Naruto would think ten times over before challenging. It did not automatically disqualify him from the game of death, though. He had teetered on the brink of death more times than he found comfortable.

Maybe he just had better luck.

So, luck must have landed him in this situation.

Naruto felt about ready to leave his little cubicle. He'd had time to think, however sidetracked he had ended up, and after isolating the different factors to the circumstances he had come to the conclusion that he had nothing to lose. From what he could see, Akatsuki probably did not have much to do with it, and even if they had planned this, they had left him with a major advantage: he was alive. He needed to find his way back to Konoha and he couldn't do that very well locked up in a toilet block.

He wisely decided to relieve himself before stepping out of the cubicle. His legs were a little cramped so he did some quick stretches to loosen up the knotted muscles. He must have been in there longer than he had thought. At least it wasn't bad milk this time.

Looking into the wall mirror, Naruto could see how haggard he looked. His face looked grimy but the flakes that crumbled away when his finger touched the spots told him that it was dried blood, caked to his skin. His clothes bore similar stains; the blood had seeped into the material and taken on a dirty shade. The untrained eye wouldn't have discerned it as the life-giving liquid.

I guess I was in a pretty tight spot then, he reflected. It made him all the more fraught to know the outcome of the mission Jiraiya had led.

It had become a practice for Naruto to scrub the blood and sweat from his body each time he returned from a taxing mission. He did not like the residue clinging to him. He turned on the tap and splashed his face, rinsing it until his skin was pink and his cheeks flushed. The people he had come across earlier must have mistaken it for dirt; he doubted they were the sort of people who had witnessed enough blood to become impartial to it. They looked too... soft.

There was nothing he could do about his clothes. Naruto made slight adjustment to the garments; he tore off the flapping sleeves of his shirt and got rid of the loose thread dangling from the legs of the pants. He could barely recognise the scraps of fabric as his own anymore.

He had already checked himself for wounds. There were a couple of scrapes along his arms and across his knees but no sign of any injury that could have spilt as much blood as his clothes indicated. The fox must have dealt with it, though that left Naruto wondering why it had not healed the minor blemishes as well. Lazy furball.

The sky was a startling collage of orange when he stepped outside. The light seemed to shine right into his eyes and Naruto reflexively threw up a hand to shield his face. It must be evening. He remembered it had been around midday when he had woken up. The park was noticeably quieter, though he saw several people walking past across the road. No sign of Akatsuki or anything remotely suspicious.

The road itself was unoccupied. In fact, there were none of the metallic machines Naruto had seen earlier passing by. Thinking of the strange things made the blonde teenager's brow furrow. They were like nothing he had seen before. They were definitely some sort of machine. The wheeled structure resembled horse-drawn carts, but Naruto hadn't seen a horse or any animal pulling the vehicles along. The human sitting inside was probably controlling them. He must be in a very advanced country. Maybe Jiraiya knew about them since he travelled so much. He'd ask the old pervert next time.

Naruto gingerly stepped off the grass lawn of the park and onto the road, sliding between two of the parked machines. He took a moment to run a hand along the surface of one of them; some sort of metal, no doubt about it. Peering in from one of the windows, he could see seats. They really were like carts – just different. Like this place and Konoha.

Konoha... right, I need to get home.

He sprinted across, seeing that the road was empty. He half-expected to see one of the metal contraptions streaking toward him but he reached the other side in one piece. Naruto grinned for the first time since his... arrival. He could do this.

The air was... filthy, he noticed. The breaths he inhaled seemed to have a certain weight to them, unlike the crisp air in the Leaf Village. If he concentrated, Naruto could see traces of smog lazily drifting by. With not much space to circulate, it was no wonder. Buildings were tall and abundant. It was impossible to see mountains or any kind of natural scenery beyond the towering structures. It was a concrete jungle. What kind of place was this?

Naruto explored the block, cautiously at first, then relaxing his guard a little when reality failed to conjure an enemy wielding weapons of death. People passed by him, occasionally shooting him a curious look, though Naruto suspected that their attention was drawn more toward the state of his clothing than anything else.

It was hard to restrain his curiosity. There were more shops and restaurants situated in buildings than the stands set up by the side of the road he had grown up with. It was also daunting how, where Konoha's streets streamed with constant activity, the streets here were split in half by the road that the unknown vehicles travelled by.

Hands down, it was the strangest place Naruto had ever been to.

He walked around, scrutinising new things, until he had circled the block twice. Roads intersected at every corner, branching off into the unknown. By now, Naruto was more curious than anything, and he didn't think twice before he decided to cross another road. He wasn't going to waste his time walking around in circles.

Curiosity killed the cat.

A shrill sound shrieked into his ears, almost identical to the one he had heard previously. Jumped, turned his head in shock. The sun was setting directly behind whatever was roaring toward him; it blinded him. Staggered back, tried to roll out of the way. Tripped.

"Crap!"

Something screeched. Smoke billowed out from nowhere, tasting acrid in Naruto's mouth. He coughed and sputtered. From the same 'nowhere', something hard and solid collided with his head. It was little more than a tap and his forehead protector had absorbed most of the damage, but it was enough to knock him flat on his back. The back of head cracked painfully against the asphalt.

Ow, Naruto thought dully.

Groaning, he levered himself up on an elbow, the other hand holding his head. He was seeing black spots. He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head lightly. When he opened them again, there was a pair of polished shoes – not sandals, he noticed hazily – by his side.

His misgivings instinctively kicked into gear when a hand dropped on his shoulder. He flinched away, a low growl erupting from his throat. A figure swam into view as he focused his gaze. Naruto shook his head again, ignoring the burst of pain that flashed by as a result. He made out the face of a man. Dark hair, stubble on his chin, calculating eyes.

"Who are you?" Naruto demanded. The world had stopping spinning by now – but damn, his head was killing him.

"The guy who almost ran you over," an unfamiliar voice said dryly. "You came out of nowhere and you were moving so fast... I wouldn't shake my head like that if I were you; you might have concussion."

"I'm fine." Something warm trickled thickly down Naruto's arm. He looked down at it. Blood. He must have scraped a layer of skin off in the fall. "Damn it," he muttered.

There was a pause, and then the man spoke again. "I think I should take you to the hospital."

"I'm fine. I don't want to go to the hospital." As if being stuck in the middle of nowhere wasn't bad enough. He wasn't going to let anyone take him anywhere. His knee bumped into something when he tried to get to his feet. Naruto stared. He hadn't noticed that he had come so... close.

"You might want to get out of there." The man saw what he was looking at.

Numbly, Naruto nodded. "Yeah, I do." His lower body was pinned under a portion of the metallic vehicle that the man had driven. He could see now that four wheels were all that held it up. His limbs would have been crushed if any of them had rolled over him. Sitting up, his eyes were level with a plate on the vehicle bearing numbers and letters.

"You fell down at the last moment, didn't you?" the man asked.

Naruto nodded. He'd tripped. If he hadn't he might have been able to get out of the way in time.

"That probably saved your life. I would have hit you if you hadn't gone down."

Naruto doubted those words. He didn't think he would be killed that easily. He had been through harder collisions. The man was probably over-exaggerating.

He started sliding backward, dragging himself out. He was almost bewildered that his legs were well and functional. "Man, that was close."

"Here." He was offered a hand. Naruto accepted the help without second thought, realising only after he was straightening that he had trusted a stranger too easily. Jiraiya always told him that he was naive. He would have to keep that in mind.

Now that he was standing, Naruto saw that the man was not much taller than him. His eyes were calm despite the circumstances. They silently inspect him, appraising the steadiness at which he stood. This was a man who could keep his head on in exigent situations.

He noticed the blood on Naruto's arm. "I'll drive you to the hospital."

Not again. "I don't need the hospital," Naruto insisted. It wasn't much of an injury. "But you should watch where you're going, mister. That thing," he jerked his head toward the machine that could have been the death of him, "could really get someone hurt, you know."

The man opened his mouth but before he could say anything, another voice spoke up. "Do you want me to call an ambulance? He looks like he needs to get to the hospital."

Naruto hadn't noticed, but their little commotion had once again caught the attention of the public. There were more people looking in than walking past.

The word 'ambulance' did not ring any bells, but 'hospital' did. Why did they persist on admitting him to the hospital? "No, it's alright," he tried to tell them.

The woman who had spoken didn't seem to think so. The man standing beside Naruto gave him a long look, and then raised his voice. "There's no need to call an ambulance. I'm a doctor. I'll take care of him."

"Ne, I don't need-"

"I think I'm qualified to tell the difference between what you need and what you want, kid." There was a certain ring of authority to the man's low voice. It seemed he was the doctor he claimed to be. He tugged Naruto's elbow. "Come on, I'll drive you somewhere I can fix you up."

Naruto was tempted to protest. Again. He started to, in fact, but he wasn't stupid. He could see when saying no would not get either of them what they wanted and he could recognise a guy who always got his way in the end.

The man was leading him toward the wheeled machine, rumbling where it stood. He pulled open a side door. Naruto faltered. "Wait a minute," he blurted. "I don't want to get inside that thing."

An eyebrow arched. "Why not?"

Why? He has to ask why? Though he himself had trouble coming up with a legitimate response. "I just... don't like it."

His excuse was lame and they both knew it. "Get in the car, kid. Be quick about it; we're holding up traffic."

Indeed, there was a train of vehicles waiting behind them. The impatient ones rounded around the site and drove on. But Naruto wasn't interested in that. "Car? Is that what they're called?"

The man looked at him for a moment, his eyes once again pensive. Naruto did not like the way he seemed to see through many things at once, as if he would eventually figure out exactly what was going on. For once, the blonde shinobi was right.

"You're not from around here, are you?"

Naruto shrugged. Just his luck to run into a smart guy. If he suspected anyone from Akatsuki here, it would be this man. He was a little like Kakashi.

He didn't like the idea of getting inside the 'car'. He had almost been squashed by one. Except the man did not look like he was going to move if he didn't. Naruto considered turning around and running off. He didn't need a doctor to look at him – the Kyuubi was as medically qualified as any doctor. On the other hand, that would make him suspicious. He still did not know what was going on. It probably would not be wise to draw attention to himself. Attention came hand in hand with trouble. Uzumaki Naruto would know.

So he ducked his head and climbed into the 'car'. The seat was surprisingly comfortable, and the interior of the machine looked even more bizarre than the exterior. What looked like a leaf, but wasn't quite a leaf, dangled from some sort of mirror attached to the roof. Naruto blinked at it. Curiously, he poked it with a finger. Nope, definitely not a leaf. His nose told him it smelt like aloe vera. It took him several moments to realise that it was an air freshener similar to the one Tsunade had had in her office... just in a flat sort of shape.

His inquisitiveness seemed to amuse the man. Naruto heard a chuckle before the door slammed shut. A jolt of adrenaline raced through his veins before he calmed himself. Relax, he told himself. He hadn't been this suspicious of other people when he had been younger. Growing up was not as cool as he had thought it would be, and Jiraiya had said he was growing up too fast. What he meant by that, Naruto didn't have much of an idea.

A door opened on the other side and the man lowered himself inside. There was a wheel, much smaller and more compact than the ones that supported the 'car', positioned in front of him. He grasped it, pulled back a lever that was built between his seat and Naruto's – and they started to move forward.

"Whoa." Naruto looked out the wide window at the front, then out the one next to him. It was a smooth sort of motion, not much faster than his average speed if he leapt through the trees, but it was something new to him. He was moving without even doing anything.

They sped up a little. As they came to a corner, the man turned the wheel in front of him and the 'car' rounded the corner smoothly. More vehicles drove by in an adjacent lane. Naruto found himself with a grin on his face. "Hey, this is pretty cool," he said. He turned back to the man. "Can we go any faster?"

"No, I'm at the speed limit already," came the disappointing reply.

"That's it?" It was hard to believe that he had almost been unable to evade something of this speed. He bet he could throw a kunai and it would travel faster than this. Which reminded him...

"Aren't you going to apologise for almost making me 2D?" he frowned.

They had stopped in the middle of the road as other cars cut across them. The man leaned across, reaching over to open a compartment in front of Naruto. He pulled out a paper towel. "Hold that against your wound."

Naruto had no idea what he was talking about. Until he remembered his arm. The fresh injury did not seem to have healed even the slightest bit. What was the fox doing?

"You still haven't said sorry yet," he reminded the man.

"You were the one who jumped out without looking, weren't you?"

"No, I wasn't."

"... Right."

Naruto knew sarcasm when he heard it. He was taken aback by the man's response. He had not thought of the matter as his own fault. He had just been walking along – and the next thing he knew he was on the ground. He had been watching so carefully before... maybe he should have looked properly that time.

"Well, at least stop calling me 'kid'," he grumbled unhappily.

"I think I've only called you that twice, kid."

"That's three times!"

But the 'car' was moving again. The man obviously controlled where they went, and Naruto did not think that trying to argue with him at this point would do either of them any good.

His concern was unneeded. His companion seemed perfectly alright with multi-tasking. "What's your name?" he asked as they turned into another street. There were a lot of roads and streets, Naruto noticed.

"Me? I'm Uzumaki Naruto." Again, he had to berate himself for giving out his details so easily. Perhaps it was his nature to be open and accepting. It was hard to change who and what he was. It was not fair that their introductions were one-sided, so Naruto asked for the man's name in return.

"Kazuo Haruno."

"Kazuo, huh? Sounds cool."

"Don't get into the habit of calling me that."

Naruto turned to look at him. "Why not, Kazuo?" he asked.

He thought he saw a flash of annoyance flicker on Kazuo Haruno's features. The blonde experienced an unexpected taste of triumph. "Because," the man answered, "I am older then you and therefore your senior. You should address me as 'Mr Haruno'."

Naruto took a moment to think about it. "Nah, I like Kazuo better."

There was silence for a couple of minutes. "Have it your way, kid," the older man said.

"I told you, quit calling me a kid. You know my name, why don't you use it?" He was getting ridiculously worked up about this. Since the war, he had commanded men who were twice his age. He was not used to the sudden change back to teenager status.

"Well, you know my name. Why don't you use it?"

"I am using it."

"My preferred name." Who knew the seemingly cool-headed man could be so annoying? In fact, Kazuo seemed to get more and more light-hearted as time wore on – and it had only been ten minutes since their acquaintance.

Naruto made up his mind. "Hey, Kazuo, I really don't need you to patch me up. You can let me off around here."

"I'm not going to do that."

"What?"

They had stopped again for the other cars. "It's my responsibility to see that you're alright, since I was the one who almost 'made you 2D'." Damn, the guy had good memory.

Naruto ran his hands along the door, trying to figure out how to open it. "I am alright. Come on, let me off already."

But Kazuo just moved the car forward.

"Hey!"

"Naruto." It was the first time the man had used his name. "Wouldn't any doctor want to know why a kid was running around with blood all over his clothes?"

It was enough to make Naruto stiffen. For a ninja like him, blood-spattered clothes were the norm, so he could not understand why the fact that Kazuo Haruno had been able to discern the dark stains was startling to him. Perhaps it was the obliviousness that he had received from the general public. The blood was so dried up that it was almost unrecognisable. But Kazuo Haruno could tell.

Another conclusion came to him almost as soon as the initial alarm dissipated. Naruto was surprised at the rate his mind was churning. He had never fashioned himself as a thinker. Akatsuki would know where and how he had gotten the bloodstains. Kazuo seemed to be genuinely interested. The possibility of Akatsuki's involvement was quickly becoming diluted.

"Kid."

Naruto snapped to attention. "Huh? Did you say something, Kazuo?"

"I asked you if you were in a fight."

"Oh." The strength seemed to drain from him all at once as he reclined into the cushioned seat. "Yeah, I guess I was."

"What sort of fight?" Kazuo questioned.

"Dunno. I can't remember." He wished he could. He was so... confused. "Kazuo?" He received a grunt so he proceeded to ask, "Where are we going?"

The answer was one-worded and unbelievably significant to Naruto. "Home."

His eyes widened, hopes lifting. "Really? You know where I live?"

"No." Kazuo imperceptibly rolled his eyes. "My home."

"Oh," Naruto said again, sinking back into his seat.

"Have you got a problem with that, kid?"

His sense of anxiety was slipping away, revealing the tired teenager that he was. "Not really... but why?"

"I'm a doctor." That was all the reasoning Kazuo gave. Apparently, he expected it to be enough. Naruto chose not to press the issue. As long as there was no danger, he was quite alright with a stranger taking him home. If Kazuo proved to be untrustworthy, Naruto was more than capable of taking care of himself even in this state.

There seemed to be a radio in the car. It wasn't playing any of the channels Naruto usually had his set on. Classical music was not his cup of tea, either, but it was slow and soft, and he gradually let it lull him to sleep.

His slumber was uneasy. A frown carved into his brow and he thought he muttered a little, though he was not certain what slipped past his lips. He was almost grateful when he was shaken awake by Kazuo. It felt like he had only been asleep for seconds.

"We're here, kid. Out you get. Keep pressure on that arm... weren't you wearing a seatbelt?" The instructions came and he obliged with a bleary mind, moving robotically.

"A... what?" Naruto heard himself mumble.

He hadn't realised he was so tired. Chakra deprivation was nastier than he remembered. Thankfully, he did not have to walk much; Kazuo had stopped directly outside a house. Naruto observed it as the fog cleared from his head. It was a modest-looking building with two storeys and pale bricks. He could already guess that it would be larger than his apartment.

It was. As Kazuo let them in, Naruto's eyes swept over the spacious lounge and furnishings. One side was cut off by a counter, reserving space for a kitchen. A dining table stood behind a set of couches, a glass coffee table placed in front of the said couches.

Kazuo directed him to the couch. "Sit down."

Naruto lifted the paper towel from his arm as he took his seat. It hadn't bled a lot. Kazuo did not seem to care. He took out a white box from a cupboard and slid it onto the coffee table; a first aid kit. Naruto could not help but pull a face at the gloves that he pulled on. "It's just a scratch," he told him.

"Don't tell a doctor what to do, kid."

Kazuo got down to work. After a while Naruto tried to make conversation, finding the silence awkward. "Do you always pick up people off the side of the road and take them home?" he asked the man.

"Well, look at it this way," Kazuo replied, dabbing at the wound with a towel that he had gotten up to wet earlier. "Do you always cross the road without looking?"

Naruto scowled. "Hey, you don't need to rub it in, you know."

"What, this ointment? It's antibiotic; it's good for you."

"Not that!"

"What, then?"

Naruto sighed in exasperation. "You're really frustrating," he shot at Kazuo after a pause.

The man gave a small smile. "That's good news for me."

"Why you-" He stopped when he heard a scuffling sound from upstairs.

"Dad? Who are you talking to?" a feminine voice called down.

Naruto looked at Kazuo. "Who's that?"

"My husband."

"... Your what?"

He received a pointed look in return. "What do you call your father, kid?"

Naruto lowered his eyes. "Nothing," he murmured. He could feel Kazuo's eyes on him. The man never seemed to miss anything. He was grateful when no questions arrived to pry at his parentage.

"Dad?" the voice asked again, having heard no reply.

"Come down and meet someone, Sakura," Kazuo called up, tilting his head back. "I picked up some takeout for dinner, too."

"Mou, you said you were going to cook tonight." The voice didn't sound too upset and it sounded much closer now.

Kazuo applied tape to hold the layer of bandages together. He had worked so quickly and efficiently that Naruto had barely noticed the process. Kazuo was a little like Shizune in that matter; he talked and bantered to distract his patients.

"So who's this someone you brought home, Dad?"

Naruto turned his head. A slim girl was standing at the bottom of the stairs, one hand on the rail. She appeared to be around his age. Her pink hair interested him but his attention was drawn to the shorts that she wore. Or rather, the skin it revealed. He couldn't help it – they were the first things he saw. He did have his shame, though, and turned away quickly, face reddening. He had been spending too much time around Jiraiya, no doubt about it. Except he wasn't a-

"Dad! He's a pervert!"

Busted.

He groaned. Cringing, he raised his head and tried to explain. Tried to. Not many words came out when he saw the amount of indignant fury blazing in the emerald eyes that glared at him. He recoiled. "H-Hi," Naruto grinned weakly.

Kazuo's daughter frowned down at him. "Who is he?" The question was directed at her father, thick with accusation. The message: You'd better have a good reason for putting your daughter's dignity at risk.

"A kid I almost ran over," Kazuo said. He packed away the first aid kit. "I thought I'd take him home and fix him up."

"I thought you were a better driver than that." Sakura had not looked away. It took most of Naruto's willpower to hold up her gaze. It was ridiculous – he was more afraid of a girl with pink hair than a missing-nin. Like her father, Haruno Sakura did not seem to have much trouble dealing with random strangers. Or holding a grudge against them.

It was Kazuo who rescued him. "Sakura, I left dinner in the car. Would you mind getting it for me? It's in the back seat."

Sakura caught the keys he tossed her with unnerving fluidity, especially since she was still occupied giving Naruto a dirty look that unquestionably discouraged him from laying eyes on anywhere... inappropriate. The blonde sat rigidly until the girl had disappeared out the front door.

"Freaky," he whispered shakily, as if afraid she could still hear him.

"Some advice, kid? Don't peek at my daughter. It's for your own safety," Kazuo suggested. He did not seem bothered by the conflict that had instantly sparked between the two teenagers.

"You're telling me this now." Like Sakura, Naruto was keen to place the blame on the adult.

Kazuo's tone changed, becoming business-like. "I think you're about ready to go home now. Do you have family I can call to pick you up?"

Unsure how to reply, Naruto just shook his head.

The man's eyes narrowed slightly. "Where were you staying?"

"Nowhere." Naruto saw an opportunity. "Where are we, anyway? How far are we from Fire Country?"

Kazuo regarded him. "Fire Country?" he repeated.

"Yeah. You must know Fire Country. It's one of the Five Great Nations..." Naruto's voice got quieter until it trailed off completely. He knew that look in Kazuo's eyes. He had seen it at the park. It was the look of someone who had no idea what he was talking about.

"Kid?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you're lost."

The door opened again and Sakura stepped inside, peering inside a plastic bag. "What did you get, Dad? It looks like noodles to me," she said.

Naruto knew the answer the moment she opened the lid of one of the containers. The heavenly scent escaped into the air, lingering. It was torturous. It was-

"Ramen," Kazuo answered.

Naruto's stomach growled.

Sakura stared. "What was that?"

He swallowed meekly. "Me." Ramen... ramen...

"You're hungry, aren't you, kid? I guess I did buy extra for breakfast tomorrow..."

He couldn't even remember the last time he had eaten. It was time to practice his puppy-dog eyes.

Sakura caught on quickly. "Is he staying for dinner as well?" She obviously disapproved.

"What can I say, Sakura? Your father is a charitable man."

His presence made the meal a little uncomfortable but Naruto was too immersed in his food to care or do much about it. His loyalty toward Ichiraku's had not dithered one bit. The beef ramen Kazuo had handed him was not quite well-done as Ichiraku's, the broth a notch below Naruto's usual standard. He dug in anyway. He was ravenous.

At one point, he swallowed too quickly and choked. A hand thumped his back, unexpectedly hard. "Slow down," Sakura scolded.

He coughed, raising a hand. "I-I'm okay. I'm – gack – okay."

Then Kazuo seemed to remember something. "That's right; you don't know each other yet, do you?" He didn't want for the negatives. "Kid, this is my daughter Sakura. Sakura, this is Uzumaki Naruto, our new roommate tonight."

"Huh, you remembered my na – wait, WHAT?" He was not alone in the last exclamation. Sakura was staring at her father in dismay, mouth dropping open.

Kazuo continued eating, unperturbed. "You have nowhere to go, right, kid? You can take the couch tonight. We'll figure something out tomorrow."

As much as Naruto was thankful for offer, he was also impressed by Kazuo's swift decision-making. Even he wasn't certain he wanted to stay in a stranger's house for a night.

"Err, Kazuo, are you sure-"

"Dad, do you know what you're-"

Both Naruto and Sakura stopped to look at each other. "You first," Naruto offered. Sakura nodded, the only approval she had given him so far.

"Dad, we hardly know him," she objected. Naruto was not wounded by her words – it was true, after all. He was a fairly... easy-going person, but even he would think twice before inviting an outsider to stay at his place.

"I don't know half the people I save the lives of, Sakura. The kid is lost. What do you expect me to do? If you really want, we can just kick him out and leave him there in the cold."

Naruto was fully prepared for Sakura's affirmation of her father's suggestion, so he almost fell off his chair when she scowled at her father. "You play dirty," she accused.

Kazuo had finished his noodles by now and he faced the teenagers with an even expression on his face. "Besides, I let Ken stay over, didn't I?"

His reminder made Sakura flush. "Dad!" she hissed, throwing a side glance at Naruto. The latter was confused by her reaction. He didn't have much time to think about it, though.

"What about you, Naruto?" Kazuo asked him. "Do you want to stay over for the night? The couch should be big enough for you."

He was glad that Sakura was too busy controlling her blush; her heavy gaze would probably make him choke on his own saliva. "Well, I don't really mind," he shrugged, choosing his words carefully. "But, you know, like she said, I don't really know you guys."

Sakura seemed a little taken aback by his response. Naruto realised that he had undoubtedly given her a very bad first impression that was far removed from his actual characteristics. She probably thought he was a good for nothing, greedy, perverted jerk.

Kazuo picked up their bowls and deposited them in the sink. "It doesn't really matter, does it? You're welcome to sleep outside if it'll make you feel better."

"Uh, no, I'm fine," Naruto said quickly.

"Kids these days are so modest," Kazuo sighed. His daughter gave a disbelieving snort. "Right, I'm going to take a shower. You can take one too, kid. Actually," he said, reviewing his guest's dishevelled appearance, "you have to take one if you're going to be sleeping on our couch. We'll fix you up with some clothes as well. Oh, and make sure you don't get your arm wet."

"What did you do, anyway? Fall off a cliff?" Sakura asked after her father had gone upstairs. "You really need some new clothes."

Naruto grimaced. The cloth was scratchy and worn thin with dozens of torn patches. "Can't remember what I did, but these really suck. I got mistaken for a beggar earlier," he said, remembering the old man.

"Not really a surprise." Sakura hesitated. "Hey, Naruto?"

"Huh? What?"

"You're not a thief or anything like that, are you?"

He frowned. Fair enough that she should think so, but he was still a little offended. He was the guy who beat up the bad guys, not the other way around. "I won't steal anything. Promise," he assured her. "I always keep my promises." That wasn't exactly true. He tried to keep his promises. Too many of them had been broken lately.

Sakura seemed to believe him. Still, he could hear the unspoken words: You'd better.

"Uh, you wouldn't mind if I sat outside for a bit, would you?" Naruto asked.

"You don't have to ask, you know." Sakura retorted. She went to the sink and started washing their utensils. This made Naruto feel a tad bit ungrateful, and he changed his mind.

"Let me do that." He took the sponge from her hand.

She seemed uncertain but eventually let him have his way. "Just leave them on the rack to dry," she murmured. "I'll... I'll find you some blankets."

"Thanks," he called after her. He thought he heard her muttering to herself as she followed her father upstairs, and he chuckled. Girls – he would never understand them.

It only took him a few minutes to complete his task. Naruto left everything on the rack as he had been told. Then, finding the front door, he stepped outside. He was met with a breeze of cool air. The sun had set while he had been with the Harunos. Stars decorated the inky sky.

The house lacked a porch so Naruto fashioned himself a seat from a brick ledge that surrounded a small patch of plants. He could see lights from tall buildings in the distance. He had seen quite a few buildings that were taller than the Hokage Tower. Several cars passed by, installed lights shining.

He was lucky to have run into Kazuo, he reflected. He actually had not even considered accommodation until now. He had been hell-bent on finding his way back to Konoha, completely overlooking the necessary details. That had been very... well, stupid of him, he supposed. Naruto was often told that he had to think before he acted.

The Harunos were a weird family. Or perhaps their oddity was normal. Naruto wouldn't know. He did wonder about Sakura's mother. He hadn't met her and she had not been mentioned so far. Perhaps Kazuo had gone through a divorce with his wife. Though, Naruto did notice that there was not much... maternal touch to the house. Sakura's mother had probably passed away. He wasn't going to ask about it. He was hardly in a position to poke his nose into their family's business. He would probably leave the next day anyway.

Naruto sighed. He was going to have to think again. Having asked himself the same question over and over again, it was laughable that he still did not have an answer. What was he going to do?

Raising his hand and curling it into a loose fist, he could tell that his chakra had not returned. It was starting to worry him; usually he would have recovered at least a small fraction by this time. Coupled with his unhealed wounds, Naruto had to wonder if the Kyuubi had taken a sick leave or something.

Naruto's head came up very quickly.

Was that it? Had Kyuubi been sealed by Akatsuki while he had been unconscious? But that made no sense – he shouldn't be alive if that was the case. Gaara had been killed when the Shukaku had been extracted.

Well, he couldn't do anything about it if Kyuubi had been sealed. That only made returning to Konoha all the more prioritised. Pain would definitely start mobilising Akatsuki toward their 'world peace' campaign if they had all the tailed beasts. Even if he was wrong and Kyuubi was just being moody, Naruto still needed to find his way back.

It was easier said than done, though. He had to be unspeakably far from Konoha. There was no telling how long it would take him, and he had no idea which way to go. Not to mention that he was awfully vulnerable without chakra. He had hoped his reserves would replenish overnight but at this rate the likelihood was slim.

Would Kazuo let him stay until his chakra returned? He had been hospitable so far, but that man was a strange guy. Haruno Sakura was also misleading. Naruto's impressions of her swung back and forth like a pendulum; one second she was downright scary and the next she was strangely empathetic. Granny Tsunade had been like that, too.

Naruto closed his eyes mournfully. That had been another promise he hadn't been able to keep. He should not have vowed to protect so many people if it was beyond him. He felt like a liar. A big fat liar.

He sat outside for a while, allowing time to flow. He would most likely find himself back here later. It was a little discomfiting to be in the presence of a host he hardly knew. He hoped Sakura and her father did not have a habit of watching television late at night; he had seen a larger-than-normal television in the lounge. Like the radio in Kazuo's car, he doubted they broadcasted the same channels as his crappy, second-hand one back home.

Unfortunately, when he decided that it was time to go back inside, he was faced with a certain difficulty. Naruto wrenched at the knob, twisting and turning. He was afraid of tugging too hard and breaking it, and no one responded when he knocked.

He had locked himself out.

Reluctantly, he realised that he would have to try a window. After a quick round he discovered that the ones of the ground level were locked. Great. Naruto smacked his forehead. He was definitely an idiot, alright.

It was difficult to be certain from the ground, but it seemed the majority of windows on the second floor were closed as well... except one. It was around the side of the house. It seemed to belong to a room; he couldn't tell what was in it. It would have to be that one.

Normally, Naruto would have simply glued himself to the brick surface with chakra and walked up, but since he did not have that luxury... He backed up to the fence that cordoned the house from its neighbour's. His sandals were falling apart but could still serve their purpose. He did not fancy scaling the rough shell on bare feet.

Naruto took a running start and leapt upward. His fingers missed the ledge by millimetres. Falling back, he twisted so that he could use the top of the fence as leverage, and propelled himself up again. His limbs must have been weaker than he thought; he once again miscalculated his range, though this time he managed to grab onto the ledge. The air was knocked out of him as he slammed into the wall.

Grunting, he reached up to open the window a little further, and then hoisted himself into the room. His sandals landed on the floor much sooner than he had expected, however, and Naruto, his balance overthrown, almost fell backward out the way he had come. He steadied himself before he did, exhaling deeply.

"What the hell, Naruto?"

Naruto's head snapped around so quickly that he heard a faintly audible crack. "Gah! Sa – oh... whoa!" No amount of reflexes could rescue him this time, and he tumbled off the desk he had mistaken for the floor, landing in a crumpled heap on the real thing.

Sakura rolled off her bed and stalked over to him. She leaned over, hands on her hips. "What the hell, Naruto," she said again, her voice demanding.

He just groaned. First the toilet... now Sakura's room.

"Did you just climb in through my window?"

"Ugh... yeah. Sorry, turns out the front door was locked," Naruto said sheepishly. He clambered to his feet, almost overbalancing. He felt strangely clumsy when he was around Sakura.

She was staring out her window, trying to understand something.

"Um... Sakura, you might fall if you lean out that far..."

"You just... from the ground? What are you – a gorilla?" She was dumbfounded, her eyes wide.

Naruto blinked as the picture of a furry replica of himself peeling a banana involuntarily offered itself to his imagination. "No, not a gorilla." He jabbed a thumb at his chest. "Me, I'm a ninja!"

Several seconds trickled by. Then Sakura moaned in despair. "Oh no, we have another one..." She shook her head, seeming to curse her father under her breath. She grimaced at Naruto. "Alright, which one are you? Leonardo? Raphael?"

He had long since learned that trying to understand something he couldn't would only get him in more trouble, so Naruto settled for the traditional, "Huh?"

"That's right, Naruto, you're not a turtle."

What, so first I'm a gorilla and now I'm a... turtle? Maybe he hadn't established the point. "I'm a ninja." Naruto pointed at his forehead protector. "See? I'm a Leaf nin."

Confusion sparked in Sakura's eyes as she looked at the headband. Then she sighed. "Naruto." Her tone was suddenly patient and somewhat sympathetic, as if she was talking to a child. "You are not a ninja. There are no ninjas."

"Hey, look, I'm a-"

"Ninjas don't exist."

Naruto gawked at her, trying to decipher the now irritated expression Sakura wore. That had been a very bad joke. "What do you mean?" He was getting annoyed now. "Of course we exist. We're in the middle of a war right now. You can't make fun of that!"

His level of seriousness startled Sakura. "Naruto?" she asked uncertainly.

He caught himself before he could raise his voice any further. He muttered an apology, glaring at the ground. Slowly, his brow smoothed as the adrenaline fizzled out of his system. It wasn't a laughing matter. He was two hundred percent – one thousand percent if it had to be – confident that ninjas existed. He was one himself, damn it!

But look at all those differences between this place and Konoha, his cynical self pointed out. And there were many differences. One more would not have affected the number – but that one more was all the difference to Naruto. Of all the things that this place could lack... how could Sakura not even have heard of shinobi? Had they not been affected by the war at all?

"Sakura?" His chest was heaving with heavy breaths. "You're... serious, aren't you? About there being no ninjas?"

She pursed her lips, then gave it to him. "Of course I am."

Naruto closed his eyes. It's nothing big... maybe they don't need ninjas in this place... that's why Sakura doesn't know about them. It's okay. It's okay. But he couldn't say the same for Konoha, even Fire Country. No one seemed to know them.

Sakura shuffled her feet. "Naruto, was being a ninja some sort of childhood dream of yours? Like being a policeman or something like that?" she asked tentatively.

He took a deep breath, making himself open his eyes and smile at her. "Sort of."

"You seem really upset about it."

"Just overreacting again... I do lots of stupid things, heh. Sorry about that, Sakura."

Silence stretched between them. Naruto searched for something to say – after all, this was his fault and it was good manners to resolve what he had begun. Except there was nothing he could say. Nothing he could figure out; nothing he could make any sense of.

Then Sakura started giggling.

Naruto tilted his head. "What's so funny?"

"N-Nothing!"

Despite the growing bleakness of his situation, Naruto could not resist grinning. "Aw, come on, tell me!"

Sakura controlled her giggles, her shoulders still shaking with laughter. Mirth swam in her eyes. It was the first time Naruto had seen her smile, and it struck him now that she was quite pretty. "I was just trying to imagine a ninja like you," she began, "wearing pink pyjamas."

His imagination once again supplied a creative image. Naruto snorted. "That would be pretty funny. And weird," he conceded. "You wanna try it out?" he suggested jokingly.

Now she stopped laughing. It was so abrupt that Naruto looked questioningly at her. She wasn't quite meeting his gaze. "Well, you're going to have to," she said apologetically.

"... Why?"

"Um, you see... Dad doesn't wear pyjamas."

"He goes to bed naked?"

"In his boxers," Sakura corrected. "And a singlet."

Naruto tried to rid himself of the disturbing image. "Okay, I can... deal with that. What's that got to do with me and pink pyjamas?"

"Not exactly pink," she mumbled.

"Sakuraaaaa."

"Okay, okay." She looked flustered. "Dad probably has some clothes that are close to your size, but he doesn't like the idea of you going to bed in jeans and a t-shirt, so..."

It took roughly ten seconds for Naruto to comprehend the meaning behind the unsaid words. His eyes bulged out in horror. "No way. No way." He flinched. "I-I can just stay in these clothes."

"No, you can't. They're filthy. We're throwing them out after your shower."

Naruto was frantically waving his hands in front of him. "I don't want to wear your pink pyjamas!"

"They're not pink, they're purple!"

He paused, considering. Purple isn't too bad...

"... With love hearts on them," Sakura added.

Naruto blanched. "Ewwww!"

It was obviously equally uncomfortable for Sakura. "Hey, it's not like I want your... your... that in my pants either!" she shouted back, blushing profusely.

"Oh God..." Naruto paled and turned around, pulling away the waistband of his ruined trousers. "Phew, that's good. Lucky..."

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked suspiciously, trying to look around him.

"Gah, don't look!"

"What?"

"I-I was checking if I still had any underpants on..."

A fist blindsided him, sending him staggering out into the hallway. "DON'T DO THAT IN FRONT OF A LADY!"

The door slammed shut with frightening force, shuddering in its place.

Naruto gingerly picked himself up, only to have Sakura open the door again and toss the revolting pyjamas in his face.

"So violent," he grumbled, holding the clothes at arm's length, pinched between two fingers.

"I heard that!" Sakura growled dangerously behind the closed door.

As he stomped down the landing, Kazuo's voice floated from one of the rooms. "Ah, Sakura's mad. You're in trouble, kid."

Naruto realised, as he finally located the bathroom, that his life was so screwed up it was not funny.


A/N: The plot-dinosaur wouldn't leave me alone, so this begged to be written. I'm hoping it won't impact too heavily on my other updates (though it already has). I actually planned out everything for this story, so I can work on this on and off whenever I'm stuck on the other stories.

Alright, now for some details.

Yes, a Naruto in the future fic. I've never read one so I don't know how well it will turn out. Just to get it out of the way - no, a new supervillain will not materialise and threaten the safety of the world.

The Naruto universe is very confusing with technology. I know there were trains and high-level technology in one of the Naruto movies, but I don't think I will consider those in this story. It's not quite canon. I'm pretty sure there were televisions (we saw one in the Chunin Exam arc) and I'm assuming there are radios as well. I think Gatou spoke with Zabuza over a phone, too. There aren't too many major differences, but as you can see, Naruto was quite overwhelmed by the cars - you have no idea how hard it was for me not to type in CAR while writing that.

About the characters. If one of them exists in one time, they do not exist in the other. Sakura exists only in her time, not Naruto's, which is why it is an AU. Ino will also be staying in Sakura's time. They are the only ones I have planned at the moment for Sakura's time. I know that taking them out of Naruto's time will affect things, like what they were involved with in canon. I'm not going to elaborate much on those. That's where the power of fanfiction kicks in; you're just going to have to imagine that life went on, with minor changes and such. And yes, I killed off quite a few characters just in the first chapter, didn't I? Evil little me.

I used the same name for Sakura's father as I did in Only Human; less confusing for me to write. I couldn't resist the humour at the end (come on, they're both perverts...). And that was my tribute to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They may be slightly OOC, considering the different times and the war that changed Naruto a little. I'll try to keep them in character.

Lastly (sorry for long AN), thanks for reading all of that and I hope you enjoy this new story.